- Text Size +
Extra Credit for Herbology


Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled.

Where were you?” the Minister for Magic demanded of him. “As Death Eaters attacked the village at the foot of your school, as He Who Must Not Be Named’s followers destroyed the lives of dozens of people within minutes, just outside the gates of your school -- I ask you, Albus. Where were you?”

Moody’s eyes averted.

Dumbledore smiled. “My dear, you know as well as I that an old man has many secrets.”

“You weren’t in your office. This I know for the moment we got wind of the incident, I sent Antonia Creaseworthy through her portrait to find out if you had gotten wind - to be certain the school was protected… only to find that not only were you not in your office… but… you were not in the school at all.” Eugenia Jenkins’s mouth was quite pinched.

“Had the Death Eaters begun an assault on the school, Madam Minister, I assure you wholeheartedly that I would have returned in a moment’s time. However, as it is, I beg of you to recall that I am the headmaster of Hogwarts school - not of the village of Hogsmeade. Where were your aurors?”

“Where were they indeed?” Eugenia demanded, glaring sideways at Moody. “It seems I was missing quite a number of my aurors last night, Mr. Dumbledore. Alastor Moody. Fabian and Gideon Prewett. Kingsley Shacklebolt. Just to name a few.”

Dumbledore barely blinked.

“Albus, my point is that you abandoned your post, and left a great deal of lives unguarded…”

“I do beg your pardon, Madam Minister, but they were hardly unguarded. I appointed a very fine deputy headmaster to look over them while I was gone - and for but a few hours, might I add.

“Even so, the level of attention being given these children is hardly living up to what they ought to be given. No discipline is being given! September 1st, I’m ordered to the Hogwarts Express, stopped not even an hour out of London, all the windows smashed in from a dragon-bomb! Complaints from the Mermish about a levitation charm used on the Giant Squid, who in turn has complained previously about Filibuster Fireworks being dumped through the drainpipe! Flying motorbikes stolen from your little Muggle museum… Reports of children dueling dark wizards! And now, tonight, just now, I’ve approached the school to find Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black here engaged in a terrific fight. Right on the front steps of the school!”

Dumbledore looked from Remus to Severus, a curious expression on his face.

Both Remus and Severus were about to jump in with their explanations to Dumbledore when the Minister for Magic said, “While I am aware that such circumstances under the Dumbledore stead here have previously gone unpunished, or lightly punished at best, you’ll be answering instead to the Ministry for Magic. For fighting on the school grounds, you will each serve one week of detention.”

Remus’s jaw dropped. “A week?”

“Yes, a week.”

She turned to Dumbledore. “Albus Dumbledore, I am very sorry, but as of this moment, you may consider yourself to be relieved of your duties as the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

“YOU CAN’T SACK DUMBLEDORE, YOU STUPID TWIT!” Sirius shouted, angry, “YOU CAN’T!”

Dumbledore was staring at her with wide, sad eyes, which he turned to Sirius at the outburst, and said, “Mr. Black… please.”

“What?!” he demanded, then he looked at Remus and Lily and even Severus. “They can’t! Can they?” he turned back to Dumbledore, “They can’t -- you can’t be sacked! That’s not -- you’re -- you’re you!”

Lily looked near to tears.

Dumbledore shook his head, “I apologize, Madam Minister, for everything that must transpire over the coming time.” He turned to Remus, who stared up at him with terrified eyes -- after all, in the absence of Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts School, his secret beneath the full moon was at highest of risk… Dumbledore smiled and reached out a hand to put heavily on Remus’s shoulder. “You will all find that I have never fully left the school - something which the Minister for Magic would recall, too, if she paused for but a moment in her tyrant rambling to think…” he shook his head, “Ah Eugenia, the things fear drives us to do.”

She held her chin straight and high.

“I’ll return.”

The whole room was suddenly filled with a thick smoke, as though someone had thrown a filibuster smoke bomb. It enveloped them, filled their lungs, and everyone there began to cough loudly as the smoke hung in the air, obscuring their vision… The Minister clawed at the air, “Dumbledore! Albus! Don’t you dare!”

But as it cleared - it was clear, the Headmaster was gone.

Sirius couldn’t believe the headmaster had actually left.

