Chapter 22 The Words Just Fell Out Of My Mouth

Now or Never was released on October 28, 2002 and Nick went on tour a few months after that. That tour made me feel lonelier than ever because Nick asked Michelle to play the keyboard, Chris to play the drums, Dan to be on the electric guitar and Crystal to play the bass. All of my best friends went on tour leaving me behind. Nick offered me a spot as a backup singer but I turned it down. I could have gone knowing that the tour wasn’t as long as the others he had been on but still I had bills to pay and I didn’t want to miss much of work.

So I spent most of my time at the dance studio and I hung out a lot with my dancing friends. Mark introduced me to some of his friends from high school which was nice and they let me join their group. I was still dating Jasper but it wasn’t technically a relationship. Unless you think that a relationship containing a lot of lust is a good one. Jasper was the best lover I had even though there wasn’t exactly love between us.

One day I hung out at Mark’s house and he told me some information that I pretty much figured out on my own. He just confirmed it.

“I have to tell you something about Jasper Kayl.”

“What is it?”

“He and I have been friends since I started ball room dancing, before I found our studio. He is a really good friend but not the greatest boyfriend. I should have told you this the night we went to the club but he’s known for sleeping around with a girl then when he gets tired of her he’ll either dump her or just leave the morning after and never come back. I can’t count how many times he has done this. He can be trusted as a friend but not as a boyfriend. He also tricks girls into thinking he loves them and then he breaks their heart. Kay, do you love him?”

“No,” I answered without missing a beat. “I don’t. And I kind of figured that out a few days ago. To be honest our relationship is really just sex.”

“Then why are you sticking around with him? It doesn’t sound like you to do something like this.”

“I’m just lonely I guess. I mean I don’t have Ryan, all my best friends are touring. But also I’m not really looking for a true relationship right now. I mean I’m starting to give up on finding that special one because I thought it was Ryan.”

“What do you mean by that special one?”

“The special one as in the one I’m going to marry.”

“You’ll find him Kay. You’re going to have to look for him but knowing you, you’ll find him. I know you thought it was going to be Ryan but people change. And in my opinion Jasper is the quickest one to change. You never know with him; one day you could have a night where he feels the sex wasn’t good enough and the next morning he’ll vanish without a trace. He has gone through so many phone number changes it’s not funny.”

“But like I said I’m not looking for love anymore. Just a good time.”

“What if you become pregnant? Do you know how hard it is to be a single parent? I also don’t want to see you get really hurt because you did something stupid like this. I’m just trying to watch out for ya sweetie.”

 “I know you are. I’m just giving up slowly on my search for love.”

“I hate when a girl says that. Don’t give up! You almost gave up before remember? But you got through it. What about Nick?”

“What about him?”

“Is he seeing anybody?”

“I don’t think so. We haven’t gotten the chance to talk to each other since he’s been away.”

“Do you still have feelings for him?”

“Well… the only reason why I left with Jasper that night was because he looked like Nick. Stupid reason I know.”

“So you wanted a guy that looked like Nick so you could possibly trick yourself into thinking that you were with Nick?”

I nodded my head, “You hit the nail on the head. Shortly after I found out he’s not at all like Nick.”

“Obviously not. Nick’s not a player, from what I know about him anyway. I don’t know him like you do but I doubt he is. Why don’t you just tell Nick you have feelings for him?”

“I’m afraid something is going to happen between us and our friendship would be ruined. I’d rather have Nick stay my best friend if anything goes wrong.”

“I highly doubt that something would go wrong between the two of you. You need to tell him how you’re feeling. I bet that you’ll be the happiest person alive when you tell him because I have a strong feeling he likes you back and things would go further between the two of you. Just try it Kay. I want you to be happy babe.”

I bought myself tickets to the last Now or Never show in Florida which was right outside my home town. Nick wanted to pay for them but I beat him too it. Besides it was my engagement present to Trisha because Kasey finally proposed to her in the beginning of 2002. I didn’t know what else to get her to welcome her into the family but I remembered how excited she was when Now or Never come out. She begged her fiancé for tickets but I beat my brother by surprising Trisha with the tickets.

Ever since Trish started dating my twin she and I became best friends. She was even a BSB fan and was just excited as I was when Nick released his solo CD. We were also equally excited for the concert.

