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" Nick, do you really have to go?" Lauren pouted as i shoved her deep into my embrace.
Leaning down and baiting my lips across her's,
loving the nectar taste, savoring every moment.
" i will be back as soon as you know it babe." I replied giving her my famous smirk as she playfully
swats my arm.
" I'll just miss you so much honey, I always love having you here with me."
I then lowered my forehead on Lauren's, sneaking up for another tender kiss and she clutches the back of my head to deepen our passion.
Buried down onto our plush bed, sheets still entangled from our dreaming and started to make such
wonderful love to her.,
Moaning my name as she spiderwebs her legs tight on my back. Pressing honestly and coiled in completely.
Panting with sweat glitter that masquerade our bodies, I pounded one last time until I finally came.
Holding her wrist hostage with my own.
We can only steal glances within a moonlight grove.
" I love you so much." I whispered glistening with pure beauty.
I never felt this happy in my entire life.
With her I feel complete and nothing could ever escape that.
Lauren pulled me in her arms and held me within her starry protest.
" I love you too." she breathed tiredly as we both lull into a wonderful sanctuary in ending day.
The next morning I stirred and noticed Lauren was already out of bed. Giggling to myself as I jumped to follow a delicious smell billowing from the kitchen.
When I reached there before her presence could wash over my own, she was wearing one of my fancy white shirts that droops along her delicate body. With a pair of her skimpy shorts that really shows off those curves. Brushing my tongue on my lips, i already knew what I wanted for breakfast.
Spilling onto her hips and melting like the cheese on the omelet she was cooking. Sinking my arms and fishing for her touch.
" Good morning baby." she exclaimed giving me a quick peck on the cheek before turning her attention nacl on the steel pan.
" Mmm good morning to you my dear." I growled in her ear as she laughed lightly. Exploring each part of her like a valuable gem. She spoke like butterflies again.
" i figured you would want a nice breakfast before you leave." she sighed, sadly saying the word leave, skywriting upon a starless night.
The bells off my hand ringed her nearer to remember her every movement.
As she finished and we sat picking through our breakfast, chatting unplanned remarks. I cleared off the dishes for her then reached for my tour bag.
She followed close by on my heels as II reached the door, my hand kindly smoothed on brass and I leaned toward her.
She fetchingly drew myself to her, planting a long kiss with tongues fighting for control.
Soon as it was daybreak, we could only mirror our faces. i stroked her cashmere face and gave her my all, promising I would call as soon as I got to my first stop.
Never believing this would be the last time I would ever see her again.....



Breathing underwater...I gasped for a fruitful air to breath and fill with with some sort of purpose in life.
Splattering myself onto a crooked rock and deserted land, i smiled a peace I longed to drive through.
My arms screaming pain, the crimson liquid speckled on me like mutilation jewerly.
I half-hoped that the guys not to find me like this but it seems to work to indulge my mind...for a little while.I didn't overdose on my meds, well not severly anyway, it sure didn't feel like I did as I take another dose and skipping my dreams away.
To help cradle this anguish that scorched me as so and remembered her as she was..so loving and caring....pretty much my other soul.
I wondered for a second how someone could take that brutally from me.
I scooped the blade up and eased it across my arms.
Even though I was shaking like a stormy tree, I faltered anyway leaving dozens of cookie-cutter marks upon my ready mangled flesh.
Glossy waves in blood trickles down and I was swimming within the pleasure. Using my shirt as a hopeless bandage.
Sighing as i swallowed back my pride and 2 more pills, easily trailing a sleepy sun. It was soon that i could reamin alone upon a marinated twilight witihin all dreams I once had.
Yea...cuz that's what it was like...
I don't know what came over me at the BBQ and surely the guys are probably doing some kind of search and rescue part to locate me.
I wish they didn't.
Closing my eyes painfully, i attempted to doze off this lunatic rampage till i heard an echoing voice vibrating off the rough walls.
" Nick!! NICK!!!!" he beckoned sounding far away but realized he will find me at some point.