Remus reached for his pocket to pull out his handkerchief as he coughed and he yanked the square cloth out and as he unfolded it, something fell to the floor at his feet…

He bent to pick up whatever it was, still coughing, not seeing what had fallen… but the Minister was far quicker. “Accio bag,” she hissed, and a cold sensation went through Remus’s spine as his heart clunked to a stop and he realized what it was that had fallen out.

Sirius closed his eyes, his mouth moving in a silent ‘fuuuuuuck’ as he, too, realized it.

The Minister looked at the little rolled joints in the bag, her eyes wide with surprise. She looked at Remus very, very crossly, and she held up the baggie. “Mr. Lupin,” she said smoothly, “What is this?”

Lily’s jaw dropped - even Severus looked shocked as he glanced at Remus.

Remus stared, “I… they’re… it’s… it’s a bag… of… of cigarettes,” he muttered awkwardly.

“They’re marijuana cigarettes,” said the Minister, her eyes bright with accusation. “Where did you get them?”

Remus had no idea how to answer. He didn’t even really know where Sirius had got the bloody things… he felt especially uneducated about drug paraphernalia. His mouth had gone completely dry.

“Mr. Lupin, drugs of any sort will absolutely not be tolerated on the grounds of Hogwarts for any purpose,” the Minister said thickly. “Are you aware that possessing or using drugs or alcohol on the grounds of the school is punishable by expulsion?”

Remus looked up at her.

“It’s mine.” Sirius spoke quickly. “I - I slipped it in his pocket. Just now, on the way up here. I… I sort of panicked and I dumped it off my person. I didn’t want any trouble. Remus had no idea it was there. I’m such a dolt.”

Remus looked at Sirius.

“And where did you obtain the drugs, Mr. Black?”

Sirius thought for a moment - he couldn’t very well say he’d got it in Hogsmeade. After all, he’d gotten it while running amok off the grounds with his mates, using an invisibility cloak that could get Charlus in Trouble for giving them, so they could go changing into illegal animaguses, stay up all night smoking stolen pot and drinking stolen firewhiskey… Yes, the truth was far apart from what he could say.

So he fabricated quickly.

“I… I grew it.”

A very long pause occurred in which Remus covered his face with his palms.

“You grew it?” Eugenia responded, laughing at him.

Boldened, annoyed by her laughing at him, he said, “Yes.” A challenging smile spread across his mouth. “A bit of extra credit for Herbology, you might consider it.”

The Minister looked quite perturbed.




James and Peter were in the dormitory when the door opened and Remus came running into the room to fling himself upon his bed, face down on his pillow, highly emotionally distraught. Sirius followed, a bit slower, a pale, seasick sort of look to his face.

“Oi, where in hell have you lot been? We went out to see if we could find you after lunch and you weren’t anywhere to be found. We’ve only just got back!” James exclaimed.

Remus didn’t answer.

Sirius was standing before his school trunk and he’d opened the lid and James watched as Sirius reached inside and withdrew the textbooks inside and put them on the fallen chair. “There’s all our books, Moony,” he said thickly.

Remus didn’t answer.

James got exasperated. “Will one of you lot please tell me where you’ve been?”

“The headmaster’s office,” Sirius said numbly.

“To see Dumbledore?”

“Well… yes and no… You see, Dumbledore’s been sacked.”

WHAT?!?” James exclaimed, sitting up, and the snitch, which he’d been playing a bit of catch-and-release with, escaped, zooming off across the room. “What do you mean sacked?”

“I mean sacked, as in the Ministry is going to appoint a new headmaster, as in he’s gone. Left the school. Because he wasn’t here last night during the attacks.” Sirius went to the nightstand and took the motorbike magazine he had laying there from it and reached down to get his slippers from beside the bed… He lifted the Snuffles collar from the drawer and put those things all into his trunk… then turned to collect things that were laying on the floor where the desks ought to have been at, if they weren’t permanent sticking charmed to the ceiling… He put that all into his trunk, too…

James said, “They can’t sack Dumbledore - not really… can she? Doesn’t it go through a board?”

“It apparently did already,” Sirius said. He closed the lid of the trunk and lifted his leather jacket pu from where it was hanging, folded over the end of his four poster. He stared at his scarf, about to put it on...

James was scowling.

“Sirius, why are you packing your trunk?” Peter asked, the only observant one in the room.

The question made Remus let out a grunting sob.

