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Bat Got Your Tongue


“Lily!” Severus Snape had been waiting by the Potions classroom for some time for Lily Evans to come down to class. He’d been leaning against the stone wall, and stood upright the moment he spotted her coming along the corridor. “Let me get your books for you!” he suggested, hurrying over to her. Hearing him, Lily looked up from the book she’d been reading while walking.

Tarantallegra,” James Potter whispered as waved his wand from behind Lily, winking to Sirius, who snickered.

Severus instantly broke into a funny sort of dance, his legs flapping uncontrollably. “What the hell --?” He struggled to stop his legs, trying to grab onto his thighs to still them, but it wasn’t helping. Lily stared at him with her jaw dropped a bit in surprise - and then she laughed. Severus felt his face go red. “Make it stop!” he said.

“Just can’t hold it in, can you, Snape?” Sirius snickered as he passed by, headed into the classroom.

James grinned as he slipped by, his eyes sparkling at Severus challengingly as he sang, following Sirius into the potions room. “Shake it up Snapey now…

SHAKE IT UP SNAPEY!” bellowed Sirius from inside the room, overhearing James’s song.

Twist and shoooout…” James shuffled a bit, laughing.

“Stop that, Potter.” Lily shoved James in the room from his back, “Go. Leave him be.” Once James had gone through, she turned to Severus, “Finite Incantantum.” Severus’s feet stopped dancing and he fell against her, nearly toppling her over, but she managed to catch her balance and push him back up. Several other third year Slytherins slipped by, glaring at Snape and Lily as they went, raising their eyebrows as they passed, judging Severus for letting a Gryffindor girl, a mudblood no less, help him. “We’re running late,” Lily said, turning to the classroom, as Slughorn’s voice echoed out from within. “C’mon.”

“I need to talk to you, though,” Severus said desperately.

“After.” Lily hurried inside, ignoring the pleading in his voice.

Severus scowled and went in. His legs were still sort of disoriented after their frenzied performance in the hall and he walked a bit wobbly over to his seat beside Evan Rosier. He could hear Sirius Black and James Potter snickering to each other as he passed by them. He nearly tripped on his way to the chair and Evan looked up, scooting over to give Severus the closer chair, and Severus sank into it weakly, clutching the table to keep himself steady. His knees were tingling.

“....and the properties of vespa lingua?” Slughorn was asking, just as Severus turned forward to pay some attention to the lesson, trying to ignore the still snickering bullies. “Who knows the identity and the properties of the vespa lingua?” He looked about, spotted James Potter snickering with Sirius Black, and he cleared his throat, “Mr. Potter?” He turned to the chalkboard to write the answer James supplied him.

James looked up. Severus had hoped that he might not have any idea what Slughorn had been talking about, but the look of confidence on his face was clear that he did know exactly what the vespa lingua was. He slipped his wand out of his pocket and aimed it under his arm in James’s direction, then whispered, “Langlock.

Evan Rosier looked over at Severus with a smirk.

“The ve--ghhkkkk!” James choked on his tongue as it was suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth, unable to move. He gurgled stupidly around it, trying to pull it down from his mouth, his eyes watering up with the effort.

“Mr. Potter?” Slughorn asked, looking over his shoulder, chalk in his hand.

Kleeeechhhkch,” James retched.

Sirius looked concerned at James, then to Remus, who had turned around, as well as Lily and Peter in the desks ahead of them. Severus was covering his mouth, eyes twinkling from across the room. Evan Rosier and several other Slytherins were snickering, too. Sirius glowered their direction.

Severus was carefully keeping his eyes turned forward.

“Five points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter. Come better prepared next class. Now… can anyone else know what the identity and properties of vespa lingua?” Slughorn asked, looking around. “Anyone?”

Severus’s hand shot into the air at exactly the same time as Lily Evans.

“Bat got your tongue, Potter?” whispered Antonin Dolohov quietly.

Clurrrrrchhh,” James choked, glaring at Dolohov.

“Mr. Snape?” Slughorn called, “If you would please identify the vespa lingua, we’ll have Miss. Evans share with us the properties of the ingredient.”

“It’s tongue of the bat,” Severus said steadily.

Slughorn grinned, “Yes, Mr. Snape, very good. Ten points to Slytherin.” He turned to Lily. “And, it’s properties, Miss. Evans?”

“The vespa is a sort of bat with a very unique tongue, which has blood vessels that travel through papillae - which is a very fine hair - on their tongues. They use this specialized feature during feeding to absorb nectar quickly and efficiently. They can even store nectar in this fine hair for several hours as a snack. In potions, the vespa lingus refers to the harvested papillae. It’s especially absorbent, which assists potioneers in a couple of different ways - either to absorb elements of the potion being created or else to absorb elements found within the drinker.”

