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Always With The Saving


“Animagus.”

Sirius felt his throat tighten.

“You’re an animagus,” Regulus said, his voice afraid, accusatory. “Like - like McGonagall.”

Sirius nodded, “Yes.”

“And you turn into Snuffles.”

He nodded again.

Regulus’s eyes were wide and terrified and awestruck at exactly the same time.

There was a crack - a twig snapping behind Sirius - and he turned around to see James and Lily there, James’s face bright red with emotion and tears in Lily’s eyes, two steps behind him... a frantic look to her face…

Sirius forgot about Regulus standing there. The look on James Potter’s face was so gut wrenchingly agonized that Sirius forgot pretty much everything and he went to his friend, his defenses on full alert. He grabbed James ‘round the shoulders, swinging himself between James and Lily and he looked into James’s face, “What happened?”

“Sirius --” Lily started, but Sirius held up a palm to silence her and looked at James. “Prongs. What happened?”

“Didn’t come,” James breathed. “I sat there -- so stupid -- and gave the chair away… loads of butterbeer… after one o’clock, and… and the fountain....”

“I was coming and Severus Snape --”

Sirius looked up at Lily, “What’d that miserable dungheap do now?”

“The first years have your invisibility cloak and they mean to use it to go and save Harold Minchum from Malfoy Manor,” Lily spat out the words. “Severus Snape saw their minds - they were invisible in the crowd of students and passed by him and he told me - and we tried to find them, but they’re invisible and time went a lot faster than I thought it would and when I realized it was 12:40 --”

“Harold Minchum isn’t the only one they’re rescuing if they’re going to Malfoy Manor.” Regulus’s voice broke over the scene as he and Kreacher came over. Regulus looked at James. “The Dark Lord also has Charlus and Dora Potter.”

James let out an inhuman sound and fell to his knees on the dirt.

“Fuck!” Sirius ducked quickly to catch James before he fell forward completely. “Fuck. When? Why?”

“I don’t know,” Regulus said.

Lily had covered her mouth with her palms in horror.

“The Dark Lord searches for the Potters for such a long time… wishing to kill them... but their Secret Keeper is unknown and so the Dark Lord has finally found the filthy blood traitor family…” Kreacher croaked. “Finally he can kill the Potters, and the Dark Lord is happy…”

Another strangled sound from James erupted at this.

“You filthy disgusting --” Sirius started, cursing the elf.

“Don’t call him that!” Regulus said hotly. “He doesn’t know better, Sirius!”

Sirius’s eyes flashed to Regulus, “So teach him some manners.”

Regulus flushed.

“This is why he hasn’t written me, this is why… should’ve known sooner… no letter last week, no letter... should’ve told Dumbledore, should’ve --” James’s voice was numb. He wasn’t crying. He wasn’t anything. He was staring, eyes sort of glazed over.

Sirius hugged him tighter, without even thinking about it, he held him the way that Dora Potter would have. Because Sirius’s only experience of being held by a mother had come from Dora and, subconsciously, it was that night way back in first year, when he’d run away the first time and found himself at the Potter’s, soaked to the bone from the snow that came to him... and he started rocking James gently as he crouched before him, one hand on the back of James’s head. “We need to go save the Potters.” Sirius’s voice was filled with solid determination. After all, Dora and Charlus Potter were his mum and dad, too.

“And the first years,” Lily injected. They were her little seagulls.

“And Harold Minchum,” Regulus said. Maryrose should not have died in vain.

“Always with the saving…” murmured James against Sirius’s chest.




Remus stood awkwardly in the lobby of the inn, holding Oliver’s hand, the witch behind the desk eyeing them warily as they stood before the Floo. “Can I help you?” the witch called. She was probably in her early twenties and had magicked an emery board to file her nails while she sat there, holding her hand up as the board swept over her nails of its own accord.

“Just waiting for some friends,” Remus replied. “They said to meet them here.”

The witch watched them a bit, but for the most part was more interested in Witch Weekly than she was in the two frumpy looking boys standing by the fireplace.

Remus sat on the raised brick ledge before the floo and sighed. Oliver paced, and touched his hand to his mouth as he walked, his eyes cast downward nervously. Remus watched him a moment, then said, “It’ll be okay, Ollie.”

Ollie looked up. “Wally’s gonna be so mad at me.”

“He’ll forgive you.”

Ollie stared at Remus a long moment, then returned to pacing.

Remus looked down at his knees as he rubbed his hands over his trousers, massaging the aching bones.

Ollie sat down quickly beside Remus and whispered, “I love him.”

Remus looked at Oliver in confusion, “What?”

“Wally.”

Remus hesitated. Oliver was a tiny boy - the tiniest of the bunch of the first years. He had narrow shoulders and a sweetly innocent face. He could have easily passed for eight or nine with his adorable little face. It sounded so strange, hearing an eleven year old as teensy as Oliver talking about love with such a hushed, passionate tone.