There was good reason to be excited for the concert too because it was awesome! Nick was having the time of his life singing his personal songs that he worked so hard on. The rest of our best friends were enjoying themselves too. Michelle was dancing behind the keyboard; Chris was rocking out on the drums; Crystal was keeping it cool with her bass and Dan was jamming on the electric guitar. They all looked and sounded so professional and were having a really good time. I wished I could play an instrument like that. I really wanted to be on stage with them. I was feeling left out in a way. But then again I was having a blast singing and dancing with Trish.

After the show we caught up with Nick and his band before they climbed into the tour bus. We hung out with them for a while until the driver started the engine.

“Well guys Trish and I better hit the road.”

“Before you leave we have to tell you something,” Chris said.

“What is it?” Trish asked.

“That show was our second to last,” Michelle replied.

“We have one more show and then we’re coming home on Monday!” Crystal exclaimed.

“Finally! I’ve missed all of you so much! I was feeling lonely without my besties,” I commented.

“Well you won’t be lonely for long Kayl,” Nick said as he hugged me. “Have a safe trip home girlies.”

I said my see- you- laters to my friends and as I hugged Dan he whispered in my ear, “By the way, Tally and I are a couple now.”

I looked at him and then glanced at Crystal. She nodded her head and I exclaimed, “Oh my god! It took you two long enough! Tell me details when you come home. We’ll all have a welcome home dinner at my house.”

Crystal grabbed Dan’s hand and smiled at me, “Sounds good Kay. We’ll see you Monday.”

That night when Trish and I got home, Kasey and Jasper, unexpectedly, were waiting up for us.

“Hey baby!” Jasper jumped off of the couch and engulfed me in an excited hug. “How was the concert?”

I was shocked because Jasper never acted like that toward me. I mean he would hug and kiss me but he was never that excited to see me.

“It was awesome,” I finally answered. “You guys didn’t have to wait up for us.”

Kasey casually walked over to Trish with a huge smile on his face. He had been smiling ever since she said yes. He kissed her and held her while he answered, “Yeah we kind of did. We wanted to wait up for our girls like gentlemen and we wanted to hear about the concert.”

“We could’ve told you in the morning. It’s so late honey,” Trish said.

“What’s wrong with me wanting to wait up for my bride to be?” Kasey asked and kissed her cheek.

“Awe baby! There’s nothing wrong with it. Let’s go to bed. I’m so tired. Good night Kayl. Thank you so much for taking me tonight.”

“Oh it’s no problem sis. It was just my way of saying welcome to the family.”

Trish and Kasey walked up stairs hand in hand and Jasper started kissing my neck lightly.

“So why were you so excited to see me tonight? You’re never like this.” Jasper and I were very open with each other. I felt like I was talking to Mark when I was talking with Jasper. We talked about almost everything except how I felt about Nick and about our relationship every becoming serious. I have to say that lately he was acting like he was in love with me. I never called him out on it though.   

“I missed you baby. I haven’t seen you at all this week. And I think you got prettier since I’ve seen you last.”

I looked at him with a questioning look, “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“And you really missed me?”

“Of course I did. What… I can’t miss the girl I love?”

I was so shocked.

“What did you just say?”

“I said I love you. Do you love me too?”

The words just fell out of my mouth, “Yes I do.”

“Oh Kalie you made me so happy right now! Come on let’s go up stairs and celebrate!” He grabbed my hand and whisked me up to my room. I giggled at his sheer joy. Maybe I was starting to actually love Jasper.

The next afternoon after Jasper left for work, I called Mark.

“Hey Kayl! How was the concert last night?”

“It was awesome as usual! But I’m so excited now!”

“What’s up?”

“First our friends are coming home tomorrow!”

“What time are they coming home?”

“Well I’m not really sure but I’m having everybody over for a welcome home dinner if you want to come. I’m making mac and cheese.”

“I’ll be there with bells on!”

“I figured you would say that once I said mac and cheese! And second…” I paused for dramatic effect.

“What?”

“When Trish and I came home last night Kyle and Jasper were waiting up for us.”

“Wait did you say Jasper?” he asked astonished.

“Yeah Jasper was waiting up too. I asked him why he was waiting up and he said that he really missed me and… guess what else!”

“What,” he was a little hesitant to ask.

“He told me he loved me,” I replied while I slowly smiled.

“He told you he loves you… really. What did you say back?”

“I told him I love him too.”

“Bad move Kalie.”

“The words just slipped. It’s was a reflex.”

“Watch your back Kay. Watch it very, very carefully. And don’t fall too far for him.”

“I know Mark. I’m a smart cookie. I’ll see you tomorrow for dinner.”

“Alright hun. See you tomorrow.”