Slughorn blinked in surprise, “Very good. Very thorough, Miss. Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor.”

Lily beamed.

James scowled. That’d been exactly his answer. Well, not exactly his answer, he’d been about to say that it was the little fuzzies on a bat’s tongue that sucked stuff up, but it was damn close! He looked at Sirius, who raised his wand at James’s face and whispered, “Finite incantantum.”

James moved his tongue, sticking it out and wiggling it about for a second, then said, “Thanks mate.”

“No problem,” Sirius replied, glaring across the way at Snape.




“It serves you right he locked your tongue up!” Lily said later, as they were walking up to the Great Hall from the dungeons, “After the dancing hex you put on him in the corridor, he owed you one.”

James frowned, “That hex was in fun. The language lock curse was vindictive!”

Lily shook her head, “Why is it okay for you to bully him but not okay for him to bully you back?” she demanded, “Double standards, Potter!”

“I didn’t bully him,” James snapped. “We had a laugh.”

“Sev wasn’t laughing.”

“He has no sense of humor.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Bloody ridiculous, insolent little…”

James held up a hand, “Hey now! That isn’t fair!” James called after her. He paused, frustrated, “I’m NOT LITTLE!” He frowned, “And I would’ve had the answer right if he hadn’t gone and flubbed it up so your know-it-all answer didn’t get much of anything in the tank for Gryffindor, Ms. Know-Everything!” He turned and found Sirius staring at him in amusement. “Shut up,” he said, “She’s a bloody know it all.”

“And yet you fancy her!” Sirius said, laughing.

James sighed.

Severus suddenly ran by, carrying his books under one arm. James thought for a moment about hexing him again, making him trip and spill the books everywhere, but Severus was moving too fast and he mixed with a crowd before James could get out his wand.

Upstairs, Severus hustled to catch Lily before she went into the Great Hall. “Hey, wait, Lily, you said we could talk after class and then you ran out of there so fast --”

She glared at him, “Why did you language lock James for?”

“He put the dancing legs curse on me,” he pointed out.

“Yes, but you don’t always need to retaliate!”

Severus blinked in surprise, “What are you mad at me for, I didn’t start it. James Potter started it. Be angry with him.”

“I am angry with him, but I’m also angry with you. This bullying nonsense is a cycle and every time you react to the rubbish James Potter throws at you, you’re just furthering it along, making it worse.” Lily shook her head. She could tell by the sour expression on Severus’s face that he wasn’t going to listen anyway, so she sighed heavily, “What do you want anyway?”

Severus opened his mouth to answer, then paused and closed his mouth again. He shifted his weight, looking her over, then shook his head, “Nothing. Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”

Lily bit her lips and looked around. Honestly, she knew what it was that was bothering Severus. It was what had happened the other day, when he’d said those nice things, practically told her he fancied her, and she’d run away. She hadn’t know what to say then and she still didn’t know what to say now, either. But she spotted Sirius and the other three were coming up the steps, helping Remus along. “C’mon. Over here.” Lily grabbed Severus’s arm and tugged him into the small room off the Great Hall.

He rubbed the back of his neck and skulked by the door, his arms crossed.

“The other day,” Lily said, quickly getting to the point, “You said some lovely things to me. Things that were… were very nice to hear, but…” She paused.

“But not from me.”

Lily shook her head, “No, Sev. Not from you.”

He pulled his hair around his face to hide the tears that were blurring his eyes. “Why?” he demanded as he started pacing in short little turns.

“Because you’re - you’re you, you’re Severus,” Lily said, “And I love you a great, great deal but I don’t know if I could ever love you… like that.”

“But I love you like that,” Severus pleaded.

Lily felt her heart break for him. But she didn’t want to lead him on, either. She put a hand on his hand. “I’m sorry, Sev.”

His eyes were desperate. “But - but what can I do to - to change it? There’s got to be a way. Some way to make you - to make you love me back.”

Lily shook her head, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop it!” Severus said, his voice trembling. “Don’t say it like that. Don’t say it like you pity me for it!”

“But I feel bad.”

“Don’t feel bad for me. Don’t. It’s not the first time I’ve been disappointed or not been good enough for someone.” Severus shook his head.

“It’s not that you aren’t good enough --”

“Right.”

Lily cried, “You’re a very nice boy, Sev, and you’ll be a very good boyfriend for somebody someday -- just -- just not me!”

Severus shook his head.

Lily thought a moment, “Maybe that one girl… what’s her name? With the lovely blonde curls?”

Severus made a face.

Lily sighed, “Sev…”

“Just leave.”

“But Sev…”

“Go. Away.”

So she went.