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Are You In Or Are You Out?


“I hope you lot are quite happy with yourselves.” Lily sat down at the Gryffindor house table in the Great Hall the next morning at breakfast and glared at Sirius, James, and Peter with beady eyes. Moans over Dumbledore’s attractiveness dotted the Hall, boys and girls alike whispering in reverent tones and staring gooey-eyed at the staff table, where Dumbledore himself sat, trying not to notice all the attention he was getting. Among the many admirers was Jasper Odair over at the Hufflepuff table. Because of how many students had been affected by the Marauders’ little prank -- nearly three quarters of the student body had been in attendance at the Tea -- it was going to take several days before Professor Slughorn had enough antidote to completely end the infatuation.

Sirius said, “I’m fairly pleased with my fabulousity, actually, thanks for asking.”

“Yeah,” James agreed, “And how about you? Are you happy with yourself, Evans?”

Peter smiled and stuffed some oatmeal into his mouth, quickly followed by a half a slice of toast with orange marmalade, filling his maw so his cheeks puffed out like a squirrel.

“You should all be ashamed of yourselves. And where’s The Other One? He should be ashamed too.” She glanced about for Remus.

James took a deep breath, “He was and selected by the Ministry to go on a top secret mission to the moon.” He lifted a strip of bacon from his platter. “Don’t tell anyone.” He stuck the bacon into his mouth.

Lily said, “He’s left for the Shack already?”

Sirius dusted his palms on his knee, leaning closer to Lily, who’d sat next to him, and said, “He’s with Newt Scamander’s pup all day today, tonight, and tomorrow. If you must know, we’ve been abandoned. Left for dead. Forgotten. We’re naught but the shadows of what we once were -- once, once we were interesting, once we were the only ones that he wanted to share his moons with! Once, but nary today…”

“Bloody hell, he’s only gone for two days, you blubbering sodcake,” James said, rolling his eyes. He looked at Lily, “You’d think the world was ending, the way this one’s been on about it.”

Sirius lifted his wand, “I ought to hex you, Potter.”

“Go for it. See what happens.” James replied.

“Big talk coming from a ickle bean that forgot his wand in the dorm,” Sirius snickered.

James said, “I did not forget my --” but he patted his wand pocket even as he said and found he had and he groaned, “Why am I such an idiot?”

Sirius grinned and drew James’s wand from his own pocket. “Luckily, your fabulous best mate has your back.”

“I shall hire you as my official wand caddy and you shall follow me everywhere.” James reached across for his wand from Sirius.

Sirius drew the wand back just before James could snatch it. “Ah-ah, Potter. What’s the magic word?”

“Please?”

“No, that’s a boring magic word. It’s more of a magical phrase really.”

James rolled his eyes, “Dunno Sirius, you change the damn magic word every time you bring it up - how are any of us supposed to know what it is?”

“Try ‘Sirius is fabulous’,” Peter tried.

James repeated, “Sirius is fabulous.”

Sirius grinned, “While it’s a good try, no…”

Lily reached over, took the wand, handed it to James and turned back to Sirius with a stern face, “Why aren’t you with Rey, taking care of him?”

Sirius shrugged.

Lily looked concerned.

“We had an ickle bitty fight,” Sirius said, “Nothing terrible, really…”

Peter looked up, “Nothing terrible really? Nothing terrible really? Remus told you to go get kissed by a dementor!”

Sirius stared at the table for a minute. He’d been trying to forget about that all night. It was what had caused his nightmare, what had sent him crawling under James’s covers in the middle of the night as a dog. He grabbed a cup of fruit, using the moment to force his breathing to stay normal and quickly bit into an orange slice, holding it to the front of his mouth and smiling ‘round it so the slice looked like his teeth.

“Remus really said that?” Lily looked sad and turned to Sirius, “Are you alright?”

Sirius slid the orange slice so it stuck out of his mouth like a cigar and said around it, “Course I’m alright, Evans.” He chewed the orange, staring her right in the eyes… She could see the sadness lurking there, just behind the facade of playfulness that he was putting on and she frowned, but let him have it, turning back to the table to collect food for herself. Sirius concentrated very much on his fruit cup.

