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Severus

Severus Snape had always had strange dreams. They always featured mixtures of elements that didn't quite fit together and he'd be left with a funny, torn sort of feeling when he recalled them, as though he had been dreaming of two different dreams at once. Ever since he had arrived at Hogwarts it, had been getting worse.

Instead of just two different dreams, he was having dozens of them all at once, and they often got so confusing and overpacked that he would wake up and be unable to go back to sleep. Such a moment happened Tuesday night.

He awoke during the night in the Slytherin dormitory staring up at the roof of his four poster, confused because he had been dreaming about Quidditch, which was not at all like him, and not only that but at the game there had been a great squid and the squid had been handing out bottles of butterbeer and chocolate frogs while they were all under attack by a fearsome dragon. The dragon had curled its neck through the air and grabbed hold of Severus's broomstick and then --

"Ahhh!"

The boy in the next bed had awoken and, shouting, awakened Severus too, though he didn't make it known he was awake as well. He just stared into the dark while the boy panted and got up to pour himself some water from a pitcher across the room. "Only a dream, Dimitri, only a dream," he muttered to himself thickly. He drank the water quickly and crawled back into bed, the mattress springs groaning until he'd settled down and finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Wednesday, Severus was exhausted. He had barely slept at all and as a result he found his eyes were dark and sunken against his pale face, and he frowned into the mirror in agitation. He could just imagine what James Potter and Sirius Black would say about the shadows on his face when they saw him in the Great Hall. He moved his hair about, trying to block his face from the sides, figuring he could sit back-to the Gryffindors while he ate. But if he did that, he realized, he wouldn't see Lily. He wanted to see Lily and any amount of bullying would be worth it for her. It wasn't working, arranging his hair, anyway. He stopped and sighed and gave up, going down to the common room.

Dimitri Goyle and a second year boy, who Severus was fairly certain was surnamed Crabbe, were sitting on one of the long green couches under the dome of the lake that was the Slytherin common room's ceiling. Dimitri was in the middle of talking as Severus walked by. "...a great chomp and he bit onto my broom!"

Severus hesitated and turned around, standing behind the couch, his brow furrowed. Goyle couldn't possibly have had the same dream as he had... could he?

"Blimey, and then what happened?" Crabbe asked.

"Well then I woke up of course," Goyle answered, "Don't you know if you're eaten by a dragon in your dream, you die in real life?"

"Whoa, close one," Crabbe said with a shudder of awe.

Goyle looked up at Severus suddenly, as though only just realizing he was there. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," Severus answered and he turned around nearly walking straight into Lucius Malfoy. "Sorry," he said, "Didn't hear you come up."

Lucius didn't answer, instead he said to Crabbe, "I have an opportunity for you and I'd like to speak with you here, in the common room, tonight, after midnight so that no one will interrupt us." He glanced around the room pointedly. His eyes fell on Severus. “You can come, too." With that, he swept from the room in a flurry.

“What sort of meeting?” Crabbe asked.

Lucius hesitated, then, very quietly, “It’s a sort of a - uh - a secret society.”

Upstairs a little bit later, at breakfast, Severus was still pondering about the dream he had evidently shared with Dimitri Goyle and he wondered what could have caused them to have the same dream. He watched Goyle down the end of the house table, stuffing his large face with toast and bread pudding. He didn't feel as though he had anything in common with him at all.

"Sev?"

Lily was suddenly at his elbow, having snuck up so quietly that he hadn't even heard her come by. Her bright green eyes would have looked so beautiful against the emerald color of the Slytherin uniforms, he thought randomly; much better than that Gryffindor red that clashed horribly with her hair.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, a little sharper than he meant to because of the way she’d surprised him.

Lily looked surprised by his tone. “I came over to talk to you…” she replied, “It’s just that I waved and you didn’t wave back… and you look so tired. Didn’t you sleep?” Her brows furrowed with concern as she tilted her head just a little bit to one side to get a good look at him.

He shook his head to reply.

Down the length of the Slytherin house table, he could hear the other students whispering, asking each other who she was. It was so rare that a Gryffindor student approached the Slytherin table (or vice versa) that the two of them were instantly the center of attention from end to end of the table. He could feel their eyes on them. Lily didn’t seem to notice.

“Are you angry with me?” Lily asked.

“No,” Severus said in a clipped tone.

He was suddenly very sickly aware of the word ‘mudblood’ being whispered down the table and out of the corner of his eye he saw Lucius Malfoy stand up at the other end. The looks they were getting were shifting from curious to disdainful.

“Lily,” he said, panicked, “Can I talk to you later?”

“Sev, you’re acting very strange, are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.

Severus gave her a pleading look. “Lily, please,” he said, “I’ll talk to you later. Just go away.”

She looked hurt. “Fine,” she said. “I only wanted to know if you were alright, but obviously you’re quite fine over here without me.” She turned and walked away, her hair swinging with indignation. But only just in time.

“Who was that?” Lucius stepped up behind Severus, watching after Lily’s retreating back as she rejoined Alice Bell at the Gryffindor table across the Great Hall from where they were. He put a hand on Severus’s shoulder.

“Some girl I knew back home,” Severus answered vaguely.

“She’s a mudblood,” Lucius observed.

Severus nodded, “Yeah, she is.”