Sirius licked his lips, hesitating, worrying the scarf with his hands as he stared down at it, “I… I’ve been expelled.”

The words hung in the air.

“Excuse me?” James said. “I’ve heard you wrong.”

Sirius shook his head, “No. You haven’t. I’ve been expelled.”

As though to be proof of the words, a crack echoed through the room and there before them stood the wrinkled old house elf of Number 12 Grimmauld Place - Kreacher - and he looked up at Sirius with a flap of his long ears, a sneer on his face. “Kreacher has been summoned to carry a trunk to my master’s home.”

“Yes, Kreacher,” Sirius murmured, his stomach turning at the idea of it. “There it is there.” He waved his hand at the trunk, freshly packed and Kreacher didn’t ask any details, he simply grabbed hold on the trunk’s handle and clicked his fingers and vanished once again.

Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat, “Someone ought to get a load of house elves and market themselves as Moving Specialists, ‘ey?” he forced an awkward laugh, “Effortless, that was…”

“You’re serious,” James breathed, staring at the spot where Sirius’s trunk had stood moments before.

Sirius was so serious that he didn’t make his joke.

Peter’s jaw was dropped, his eyes wide.

James stood up, “No, you can’t be serious. You can’t. You’re fucking with us!” he shouted, suddenly panicking.

Remus had his ears covered, his hands clutching his head, his breath coming in deep, choking breaths that caught in his throat and rocked his body as he hyperventilated.

Sirius shook his head as he dropped the scarf to the floor and went quickly over to Remus, and sat on the edge of his bed, placing his hand on Remus’s back. “C’mon, Rey, it’ll be alright…”

“N - no, no.. It won’t, it won’t! They - they can’t send you to that -- horrible place -- your parents… they’re Death Eaters… Sirius, I can’t -- you can’t -- you’ll.. They’ll…” Remus choked on the words, on his air, on the wetness of crying as tears poured down. He sat up and clutched onto Sirius’s shoulder, “Don’t go.”

“I haven’t a choice, Moony.”

Remus held onto his arm tightly, his fingers digging into Sirius’s flesh. “Please.”

Sirius hugged him with his free arm, “Rey, I’m sorry.”

“How did this happen?” James asked.

“There was a duel, on the front steps,” Sirius explained, “Remus and Severus…” he let his voice trail off. He still didn’t want James to know the full details… so he left them out, “And the Minister arrived. She was coming to sack Dumbledore anyway - for not being here to help with the Death Eaters in Hogsmeade, says he’s inadequate because he left the school and there was an emergency and -- and we were brought to the office for punishment for the duel and she - she found the - the cigarettes.”

James closed his eyes. “Bloody hell.”

“Long and short of it, I’m expelled.”

Suddenly there was a crack and Kreacher had returned. He stood on the center of Sirius’s bed. “Kreacher has been ordered to transport Master Sirius back to the Noble House of Black,” the old elf croaked.

“NO!” Remus cried. “No - don’t go - don’t take him, please. Don’t --” and he scrambled to keep hold on Sirius as Sirius stood up. “You can’t --”

“Rey…” Sirius looked at Remus with sad eyes, “Please. Don’t make it harder.”

Remus stared up at him, “But… but I’m scared. I love you. I’m scared.”

Sirius nodded, “I am too.” He bent forward and kissed Remus.

Kreacher’s round, bulbous eyes widened and his ears flattened with confusion and disapproval.

“I’ll see you soon, okay?” he murmured, and he pushed Remus’s hands off him. Remus let go, his breath shallow as he stared at Sirius… watching as Sirius crossed the room, headed for Kreacher. “Stay out of trouble, Prongs,” Sirius said to James, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…”

“Is there anything you wouldn’t do?” James asked.

Sirius smirked sadly. Then he looked at Peter, “See you Wormtail.”

“B - bye,” stammered Peter, wildly nervous looking.

James bit his lower lip.

Sirius reached out a hand for Kreacher’s and he looked about the room, “Write me.”

He only just got the words out before CRACK!

Kreacher had gone - Sirius with him.

There was a long and horrible pause that filled the silence after they’d gone. The three Marauders sat in it, none of them knowing what to say.

Then -- “He’s left his scarf.” James said, picking it up from where Sirius had dropped it.

“Give it here,” begged Remus, and James handed the scarf to Peter, who handed it to Remus, who instantly pressed the bulk of it to his face.