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He's a Werewolf (Prongs)


“So what happened with you and Lupin?” James asked Sirius as the boys headed down to the Herbology lesson. He kept glancing back to be sure Remus wasn't following along behind them, afraid his questions would anger him. “Did you, er, find out the truth about you-know-what?”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah. He seemed really… anxious.”

“Well, I mean. Wouldn't you, being asked if you were a -” James stopped mid-sentence, “Er, thing?”

Sirius shrugged, “Sure. But it's not like we're going to tell anyone or that anything changes between us, right?” He sighed, “I just felt bad for him. I wish there was more we could do for him, like a way to make it easier.”

James laughed, “Make it easier being a werewolf? Are you mental? If we went any place near him when he'd changed the only thing we'd make easier is being a snack he doesn't have to hunt for!”

They went on down to the greenhouse and joined Peter at the table by the window. After class, only Peter was surprised that Remus wasn't at dinner or up in the Gryffindor common room. When they went to bed that night, Sirius couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt, laying in his bed, watching the full moon out the high windows of Gryffindor tower. He wondered where Remus was and if he was safe and warm out there in the cold winter night.





Remus looked a mess when he returned two days later, worse than usual. Sirius, James, and Peter were in the common room, along with half the Gryffindor house, when Remus stumbled through the portrait hole. He was obviously taking great care in attempting to be quiet but his steps were wobbly and he very nearly fell over. Sirius leaped to his feet to grab hold on him and hoist him up, as did James on the other side. As the other Gryffindors looked on with a sort of wide-eyed fascination, the pair of them hastened to bring Remus up to the dorm. Peter scrambled after them.

Upstairs, James followed Sirius's lead in helping Remus into pyjamas. "What happened?" Sirius asked in concern, eyes wide as he looked Remus over.

James was horrorstruck by the cuts and bruises on Remus's legs and arms. He hadn't noticed before the silver-pink glare of scars that marked Remus's skin, but seeing him closer like this, James realized there were actually many. Blood oozed thickly from a cut across Remus's temple. "We need to bring him to Madam Pomfrey," James said.

Peter was staring, wide eyed from his bed, "Was there a fight?" he asked. But none of the boys answered him.

"Pomfrey can't help, she can't heal werewolf bites," muttered Remus weakly. He figured there was no use in tiptoeing 'round the subject; they knew what he was, he might as well just be honest about it now. He was shaking so hard he couldn't button his pyjama top, so Sirius quickly did the buttons up for him.

Remus watched Sirius's fingers as they wove the pyjama buttons into their holes; it was the kindest thing he'd had done for him in quite some time.

"Werewolf bites?!" Peter's voice was shrill, "That's a werewolf bite?!"

James's voice trembled, "You - er - you saw another... one?"

Sirius looked horrified, "Were you attacked?"

Remus shook his head as he struggled into bed, "In a manner of speaking, I suppose... I attacked myself." He couldn't fix the blankets, so James did it, tucking them 'round him carefully.

"You're a - a - a werewolf?" Peter stammered, voice shaking with nerves. "But you - you shouldn't be in school - the law -"

Remus gently touched the cut by his temple and winced at the pain of it. "I know all about the laws, Peter, as they're to blame for my condition in the first place."

"But you're dangerous!" Peter squealed, "An XXXXX rated magical creature, according to Fantastic Beasts!"

Remus stared down at his hands, the tips of his fingers bloody from touching the cut, as Peter said this and James spotted a tear glimmering in the corner of Remus's eye.

"Shut up, Peter," said James.

"But he could bite any one of us!" Peter said, frenzied.

"Peter! Shut up!" Sirius barked.

Remus covered his face with his palms and his shoulders shook as be started to cry. "Oi, see what you've done?" Sirius snapped at Peter. 

James went to the water pitcher on the table by the door and dipped a handkerchief from his desk drawer into the water. Carefully, he turned back to Remus and gently pressed it to the cut on the side of his face. Remus lowered his hands so James could clean the wound.

It occurred to him that no one else in all his life had been as kind to him about his condition as James and Sirius were being right now.

"Why did you attack yourself?" Sirius asked.

Remus said, "It's just a part of it. There's just so much violent energy and its got to be spent off some way, and I'm alone out there. If a werewolf has no distraction, he'll attack himself."