Lucius leaned down so that his mouth was close to Severus’s ear. “Do be careful,” he said lowly. “Befriending the Wrong Sort here at Hogwarts could have an effect on the rest of your life.” His voice was cold. “You are a half-blood; we have not forgotten, nor should you.” He stood upright, his eyes lingering on Severus’s meaningfully, and then he turned and walked away.

Severus suddenly felt chilled, as though a cup of cold water had been poured directly down the length of his spine. He looked across the hall, hoping Lily had seen that Lucius had come over to talk to him and that maybe she would understand why he’d been so short with her, but she was very purposefully not looking in his direction. Severus sighed miserably and pushed the barely-touched bowl of porridge before him away.

Lily avoided him all day. Every time he thought he’d get a chance to see her or talk to her about what happened at breakfast, she seemed to magically disappear. If he hadn’t known better, he’d have insisted she had an invisibility cloak for how hard it was to even spot her. Between worrying she thought he hated her, wondering about his shared dream with Goyle, and feeling strangely anxious over Lucius Malfoy’s warning, Severus was distracted and making stupid mistakes in his classes. For example, he managed to smash several teacups in Transfiguration, including Evan Rosier’s dormouse, which was what they’d been turning the teacups into - though that was partly Rosier’s fault anyway because his mouse was still made of china otherwise it would not have broken.

At dinner, Severus wasn’t hungry, but he went to the Great Hall anyway in hopes of getting a chance to talk to Lily for a moment, but Lucius seemed to appear out of nowhere at all and brought Severus along to the Slytherin table with him, one arm over his shoulders as though protecting him from the Gryffindors. “You’ll be joining us in the common room tonight, won’t you?” he asked.

Severus nodded, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to join them.

“I think the organization will be most… enlightening… for you,” Lucius said as they walked over to the seat that he always occupied. Narcissa Black was already waiting for them there.

“Is it that Death Eaters club you’ve been talking about?” Severus asked curiously.

Lucius chuckled, “The Death Eaters are hardly a club,” he said. “You can’t really become a Death Eater until the Dark Lord has seen proof that you’re trustworthy anyway. You have to prove yourself to him, prove your loyalty. Then, and only then, the Dark Lord may ask you to join.”

“So what is this club thing you want to talk to us about then?” Severus asked.

“Think of it as a prerequisite for joining forces with the Dark Lord, the most powerful wizard in the world,” Lucius answered. “Just come tonight and I’ll be able to explain it better then.”

Severus nodded.

They sat down and ate dinner, Severus mostly pushing his food about on the plate with his fork, stealing glances at Lily, who had sat back-to the Slytherin table as the final act of gouging the knife in his heart. As soon as he got the opportunity, Severus ran off from the meeting and down the stairs to the Slytherin common room, where he hoped to get a couple hours sleep in before the midnight meeting.

He slept fairly well during his nap, and attributed it to being alone in the dorm he shared with six other first year students. Sometimes it was just too loud in there for sleeping, he reckoned.

When he emerged from the dorm at midnight for Lucius Malfoy’s meeting, he found a blend of students sitting around on the couches and chairs, Lucius in the center of them, pacing, the only person in the common room standing up. Severus made his way to one of the couches and sat down, glancing around. He recognized Evan Rosier and Dimitri Goyle from his year. There was also that second year boy, Crabbe. Alistor Mulciber, the fifth year, and his second year brother, Geoffrey. Germaine Avery, Alecto and Amycus Carrow (twins), Walden McNair, Antonin Dolohov, and, of course, Lucius’s girlfriend, Narcissa Black.

Once they’d all settled in around him, Lucius took a deep breath. “We’re here to discuss and opportunity for all of you to begin your careers in the service of the greatest wizard who ever has lived -” he paused for dramatic effect before half whispering the name, “Lord Voldemort.”

A shiver seemed to move through the room at the utterance of the name. Several of the older students seemed to bow their heads as though in respect of the name, even. Severus looked around at them.

“The Dark Lord, as you may know, has already accepted me into his services.” Lucius Malfoy proudly rolled up his left sleeve to show the others in the dorm the Dark Mark on his forearm. Antonin Dolohov stared at it the mark with a sort of desperate, yearning expression - the way a hungry child might look at a giant pile of chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties on display in a shop in Diagon Alley. Dolohov clearly coveted the mark. “The Dark Lord doesn’t just accept anybody,” Lucius informed them. “You have to be smart and trustworthy and completely dedicated and loyal to your Master to become a Death Eater,” he explained, “You must prove yourself to be all of these things. Which is why Lord Voldemort has personally requested me to create a group here at the school, made up of students, students who would support him. It’s a sort of revival of a group he had when he was a student here, some thirty years ago… the Knights of Walpurgis.”

Another hush fell over them all.

“Joining this… club… will allow you to prove yourself worthy of the Dark Lord’s confidences. Joining this club will put you on the fast track to becoming one of those closest to the Dark Lord as he rises in power, as he takes over the world and purifies our wizarding race. Your name will be in history books for the future generations of Hogwarts students to learn about. Join this club and your name will never be forgotten.”

Severus stared up at Lucius Malfoy, his heart racing.

“This,” Lucius said pointly, eyes meeting Severus’s, “Is the opportunity to overcome your past, whatever may be lurking there.”