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Manners, Evans


“I’ve never ridden in a muggle motorcar before,” Sirius Black said. He stared at the little red car - a Morris Mini, Sirius recognized it from some of the automobile and motorbike magazines he’d taken to reading the year before at school, knicked from the bookshelves in the Muggle Artefacts Museum. He was standing in Lily Evans’s driveway, holding the strap of his small bag. It had to be nearly 40 degrees outside, yet Sirius was still wearing his leather jacket and a pair of jeans that had been ripped in several places and repaired with safety pins. His hair was wilting.

Lily Evans hoisted a suitcase into the boot of the car. She was wearing a short blue sundress with a string that tied ‘round the back of her neck instead of sleeves. Sirius had a feeling James Potter would like that sundress very, very much. And James Potter would especially enjoy the view that Sirius currently had as Lily leaned over the bumper to lay the case flat, standing on her tiptoes, her bum sticking out of the boot, barely covered by the hem of the skirt.

A little blue car drove up - a really nice little blue car, and of the two little blue things (Lily’s dress and that car), Sirius was far more interested in that car and he turned, raising his sunglasses to look at it, his eyebrows raised. The car came to a stop at the curb out front of the Evans’s house and the driver door opened and a round boy with a thick neck and black hair got out. He was wearing shorts and a short-sleeve plaid shirt with sandals. The boy straightened his shirt then walked around the pretty blue car to the driveway, pausing to look Sirius over with judgemental eyes - though Sirius was too busy staring at the car to notice the boy.

The boy eyed Lily for a moment, then said, “Hello. Is Petunia inside, then?”

Sirius finally noticed the boy for the first time and he stared at him for a long moment. This, by his description alone, had to be Petunia’s Rhinoceros, Sirius realized, remembering last Christmas, when James had used the two-way mirrors to tell Sirius all about his trip to the Evans’s house and how Petunia Evans had a boyfriend who sold drills who was the most boring person alive.

Boring, probably.

But damn did he have an alright taste in cars.

“Hullo Vernon,” Lily said, her voice sounded friendly, but she really hated him. She said, “This is my friend Sirius Black,” and she waved her palm at Sirius.

Vernon cast a bored look at Sirius, then held out his hand in an obligatory fashion. “Vernon Dursley, pleasure to meet you.”

Sirius stared at Vernon Dursley’s hand a moment, then grasped it and shook it a bit more vigorously than was really necessary. When he let it go, Vernon wiped it off on his shorts. “Sirius Black,” said Sirius. “What kind of car is that?”

“That’s a 1972 Ferrari Dino 246 GT.”

Sirius drifted toward it and Vernon winced, following after him.

“It’s fucking amazing,” Sirius said. “Oooh are the seats leather?” he reached through the open window to run his hand over the cream coloured seat, grinning when he found that they were, indeed, leather. “Is it yours?”

“Yes,” Vernon said, his voice pinched.

Sirius said, “Lucky.”

Busy, more like. I work very hard.” He paused. “What do you do?”

“Do?” Sirius asked.

For a living?”

Sirius blinked. “Oh. Um. I’m still in school.”

“Right. Yes. But what do you do?”

Sirius wasn’t sure what he meant so he said, “I s’pose I, uh, I sing and listen to music.”

“Anything I’ve heard?”

“Uhh--”

Lily came over, cutting between them, “Tuney’s in the house, Vernon. Sirus, can you help me with the suitcase please? Now?”

“Yeah.” Sirius followed Lily across the driveway and Vernon Dursley took a moment to roll his car window up and then went inside, carrying the keys tight in his fist as he stepped through the door of the Evans house. Sirius watched him go. “What’s he mean by what do I do?”

“He’s an idiot,” Lily replied. “He was asking if you had a job.”

“Well bloody hell, I’m sixteen.”

“He’s nineteen and he thinks he’s the best thing ever. He works for his dad at Grunnings - it’s a drill company.”

Sirius stared back at the car. “It is a nice car, though. I’d like a car like that.”

“They’re expensive. That’s the only reason he wanted to talk about it with you. He was trying to show off how much money he makes. Business is good right now, I guess.” She hoisted another suitcase into the boot of the car. “I’m fairly certain that’s what interest Tuney in him so much. I don’t think there’s anything else about Vernon Dursley to be interested in.”

Sirius turned back and helped pick up the last of the suitcases.