“It’s - it’s okay… boys loving boys, yeah?” Ollie asked, looking up at Remus desperately. “You love Sirius Black.”

Remus felt like his heart had just been torn out of the cavity in his chest. His throat swelled up and he nodded. “I do,” he said, his voice thick.

“All the other boys talk about girls and how pretty they and Liam and Darcy love Vivian Warshaw and Dexter has a crush on Lily Evans,” Ollie said, “But I think Wally is pretty. And I was really scared to say it to them so I always just go along with them but they think I’m weird because I don’t have crushes on girls, but... I love Wally.”

Remus said, “You aren’t weird. It’s not weird to love somebody. Love is the most powerful magic there is.”

Ollie said, “Wally kissed me.”

Remus felt his cheeks go red and he said, “He… did?”

Ollie nodded, “And then he said that he could trust me and he told me not to tell what they were doing.” He stared at his hands. “And then I told you and I’m afraid he’ll think that I’m bad or a tattletale and I just don’t want him to get hurt. Or Dexter or Liam. They’re my friends… even if I’m not theirs.”

Remus put his arm around Oliver’s shoulders.

Ollie looked up at Remus, “How did you and Sirius kiss the first time?”

Remus said, “I kissed him on my birthday. Because he said I was a good person and that anyone in the castle would be lucky to have me.”

Oliver smiled, “And then you were together forever after?”

Remus shook his head, “It took until Christmas after that before we got together. Sirius kissed me that time, by the fire in the common room…” Remus stared at his hands.

Ollie looked at the floo behind them, imagining the hearth back in Gryffindor common room, picturing the scene. In his head, Sirius Black looked a lot like Wally and Remus Lupin looked a lot like him and in his mind the kiss was a lot like the one that he’d had that morning, sitting on the bed in the dormitory. A quick peck of a thing, four little thin lips pressing against each other. Ollie looked back at Remus, “And now you’re together forever.”

Remus shook his head.

Oliver stared up at Remus.

“We’ve been broken up for a time now, Ollie.”

“But the love didn’t go away. You just said you love him.”

“I’ll always love him,” Remus replied, “But sometimes there’s things you can’t forgive, there’s things that --” he stopped himself as Ollie’s little face crumpled. “Ollie?”

“What if me telling you about this is one of the things Wally can’t forgive?”

“He will. Eventually, he will,” he murmured.

Ollie’s eyes searched Remus’s. “How do you know? Why would Wally be able to forgive me for this and Sirius not be able to forgive you for whatever happened?”

“It’s not Sirius that needs to forgive,” Remus murmured. “Oh Sirius would’ve forgiven me already if it was turned the other way, Sirius wouldn’t have hesitated to…” he stared at his hands, “Sirius is loud and dramatic and whatever but he - he wouldn’t hold this against me.” Remus closed his eyes.

“Why can’t you forgive him?” Ollie questioned.

Remus didn’t know what to say. He shrugged.

“But you love him.”

Remus nodded again.




”I don’t want Severus Snape!” Lily’s voice echoed in his head.

Severus’s hands shook. He’d come up behind them… heard her shouting at James Potter, and his plea for her to just go be with Severus...

And for a moment, Severus Snape had planned to walk over and scoop Lily into his arms and defend her against James’s yelling, to tell him not to hurt her anymore than he’d already done, to shut up about it, and rescue her from him. He’d pictured her turning and putting her face into his neck, clinging to him. ”Oh Sev,” she would sob, “Oh Sev, I’ve been so stupid. He’s right, he’s right, I do love you more than him!”

He would finally win.

And then she’d yelled at.

Severus Snape’s heart had broken all over again.

He didn’t know what had made him continue on to the Hog’s Head, other than a blind determination to do what Lily Evans had told him to. But he found himself standing in front of the Floo in the pub, his jaw set against emotion, his eyes sweeping across the patrons of the bar…

He stood there for some time, waiting for Lily to come like she’d said she would.

And after about thirty minutes of waiting, Severus began to feel… almost bad for the way he had laughed at James Potter. This was a horrible feeling. Waiting for Lily Evans and realizing she’d chosen to go to someone else.

He turned to go.

And out of the corner of his eyes… he saw a flicker… a green spark in the grate of the Floo…

Severus Snape turned around just as Liam bolted out from beneath the cloak and threw himself into the Floo. “Malfoy Manor!” Liam announced boldly and with a flash, he was gone.

“Wait.” Severus started toward them. “Wait…”

And there was another flash and then went Wally into the hearth. “Malfoy Manor!” he said and a flash…

Severus reached out as a third flash in the hearth sparked and he grabbed onto Dexter’s arm, ripping the cloak from over his head.

Dexter stared up at Severus with wide, panic-stricken eyes.