JULY 16, 2013


Our eyes met across the crowded room and I was lost in time. A long goodbye at the train station. The lingering kiss as the whistle blew. It's song the signal tearing us apart. A war I never should have enlisted to become a part of. It was as if I were living some sort of black and white movie you see on TCM or AMC but it felt like I'd actually lived it.

It couldn't be though. How was it possible to know someone you've never met yet know the feel of her touch or the exact color her cheeks turned when you paid her a compliment? Sounds crazy I know but I wouldn't have believed it if it weren't happening to me.

Luscious ruby red lips, a big navy blue bow holding her light brown hair away from her face. A white dress with polka dots matching the bow in her hair. Her crystal blue eyes glistening with tears. My heart aching as I attempt to brush away something I know I can't fix. Promises spilling from my mouth that I know I can't keep. The most passionate kiss my young lips have ever felt. The dreadful train whistle.... Oh My God! What the hell was going on?!

Must be insanity because I had to be out of my mine to actually believe what was happening to me. There had to be a reasonable explanation I deduced. Okay, I still hadn't figured it out. How could I when I really had no idea as to what was taking place. Of course there were other young couples saying their goodbyes but we were the last ones standing on that platform trying so hard to be strong but failing miserably. Good Lord No! Why can't I shake her?

There we were, present day at a charity event I'd help organize What possessed me to suggest a theme?
It wasn't like I planned to come face to face with something I couldn't explain. Maybe I was just letting my imagination run away with me. After all, we were all playing dress up from another time and era. I couldn't have foreseen the scenery unfolding in my brain. I knew I'd done some things in my past that made me question my life choices but I wasn't being given a choice here. There was a life I'd lived before. A life I didn't understand. Couldn't understand. Wasn't sure I wanted to understand.


She looked away coyly then pinched the straw at her lips before taking a sip of the cola she was drinking. She winked and it was my turn to blush. I never blush. Okay, this was absolutely nuts!
She had to be a mirage. Although she was a dead ringer for my grandma when she was young and I'd always been told that I could have been mistaken for my grandfather back in the day. See, I found some rationale to all the madness going through my head.

“Joe. Joe!” I heard Donnie's voice the second time.

I still couldn't draw my gaze from hers. “What's up?”

“Uh, we're on in five. This is your gig man. We're just here to help out remember?”

Man! I was going off the deep end! “Sorry. I'll be right there.” I thought he was going to leave but he turned back.

“What's going on Joe?” He'd noticed my obvious distraction

“I'm not sure I even know.”

“I know she's hot but even I could tear my eyes away from her . What gives?” As he turned my back to her.

I could still see her face though. The curve of her cheek. The flutter of her eyelashes. She was embedded in my mind now and there was no way around it.”Do you believe in past lives?”

He shrugged.”It's possible I guess. Wait.... you think you know her?”

“I think I've lost it Donnie. I feel like I did have one with her before. I don't know the ending but I remember her heart breaking because I was leaving her.”

“So you left her. There's a reason for everything Joe.”

“I know but riddle me this, how is it I know her name?”

“Maybe because you met her earlier in the night?”Donnie suggested but I knew that wasn't it.

It wasn't because I knew I'd have remembered a beauty as timeless as hers. A love that transcended all the ages. I'm a hopeless romantic. Sue me. You should all be so lucky to have found something so rare.”That's not it.”

“Okay loverboy, tell me what you think it is.”

Without hesitation, a name I hadn't ever spoke flowed as natural as day from my mouth.”Evelyn.”

1942

“Evelyn?” My head turned back to his voice. I was trying to process what the love of my life had just told me. He'd enlisted in the navy. That meant he could be shipped off into this ugly war at any given time. I knew it was possible. There was a draft but he just up and volunteered himself without so much as telling me. How was I supposed to feel? Pearl Harbor had just been bombed not two months earlier and here Joseph was telling me he was going into the same service that was so heavily affected by it.

“What?” My voice was shaky. I really didn't want to look at him either. I was afraid to. Can you blame me?

“Please don't be mad at me Evie.”

“How can I not be. You're choosing to leave me.”

“Is that what you think?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

“You're supposed to think what a brave man I am for leaving his home and family to serve his country in it's time of need.”

“Seriously?” My brow rose as did my eyes. I wasn't angry really, just frustrated.