"Doesn't it hurt?" Sirius asked, "Why wouldn't you just stop when it hurt?"

"Yes but rationality is not exactly a werewolf's strongest attribute, you know," replied Remus.

James had wiped the blood off Remus's face as best he could and he put the cloth down on the night stand. Peter looked at it with disgust and a bit of fear, crawling backward, away from it, as though the cloth itself was diseased. James looked over at him with an expression of distaste.

"I still don't understand," Peter stammered from the farthest corner of his bed, "How you are at Hogwarts! Werewolves aren't allowed at the school."

"Dumbledore made special arrangements," explained Remus.

Peter shook his head, "It wouldn't be up to only Dumbledore! It would be a legal matter, the Ministry would never allow it. They'd see your name on the registry and -"

"I'm unregistered," answered Remus.

"But the law! Newt Scamander passed it in the 40s! We learned about it in History of Magic!" Peter cried, fearfully, "You have to register!"

"My father didn't register me," Remus replied.

"But he's a ministry official!" Peter argued, "He should know better!"

"He wanted a better life for me than what the law allows!" Remus said, "He didn't understand - he didn't know - what it was like to - to live with Lycanthropy before. He tried to repeal the act but it didn't work, alright? He wanted better for me but I'm bloody well not any better for it, am I?" Remus's voice was hot with passion, "I'm just a freak and everyone ought to be afraid of me, the awful terrible werewolf, ought to be exiled! Ought not to be allowed to have friends or anybody who cares about me, huh?" Tears stung his eyes.

"I'm just - I - you just -" stammered Peter, "It isn't safe!"

"Forget it!" Remus shouted, "Just forget it. Go tell everybody in the school if you want to, I don't give a damn!"
br> Peter fell backwards off his bed, then scrambled for the door. James hastened to grab Peter's arm to stop him. "We aren't telling anybody!" said James harshly, glowering at Peter, "And if you know what's good for you, neither will you."

"Yeah, Remus," Sirius said, "We aren't going to tell anybody.

Peter struggled against James's grip. "But he's a werewolf," he whined in a small voice.

"Nothing's changed," Sirius said, "If Remus was going to attack us he would've done it by now, wouldn't he? He's been a werewolf all along and you haven't been attacked yet!"

"But you can catch it, I heard, just by being near --" he looked at Remus apologetically, "--one."

"Rubbish!" exclaimed Sirius. "Right?" he added, turning to Remus.

Remus nodded, "You have to be bitten by a werewolf, on a full moon. He has to be turned, and the bite needs to be quite deep or the venom won't take. More people die of werewolf bites than are turned..."

"That last bit might not be helpful in calming him down mate," said James.

“The point is, Peter, he's not putting any of us in danger being here. Dumbledore's in on it! You'd have to be daft to think Dumbledore didn't think it all through and know exactly how to keep everybody safe! Right Remus? You wouldn't hurt any of us! Right?”

Remus said, "If I ever hurt anybody, I - I wouldn't be able to live with myself ever again." He frowned deeply. "It's my greatest fear, what I am, what I become."

Peter relaxed in pulling toward the door and James let him go and the four of them sat there 'round the dormitory in silence a moment. "Hang on," Peter said suddenly, looking up, "Is that why you've been disappearing every month? To go change into a werewolf?" His eyes were wide.

"Yeah," Remus answered. "Dumbledore has a safe place I can go, where I can't get back to hurt anybody, and it's worked alright. It's lonely, but that's better than hurting someone."

Peter nodded.

"Is it scary?" James asked.

Remus shrugged, "Before I understood what it was that was happening, when I was small. It was scarier then. I know what to expect now, know what's going on. It's just - well, it hurts. A lot."

"I'd think so, look at these cuts and bruises you've got!" said Sirius.

Remus shook his head, "Not even including them, the actual turning hurts. It's murder! You get all rigid and your spine changes and your bones feel all jelly-like and they start stretching in ways they shouldn't and your skin gets bubbly as the hair grows out and -- its quite horrible."

James was pulling a face from the floor. "Sounds horrible!" he agreed.

"And that isn't even the worst of it - the worst is when you lose your mind." Remus's eyes were unfocused, he stared blankly at the foot of his bed, utterly sad. "You just forget who are and you feel all... all empty and you're so angry and lost that the only thing left to feel is hatred and violence."

