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Puffer Fish and Salamander Toes


Maryrose was sitting at the Hufflepuff table for breakfast when suddenly a hand slipped in front of her face, holding a paper bird with flapping wings… James closed his fingers around the bird… and reopened his palm to reveal it had disappeared, leaving nothing but a puff of smoke the exact shade of pink as her hair. Maryrose laughed and turned around to look up at him. As James dropped onto the bench beside her waved his wand and the paper bird fluttered out from under her hair. She laughed again and caught it in the air before her. “How’d you do that?”

“I’ll never tell,” he answered.

She unravelled the folds of the bird and found he’d written her a note.

You’re pretty. Let’s hang out later.

She looked up at him and smiled, “You’re such a prat.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked, munching his toast.

“On one condition.”

“Name it,” he answered, sitting backwards on the bench, his elbows on the table, toast in one hand, glass of pumpkin juice in the other. Hufflepuffs all along the table were looking at him and whispering, wondering what James Potter was doing at their table acting as though he belonged there… one foot up on an empty spot on the Ravenclaw bench opposite the aisle he faced. The Ravenclaw girl closest to his trainers glanced at him and then back to the table, whispering to her friends in disbelief at James’s audacity.

Maryrose ran a palm over his arm, “Well, we have to talk. It can’t be just a giant snog-fest.”

“Talk?”

Maryrose nodded.

“Why?” James’s nose was crinkled.

“Because it’s important.”

“Important?”

“Mhm.” She smirked at the look of confusion on his face.

“About what?”

“Anything,” she answered, “About you. About me. About us.”

James looked as though she were asking him to explain advanced runes. “Whatever for?”

“Have you never had a conversation before?”

“Loads. We’re having one right now, for example.” James smiled his most charming smile. The one he reserved just for such occasions as needing to impress people..

Maryrose wrinkled her nose, shook her head, “Not exactly, no. We’re speaking, not having a conversation.” She chuckled and patted his head, “You’re cute you think it’s a conversation, though, Potter. Conversation is getting to know each other better. And frankly if you want to keep snogging with me, then you’d better be interested in getting to know more about me.”

“Alright,” James said.

“And I’m interested in getting to know more about you, too, Potter.”

James chewed the last of his toast.

She stared at him, waiting for an answer.

James stood up, putting his empty glass on the table. “Well, for starts, don’t call me Potter,” he said. “I really hate that. There’s only one person on the planet that calls me that that I don’t secretly cringe every single time it’s said, really. I have a first name. It’s James. Please call me James. Or Prongs if you feel adventurous, but I am in no way responsible for it if Sirius overhears you and makes highly inappropriate jokes as a result.” He stared down at her for a moment before, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Sirius, Peter, and Remus across the Hall, headed for the door for the first class of the term… “For now, I gotta go. But I’ll see you later?”

Maryrose smiled. “Okay. Bye James.”

He pecked her cheek, “Bye Love,” and he turned to run off after the other boys… pausing a few steps away, “Oi, Maryrose?”

She looked up.

He held up his hands so she could see his palms, grinned, rubbed his hands together and opened them up to reveal a second paper bird, which he blew on and caused it to flutter across the distance between them before perching in her hair. He winked and turned away, running off.

Maryrose reached up to her hair and pulled the little paper bird down and opened it up.

Astronomy Tower. 8pm.

“Prat,” she whispered, but she smiled and tucked the note into her pocket before getting up to go off to her own first class of the term, a couple of her friends running over eagerly to see what he’d written her.




Severus Snape was leaning over his potions textbook, muttering and scribbling notes in the margins, his long black hair greasy as ever, tapping the back of his head with his wand as he thought. He looked up when the door to the Potions classroom opened, the shift in the air from the hallway making the smoke from his cauldron blow his direction. Professor Slughorn looked pleased, so he dared to turn about only to find it was the Marauders coming in the room, and turned right back to face forward quickly, keeping his head down.

He scowled at the book.

But he couldn’t help but keep stealing glances.

James threw himself into his usual seat, followed by Sirius Black, the murderer, who leaned his chair back, his feet up on the desk and laughing loudly at something James had just said. Severus saw the shining prefect badge on Remus Lupin’s chest and he rolled his eyes. Like any one of those boys deserved to be prefect!

