Faithfully
Chapter 19
By Dottie
Copyright 2016
Jessi’s POV
Nick’s been gone all day. AJ and Hanna Jo keep telling me he’s sleeping but I know they are lying. He’s hiding from me. He’s disgusted at the sight of me and doesn’t want to be here. It’s so unfair of me to make him stay, but I’m desperate. Desperate to keep the one thing Donnie always wanted to take from me. My Nick.
Haley Jo kicks my ribs and I grimace, rubbing my stomach. “That hurts little girl, stop it.”
The door opens and Nick is standing there. “What hurts? What’s wrong?”
I can’t stop staring at him. He looks different. I can’t say happy, but the spark is back in his eyes. I fight to control my voice as I whisper, “Haley Jo kicks hard.”
He walks over and sits down gently beside me. “Is there anything I can do?”
Having him this close makes my heart race. “I…umm…no. I’ll be ok.”
He reaches for my hand and I almost panic. He’s been avoiding any kind of contact with me. Is this his way of saying goodbye? Before I can voice my fears, he says, “What can I do to help you Jessi?”
Before I can control my tongue, I whisper, “Marry me again.” His eyes widen slightly before he looks away. I bite my lip, turning my head. “I’m sorry Nick.”
I can’t stop the tears from falling. And I nearly jump out of my skin when Nick reaches out and brushes them away. My gaze flies back to his and he whispers, “I will marry you.”
My heart pounds a sad beat. “But you don’t want to, do you? You’re just doing it to placate me.”
He shakes his head. “At first, that’s why I said yes. But not now. Jessi I do want to marry you. I’ve always wanted to be tied to you in every way possible for the rest of my life. I just…after what happened I just didn’t think you’d ever speak to me again. I was sure you’d hate me.”
With my hand still wrapped up in his, I whisper, “For a while Nick I thought I did hate you. But it was because I didn’t understand. Now that I do…it doesn’t make what Donnie did go away. But it makes me understand why you said what you said. It made me realize you were always the man I fell in love with. You knew what I’d need to survive. And I did. I survived. I grew stronger. And I’m having your baby.”
His thumb rubs over my knuckles and my heart melts. “I’ve always loved you Jessi. And I always will. But it’s going to take time…”
I reach up with my other hand, placing my fingertips on his lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He kisses my fingertips before whispering, “Jessi, I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy. I know you want me to WANT to marry you. And I do. Being your husband is the only thing in this life I’ve ever truly wanted. But…I’m not the same man I was.”
I stroke his face, wishing he’d shave off his thick beard. “I’m not the same either. We both have to learn to accept ourselves and each other for what we are. I’m a woman that’s been raped twice and had her whole life violently ripped away from her. Donnie took you from me that night. It’s never been about him raping me. That meant nothing. He wanted to break you…break us…and he almost succeeded. That’s why I was so devastated.”
He cups my hand, pressing it into his face. “I could kill him for what he did to you.” I want to sit up and hold him. When I try, he grips my shoulders and holds me down. “Whoa, where do you think you’re going?”
With tears in my eyes, I whisper, “I want to hold you Nick. Please. I just need to know we’re both in this together. Please.” He keeps staring at me. I know he wants to run and I know I pushed. Turning my head away from him, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
I feel the sobs taking over. I can’t stop myself from hiccupping. I’m so distraught, I don’t even realize Nick has kicked off his shoes and is climbing into bed with me. When he’s stretched out beside me, he slides his hand over my stomach. “Don’t cry Jessi.”
We lay together quietly for a long time, but it only feels like a fraction of a minute. Nick kisses my temple and whispers, “Jessi, did you mean it when you said you wanted to get married before the baby comes?”
I can’t look at him because I’ll fall apart again. Keeping my eyes closed I whisper, “Yeah, but I know it’s impossible.”
He puts his head against mine and murmurs, “No it’s not. It will just take a few days.”
I gasp and open my eyes. “What? You…why…”
He smiles and I just melt. “I called Thad. He made some calls and I did some leg work. He’ll be here tomorrow to get the license in order then after the three-day waiting period a minister will come and perform the ceremony.”
My heart races. “Really? You mean it? We can…” My happiness bursts like a balloon. “But Nick do you really want…”
He shocks me when he leans down and softly kisses my lips. “I promise Jessi. I really want to marry you.”
Hanna Jo’s POV
I can’t stop myself from crying. I came to check on Jessi and heard her talking to Nick. It’s really happening. They really are going to get married and work things out. I tiptoe away from the door before sprinting down the stairs. Alex has just buckled Todd into his bouncy seat. When he stands I throw myself into his arms and whisper, “I love you with all my heart Alexander James McLean!”
He holds me tightly. “I love you too, Hanna Banana. What brought this on?”
I squeeze his neck and whisper excitedly, “Whatever you said to Nick worked. He’s going to marry her! He called Thad, he’s working it out! How did you do it Alex? Tell me!”
He kisses my cheek and says, “I used a little shock therapy. Jessi will never ask him to stay, even though it would kill her to let him go. He needed to know that if he left, Wahlberg would win. He would have reached his ultimate goal; he had Jessi, even though it was rape, and he broke up their relationship. Nick needed to know that if he left, in Jessi’s eyes, Wahlberg would have won. I don’t even know if Haley Jo could help her recover from that.”
I stand in his arms, my tears soaking his shirt. “I hate that man so much! I’ve never known that much evil could dwell inside one person.”
My loving husband brushes my hair from my face and wipes the tears from my eyes. “The evil didn’t win Baby. That’s all that matters.”
My hands rest on his waist and I whisper, “I love you. Thank you for loving Jessi enough to tell Nick. I couldn’t. She wouldn’t let me.”
He kisses my nose. “I love you too. But I didn’t only do it for Jessi. Nick needs her. He’s my brother and God knows I love him. I was losing him and I knew it. I seriously was afraid someone would call one day and tell me they found his body. I was scared.”
I lay my head on his chest. “I prayed every night for him. I was scared too.”
He rubs my back and sighs deeply. “I finally get the connection between you and Jessi. It’s what I have with Nick. He’s my closest friend and sometimes my worst enemy because he never let me bullshit him. I can’t imagine a life without him in it.”
I kiss his neck and whisper, “We don’t have to Big Mac. We have them back. We just have to take care of them a little while longer.”
Leaning back, he cups my face and whispers, “We’re a family. It’s what we do.”
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