“You ought to come with us, Lily,” Peter said suddenly.

James stamped on Peter’s foot under the table.

“Ow, what was that for?” Peter asked, scowling.

“Come with you?” Lily looked up, confused, “Come with you where?”

“We’re going to go play in the woods tonight,” Peter answered, still glaring at James.

Lily’s eyebrows went up and she let her eyes bounce between the three of them… James stared straight down and Sirius looked away. “Are you mad? You’re going out to the woods? With the dementors about?”

“Pffft. We aren’t scared,” James said, “Dementors shementors.”

“Shementors!” Sirius hooted. “Do you lot reckon there are any shementors? Female dementors, I mean?”

Peter shivered. “I reckon they’re the particularly nasty ones. My dad always says that you only anger a female if you fancy suffering the rest of your bleedin’ life away.”

“There must be shementors,” James said, “How else would there be any dementors left? They have to multiply somehow.”

“Shagging dementors!” Sirius cried, snorting, and all three of the boys descended into a fit of giggles.

Lily rolled her eyes, “Honestly!” She jabbed a sausage with her fork and waved it at Sirius, “Dementors don’t shag, that’s not how they multiply.”

Sirius eyed the sausage and snickered, “And are you offering a demonstration with that thing, there Evans??”

“She’s gonna fork you with her sausage, Padfoot,” James snickered.

She flushed and put the fork down. “You are disgusting.”

“You’re the one flapping your sausage about in everyone’s face,” James said.

Lily shook her head.

“Anyway, Pete’s right, Evans, you ought to come,” Sirius said, suddenly turning the subject. He twisted on the bench and folded his legs so he was sitting in some sort of yoga postion-like knot. He grinned at her, “We’ll show you a bleedin’ good time.”

“Most excellent,” agreed James.

“The best,” Peter nodded.

Lily laughed nervously. “I dunno. You lot are insane. Dunno if I fancy spending an entire ice-cold night out in the woods with you.”

“And what’s your alternate? Laying about the common room like a great lump?” James challenged.

“Helping the first years with homework, revising for the O.W.L.s - they’re coming up, you know.”

James rolled his eyes, “Nerd,” he whispered. Peter giggled.

Sirius grinned at her. “C’mon Evans, you know right well that it sounds like fun. Don’t say you don’t think so… a night under the stars, kept warm by your favorite animal friends and their thick fur, after a day of romping about and enjoying life, getting into mischief and being up to no good.”

Lily stared at him, a slight twitch to her face.

“Jasper’s busy, not like you’ll be snogging him,” James said.

“Yes, I’m afraid we broke your boyfriend,” Sirius said.

James nodded, “It’s unfortunate, really.”

Sirius glanced over Jasper’s direction, then grinned wickedly, “He’s sort of like having your own Niffler, isn’t he?”

Lily scowled, “A niffler?”

“Yeah. He’s got black hair and likes finding things. Sounds like a niffler to me.”

James snorted so hard pumpkin juice burned his nose and he covered his face with the napkins from the table, choking into one.

Lily rolled her eyes, “Will you knock it off with that, the poor boy’s perfectly normal…”

Sirius said, “That’s… that’s entirely not true but alright.” He looked to Peter, covered his mouth with his hand and coughed, half-niffler, under his breath. Lily smacked his arm and Sirius giggled.

“So what do you say, Evans?” James said, clearing his throat to call attention to himself and staring solemnly at her across the table. He didn’t want her to circumvent the question. He wanted an answer.

Lily stared at him for a long moment.

Sirius’s mouth curved in a daring grin. “C’mon darling,” he said, eyes twinkling playfully. “Aren’t you curious what it is we get up to out there? Aren’t you just itching to find out?”

James looked at Sirius, then turned back to Lily, his lip hung up on his tooth that way she liked. His mouth was dry, he wanted her to say yes so badly that it hurt from his very toes. “Are you in or are you out, Evans?”

“Okay, okay. I’m in,” she said finally.