He'd kept his distance but I heard his voice get closer.”Oh baby, did you really think I'd ever leave you without good reason? “His hands sliding over my folded arms.”Evie. Please look at me.”

My gaze had dropped to the floor yet again. I love him so much. I felt his finger under my chin tilting it back up to his gaze. The most beautiful pair of blue eyes I'd ever known in all of my twenty two years on this earth. The color of the sky on a summer day to be exact.”I'm sorry Joseph. It's just that, well, so many have already lost their lives. I don't want you losing yours.”

“Evelyn. Didn't our Fathers make it home from the first world war?”

“Yes but this is different. This is real. Those are just stories. You're leaving in three weeks and I can't do a think about it.”

“You can write me a letter every day just to tell me how your day was.”

“It won't be the same.”

“I know it won't be but I have to do this. It's who I am.”

I sighed. He was right. It was whom he was. I wouldn't have loved him any other way.




THREE WEEKS LATER


So there we stood. Tears streaming down my face. He was really leaving. I knew I told him I would be okay with it but in a few short hours the train that was carrying him out of my life would taking him to a place that would be putting him the middle of the ocean for god only knows how long. I tried to smile but it was a weak attempt. I knew he was struggling too but the time had come. He took my face in his hands and brushed his thumbs underneath my eyes.

“I'll be back before you know it.”He promised .

“You don't know that.”

“Your Dad made it back. My Dad made it back. I'll make it back because I have something worth making it back to.”He smiled.

I was a good girl and I should have let him kiss me but I needed to feels his lips pressed against mine if it was going to be the last time they were. My hands slid down his lean, muscular arms; grasping the forearms that still held my face. I felt his tongue slide over my lips and I parted mine. His hands had slid down my body and pulled me tighter against his as our tongues twisted; tasting one another. My fingers slid into his hair. I felt his hand venture where I'd never let it go before. Below my waist and that's when the train whistle blew for the second time. Breathlessly we broke apart with one last brush of the lips.”Be strong. I love you.”

Those were the last words I heard from his lips for two months.

Dearest Evelyn,

I love you more than the moon and stars I see every night from the deck of the ship I'm stationed on.
There isn't a day that goes by that my heart aches and longs to be with you again. Your picture hangs on the headboard of my bunk so your face is the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing before I close my eyes at night. I dream of the last time I kissed you and held you in my arms. I'll be kissing you like that again soon. Very soon.

I have some leave coming up so warm up those luscious lips of yours because I'll be kissing them long after the last train for the night pulls out. Love you baby!



Yours Forever,

Joseph



I wrote that letter two weeks before I arrived and hoped that I would be greeted by the girl that made my life complete. I even sent a telegram with all the information of my arrival time. I looked out the window of the train searching for her face in the sea of women and families waiting for their loved one's arrival. There she was. More gorgeous than ever. The steel wheeled transport finally pulled to a halt and I grabbed my duffel as quickly as the rest of them. It seemed like forever to get off of the train as seconds turned into minutes and the minutes seeming to turn into hours when in reality it had only been five minutes.


Then there she was. Two months had been an eternity to not be able to hold her in my arms. Have her body pressed against mine. The feel of her soft, sweet lips kissing me. Dropping my bag, I pulled her into my arms and kissed my Evelyn breathless. She blushed when our lips drew apart. There was nothing wrong with kissing my girl but the fact that it was so bold in public made her self conscious. I knew that about her and I loved her for it. I didn't want a woman in my life that gave it away so freely. I also knew that we only had a short time to share before I was shipped off yet again and out of her warm embrace. Evie and I had been together a little over a year and a half before I left and I knew the day I met her that I wanted to spend the rest of my living days with her. I wanted to do it right but unfortunately that's another thing this war would not allow us to do traditionally. As we stood there staring into one another's eyes, I simply requested of her,”Marry me.”

“Okay.”

Apparently she thought I was teasing.”You know I'm serious.”

She nodded.

Wasn't she supposed to get all giddy and reward me with a...oh wait, there it is. Those delicious lips and wait, there's a new development. Her tongue slipping in there. Wow! She needed to stop if we were going to make it to our wedding night. I pulled away and she looked at me confused;arms still draped around my neck though. I ran my hands over her lower arm and said,”Not that I wasn't enjoying that Evie but maybe we should save some of that for our wedding night.” My heart sank when I recognized the disappointment in her eyes.”Which I would like to be as soon as possible.”