Kevin.
I asked myself what made him look for me here, pounding my fist on rock hard enough to hear threads of bone shattering.
FUCK.
Immediately following a cursing agony, I let out a pipsqueak cry Kevin might of heard because his dominant voice grew louder.
" Nick!!!! Come out please." he desperatly yelled.
I curled myself into a ball..oh God he sounds scared.
Well im sure after the little stunt I acted earlier. I really couldn't blame him.
My vision seemed fuzzy from the meds and almost like a white slurpee in clouds..Manically bursting out a seething laughter.
I paused long enough to hear a crunch of footsteps arming towards me, then it suddenly stopped.
" Nick??!! Oh Jesus thank God your ok!" he abruptly said, throwing his arms over me and picked me up to carry me.
I wasn't sure how long it felt to get to his car...hours or just plain minutes, sort of relived he found me now.
He gently sat me down in the passenger seat, finger-printing meas if i was a suspect.
Yup...that is what I am..a suspect and dryly laughed again
Kevin did not seemed amused.
" Nick, this isn't funny...we were all sick with dread to where you took off to!" he bellowed and I dropped my head in bloodied shame.
He inspected one of my arms ghetto bandaged with my shirt and also the extremely swollen hand..hearing depths of his disapproval.
" let's go." he simply stated starting to drive down the twisted roads. I couldn't help but laugh and Kevin death-stared me.
" Stop laughing!" he cried
My brain was still fuzzy as I stared out the window with grey dots sparkled a lonely scene.
A distant mellow in Kevin's voice tracked as he called the others to inform them I was ok..or somewhat.
" Where we go?" I sloppily asked and Kev just glared at me.
" Hospital to make sure your ok and fix that hand of yours..I mean...how many pills did you really take" he questioned and dissolved further in my seat, checking out my arms and hand...fuck I forgot i did that.
" i dunno.." was all i could reply. Probably took more than my body could handle i thought.
When we arrived, Kevin conviently grabbed a wheelchair and drove me inside, explaining the nurse and doctor of my condition.
Plastered into a electric white room, kicking my legs back and forth till he got aggravated...we waited.
The doctor came back and wrapped up my arms and also the hand that I broke. He also required for my stomach to be pumped from all the meds I displaced into my body.
After I was discharged, he ordered me into the car and called our brothers again to meet us at Cherry Brooks Forest..whatever the hell that was.
The car ride was stuffy and incomplete..as if the words we could say was never meant.
He then pulled over along a rusty fenced gate in front of a large brick building, my brothers waiting.
What the hell as going on I snuck to myself as Kev helped me out of the car.
The guys just stared at me..not knowing how to place their blame upon me....as they all gave me a hug and wished for the best.
Now I was really scared.
" I can take it from here." he told them and guided me through the fence and up the cobblestone stairs.
My heart was taken...
You see Cherry brooks Forest was not a rehab
nor an extended vacation...
but perhaps more a mental hospital and I stopped in my tracks as Kevin turned around.
" i am not going in there." i quietly spoke, testing out my weak voice.
" Nick....you have to...you need help more than I could give you." he said hesitant, taking the blame for my own mistakes, it hurt to see the creasing sadness in his face.
" Come on little brother, their waiting for you." he finished and brought me inside.
It seemed cozy and well drawn out..like the perfect destination where you want to get away from it all.
I still didn't want to be here though.
After He checked me in, a nurse named Anne brought me to my room and gave me a run-down on how things worked around here.
The room was an eggshell white, with a bed, dresser closet and bathroom..plainly stated and I fell into the bed.
Kevin smiled over me and lifted me up for a long tight hug, promising he will bring me extra clothes or whatever I needed and also to visit me, which is every Tuesday and Thursday from 2-4.
" Take care of yourself Nicky..your doing the right thing." As he turned and left the room, silently closing the door.
I flew myself against the window, watching him leave, rubbing his big hands over his temple and sat till he disappeared away from me.
I was in jail..for the mentally insane...