Lily was in her dormitory, packing things up to go with the Marauders out onto the grounds. Extra jumpers, a couple blankets, some snacks she had stashed in her bedroom, a coin purse with some galleons - just in case… She was folding a couple changes of clothes to put in when she knocked over her pink flamingo stuffie, which she’d gotten in Florida over the summer, and he fell to the floor, tumbling beneath her bed by her nightstand. “Aw Miami,” she said - which was the bird’s name - “I’m sorry.” She knelt down to fetch him.
She stuck her hand under the bed to grab the flamingo and it brushed something… She twisted her head to see what it was and found there was a small package there, wrapped up with ribbon. She sat down and drew both the flamingo and the package out from under the bed.

“What is this?” she wondered, tossing Miami back up on the bed and lifting the little box from the floor, turning it over in her hand. There was a note tied to the box and she tore it off and opened it up.

Happy Valentine’s Day.
-J.


She smiled and opened the box, her fingers trembling over the ribbon as she tugged it free and ripped the paper off. The box was tiny and white and she lifted the lid and inside was a chain bracelet with a heart-shaped closure and hanging from one of the loops was a charm - a teacup with a saucer beneath it.

She stared at it, confused a moment, then whispered, “But why a teacup?” She ran her fingers over the little silver cup, then slid the bracelet onto her arm wrist and clasped it with the little heart, her fingers running over the chain softly.




She was to meet the Marauders downstairs. They said they had something to attend to before they left and it would put them in the Entrance Hall at half past six and they’d see her there, to wait for them by the end of the stairs… Lily was standing by the hourglasses filled with jewels when Severus Snape spotted her as he was coming up from the dungeons. He glanced toward the Great Hall, then broke away from the streaming sea of students going in to dinner to walk over to where Lily stood.

“What’re you doing?” he asked, walking up, hugging his robes about himself for the chill in the air.

Lily answered, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m standing here, waiting for somebody.”

Severus looked her over, “Why are you all bundled up?”

“It’s cold in here.”

He glanced back at the Great Hall’s entrance, at all the people going in, and he asked, “Who are you waiting for?”

“Does it matter?”

“Are you cross with me?”

“A little,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“Just the way you’ve been treating Sirius Black in Potions class. He needs help learning that stuff, that’s why he’s in Remedial Potions, that’s why I’ve been having to teach him once a week, and you - you’ve been horrible to him, making my job harder. Sev, you’re the most brilliant one of us in that whole class, honestly it ought to be you who’s tutoring him. He could learn so much having you for a partner in that class and yet you just use it as the torture-Sirius-Black hour.” She shrugged, “That’s why I’m cross.”

Severus frowned. “What, are you friends with him now or something?”

Lily stared at Severus. How could he be so blind? She’d been friends with Sirius and the rest of the Marauders for some time now. Was he in denial or something?

He saw it without meaning to - her mind. He saw the laughter from that morning as Sirius Black giggled over coughing the words half-niffler, heard Peter Pettigrew’s tremulous voice - You ought to come with us - and saw James Potter’s smile, Are you in or are you out, Evans?

I’m in, her voice echoed.

Severus looked up, his eyes meeting Lily’s. He shook his head, “No.”

“No what?”

“No, you’re meeting him here, aren’t you? No you can’t. You can’t meet him here - not tonight,” there was panic in his voice as his eyes flitted to the wide windows over the entrance hall. “Lily, you can’t go.” He reached for her wrist.

“Severus, what are you - stop that, let go of me.” She swatted at his hand.

“Lily, he’s dangerous, Sirius Black. You don’t understand. You don’t know.” Severus’s voice rose in panic, “I don’t know what they’re playing at - inviting you out ot the woods, or even going to the woods themselves - It’s probably another of their horrible, immature little pranks or something. But this one’s dangerous! You can’t go. Not only are there dementors out there right now, Sirius Black’s --”

“Severus -” Lily wrenched at her wrist, trying to pull away, “You’re mad --”

He leaned closer, and hissed, “He’s a werewolf, Lily.”

The fight went out of her, every ounce of her went quite cold and she stared at Severus.

Don’t think it, don’t think it, don’t think it, she mantraed in her head, her heart slamming in her chest.