The light returned to her eyes but now she was worried.

“But what about rings and I have to have a dress and ...”She rambled and I slowed her down.

“I'll get the rings and you can wear that gorgeous white suit dress you have.”

“You remember that?”

“How could I forget it? You were wearing it the day we met.”

She kissed me once again.”So when are we going to make this official?”

“As soon as possible. We'll need to get the rings and a license.”

“What are we waiting for ?” She grinned and took my hand.”Let's get this done.”



Two days later, we became Mr. And Mrs. I was just as nervous as she was about this but for a different reason. I knew this would be the first time Evelyn was going to be intimate. I think you can understand my concerns as a man in love. I didn't want to hurt her but that was inevitable right? I don't know. I'm a guy.

As the bellboy moved our bags into the room, I swept her up into my arms and carried her over the threshold. I let her down and tipped the guy before returning my attention to Evelyn. The door was closed and we were alone. Completely and undisturbed alone. This was it. I turned to find her sitting on the edge of the bed and joined her.”You know we can wait a little while if you want. I-” She cut me off with her finger over my lips and softly smiled.

Without so much as a word, she stood and started casting her clothes aside. First, her gloves. Finger by delicate fingers, she parted with them. The jacket was the next go. She flung it across the room. She sleeveless dress came next. She turned her back to me and eased the zipper down. Inch by inch, she slowly eased out of it until it settled around her ankles. Kicking it aside, she eased out of the slip, her body putting the strain in my uniform. She continued silently and turned back to me. Resting her foot on my thigh, her eyes met mine as she rolled each stocking down the length of her gorgeous legs.

My breath caught and I thought maybe I was more nervous about this than she was. Sure I'd seen her in a bathing suit but it was different. I removed my uniform top and the undershirt just before she wrapped that silk stocking of hers around the back of my neck; pulling my mouth to hers. Her knee rest between my legs as my hands moved to her hips; languidly making that trip up her back I detached the clips on her bra as we continued our exploration of one another. Our lips separated as hers moved down over my shoulder and lightly upon my chest.

She reached down and unzipped my slacks; her lips moving back to mine. I got the feeling maybe she was afraid to touch me there or maybe she wanted the lights off.”Evie?”

Her big blue eyes meeting mine.”Yes?”

“Do you want me to turn the lights off?”

“I want to see all of you. Do you not want to see all of me?”

“Then why did you stop?”

“I didn't. I just did the legwork.”She teased and moved back onto the bed. She tossed her bra aside. I stood and slid out of my slacks.

My heart was racing as I moved over her. She didn't seem nervous at all and if she was, she was hiding it like an ace.”I love you Evelyn Theresa.”

“ And I love you Joseph Mulrey.”

I'd been with a woman before but it'd never felt like this. I needed to love every inch of her with all that I had. I wanted it to be good for her as well. My lips explored every inch of her body. Her fingers tangling in my hair as I wrapped my lips around a nipple; tugging ever so gently. Her fair skin delicately scented with lavender as my tongue slid down over her stomach; circling her belly button. I looked up to find anticipation in her eyes. I latched my fingers on each side and her hips shifted to accommodate me in my task. I let my lips take a journey over the length of her legs as I removed the pristine white garment. It joined everything else as did my remaining clothing.

Her body was wide open. She was offering herself and this is where I let the nerves get me.

“Let me touch it,”she uttered softly as her eyes met with what I considered one of my best parts and all guys say that but I'd never had a complaint about it.

Her tiny hand moved down and wrapped around it. Touching, feeling, stroking all the while my eyes never leaving hers. I was going to blow a gasket if she didn't stop though. I needed to feel her. Be inside her.

“Evie please.”
“You don't like that?”

“I like it very much but I want it be inside you.”

“I do too. I just was going to see how long you'd let me go.” Biting her lip.

This was my Evie? Maybe just a little shocked but as I said before, maybe she was using this bad girl to cover her nerves.”I love you so much baby. Are you sure you're ready?”

She nodded.

“I just don't want to hurt you .”

“I'd be more hurt if my husband didn't make love to me on my wedding night. I want you to.”

