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The Password


Filch shoved James into his office roughly, his fist balled around the back of James’s oxford shirt, which was messy, and he had a leaf stuck up in his hair and dirt across his face. “Out of bed after hours,” he muttered, grabbing one of his offense cards from the other side of the table, and his quill, scribbling across the card with a bottle of scarlet ink, “Sneaking off into the Forbidden Forest, which is strictly off of limits…”

“Reckon that’s why they call it that?” James asked. “Forbidden?”

Filch looked up at him, glaring, eyes narrow, his old jaw quivering. “Showing cheek!” he added this to the list of offenses.

“Oh come now, I’m just asking a question,” James said with a chuckle. “You’re really going to add cheekiness to my permanent record?”

Filch’s hand shook as he wrote out the details of the card - the date and time and all - and James laughed. “Bloody hell, you’re ridiculous old man.”

Angry, Filch slapped the table, making James jump. “I AM NOT RIDICULOUS!” he shouted.

“Bloody hell, I’m sorry,” James hadn’t expected that reaction. He blinked in surprise at Filch’s glaring eyes.

Then… “What is that?” Filch looked at the map James was still clutching, along with his wand.

“That? That’s my wand, sir,” James answered, quickly folding the map.

“No. No, that parchment. Let me see it.”

“It’s just a spare - notes from class - it’s --”

But Filch had reached across the desk and snapped it from James’s hands, laying it across the desk, his eyes widening hungrily. “It’s a map!” he exclaimed, “A map of the school!” He looked up at James, his eyes very suspicious. “And - and you can see people on it!?”

James forced a laugh, “Of course not! It’s a bit of rubbish from Zonko’s…” James lied weakly.

Filch’s finger pressed to the page, “No - look, see here, here we are! In my office! And Mrs. Norris, too! And --” A wicked grin crossed his lips and he stood up and quickly crossed the room and wrenched open the door.

Remus Lupin tumbled in, having been trying to listen through from the other side. He sprawled across the floor, having not expected the door to open then, and his wand rolled from his grasp and he looked up at Filch, red faced. “Hullo,” he said lowly.

Filch grabbed him by the back of the robes, tugging him to his feet, and slammed the door shut behind him so hard the chains hanging on the walls of the caretaker’s office rattled. He shoved Remus into the second chair before his desk and greedily clapped his hands, “Two of you! Two of you! Yes, yes, blimey this map does come in handy, dunnit?” He grinned down at it, “Oh the students I’ll capture with it!” His eyes were bright with rapture.

James shivered. This was exactly the opposite of the purpose for the Map’s creation! Their masterpiece had become a curse in the wrong hands!

Filch pushed the map aside, though, keen on filling out Remus’s offense card before he studied the map too much - after all, the permanent records of his students’ offenses were very important. “Out of bed after hours,” he began, “Listening at doors…”

“Wait!” Remus cried.

Filch looked up.

“Prefect. I’m a prefect!”

Filch’s eyes narrowed. “So what?”

“So as a prefect I’m given clearance to be in the halls if I’m doing prefect’s duties and I was - I was following James Potter to catch him at his misdeeds!” Remus’s voice shook with uncertainty even as he said it. He was a terrible liar. But Filch was terrible at telling when somebody was a terrible liar, so they just stared at one another for a long moment - Remus trying to keep his face straight, Filch trying to decide if Remus was lying or not…

James glanced at the map, then back at Filch and Remus, who were eyeing one another still, and slowly...James reached up and slid the map down from the edge of the desk while Filch was distracted. He folded it discreetly and shoved it in his pocket.

“So you see, I’ve already assigned James a detention and - and we were on our way back to the common room. You can’t assign him a second detention, that’s just silly. He’s already being punished enough for what he’s done.”

James nodded eagerly.

Filch eyed them. “Fine.” He snarled. He looked at James, “I catch you out of bed again boy and I’ll bloody hand you by your ankles over the Black Lake in the dungeon and let the Giant Squid tend to you.”

“Sounds exciting,” James said, “We’ll make it a date.”

“More cheek!”

James got up quickly as Remus glared at him. “Goodnight, Mr. Filch,” Remus said levelly, and he grabbed James at the elbow and pretended to yank him from the room. “I’ll see to it Potter gets deposited back at his dorm.”

“Yes… yes, you best,” Filch muttered, and he rubbed his stubble-covered chin as he watched them leave the room.

James hissed, “I got the map.”

“Bloody hell that was close,” Remus commented, “We’ve got to figure out a way to keep that from ever happening again. That map needs to be protected.”

“I agree.”

“Now hurry up before he realizes you’ve stolen it back and comes after us or something,” Remus commanded and the boys ran down the hallway as fast as they could.




Sirius and Peter were sitting up waiting. Sirius was on James’s bed and Peter on his own; they’d dragged Peter’s night stand before them and they had a game of wizard chess set up. Sirius was frowning down at it, as he had been for some time. Peter had him cornered - there was no move Sirius could make without losing the game and he hated that, so he sat studying the board instead of admitting he’d lost to Peter Pettigrew.