Sirius shook his head, "Sounds like a dementor."

"Dementor?" squeaked Peter, "What's that?"

"Guards at Azkaban. They're awful. They're like great black ghosts, like death himself, and they suck all the happiness out of you," Sirius replied. "My cousins used to tell ghost stories about them at family reunions. To scare the younger kids. They thought it was right funny, giving us all nightmares." Sirius shook his head. 

"They suck happiness out?" Peter asked, his voice awestruck and wobbly with fear. "How?"

"Its how they eat," replied Sirius. And suddenly it seemed as though he'd realized the fun his cousins might have had in telling their stories. He got up from where he'd been sitting, perched on Remus's desk chair, and waved his fingers menacingly as he approached Peter, arms raised up over his head, "They glide through the night, silent as your breath, their cloaks rippling through the dark... They get up real close to you," he was leaning within an inch of Peter's face, "And then they inhale it in..." Sirius took a deep, rattling breath, "...pull it right out of you..." Another deep breath, staring right into Peter's eyes, "And, if you've been sentenced for the ultimate punishment they'll - they'll kiss you."

"K-k-kiss me?" Peter whimpered.

"Come off it, Sirius, we gotta sleep in the same room as him," James said, pulling Sirius back by his cloaks, "Don't scare him, he'll be up all bloody night."

"Yeah, they'll kiss you," Sirius said darkly, backing off of Peter and returning to his perch on the desk chair.

"There's no dementors here," Remus said to Peter, "They aren't going to kiss you."

Peter hugged a pillow, "What happens to you if they do, though? Does it kill you?" He looked to Sirius for an answer.

"Worse," Sirius said.

"Worse?" gasped Peter.

"Oi, Black, it's you whose sopping up Peter's bedclothes after he's soiled them if you keep it up," warned James.

"A dementor's kiss sucks out your soul," Sirius finished dramatically.

"Sucks out my soul, whoa," muttered Peter under his breath, quite terrified looking.

Sirius tipped the chair back so it leaned on only two feet and plopped his legs up on the end of Remus's bed. "Like the lads say, though, Peter, there's no dementors 'round here. They'd never allow them at Hogwarts. They only go for the really bad guys, they're under ministry control off at Azkaban. You've got nothing to worry about." He waved his hand at Peter dismissively. 

Remus shook his head.

"Just was saying that's what changing to a werewolf sounds like to me," Sirius finished.

"Or like being imperiused," James agreed.

Remus, who'd been about to take a sip of water, choked quite loudly and spluttered water all over. All three of the boys looked up at him, worried. "Imperiused! That reminds me! Blimey - how could I have forgotten? I talked to Bilius the other day, before I left, and he was telling me about his fight with Malfoy.... He reckons Malfoy's been imperiusing Tutman!"

Remus explained the whole story as Bilius and Derek had told him - frequently punctuated by outbursts of shock and awe from Sirius. When he finished, all four of them sat silently for a moment, each considering what these new revelations meant. James looked 'round at them. "Should we tell McGonagall or Dumbledore what we know?" he asked.

"Bilius says he's tried and they think he's bonkers," replied Remus.

"Well what if Malfoy's got a plan to get the Dark Lord here to Hogwarts and Tutman's key?" James asked.

Remus frowned. "I mean we don't even know for sure what is going on, I think until there's more evidence they aren't going to take anybody seriously about it. If they aren't listening to a sixth year, they'll never listen to first years."

James nodded, "So we need to find out what's in that prefect's toilet."

Sirius nodded, too. "Tonight," he said.

"Hang on, what? You want to go off down to the dungeons tonight? To break into a toilet?" Peter was quite astounded.

James nodded, "With the invisibility cloak."

"We've got to! It's the only way to prove Malfoy is up to something!" Sirius exclaimed. He looked at Remus, "Are you up to it, though?"

Remus hesitated. He wasn't, really, but he knew it was important to act on the information as quickly as possible, and he was the one who'd witnessed Malfoy and  Tutman in the first place. "If I rest until then I should be alright," he answered, nodding.

Sirius looked around. "How about you, Peter, are you in or are you out?"

Peter swallowed back his nerves, then, "In," he squeaked nervously. "I'm in."

"Alright," Sirius said. "Then we go to the dungeons tonight."