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Kevin awoke the day of the Minnesota concert in 1998 feeling tired, not more tired than he usually did because he didn’t usually sleep well on the tour bus to begin with. He got up and immediately tripped, falling on the floor of the bus and swearing. 


“Oh, sorry….I thought I picked those up.” Nick commented casually as he walked past, picking up his sneaker from the floor. 


“Goddamn it, Nick. I thought we told you to clean up your crap. Didn’t Brian tell you?” Kevin said as Nick helped him up. Nick shrugged, chucking the sneaker into his bunk across from Kevin’s. 


“Probably before I threw my shoes at him. I don’t remember.” 


Kevin rolled his eyes at the 18 year old who was testing his patience today and just chose to ignore him for now. They all ate dry cereal for breakfast because Nick finished the milk the day before, as Brian pointed out. This sparked another argument between Nick and Kevin until AJ told both of them to shut the fuck up. Nobody talked very much until Howie walked towards the front of the bus on his cell phone with a serious expression on his face. 


“Okay, Dad. I’ll try to be on the first flight out. Okay. Yes. Thank you. See you soon.” he said before hanging up. 


“What’s going on?” Brian asked, raising an eyebrow. 


Howie sat down next to him, rubbing his head and sighing as his eyes watered. He looked as if he was about to cry. 


“What happened, D?” AJ asked. 


“My sister Caroline is not doing well, her Lupus has taken a bad turn and she doesn't have long. The whole family is flying out to North Carolina to make final arrangements….and...to say goodbye.” 


“Oh, I’m so sorry. Is there anything we can do?” Kevin offered when Howie shook his head, crying in front of them. Kevin’s eyes watered and he put a hand on Howie’s shoulder. He knew exactly what he was feeling having lost his father a few years ago. Howie’s sister had been sick for quite some time and was in and out of the hospital so they all kind of anticipated this happening again, however it was still a bit of a shock that she was currently on her deathbed. As the conversation continued, Howie got more and more upset before he finally stood up. 


“I hate to do this, but I am going to have to leave to fly there. I want to meet up with my family. I know the show is tomorrow and it’s last minute, but I have to be there with them. I’m sure all of you understand but I’m worried management won’t like me just taking off like this.” Howie said tearfully. 


“You need to go to be with your sister. I’m sure management can figure something else out. Don’t even worry about them, fuck them. We are just dollar signs to them anyway.” Brian offered as they were interrupted by noises coming from Nick’s game boy. Brian was in a heated battle with management over their money anyway and the other boys all knew that he loved pissing them off. Everyone but Howie rolled their eyes. They ignored him and continued discussing Howie’s sister. 


“I just don’t know what to do.” Howie sniffed.


“Go and be with your family. Like Brian said, management can deal with it. You need to be with them.” Kevin told him, patting Howie on the back. Howie wiped his eyes and sighed. 


“Okay, I’ll go pack and then get a cab to the airport. Thanks for understanding, guys. I’ll call you when I get there.” Howie said before heading to the back of the bus to grab his overnight bag out of his bunk. 


“Nick, that was a little rude to turn on your game when Howie was talking. Don’t you realize how serious this is? His sister is very sick.” Kevin said, turning around to scold Nick before he realized he was talking to an empty chair. Nick had gone somewhere on the bus and left them to finish their breakfast, although none of them did. Howie ended up leaving and they canceled their concert. They knew fans would be disappointed, not to mention management was not happy...but Howie needed to be there for his family at the time. 


“So do you think he made it there okay? He hasn’t called.” Brian pointed out when he, Kevin and AJ were in the back of the bus watching a movie. Nick was sitting with them fully engrossed in playing Legend of Zelda and not paying attention to anyone. 


“I’m sure he’s just getting settled over there. He’ll call.” AJ said. Nick’s game was starting to drown out their conversation. Brian could see that Kevin was annoyed and he looked at him to tell him to leave Nick be, but his cousin was not having it. 


“Nick, don’t you care about anything but that stupid game of yours?” Kevin asked, almost shouting. 


“Huh? I’m sure Howie’s fine.” Nick said, barely looking up. Kevin rolled his eyes in exasperation because he was getting frustrated. 


“You don’t need to yell at him, he’s not bothering anybody. Let him play his stupid game. I don’t wanna listen to you two bitching the rest of the night.” AJ said. 


