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The End of Term Party


Remus curled himself up on his bed, back against the headboard, a book across his lap. He stared down at it very hard. It was Valentine’s Day all over again, as he was trying to ignore James and Sirius getting ready to go meet their dates. Sirius, of course, was going with Marlene McKinnon, and James had managed to talk a third year Hufflepuff girl - Shirley Cross - into meeting him there. Even Peter was going, though he wasn’t going with anyone, just to enjoy the party. “They’ll probably have loads of great sweets there,” he said to Remus, trying to talk him into going, “Are you sure you’d rather stay up here, alone in the dorm?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Remus replied, not fancying going anywhere that would be nothing but a grand excuse for Sirius Black to slobber all over Marlene McKinnon’s face in public. He’d much rather read all night and pretend there wasn’t a party at all.

Sirius was staring in the mirror, messing with his hair, as James polished his glasses and Peter laced his trainers. When they were all ready, they stood in a row by the door, looking back at Remus, who didn’t even glance up. “Bye Rey,” called Peter in a friendly tone. Remus nodded and half-waved. Sirius ducked out the door without saying anything at all and James sighed and looked back at him, “If you change your mind, you know where the Great Hall is,” he said.

Remus nodded, “But I won’t. Bye, you lot.”

The moment the door closed, Remus sighed and laid back on the cushions, closing his eyes.




The Great Hall had been decorated with Ravenclaw insignias in honor of it being them who had won the House Cup. The walls were lined with buffet tables and the center of the Hall reserved for dancers. The three boys snuck in through the wide doors and looked about, getting an idea of the lay out. Peter spotted the table of food and rushed over - the food was officially his date, it seemed. Marlene McKinnon and Shirley Cross were waiting in two different directions so ames and Sirius looked at one another. “Well, good luck mate,” Sirius said.

James nodded, “Thanks. You too.”

They split up.

As James walked across the room toward Shirley Cross, he looked around for any signs of LIly and Severus Snape, but he couldn’t see them. He stepped up to Shirley and smiled as he approached her, “Hey there,” he said awkwardly, and he smiled and stuck out his hand for a handshake.

She stared at it a moment, then laughed and shook his hand, “Hey, James.”

They chatted, mostly about qiuidditch and how much he enjoyed playing chaser over seeker, and she started telling him about the gobstones club she was a part of and he nodded and answered at all the right places, but he wasn’t really paying as much attention as he should’ve been.

Lily and Severus met up in the Great Hall. She was wearing a white dress that hung just to her knees that was covered with a white lace, and Severus’s jaw nearly fell off when he saw it. He hurried over to her, “Wow, Lily, you look amazing,” he said.

She blushed and smiled, “Thanks, Sev.”

He tried to kiss her again, like he’d done the last time they’d talked, when he’d invited her to this thing, and she dodged it again the same way. He looked disappointed when he pulled back from pressing his mouth to her cheek but before he could say anything, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the Great Hall. “C’mon,” she said, “There’s loads of snacks and drinks. We better get in there before Peter Pettigrew eats them all.”

Severus didn’t seem to fully get the joke - well, not being in Gryffindor, he wouldn’t, would he? She thought - but he followed after her anyway. Emmaline Vance was just inside the door, looking frustrated, not able to find her date, who was supposed to be meeting her and she caught LIly’s wrist as she entered the Great Hall, asking if she’d seen the boy. While they were talking a moment, Severus went to get a couple cups of the punch and he came back a moment later with it and held one up to Lily, sipping his own.

Lily stared at the cup a second, “I… thanks.” James Potter’s voice was going through her head as she stared into the punch. Ask Severus about it. See what he has to say for himself. She swallowed her nerves and looked up.

“Something the matter?” Severus asked, their eyes meeting.

Lily shook her head.

