- Text Size +
Lily


It was two o’clock in the morning when Lily awoke suddenly from a dream. She laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, where the trail of moonlight cut the darkness, trying to reorient herself with where she was. In her dream, she’d been in the Forbidden Forest, riding on the back of a beautiful stag. The stag had been warm and large and a comfort to her, such as she’d never felt before. She didn’t know where they’d been going or why they were running through the forest, but she’d been completely at peace with the beast itself, certain that so long as it was there, she was safe. She hugged the blankets to her chest and breathed deeper the crisp air of autumn.

There was a sound out in the common room that jostled her awake again. She realized that the sound had probably been what had woken her up to begin with and wondered what it was. She rolled out of bed and pulled on her robe, stepping into some slippers, and snuck from her bedroom to the top of the stairs that led to the girls’ dormitories. Peering over the edge, she saw a figure just stepping through the portrait hole -- it was one of the first year boys.

“Of course it is,” she whispered angrily. “Skiving off somewhere…” Ruffled, she hurried down the steps, determined to stop them because they were certain to be caught and lose a bunch of points for Gryffindor id she didn’t catch up and make them come back and go to bed. Lily’s footsteps were practically silent as she rushed to catch the common room door before it fully closed and she peered into the darkness beyond the portrait hole. She saw no one there in the corridor.

She hesitated, afraid that she would be caught out in the halls, but realized quickly that she could simply say she’d been trying to find a teacher to alert. She crawled through the hole and moved quickly down the stairs after the boys, angry they were causing such trouble.

For the hundredth time, she wondered why on earth she’d been saddled with such terrible classmates. Why couldn’t she have been a year older and been in Alice Bell’s year? The Gryffindor Second Year was full of such interesting and intellectual people, even the boys were kinder. But no, Lily Evans was stuck with James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter as her classmates. She rolled her eyes in the dark and scurried along.

She heard footsteps ahead and she hurried to catch up, sure they were one of the boy’s - probably Peter’s, as he seemed the least stealth of the four of them, and the most likely to do something stupid to be caught. They were nearly to the entrance hall, and she worried that in all that distance heading back to the common room would be nearly as dangerous as going on forward because somewhere in that big old castle lurked Mrs. Norris and Argus Filch, just waiting to get them all expelled. She imagined what Petunia would say if she were to be expelled before Halloween! How let down her parents would be!

Suddenly, they were at the grand staircase and Lily heard the steps creaking and was about to rush down after them and reveal herself when she spotted, at the foot of the steps, Albus Dumbledore. She jumped back behind the banister, thankful for the darkness that filled the first floor corridor and had kept her hidden, and ducked down to watch between the rungs. On the stairs, she realized, was only one figure and - surprise caught in her throat - it was only Remus Lupin, not the other three.

Of all of them, she would have least expected this sort of behavior from Remus.

And now there he was, about to be caught by Dumbledore. She wondered if Dumbledore would give him detention or simply send him off on the next train to London? Would Dumbledore be furious at him? She pictured what it might be like if the headmaster shouted and chills ran along her spine - Dumbledore didn’t seem like the type who would be very pleasant when they were angry. She waited with baited breath, scared of what would come next, and very much afraid that she might be caught, too, if that moonlight shifted too much.

“Good evening, Remus,” Dumbledore said. The sound of his voice and the cheerfulness of his tone surprised Lily and her eyebrows stitched together.

“Hullo, sir,” Remus answered.

Dumbledore was leading Remus across the entrance hall now, toward the great doors, his hand on Lupin’s shoulders, guiding him along. “You do remember how to get in, I assume?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.”

Dumbledore smiled. “Very good,” he said, and his beard looked silver in the moonlight. “Very good, my boy.” He opened the doors to the castle, allowing even more moonlight in, and Lily had to move to keep herself from being lit up in the corridor, her heart pounding rapidly against her ribcage. “We shall see you again soon, Mr. Lupin,” Dumbledore’s voice said. Lily couldn’t see anymore from her new hiding place, but she heard the doors close and Dumbledore relocked them, muttering a spell as he replaced enchantments he must’ve broken before.

Then, a most terrible sound, Dumbledore was climbing the stairs!

Lily held her breath, being very careful to stay crouched in the darkness beside the suit of armor she’d chosen as her cover, and pressed herself as tightly against the wall as she could do. But it was no use. Albus Dumbledore came to a stop directly in front of her. She looked up at him, her eyes pleading him not to expel her for being out of bed, and she had the excuses already building in the back of her throat.