“He’s a werewolf,” Severus repeated. “That’s where they go when they go outside. I don’t know how they haven’t all been eaten by now, I’m working on figuring that out. I’m working on getting better evidence, but Lily, I know he is. I know it. He stole aconite from the potions store cupboard last week. Loads of aconite. It’s the full moon, Lily. He’s going out there to transform into a werewolf and they’re going to play a trick on you, to scare you to --”

Lily shook her head, “No, you’re wrong, Severus,” she stammered, “You’re wrong.”

“I’m not wrong.” His grip on her wrist tightened, “And you’re not going with them. They’re trying to hurt you. The bastards are trying to hurt you.”

“They aren’t hurting me,” she whined and she tried to pull her wrist away again, “You are, but --”

“I refuse to let you get bitten.”

“I’m not going to get bitten! Sirius Black isn’t a werewolf! You idiot.”

“You don’t know how to spot these things properly is all!” Severus said, still not letting up on her wrist. “You’re not a pureblood, you haven’t been raised in the magical community. If you were, you’d see it, you’d see all the signs are there - he is, Lily - it’s because you’re a… a muggle-born you don’t see it…”

“You’re ridiculous!” Lily snapped. “And what’s this sudden talk about pureblood and being muggle-born like it’s a handicapped? Is that what you think of me? Like I’m some how less than you because I don’t have wizard blood?”

Severus grit his teeth. “Lily -- you have to listen to me.”

“No, you listen to me. I don’t like those boys you’ve been hanging out with lately. Avery and Mulciber and them. They’re changing you, Severus. They’ve been changing you for some time now. You’re slowly becoming somebody I don’t recognize and it scares me. You used to be my best friend and now - now you’re scaring me.” She tried to wrench her wrist away once again.

“I’m not letting you go out on the grounds with a bleeding werewolf on the loose,” Severus hissed, deciding not to address the other things she’d said.

“I’m a big girl, Severus, I can do what I want!” Lily demanded, “Let. Me. Go.”

“No.”

Lily struggled.

“Ziaferin!”

A jet of light hit Snape in the hand and he dropped her wrist quickly, his fist swelling up quickly as though he’d been stung. He turned to look and so did Lily and there on the step were the three Marauders she’d been waiting for. James had his wand aimed at Snape.

“She said to let her go,” Sirius said, lithely swinging himself ‘round the bannister’s end to come up beside Severus, his eyes wide and challenging, staring at Severus.

James came up beside him, wand still levelled, and he slipped himself between Lily and Severus Snape as Peter scrambled over, too.

“Generally when a lady says to let her go, a gentleman responds by letting her go,” Sirius growled.

“This isn’t a gentleman, Padfoot, it’s a filthy, oversized bat with a gargantuan nose,” James said.

Sirius stared into Severus’s eyes.

“How do you stand upright with that thing on your face, Snivellus?” James asked, “You’d think the weight of it would just topple you right down… It’s a miracle you’re able to walk around.”

Severus’s eyes moved to James, “The same way you’re able to walk around with that… ego…” He sneered. “You lot of filthy, overprivileged imbeciles.” His eyes flickered over Sirius and Peter and back to James.

James laughed and his wand hand shook. “Say it again. I dare you.”

“Don’t - let’s go,” Lily pleaded.

Severus said, “I don’t know what you’re playing at - taking her out tonight -” he looked at Sirius. Then he paused. Something occurring to him… the moon was already out. His eyes flickered over the three of them there… to the moonlight coming through the window, pooling over them all, then back to Sirius…

The pause was all that was needed. “Trudo,” James hissed and Snape stumbled backwards, giving them the space they needed. He turned and grabbed Lily’s hand, “C’mon, Evans.”

“Don’t you grab onto me now,” she hissed, tugging her hand away. He let go. That was the difference between them, really, she thought. He let go when she told him to.

Severus stood there, confused enough to let them go, gaping between the moonlight and Sirius Black as Sirius, Peter, James, and Lily - who looked back sorrowfully as Severus glared after them - walked away, quickly toward the door and ducking out into the dark.

But if it wasn’t Sirius who was the werewolf… then…

The scarred face of Remus Lupin popped into his mind.