“Wlli you just end it already?” Peter asked, “We both know you’ve lost.”

“Not yet I haven’t,” Sirius said.

“There’s no other moves available!” Peter whined. “I’ve beat you.”

“Not yet you haven’t,” Sirius said, flushing.

Peter sighed.

The doors burst opened and Remus and James came running in, panting and Remus bent forward and clutched his knees and shook his head, “Bloody hell,” he gasped.

Sirius turned quickly, accidentally knocking the board off the nightstand, sending the pieces flying all over the floor, “Are you lot alright?” he asked at exactly the same time as Peter yelled, “Heyy!! Cheater!” but Sirius ignored him. “You look as though you’ve been running for ages.”

“All the way from Filch’s office,” gasped James.

“Filch’s office? You got caught out of bed?” Sirius asked, kneeling on James’s bed as Peter sourly bent to pick up the chess pieces from the floor, muttering about Sirius being a sore sport.

“Yeah, but we’re good, no detentions or anything, thanks to the brilliant Messer Moony,” James grinned.

Remus fake bowed, “Messer Moony and his magical little prefect badge,” he clarified.

James laughed, “Absolutely brilliant.”

Sirius asked, “So -- so wait, how’d it go with Evans? What happened? Did you snog her or what?”

“Well - no - not exactly, no,” James said, and so he and Remus took it in turn to fill Peter and Sirius in on everything that had happened - about Maryrose and the break-up, and Lily’s stag feed (Remus carefully left out the bit about Lily Evans’s dream, however, deciding to keep that bit a secret for now) and seeing Maryrose on the map about to be caught and Remus’s brilliant save.

“So wait Filch’s seen the map?” Sirius asked, panicked.

“Oh nooo,” moaned Peter, “But now he knows where all the passageways are!”

“I don’t think he studied it long enough to see that,” James said, “He spotted Remus pretty quick and he got distracted writing out offense cards and I stole it back before he could see it too much. But you know he’ll be looking for it.”

Remus nodded, “He’ll be making us turn out our pockets whenever he sees us trying to get it.”

Sirius scowled, “Ferfuckssake!” he sighed and shook his head, “Bloody Filch!”

“What do we do?” Peter asked.

“I reckon we’ll have to be more careful with it, keep it out of sight…” James said.

“Well what if he does a search of the dorm?” Peter asked, paranoid, “What if he finds it and confiscates it?”

“It’s ours, he can’t have it,” Sirius snapped. “I’ll bloody hex him before I’ll let him take it! The old squib!”

“Alright, calm down you lot,” Remus said, “I - I think I have an answer, I’ve been thinking on this awhile now and it’s just a poor matter that I hadn’t brought it up already. We got lucky.”

“What is it, Moony?” asked James.

Remus cleared his throat and went to the squat bookshelf, searching for the text he’d found the the spell in… “We password protect it.”

“Password protect it?” Sirius asked, looking up from the map, which James had unearthed from his pocket and now lay across the foot of Potter’s bed.

They gathered around it and Remus opened the book, flipping through it. “I was inspired last Christmas, when Evans gave us that invisible ink - remember that?”

“Yes, but invisible ink can be made visible really easily - and if you reckon you’re going to redraw this bloody masterpiece all over in ink you can’t even see, you’re mad, you’d never be able to do it right - it’d be ruined and --” Sirius was panicking.

“No, Padfoot, I’m not going to redraw the thing.” He held up the book to the page he’d intended. “This spell -- it makes a parchment porous, meaning ink sinks into the paper. The parchment drinks the ink until you give it a password and then it reveals itself. The password can be any word or phrase the user desires, assigned at the setting of the spell, and cannot be changed once it’s set. Only those with the password can reveal the ink on the page. Any other attempts will set off preset alternate displays of the caster’s choice.”

“Bloody hell,” Sirius whispered - all his anger for Moony abandoning him earlier was forgotten - “You’re a ruddy genius.”

Remus grinned.

“That is rather excellent,” whispered Peter, still clutching the chess pieces in his fists.

“I vote we make the parchment insult Filch - call him a stupid old bastard squib if he tries to steal our map again!” Sirius announced.

“Well how would we do that?” James demanded.

“An insulting charm,” Remus said quickly.

“More genius from my boyfriend!” Sirius exclaimed and he hugged Remus about the head and kissed him in his hair enthusiastically.

James looked over Remus’s shoulder at the spellbook and then he looked up at the other two, “What do we make the password?”

“Something easy to remember,” Peter said nervously.

“But not easy to guess,” added James.

“Something with meaning,” agreed Remus.

They all paused, thinking, trying to come up with just the right word for the job… and then Sirius’s eyes twinkled as he looked up. “I know. What is the one thing that we must say every time we go out, it seems? The one thing that helps us get through the castle unhindered?”

The others looked at him.

“Whenever Peeves catches us…” Sirius said meaningfully, “We always have to tell him --”

And then all four of them grinned and spoke the words at once:

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”