The other Slytherins arrived then, carrying their books and cauldrons and taking their seats. Evan Rosier sat down at the desk beside Severus… And then there came Lily. She took a seat at the front, a three-fer with Remus and Peter Pettigrew. Severus watched as she was getting on talking to Remus. He caught a few errant words here or there - it sounded like she’d shown the first years to their DADA class just now and was complaining how complicated Hogwarts was, which had Sirius Black leaning forward in his seat, his feet falling off the desk.

Evan Rosier was sneering over toward the Marauders, too. “Can’t believe they let them again away again,” he muttered under his breath.

Severus turned around.

“Black and that ridiculous puffer fish of his. Bleedin’ Fenrir, having to put on a show of it, coudln’t just get on with it…” he glowered across the room. “If it was me that was in charge, they’d never have walked away.”

Severus didn’t say anything in reply.

“Cos of them and that bleedin’ Moody my dad’s in Azkaban,” Rosier said. He turned back to the front, running his palms over the desk. “I’d like to kill the lot of them.”

“Go on then,” Severus said coldly, his voice level. Evan Rosier hadn’t been there, he hadn’t seen what had happened at Number 12 Grimmauld Place. It was the Dark Lord’s theatrics just as much, if not more, than Fenrir’s that had cost them the kill. “He’s right there, Rosier. You have your wand. Go on and do it.”

Evan Rosier glared at Severus.

“Coward,” Severus murmured under his breath. “That’s all you are. The same as all of the others.” He turned back to his textbook.

Evan Rosier pushed his chair back to stand up and for one equally glorious and horrible moment, Severus lost his breath, thinking Evan Rosier was going to do it as he reached for his wand pocket in his robes… and then Horace Slughorn came in the room and walked up the aisle behind Rosier and Evan Rosier sat down roughly with a sneer, his chair squealing across the cold stone floor. James Potter looked over at the sound and his eyes met Snape’s, who was still staring over… James reached up and pretending to be adjusting his glasses, but it wasn’t lost to Severus that he was actually just making a rude gesture… James smirked at him, then turned back around.

Severus wished that Evan Rosier had done it… wished he’d killed the lot of them.

The potions class itself wasn’t horrible. Slughorn had them doing some more advanced things and Snape was doing quite well, modifying the recipe as Slughorn had written it on the board to do a few shortcuts that saved him time so that he was finished before anyone else in the class - except Lily Evans who was just spectacularly efficient and had finished her potion in record time. Slughorn was marvelling over her cauldron across the room and Snape was looking at his book when --

“Ohhh… whoops!” James Potter had feigned tripping and accidentally thrown a couple salamander toes across the aisle separating them and into Snape’s cauldron. The potion inside turned from the pale lavender colour it should’ve been to a sickly green.

Severus dropped his book onto the table top before the cauldron, his heart racing as he tried to spoon the salamander toes out but they were so tiny that several had already sunk below the surface, and even so - the potion was already ruined. He turned and glared at James.

“Sorry mate. Accident. Didn’t mean to.” James said, “Ooh - didn’t like that, did it? That doesn’t look appealing at all.” He cringed, then grinned.

Severus’s upper lip curled, “You did it on purpose, you sodded little imp!”

James laughed, “Sodded little imp, am I? Are we in first year again then? What sort of insult is that, you great prude?”

Severus reached for his wand - and so did James.

“Abbbbbsolutely no fighting in this classroom!” Slughorn shouted, coming over. He remembered the duel in third year, with this very class.

“He’s started it,” James said, lowering his wand instantly.

Severus still had his leveled at James’s face, “I started it? You and your salamander toes --”

“I tripped!” James scoffed. “Can’t blame a person for tripping.”

“There’s a crack, right there, in the floor,” Sirius pointed out helpfully.

Slughorn looked at the crack, “So there is! Reparo.”

Severus glared. He knew it hadn’t been an accident. That crack had nothing to do with why those salamander toes had ended up in his cauldron and he could tell by the smirking grin playing across Potter’s damned mouth that he knew that crack had nothing to do with it, as well. His eyes sparkled behind those stupid wire glasses of his and Severus wanted nothing more than to slap them off of his obnoxious face and hex the bloody hell out of him.

“You’ve plenty of time to start over,” Slughorn told Severus. “I’ll give you a bit of extra time, too.” He smiled as though this made up for it and waved his wand, emptying Snape’s cauldron. “You be a bit more careful, Mr. Potter. Of course now that the crack’s been repaired there, it shouldn’t be any problem.” He smiled and patted James on the back.