Emmaline spotted her date and she ran off to go see him, so Severus took Lily’s hand and guided her across the room. A few people had started dancing, though most were hanging about in little clusters talking. Dumbledore was there and he was humming and waving his finger about to the music, seeming to quite enjoy himself as he chaperoned over everyone with a smile. The passed James Potter with Shirley Cross on their way through the crowd and James looked at Lily as she went by, but she couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his face was so unreadable. She’d never seen him look like that before. Usually it was that arrogant stupid grin with that one tooth… but he turned away, back to Shirley, before she could get a good idea of what he was thinking.

Severus came to a stop by where the Slytherin tables usually stood and they stopped and he looked around, “Not a lot going on, is there?” he asked, disappointed sounding. “Other than talking and those two gits there dancing --” he nodded to the corner where Sirius Black was spinning Marlene McKinnon and laughing as she caught onto his jacket, nearly toppling over when he stopped, “-- there’s nothing else.”

“Well everyone’s mingling,” Lily said, “That’s what people do at parties.”

Severus shrugged and sipped his cup of punch, “I’m not much good at parties.”

“I s’pose you’ve got to be a very social person to enjoy them, really,” she said. Lily looked down at her cup, wondering… Her pulse quickened and she glanced at him.

Severus raised an eyebrow again, “Lil, are you sure you’re alright? Don’t make me get into that pretty head of yours.” He smirked to show he was joking.

Lily hesitated, “Sev --”

“Yeah?”

She took a deep breath. “I dunno if it’s working out… between us.”

He stared at her.

“I’m sorry.”

Severus shook his head, “No, Lily, you don’t understand. We’re perfect together, you and I. We always have been. We’re… we complete each other. I know it’s been a little while since we’ve really gotten to be together like we used to… being in separate houses… but it’s nearly summer and that means long days by our pond.”

Lily sighed, “Severus, I think we’re perfect together… as friends.”

“Lily, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you,” he begged.

“Severus, you’re fourteen. You’ve got loads of time to fall in love with some other girl, someone who’s going to love you back. I’m not the right person, Sev. I’m never going to feel the same way you do. You’re my very best friend in the whole world and I couldn’t ever not love you in that way, but Severus, I don’t love you the way you want me to.”

He had great big tears in his eyes and they slipped down slowly across his face. “Lily you dunno what you’re saying.”

She handed him the cup then. “Don’t I?” she asked pointedly.

He looked at the cup, then up at her. “What?” Severus’s face paled just a bit.

“The past five months, Severus,” Lily said thickly, “Were they a lie?”

“No,” he said. “That’s why I know you’re wrong now. We’ve been so good and now suddenly --”

“Did you give me amortentia?” she asked point blank.

Severus stared at her, dumbfounded.

“James Potter claims that you have been,” Lily explained. “Have you?”

“No,” his voice sounded uncertain.

Lily felt very cold. She’d expected a definite answer - a strong no, a denial, a rebuttle saying that James Potter didn’t know bloody anything - but instead his voice wobbled and Lily felt the pit that had opened up in her stomach the night James had come over to her in the Great Hall open even wider until it was practically a canyon. A lump rose up in her throat, “Severus,” she said in a warning tone.

He closed his eyes, and his voice came out a bit guiltily, “Lily, I --”

Lily felt a flash flood of anger fill her up. She took a couple steps back from him, shaking her head. “Bloody hell, you did do it.”

“Lil -- let me explain --”

“No.”

“Lily --” he took a step toward her.

“NO!” she yelled and she shoved him. Severus stumbled back a couple steps, the punch spilling on his arm and chest and onto the floor. Some splattered onto her dress, staining it in patches of red. Lily’s eyes welled up. “You never respect me,” she said to him, “Crawling in my mind, poking about for yourself, clouding it up with potions to make me think I want to be with you…”

“Lily c’mon --”

“No, Sev! Maybe I was wrong, maybe you aren’t my very best friend. Maybe you’re just very, very selfish.” Tears were stinging her eyes, “I trusted you.”

He stepped toward her again, arms outstretched, and put his hands on her shoulder, “Lily you can still --” but she was beating his hands away with hers frantically.