Vernon Dursley, Petunia Evans and Mrs. Evans all came out of the house then, Mrs. Evans locking the front door. Mrs Evans was very pretty for a mother, Sirius thought, as she walked across the yard. She had on a soft pink dress, a classy thing with a belt about the middle and a matching sheer driving scarf she’d wrapped about her head and big round sunglasses, a strand of pearls at her neck. Petunia hurried with Vernon toward the pretty blue car without saying hello to Sirius and they got in without even saying goodbye to Lily.

Lily watched them pull away.

“Your sister and Vernon are going to meet us at the cottage,” Mrs. Evans said as she reached up to lower her sunglasses to greet Sirius. She smiled, and Sirius smiled back as Lily’s mum extended her hand, “You must be Sirius Black,” she said brightly, “Lily’s told me quite a lot about you. I’ve been very excited to meet you.”

And something quite funny happened that Lily Evans never would have expected in a hundred years.

Sirius Black’s shoulders and back went straight as he stopped his usual slouching, he stuck out his hand and he took hold of Mrs. Evans’s hand and rather than shaking it like a normal person might, he held it and bowed in a most old fashioned sort of way, sweeping his one hand over his spine as he lowered his face, and he kissed Mrs. Evans’s knuckles. “It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Evans,” he said cordially as he stood upright again, “You look splendid.”

Mrs. Evans flushed, “Oh hush.” She looked at Lily, her eyes dancing, “What a nice boy.”

Lily stared at Sirius, “Yeah, he is.” She gave him a funny look.

Sirius’s lips tweaked slightly.

Mrs. Evans turned back to Sirius, “I’m very glad you could come along.”

“Thank you very much for having me,” Sirius replied, “Here, let me take that for you.” And he reached down for the small ice box she was carrying.

“It can go in the back seat,” Mrs. Evans said, “I’m sure we’ll be thirsty on the ride so I’ve packed us some drinks as well as lunch, so we can stop along the way.” She smiled and opened the driver door the car, climbing in and adjusting the mirrors.

Lily looked at Sirius, “What was that?”

“What was what?”

Lily mimicked the bowing and the kissing of the hand and raised her eyebrow at Sirius.

“Manners, Evans,” Sirius replied, “Those are called manners.” He reached up and closed the boot door and went ‘round the car, pulling open the passenger door. He felt so cool opening up a car door like he did it everyday and he smirked and asked, “You should take a photograph of me doing this.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m riding in a muggle car!” Sirius said, “It’s a photo-worthy moment, don’t you think?” He reached into his bag and pulled out the Polaroid camera he never did return to Marlene McKinnon and handed it to Lily. “Here, look, I’ll do it again.” And he put his hand on the door handle and posed, grinning stupidly at the camera as Lily rolled her eyes and clicked the shutter and the film whirred and hummed and a few moments later, the camera spit out the picture and Sirius shook it, developing the film as he climbed into the back seat with the icebox and Lily got in and closed the door.

“Next stop - the sea shore!” sing-songed Mrs. Evans.

Sirius Black tried not to be odd, but he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the muggle vehicle, watching Mrs. Evans shift gears and feeling the hum and roar of the engine running through the car’s frame. He pressed his nose to the back window (Lily couldn’t help but think of Snuffles the dog doing exactly that, too) and stared out with absolute fascination as the city passed them by, counting the power poles as they drove, grinning about at everything.

“So, Sirius,” Mrs. Evans said, “Do you have a girlfriend back at school?”

Lily’s face flushed, “Mum, I told you --”

“No, Mrs. E, I don’t,” Sirius interrupted Lily. “I’m currently unattached.”

“Perhaps you’ll meet a nice girl on the boardwalk,” she suggested.

Mother,” Lily hissed.

“What? I met your father on the boardwalk,” Mrs. Evans said. “Meeting a girl isn’t unheard of…”

“No, but mother Sirius --”

“I’m queer, Mrs. Evans, that’s what Lily’s trying to say,” Sirius said from the back seat.

Lily flushed, “I wasn’t going to use that term but --”

“Flaming white-hot gay, then,” Sirius said.

Lily smacked her forehead.

“But still unattached,” Sirius added.

Luckily, Mrs. Evans found Sirius Black to be charming and she smiled and said, “Then maybe you’ll meet a nice boy on the boardwalk.”

“Maybe,” said Sirius.

But the only boy Sirius Black was interested in was 3,000 kilometers away.