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Faithfully
Chapter 20
By Dottie
Copyright 2016

Nick’s POV

Well, we’re married again. The ceremony was last week. Jessi seems calmer. More at ease. She’s feeling better. Me? I’m a basket case. I mean, I’m happy we’re married, but Dr. Nguyen warned me that after Haley Jo’s birth, Jessi could very well have a setback tied to post partum depression. She’s trying to prepare me and Jessi for it, but I’m not so sure I’m going to be able to handle it.

Today will be a testament to that. We’re doing a group therapy session with AJ and Hanna Jo. Dr. Nguyen wants to test the waters with Jessi about what might have happened if I had told her the truth. That Donnie’s men were holding Hanna Jo, AJ and Denise hostage. I volunteered to step out of the room…to be honest I don’t want to know what Jessi would have done. It’s bad enough I have to live the rest of my life knowing that bastard raped my wife.

I’m sitting in the living room playing one of the dozen video games AJ brought to keep us occupied when Hanna Jo calls out, “Nick, can you come up?”

I sprint up the steps quickly, thinking Jessi might need a bathroom break. Even though AJ is willing to help, she prefers me. I can’t help but be happy that she knows I’ll do whatever she needs until our daughter is born. I’m her husband. It’s my job.

When I step into the bedroom, I know that’s not the case. Hanna Jo looks ready to vomit, AJ is pale as a ghost and Jessi is practically sobbing. “What the hell is going on?”

From the computer, Dr. Nguyen says, “Calm down Nick. I told you this would be rough. Jessi is learning about what happened to AJ and Hanna Jo. She’s a bit distraught.”

From the bed Jessi growls, “A bit? That piece of shit was going to KILL them! He had them on a boat loaded with explosives. How the hell am I NOT supposed to be distraught.”

Ignoring my own best judgment, I go to the bed and sit beside. “You need to calm down Jessi. Think about Haley Jo.”

She jerks away from me. “I AM! She never would have known Hanna Jo if you had…if he…” She starts to hyperventilate.

Hanna Jo sits on the other side of the bed and takes her hand. “Calm down Jessi. This isn’t good for you or the baby.”

Jessi jerks away from her too. “Stop it! Just stop it! If I want to hate the bastard, I can. If I want to be pissed off and yell I can. DAMMIT HE TRIED TO STEAL MY LIFE!”

We all sit quietly, not sure what to say. Dr. Nguyen clears her throat and says, “Jessi, he didn’t steal your life and he’s going to pay.”

Jessi stares at the computer sitting on the nightstand. “It’s not enough. It won’t ever be enough.”

AJ moves to sit beside Hanna Jo, putting his arm around her. “Jessi, you know, I think I get what Dr. Nguyen is trying to say.” Looking at the screen he says, “Can I try to explain it?”

The doctor nods. “Please, I’d like to know what you’re getting from this session.”

AJ rubs Hanna’s back with one hand and reaches for Jessi’s with the other. “Jessi, I told Hanna Jo last week I finally get your relationship. The deep-seated love you feel for each other is something no one can truly understand unless they feel it. I feel that same connection with Nick.”

I turn to him, my mouth dropping. “Bone…”

He shakes his head and says, “If you tell ANY of the fellas I said this…” Everyone in the room chuckles uncomfortably before he continues. “Nick, we’ve both faced demons and got through it. We grew closer because of it. A lot of your problems you got from me. I came to realize over the last few months that I love you more than anyone in this world, besides Hanna Jo and Todd. You truly are my brother and for a while there, I lived in fear I’d get that call that your body was found.”

Jessi gasps. I grab her hand and whisper, “Don’t. Jessi, I wouldn’t…”

AJ cuts me off. “Jessi, I believe you when you say you forgive him for his choice. One day he will believe it. It’s going to take time. But if you keep holding on to the anger for Donnie, we’ll never all move on.” He looks at the doctor. “You’re trying to tell her the only way she’s going to truly beat Donnie once and for all is to let go of the anger and embrace life. Her life with Nick, Hanna Jo, the kids and me. We have to all just let it go and be thankful we were strong enough to get through it.”

Dr. Nguyen nods. “That is what I want her to understand AJ. But she’s not the only one that has to let go. Nick, you have to let it go too. What you did you were forced to do. It’s not your fault what Donnie did to Jessi. It’s no one’s fault but his. Until you all truly forgive yourselves for your choices, Jessi will never be able to let this go and some part of her will always believe Donnie won.”

I can’t stop looking at Jessi. She whispers softly, “I love you Nick. Please don’t let him win.”

My heart is pounding in my chest. I still hate myself most of the time. But what they are telling me makes so much sense. With her hand in mine, I whisper hoarsely, “I do love you Jessi. And I don’t want him to win. I won’t let him win and I won’t let you go. I promise.”

She starts to cry harder, gripping my hand. I lower my head, pulling her hand up to my lips. I love this woman completely. I will fight for her with every breath in my body because she deserves it. AJ and Hanna Jo are crying on each other’s shoulders. Today was a major breakthrough for us all. Our family is finally together again.

We’re all completely over emotional so none of us realize when Jessi’s tears become something else. Well, Dr. Nguyen noticed. “Jessi? Jessi, what’s the matter?”

I lift my head to meet her gaze and she whispers, “I think my water broke.”

It’s like I’m frozen. Hanna Jo jumps up. “Alex, call an ambulance. Nick…NICK!” Her stern voice pulls me from my terrified trance. “Pick her up. We need to get her into a dry gown.”

From the computer, Dr. Nguyen says, “Someone send me pictures. Congratulations. We’ll talk again in a few days.”

I scoop Jessi up in my arms. She hugs my neck and whispers, “I love you.”

I kiss her cheek and whisper, “I love you too.”


The ambulance is there in less than fifteen minutes. Haley Jo is still moving around and Jessi seems quite calm, under the circumstances. She’s watching me as the attendants get her settled on the gurney. “Nick will you do something for me?”

I nod quickly. “Anything.”

She gives me that impish smile of hers that used to set me off like a roman candle on the fourth of July. “Please shave. I don’t want Haley Jo’s first view of her daddy to be that beard.”

I just shake my head. “You never liked a beard on me, did you?”

She shakes her head. “No. It hides your smile. Please?”

AJ laughs. “He’ll shave Jessi. At the hospital. Let’s GO!”


I’ve been in my hospital bed close to three hours. Haley Jo’s heart rate has been good so they are letting me try to have a natural birth. I want to so bad I ache but I don’t think it’s going to happen. I’m not dilating enough. Finally, the doctor comes back and I whisper, “Please, I can’t take it. I just want to hold my baby, please?”

He nods gravely. “I was coming to suggest a C-section. Your frame is just too small for a natural birth and your daughter is measuring in at close to six pounds. Even though she’s early, it’s a good size.”

I grip Nick’s hand and reach for Hanna Jo’s. “Please, can they stay?”

The doctor nods. “Of course. We’re going to get you ready. It won’t be long.”

As the nurses prepare me, Nick stands close by. I look up at him and smile. “Thank you for shaving.”

He rubs his face and mutters, “Honestly, it feels better.” Moving past one of the nurses he leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you Jessi.”

She rubs her stomach and whispers back, “I love you too. We both do.”






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