“Get your hands off me!” she said and her voice rang loud through the Great Hall, echoing off the ceiling, having caught the pitch to the room just right, it seemed to magnify and several people looked over at them as she slapped his arms away from her, “Don’t touch me!”

“Lily, stop it, you’re making a scene,” Severus hissed.

She turned away, her mind racing, suddenly quite unable to breathe. It felt like the whole of the Great Hall was caving in on her, and she rushed for the door. Severus followed after her, his shoes slapping the floor loudly as he raced across the room. “Leave me alone, Severus!” she yelled at him, tears pouring over her red face.

Severus continued to follow her, “Lily wait,” he bellowed.

Then Sirius Black appeared out of nowhere, blocking his path, “She said to leave her alone, mate,” he said firmly.

“Get out of my way, you imbecile,” Severus snarled and he drew his wand threateningly.

Sirius snorted and drew his own.

Lily had reached the doors of the Great Hall and suddenly someone caught her elbow and, thinking it was Severus Snape, she whirled about, ready to strike. But it wasn’t Severus that had her elbow, it was James Potter and he looked very concerned.

“Evans,” he said.

“Potter, not now.”

“I just saw what happened and --”

“I said not now,” she replied, wrenching her arm away, “I haven’t got the emotional capacity to put up with your arrogant bragging about how bloody right you were about him, alright? I just can’t handle that right now!” She was hysterical. “So go bloody brag to somebody else that’ll listen and just leave me alone!” She turned and ran for the door, so dizzy she could hardly stand it. She needed fresh air.

“But Evans --”

Suddenly Severus came ‘round the door, followed by Marlene and Sirius (who was covering his mouth with both hands). Severus ran past James after Lily onto the grounds, and James followed him.

“LILY!” Severus shouted to her. She was at the bottom of the steps but when she heard his voice, she ran. “LILY WAIT!” Severus was desperate sounding, “Please!”

LIly balled her fists and moved as quickly as she could over the grounds, stumbling on the dirt path that cut through the grass, winding off from the castle. She could hear Severus following after her and the breeze from running stung the tears in her eyes, but she didn’t slow down, wanting to lose him. He kept up alright, though, to her surprise and soon they were approaching the darkness of the edge of the grounds, Hagrid’s hut looming off to the right, and she knew the only way she was going to lose him was if she took refuge in the trees of the forest. So she ran for them, her dress skirt fluttering out behind her as she went.

“LILY PLEASE STOP!” Severus shouted.

But she didn’t. She broke through the trees and she ducked under branches that grabbed at her hair and tried to snag her dress as she hurriedly stumbled away from the path, hoping he wouldn’t know which way she’d gone once she’d got into the dark. She wished she’d worn a darker color, something that would’ve blended more with the brush she was trying to seek refuge in. She jumped over a fallen log and under another large branch.

Lily could still hear Severus shouting, calling her name, but it was getting further away and she knew she’d thrown him off her trail, but she still didn’t dare to stop, her heart was thundering in her throat, she felt so betrayed. Distracted by her thoughts, she lost her footing and she dropped to her knees in the bracken and leaves and her skirt pooled around her. Moonlight broke through the trees overhead, perfectly lined up so that it seemed to point down at her like a spotlight. Lily covered her eyes and began to cry in earnest, unable to hold the emotions back any longer.

There was a sound behind her in the brush and she stiffened, afraid it was Severus Snape. Her face screwed up tightly, “Please, go away,” she cried thickly, lowly, just loud enough so that she thought he could hear her. There was a pause and the sound stopped and she hoped that he’d listened and silently snuck off. She didn’t want to see his face, she was just so angry.

Then there came another sound, closer. “I said go away!” she said firmly, and she turned around to admonish him, but the words were stoppered and her heart seemed caught in her throat.

Lily Evans could scarcely believe her eyes.

It had to be joke, a mirage, a dream, something...

She stared, breathlessly, as still as he possibly could be, afraid to scare it off...

Standing behind her, at the edge of the clearing, tall, chestnut brown, with a tall rack of antlers pointing into the sky, and the softest eyes she’d ever seen, stood a stag.