“I’m not bothering anybody. Besides, Zelda isn’t stupid and I’m close to beating it so leave me alone. You’re not my dad.” Nick snapped moodily. 


Kevin felt the anger rise up inside of himself, and he could feel Brian looking at him. Brian was waiting for him to blow up. Brian said nothing. Kevin looked at him for help but he shook his head and shrugged as if to say if he was on his own. 


“You should care. Howie’s our brother. He’s going through a hard time.” Kevin said calmly, his voice shaking a little bit as a result of trying to stay calm.


“I never said I don’t care about Howie. Why would you fucking say that?”


“Well, I mean you haven’t acted like you do since Howie told us about his sister. You do this all the time, Nick.” Kevin replied. 


Nick didn’t say anything, he rolled his eyes and started to head towards his bunk. 


“I can’t believe him. He can be so thoughtless sometimes.” Kevin sighed, sinking back into the couch cushions. AJ got up to go to the bathroom and left him and Brian alone. 


“He can be, but he’s just 18. You’re being kinda hard on him, sorry to inform you.” Brian pointed out. 


“I’m just looking out for him, unlike you. You’re supposed to be his guardian. I don’t see you saying anything to him. You just let him do whatever he wants.” 


“That’s where you and I are different. Yeah, I’m his guardian right now- but that doesn’t mean I dictate what to do. I’m supposed to watch over him, not parent him. He isn’t perfect and neither are you, Kevin. Nick has never been good at showing emotion when it’s appropriate and you know that. He’s a teenager. Teenagers are moody. We’ve known him for six years now, I would think you know his mood swings. He probably just doesn’t know how to deal with all of this and that video game is his only way to. I wish I had a distraction like that myself. Maybe you just need to lay off him a little bit, you’ve been going at him all day. Also, we haven’t any word that anything happened yet so I think Nick’s fine right now.” 


Kevin was surprised at Brian and his attitude towards the whole thing. Sure, Nick was 18 but he wasn’t a child anymore. All Kevin wanted was for the boy to have a little more responsibility and respect for others. As time went on that day, Kevin felt a little bad for picking at Nick so much, and when they got the phone call from Howie that his sister had passed away, he decided that he would be the one to talk to Nick. Nick was hiding in his bunk, reading a Spider Man comic book with his flashlight. 


“Hey, kiddo. Reading anything good?” Kevin asked after he knocked on the wall above Nick’s bunk to get his attention. 


“Come to yell at me some more?” Nick asked moodily. 


“I’m sorry about that. I just sometimes forget you’re a teenager. I came to tell you that Howie called.” 


Nick set the flashlight down and sat up in his bunk, his hair falling in his face. He stopped to push it back again, his eyes wide. 


“Is everything okay?” 


“He didn’t…..Howie didn’t make it in time. His sister passed away.” Kevin said shakily, his eyes watering. They all knew Howie’s family pretty well from when the band first started out because they would go over there for dinner after band rehearsal and for holidays when they couldn’t go home to their family. Howie’s mom and AJ’s mom were always kind to the other guys in the group. 


“Wow. I hope Howie is feeling okay. I know he was really close to….to Caroline.” Nick whispered. Kevin stood there and watched Nick’s eyes well up before Nick wiped them to hide the fact that he was upset. Nick was always around Howie’s family in the group’s early days because his mom would let him sleep over rather than coming back and forth to bring Nick to rehearsals in Orlando so in a way Howie’s family was his family too. 


“Nick, I-“ 


Nick surprised him by coming out of the bunk and hugging him, tears spilling down his face. He cried for a few minutes before speaking. 


“I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t know h-how to d-deal with it, and-“ 


“No, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. I know you and Howie are close. I know how much you miss your own sisters.” Kevin interrupted. He held Nick close, his hand on the back of Nick’s head. 


“I don’t know what I would do if something would happen to one of my sisters. I really don't. I miss my family, Kevin.” Nick sobbed. 


"It's okay, little man. I miss mine too." 


The two of them cried together for a while before they went to bed. When Howie came back from visiting his family, everyone made sure to try to make him feel loved and to try to keep him in good spirits. The tour continued, the five of them tighter than before. Kevin was grateful they all had each other.