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Author's Chapter Notes:
both in Kevin's and Nick's POV
Kevin's POV


It was an ordinary Friday afternoon. The last tendrils of dawn billows lightly a comforting tone. Spending quality time with my wife Kristen and two young sons. As I was drifting through the yard setting up our picnic while the boys played wildly in the poo Kristen ran her fingers up as I arranged the patio, kissing each crevice on my body.
I missed having days like these, I mean don't get me wrong I do love being in the Backstreet Boys but i also love the faint reminders that I am also a devoted husband and father.
I recalled the moment I rejoined the group. The fellas was brilliant in happiness, expecially Nick. Now it seems dreary to think we could all move ahead with the way we were today or if it's even possible to regain that crown again.
" Daddy look! i caught a whale!" my son excited to tell me, ripping myself from this discouragement.
" Cool buddy! Do you think you can catch some fish to eat?" I replied silly as Max stuck out his tongue in disgust.
" eww! Fish is gross Daddy!." he ran off laughing.
A sparkling joy came over me and checked beyond the horizons in awe.
Sudden;y my phone chimed into my feathering conversation and kristen swatted me lightly.
" ignore it sweetie." she protested as when I was going to push that button my heart completely spilled out of me.
Cherry Brooks Forest.
Nick.
" i have to answer this I mouthed and she gave me the death stare.
I hated doing this to her.
" Hello?" I sang, my nerves were climbing up my throat, threatening my voice.
" Hello Kevin Richardson? It is Lisa from Cherry Brooks how are you today?"
" Fine>" I stumbled longing for the news.
" I understand your the patient Nick's guardian and we have to report to you anything that goes on."
It was true I am but I haven't told Nick that yet.
After a couple days she had called me to meet her in her office. She had dark skin and hazelnut eyes..fairly young. She explained that Nick is no longer able to make any decisions due to his mental state.
I signed up for the brutal task of doing it for him.
" yes..is he ok?" I spilled and heard a thick smoke in her to siren me it wasn't good.
" We need you here promptly" was all she wrote to me and I try to blink back my refusal.
" Ok, I'm leaving right now." I told her and clutched my keys. kristen ran up behind me.
" Where are you going?" She breathlessly asked I turned around and nearly crumbled when I saw a bridge of worry forming.
" Nick needs me." Leaving a dumbfounded kristen in the hallway.
I rushed through the busy streets I found myself asking what came upon Nick. He was there to get better not worse. All i knew is that he needed somebody...somebody to take him out of darkness and into a joyful life. He had been through too much already to give up...thinking death as an only door out.
When I reaCHED the hospital and aimed towards the entrance. i never thought it was going to be bad until I heard a distant screaming that pounded familiar pain.
" hello, can i help you Sir?" a young nurse asked and my trance of him yelling and screaming deafened on my ears.
" yes I am Nick's guardian at the moment." I startled and she nooded, forcing me to wait as they attempted to calm Nicky down.
Then Lisa came in and directed me into her office..enjoying the silence when Nick had stopped..fearing what he might of done.
I took the closest chair to me in her office and waited for the news on his condition. Judging by her expression it was a horrible sight.
" Mr Richardson..Nick had refused to take his medication and had acted out in violence leading to injuring a couple of staff members."
I exhaled out what I held in my chest..needing to explode my anxiety and pure grief.
my Nicky..causing all this destruction, struggling to find the very words to help him.
" Since he was a danger to everyone and also himself, we had to restrain and sedate him for the time being." she quietly told me and I pictured Nick being strapped down..fighting this war he presses onto himself.
" So what is going to happen to him now?" I begged to her hoping anything could save him. she took out his file and thumbed the pages delicately.
" Moving forward..He needs to spend at least 24 hours in our Crisis Unit until he is stable enough to go back to his other room. He will be watched by video every second to make sure he doesn't harm himself and then we can take it from there." she informed me and after I had no further questions it was duty to have me sign some paperwork to ease the process a little.
When I was finished all i wanted now was to see him..even if he remains sleeping.
" Can i visit him? You know go so he won't wake up alone?:
Cuz knowing him so well, he will freak upon waking up by himself and Lisa nodded understandably.
" Right this way." she guided, towering through the walls as I lurk into his room. I scanned the scene before me and saw a passed out Nick still restrained in his bed. He seemed flushed and sort of pale when the remnants of his battle longs across his face.
Lisa left the room explaining to me that someone will come check on him as I sat on the edge on his bed waiting for him to emerge.
A while later...I gently rubbed his leg and he stirred..fluttered awake looking slightly confused.
He noticed me next to him and his expression didn't change. He probably is not up to talking as i spoke to break the staleness in the air.
I asked him what happened and why and I informed him what will happen now, he seemed to change drastically.
Another nurse came in named Trina and checked him over. Settling into his new room i hugged him..tightly tugging my fingers in his skin....feeling like I had failed him.

