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Up to No Good


Ever since Remus’s Bad Moon, Sirius had been determined to figure out the animagus thing, whether James and Peter helped or not. He was reluctant to mention it after the row he’d had with James about it and so he often got back up after the others had gone to bed and snuck to the common room to sit in the chair by the fire and read Releasing the Animagus Within into the small hours of the night. He made notes in the margins of the books, underlining bits of information with his quill, and trying to figure out exactly what it was that he’d been missing, imagining that when he found it everything would simply click into place.

It was the approaching threat of the next full moon only being a few days away that made him finally tell James and Peter what he’d been doing. “I think I’m ready to try changing into Snuffles again,” he explained, as they ran up to their dorms to get their books, leaving Remus in the courtyard in his wheelchair for them to return to head to their next class, “But just in case I want you both there when I do it so that you can change me back if you need to.”

Peter looked shocked that Sirius still thought it a good idea and he asked, “Didn’t you see the damage Remus did to himself? What makes you think he wouldn’t do that to you as a dog!”

“Well,” Sirius said, “I reckon a werewolf with a broken leg could be as fast as he normally would. This would be a good month to see what good I can do as a dog.”

James looked at Peter nervously, for the first time Peter’s worrying didn’t seem undue. “I dunno if this is a good idea, Sirius. Obviously Rey can do some serious damage when he turns moony.”

“Turns moony?” Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s how Evans refers to his Furry Little Problem,” James explained.

Sirius laughed, “Moony, I like that.”

“Yeah, I thought it good,” James nodded.

“You think everything Evans says is good,” Peter pointed out.

James flushed.

That night, when Remus was asleep, the three of them snuck from their beds, down to the common room, out the portrait hole, and down to the seventh floor corridor where Barnabus the Barmy hung up on the wall. A few turns before the wall there and they found themselves in yet another version of the Secret Room, this one seemed to be a sort of training room. “I swear, this room is the strangest place,” James murmured, “It’s as though it knows exactly what we need.” He held up a small box of dog biscuits. “Look at this.”

“Those will look rather good in just a few minutes,” Sirius grinned.

James laughed.

“Basically,” Sirius said, pulling Releasing the Animagus Within from his pocket, “If this works, the thing is that we don’t know how to call the part of us that is our animagus to the forefront. For example, I’ve been thinking on it, and sometimes when it’s quiet and I’m laying in bed and I close my eyes, I can sort of feel the spirit of Snuffles inside me. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like this part of me is Snuffles, and when I say the spell to transform, I have to say it with that part. That’s why it’s a silent spell because that part isn’t your voice, it’s deeper than that.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Peter said, “How do you say something with a part of you that can’t talk?”

“The same way you say things in your head to yourself,” James said.

“I don’t say things in my head to myself!” Peter said, “That’s for crazy people!”

“What do you think thinking is?” James snapped.

Peter looked bewildered. “Oh. Weird. You don’t think of thinking as saying things to yourself, but I s’pose you’re right, it is in a way, isn’t it?”

James rolled his eyes.

“But it’s more than that, too, even,” Sirius broke in, “It’s not like thinking a spell. I dunno. I just know I can’t stand the idea of Remus going out there alone again, especially right now with him being injured, and bloody hell if I have to wrap myself in one of the suits of armor, I don’t care, I’m going out there with him this month.”

James took a deep breath, “Alright, mate, calm down. First off, that armor is twice as tall as you are. Second, if you haven’t noticed, it’s also apparently already occupied by some spirits or something, how else would they move about like they do?”

“Dunno, but I’m desperate enough to tell whatever’s in there to shove over,” Sirius replied.

Peter looked nervous, “Do you reckon they’re ghouls in there? You don’t want to be crammed in a suit of armor with a ghoul. They’re very nasty, ghouls are.”

James shook his head, annoyed. “Peter, it doesn’t matter, he was just being dramatic anyway, bloody hell.” He looked at Sirius with an expression that clearly asked can you believe this kid?

Sirius chuckled. “You think that, but I’m ruddy serious.”

“Your Sirius-ness is exactly what I’m worried about,” Peter squeaked.

Sirius asked, “You remember the charm?”

“It’s homorphus,” James said with a nod.

“Homorphus,” whispered Peter, echoing James’s voice under his breath over and over, trying to remember the charm.

Sirius nodded, “Alright. Then here goes nothing.” He closed his eyes and the other two breathlessly stared at him, instinctively taking a couple steps back, their wands out and ready.

At first, it seemed as though nothing was happening. Sirius just stood there, as normal as ever, eyes closed, palms out. James was just about to tell him it was alright, and say that he’d given it a good go and they’d try again sometime, when Sirius dropped to his hands and knees on the floor. Peter leaped behind James to hide his face in James’s spine between his shoulder blades, “Tell me when it’s over!” he yelped as Sirius’s skin bubbled and popped and long, shaggy black fur erupted from beneath it. James’s eyes were wide as he watched, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of Sirius’s transformation, which was simultaneously terrifying and mesmerising. Sirius’s shins and knees seemed to bend the wrong way, his toes coming together into padded feet, the same as his fingers and palms. His arms elongated into front legs and his spine reshaped itself, bending him so that his torso and neck curved upward, his face sprouting into the snout and long yellowy teeth dropping beneath his black lips, long tongue lolling out the side. Within seconds, James had watched his best mate morph into the gargantuan black fluff ball that had been his family pet for the summer.