“Yeah, no problem,” James replied, “Blimey, though, nearly stopped my heart, tripping like that… Thought I was going to be hurt. Lucky your cauldron broke my fall. Pity about the salamander toes, though. I really am sorry,” he added as Slughorn walked away, pleased the two boys were getting along again...

“You will be,” Severus murmured.

James smile never faltered. He turned back to his own potions station and leaned over to whisper in Sirius Black’s ear.

Lily was looking back over her shoulder, gathering up her books since she was finished and had been excused, her eyes taking in the commotion, looking at James with suspicion and then to Severus, who miserably started recollecting his ingredients from his kit to start the potion over. Lily shook her head, thinking them both to blame, and turned to leave.

A half an hour later, Remus Lupin was finished and Slughorn had dismissed him. He put his books in his bag… Evan Rosier raised his hand quickly for Slughorn to come and look at his potion. Slughorn had just finished inspecting it and dismissed Rosier as Lupin was headed out the door. Rosier quickly gathered his things and grinned at Snape, winking, “I’ll get them back for you,” he hissed and hurried out into the hallway, too.

Severus kept his eyes trained on his textbook.




Remus hurried along the corridor toward the stairs up to the Entrance Hall - looking over his schedule and a copy of the first years’ schedule, too. He’d told Lily he’d see to it that they got from the Defense corridor to the Transfiguration wing before he himself headed off to Muggle Studies with Sirius. His trainers echoed off the narrow walls as he moved through the flickering torch light that illuminated the dungeon hall.

Suddenly a whispered spell hit him in the back, sending him falling forward, his shoelaces tied together, tripping him up and making him land face-first on the floor.

“First day on your new feet, then, Puffer Fish?”

Frustrated, Remus reached for the laces on his trainers and untied them from one another. “Leave me alone,” he said in as strong a voice as he could muster. He grabbed his stuff from the floor. “I’m a prefect now, Rosier, I’ll give you a detention.”

“Aw, too bad I’m a prefect, too. Prefects can’t give each other detentions.” He grinned.

“I’ll tell Professor McGonagall and she will give you a detention,” Remus said, and he stood up and started for the stairs again, trying to keep his chin level and not to show how much the fall had actually hurt his bad knee.

Rosier laughed, “I ain’t afraid of that old bitch.”

Remus turned around. “Don’t call her that.” His voice was firm.

“Oooh. Upset you did I?” Evan grinned, “What’s an angry puffer fish like? Do you know any pretty spells? Maybe one that casts a rainbow?” He laughed.

Shaking his head, Remus set his jaw and walked away. Evan Rosier’s laughter echoing along the hall after him. This was why he didn’t want Sirius to be hanging all over him about the halls. This was sure to only get worse if they all knew… He wiped his eyes and ran up the stairs, out of the dungeons, thankful for the crowded hall upstairs, and hurried along to the Defense corridor, where he waited for the First Years to come out.

“Are you okay, then?” asked Macy Struthers, having one look at Remus and knowing something was wrong the way that girls do.

Remus nodded, “Yeah… yeah I’m alright. How was your class you lot?”

“Professors Gideon and Fabian - that’s what they said to call them - they’re brilliant,” breathed Darcy McIntire.

“Yeah, they’re like WHOA!” said Dexter Cardwall.

Wally Grant waved his wand like a sword, “I could take on You Know Who myself now I reckon! They showed us some great spells!”

“Yeah? Like what?”

Expelliarmus!” yelled Wally.

Remus’s wand barely twitched in his hand. Wally looked disappointed. “Here,” Remus said, and he reached over, “Look, hold your wand a bit closer to the end like this… tighten your grip… and see, the motions like this…” he guided Wally’s hand through the air, “And really announce the word out. Ex pelli arrr mus,” he said, drawling it out and moving Wally’s hand again. He stood upright and backed up. “Alright. Try again.”

Expelliarmus!” Wally shouted.

Remus let go of his wand at just the right moment. The force of the spell wouldn’t have been enough, honestly, but when he released his grip it flew across the hall and into Wally’s hand and Wally’s eyes widened in surprise and excitement.

“Whoaaa,” whispered Dexter. The others clapped excitedly.

“See?” Remus said, taking his wand back with a smile, “I’d recommend a bit more practice before you go chasing after Voldemort, though.”

The first years shivered at the name.

“Alright you lot, come along… You’re about to sit a class with the most brilliant professor in the school,” he smiled and waved them along, guiding them to the Transfiguration room, where Professor McGonagall would be waiting - a slight limp to his gait from having hurt his knee when he fell.