When I got home, the boys were already asleep and Kristen reading a novel in our bed. She glanced at me tiredly then went back to her book.
" Hey." I came over and she didn;t even budge
" Hey..is everything ok?" she melted tearing down her walls of anger and replacing them with sympathy.
I undressed and crawled to my sacred place beside her and started to break down. Fat sleeves of tears splattered as she held me closely.
" I failed him Kristen..I really did..." I admitted and her hold grew stronger.
" No honey you didn't fail him..he just needs to find a reason to live and he will in due time so for now, just be there for him." she whispered sweetly and reminded me on how I fell in love with her.
I knew she was right but for some reason this was going to be one hell of a journey.




Nick's POV

I withdrew my self in a fetal position withering to the nothing that I am.
Thinking of Lauren and dreaming she was here with me. I spent the first few hours in Crisis pacing the room and the next few laying around hoping death would steal my soul.
A different nurse came in the room with a covered tray and a distinct smell emit from it. my stomach churned ungrateful.
" Hello Nick..I brought you some dinner." she suggested and passed the tray to me.
Sinking toward the other side wanting no one around me..I was a dangerous monster that could snap at anytime.
" i'm not hungry." I mumbled and she bent down to feel my forehead brimming wit heat.
" well it does appear that you are sick." she obviously stated..thank you for that.
" But you haven't touched your food..if you don't eat soon honey we would need to admit you to the hospital."
I growled burying myself further down...I don't feel good.
Can these people not understanding how it is for me?
Can they clearly see I just ant to die and nothing more or less.
The nurse walked out with the tray...probably downloading information of me not wanting to out anything into my body.
Kelly, her name by the way, came back in and this time she had medication.
Moaning, I reluctantly slid up to hold my hand out. Taking in three pills and a swig of water. her smile returned.
" good Nick..I will be back later to give you some food." she said sternly as I fell back against the bed when she was gone, spitting out the pills and threw them on the floor.
I should sleep i groaned hoping that would make me feel better but I doubted my resolve.
Her presence washed upon me and a playful smile danced on me. Thinking back to the day I proposed to her..wanting so bad to call her my wife. I kept those those memories in me as I swim brightly.


my hands gripped the steering on the boat as Lauren was perched nearby, questioning my motive.
" Nick where are we going?" she giggled as I pressed a finger to my lip.
" it's a surprise Boose."
Lauren untied her beautiful hair allowing it to cascade around her..sunlight quivering onto her perfect features. I had this ring for months searching for a passionate moment to envelop her my special trust.
It was a 10 caret pear=shaped ring/...I mean really big cuz she deserves nothing but the best.
I was planning on proposing to her in the Keys but suddenly a sputtering choke from the boat almost ruined the big trip and damn i was determined.
" Baby..the boat.." Lauren pointed I jumped up willing do do anything.
" Don't worry..I can fix it." as I heard her sigh.
After I got it to run smoothly again resting on the tip of the island. I held out Lauren's hand out of the boat and led her to the most lovely sot with our dogs at our ankles.
I stared delving in her eyes, still holding her hand. Five years of dating I was ready to take it to another level.
" Lauren..I love you more than anything else in the world..will you..will you marry me!." As I got down on one knee and opened the black box..revealing all my love for her.
Her excitment burst and her fingers plastering to her cheeks in shock. My smile curves wider.
" Yes!! Of course U will marry you!!" as I slip the ring on her finger ans shared an amazing kiss to my soon to be wife....


I reopened the wounds..motionless and crying as if that whole day could be reborn again.
If Lauren was not six feet under but here with me as she should be.
A shiver ran along my body as i piled the blanket on me, swinging my arms over my head.
" I love you Boose.." I sadly said and again I dream with her...waiting for me.