When the transformation was complete, they all stood there in silence as Peter was shivering into James’s back. “Well,” James said after a long pause had passed them by, “Hello again, Snuffles.”

The dog seemed to bow, lowering his head toward the floor. He barked and ran a quick circle around James, playfully jumping and nipping at Peter until the boy turned and looked at the dog with fright in his eyes. “That was horrible,” he said, “The way that looked - and sounded -- ugh...”

James laughed, “It was pretty bad.” He watched as Sirius ran about the room, then, smirking, he picked up the dog biscuits he’d found and shook the package, attracting Sirius’s attention. Sirius bounded over quickly, throwing himself at James’s feet. James took a biscuit out of the box and tossed it at his friend, who caught it mid-air with a terrific crunch. “Brilliant,” James said. “Now, can you turn back or what?”

Sirius-slash-Snuffles stood down before them and they waited. It had been a few minutes when James said, “Not working, is it?” he reached for his wand, but Snuffles waved a paw at him as though to say stop, so James let his hand fall to his side.

The dog’s eyes closed and he stood still, concentrating so hard that he seemed to shake and shiver, ears flat to his head. And then… one ear slurped back into his head with a pop - followed by another… they twisted and formed until they were human, and the snout started to shrink, and the paws got longer and his hocks turned back the way knees ought to go and lashes sprang up out of the eyes as the fur seemed to simmer and shorten and then…. There was Sirius Black, on the floor, on his hands and knees.

It took a second for the change to sink into any of their minds but when it did - Peter let out the first whooping scream of excitement. “YOU DID IT!” he bellowed, “YOU REALLY DID IT!”

“BLOODY HELL, MATE! YOU’RE BRILLIANT!” James ran forward, jumping up on Sirius and toppling him over onto the floor as Sirius started laughing loudly in relief and excitement. “I can’t believe you!” James cried out, hugging his friend.

“I can’t believe me either!” Sirius exclaimed, “Wow! I did it!”

“You DID it!” James agreed, nodding.

All three of them held hands and danced around, shouting that Sirius had indeed done it, their footsteps clopping and echoing about the Secret Room as they rejoiced. “You did it, you did it, you did it,” James sang out, dropping their hands to clap his palms together in excitement.

Sirius exclaimed, “You lot need to read the theory bit of the book. It makes it all very easy to understand and do. It feels so… so…” he searched for a word, then, “Freeing to be able to do it. You lot have no idea. Understanding it makes Snuffles feel… I dunno, like I’m really myself when I’m him. It’s the strangest thing! It just feels ruddy brilliant.” He looked at Peter, “Don’t chicken out, Peter, it’s worth it. I swear it. Don’t be scared of it, it feels so bloody good.”

James grinned, “I’m so proud of you, mate.”

Sirius grinned back, “Thanks.”

Ecstatic, the boys left the Secret Room and rushed down the corridor, too excited to have paused to pull on the invisibility cloak, which was in James’s bag. They were on the moving staircase when they ran into Peeves who looked down at them, spinning over their heads. “What’s got the ickle third years in such a happy mood?” he asked, doing somersaults in the air as they climbed the steps. “Tell Peevesy what you’ve been up to!”

“No business of yours, Peeves,” Sirius replied.

Peeves eyed them. “Should get Filchy I should…”

James, not wanting to get caught, said, “Peeves, really. I should think that you, of all ghosts, should be able to appreciate - and respect - those who are causing ruckus about the castle!”

Peeves looked excited, “You’re causing a ruckus?”

“Oh yes, the greatest ruckus there ever was,” replied Sirius, catching on to James’s tack as Peter looked between the two of them and the ghost with a nervous eye. He glanced down the stairs, worried that Argus Filch or his nasty cat would come about the corner at any moment. He fiercely wished James had remembered to put the invisibility cloak over them.

“How do I know you’re causing a ruckus?! I hear no ruckus!” Peeves held his palm to his ear, listening carefully.

James chuckled, “Peeves, we’re Marauders,” he said, “We’re always up to no good.”

Peeves considered this a moment, spinning. Then, holding onto his ankles and hanging upside down, he studied them, his eyes narrowed. “Do you solemnly swear it?” he asked.

Peter, James, and Sirius exchanged glances. James looked up at Peeves and, in a bold voice, he said, “Peeves -- I solemnly swear, I am up to no good.”

Clapping, Peeves turned over and over, “Oh that is fresh, that is very fresh indeed! The Marauders are up to no good! No good!” he cackled.

Peter nudged James, “Filch!” he said, pointing down the stairwell, where a crack of light on the floor below showed the approach of Filch, carrying a lantern.

Sirius looked up, “Peeves, if you want us to be able to complete our nasty doings, you’ll have to distract Filch. Do you think you can do that for us? In the name of no goodedness?”

Peeves grinned and saluted, “Peeves is the very best at distractions! For the Marauders and their no-goodedness, Peevsey will distract Filchy good and well!” Cackling loudly, the poltergeist shot over the rail of the stairwell, zipping quickly down the hall toward the light.

“Hurry!” Sirius commanded, and they ran up the stairs, Peter tripping over untied shoelaces.