“Miss Evans,” he said quietly, “I shall keep your secret… if you will keep ours?”

Lily took a moment to process what he was saying. She wasn’t in trouble? As long as she kept it a secret she’d seen Dumbledore let Remus Lupin out of the castle? That was easy enough! After all, who was she going to tell that would care about such information? She nodded eagerly.

Dumbledore smiled, “Very good. Now pip-pip, off to bed with you.”

Lily leaped to her feet and ran back to Gryffindor tower, her heart racing, still afraid of meeting Mrs. Norris or Filch, but she didn’t pass another soul - not even a ghost - all the way up to the tower.

“Wrackspurt!” she called to the portrait as she approached and the Fat Lady swung open with a yawn. Lily rushed through the common room, up the stairs to the dormitories, and into her bedroom, which she was very pleased indeed to see. That had been her first, and, she decided, her last venture through the portrait hole during forbidden hours.

She turned herself over in bed and sank into the pillows in relief. She would’ve fallen asleep except the moment she closed her eyes she began to wonder what the secret was that she was keeping, exactly, and whether, really, it was the sort of secret that really ought to be kept…



Next morning, Lily had decided that she wouldn’t be breaking any unspoken deals with Dumbledore if she asked Remus himself what she’d overseen. She planned to find out exactly what the secret was that she was keeping - she felt that she deserved at least that much as secret keeper. So she went to breakfast in the Great Hall, intending to pull Remus aside and demand details from him. But when she arrived in the Great Hall, it was to find only three of the four Gryffindor first year boys at the table.

Remus didn’t show up at any of their classes, either, nor at lunch.

At dinner, Lily kept stealing glances at James and Sirius, who were bewitching their potato jackets to dance about on their plates while Peter clapped excitedly, quite amused by their little show. Lily wondered if the boys knew about Remus’s secret.

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, Lily cleared her throat. “Potter.”

James was so surprised by the sound of Lily’s voice calling her name that he nearly dropped his wand, causing the potato jacket to flip backwards onto the floor at his feet. Sirius laughed heartily as he ducked to retrieve it. “Are you talking to me?” he asked.

“Is there another Potter around here?” she asked pointedly.

James grinned. “Good point,” he drawled in a cocky voice. “I’m the only one.” He winked.

“Where’s Remus?” Lily asked.

James stared at her, still rather in disbelief that she was speaking to him on purpose, and he felt Sirius kick him in the shins under the table, reminding him to actually speak. “I - I don’t know,” James stammered. “The hopsital wing, I think.”

“The hospital wing?” Lily repeated.

“Yeah. The hospital wing.” James turned red.

Lily’s eyebrows furrowed, “Is he sick?”

“Yeah,” James said.

Sirius was grinning ridiculously beyond him.

“What from?” Lily questioned. He hadn’t seemed sick at dinner Sunday night, nor when she’d followed him along the corridors to the entrance hall.

James shrugged.

“Something chronic, we think,” Sirius spoke up quickly, leaning around James. Peter was pointing his wand at the potato jacket on his plate, trying to make it dance like the others had done, but with no luck. “It’s the same as last month, we figure,” Sirius added, turning to Peter to show him how to hold his wand correctly to cast the charm on the potato.

Lily had forgotten that Remus had been missing for several days the month before, too.

James hadn’t stopped looking at her, but Alice Bell arrived at the table then, and Lily turned to talk with her and Frank Longbottom, who eagerly took the empty seat beside her. Alice was going on about the newest Broomstick Boys single she’d heard on the radio the evening before. Finally, he turned back to Sirius and Peter and they got back to their antics.

Later on, while Alice and Frank were discussing subjects they were learning in their second year Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, Peter nudged Lily. She looked at him, “What is it?”

“Do you fancy him?” Peter asked.

“Fancy who?” Lily asked. “Frank Longbottom?”

“No,” Peter said, shaking his head, “Remus.”

Lily shook her head, her nose scrunched up. “No, I don’t,” she said. “I’m just curious, that’s all.” The last thing in the world she wanted was for some kind of stupid rumor to start that she liked Remus Lupin or any of the Gryffindor first year boys, for that matter. Severus would go positively crazy at the thought.

“Oh,” Peter said, turning back to Sirius and James as they goofed around across the table.

Lily sighed and turned back to Alice and Frank, driving the thought of Remus Lupin and his secret out of her mind. After all, it didn’t really effect her, whatever it was.