I positioned myself at her opening and slowly pushed in. She winced as the barrier of her body broke with my penetration. I took my time in entering her. I knew it was going to happen but we were man and wife and she was now a woman in the physical sense. I erred on the side of caution as my rhythm increased.

Her legs wrapped around me as I kept a steadied pace. Her fingernails dug into my back as her body tightened around mine; her teeth sinking into my shoulder as she hit that peak. I'd waited so long for this moment that my body being in overdrive, I joined her in that state of bliss. We lay there wrapped up in each other; quietly enjoying the silence before I asked her.”Are you okay?”

“I hurt a little but I'll be fine.” Kissing my shoulder.

We spent the next three days getting to know each other intimately before I had to leave. I couldn't have asked for more. I was serving my country and I was married to the woman of my dreams.

Mrs. Joseph M. McIntyre. Had a nice ring to it. I didn't have a diamond on my wedding day but that's okay because I had him. Sure the gold band was there and he promised me when this war was over that I would have that diamond that I deserved.

It was so sweet how concerned he was for me that first time. That he loved me so much he didn't want me to hurt and after seeing how well the good lord above had gifted him, the fear took over me. I didn't need him any more worried than he already was or he never would have touched me. I wanted him to touch me. I'd been a good girl and saved myself for my wedding night. I'm thankful everyday that I did because he was a kind , caring guy that wasn't only out for his own satisfaction. And trust me when I say that if I'd had any other men at that point, they would have failed by comparison.. He gave me so much pleasure and I learned all the things that made him tick.

It was the first time I'd ever seen a man naked. Our mothers always teaching us that the act itself was only for procreation. Why? Maybe so we would wait until we lay in the marriage bed with the man we loved. So we would be giving him 'that gift'. I didn't know as it was such a gift for men to break the woman they loved. We're not supposed to understand. It's a given. You don't ask the how or why. It just is. I couldn't buy all the hoopla but I didn't really care. I was in love but sadly my husband had to leave me yet again. Okay so this time he's my husband but I think I always knew deep down that he would be.

We spent our last night together at his place which was now ours. We'd fallen asleep and I woke up to the feel of him playing with my hair. As I looked up, his hand resting behind his head. I propped myself up on his body and smiled. It was nice to not have to use words to communicate but I knew he wanted to say something.”Something on your mind handsome?”

“Just you and the fact that for the first time in three days, I won't be waking up next to you tomorrow morning.”

“You have me here now. We have a couple more hours before you have to catch your train.” I raised my brow suggestively as my lips lightly brushed against his firm chest.

“What would your parents think young lady?”He teased as I let my lips work his body; my head disappearing beneath the sheet.

I took him in my hand and started stroking. I thought I was getting good at this. I felt the sheet leave my body and I looked up to him. I could see that he liked what I was doing so I took it one step further and wrapped my mouth around the tip of his masculinity. Slowly, I moved it further down until I was giving him oral pleasure. My hand worked in sync with with my mouth. His hand on the back of my head; fisting in my hair as he voiced his appreciation.

Knowing how exicted he was had my juices flowing and I needed to have him one last time before he was on that ship and gone God only knows how long. I stopped what I was doing and straddled his body. I eased onto his and moaned as my body acclimated to his yet again. I leaned over and captured his lips.” I love the way you feel Mr. McIntyre.”

“And I love the way you feel Mrs. McIntyre,”He replied as my hips continued to roll; our lips meeting as his arm wrapped around my waist. Holding me close as his thrust claimed my body from beneath.

Wow! That felt really good. His body still deep within mine,turned me back against the bed as I held on. He drew my leg up around his hip as he delved as deep as he could within me. This time there was urgency in our lovemaking and the intensity and speed with which he took me was incredible. Slowing only to taste my mouth and increase my enjoyment as his lips wrapped around my nipple.

That apparently been the trigger this time because my body went off. I was spiraling out of control. I'd felt all the joy I should have but this was something else consuming my body. I looked down to see him rolling his thumb around that part of my body that my mother told me would never make me happy. Apparently my husband knew about that joy button because it set me off like nothing you could ever imagine. I cried out his name and he followed in the surrender of my satisfaction. As he rest against me, I just held onto him, not saying a word , just praying this wouldn't be the last time I held him .


But God didn't answer that prayer. Two months later, I received a telegram at the factory where I worked. I was so numb I don't even remember how I managed to make it home. I don't remember leaving but I must have because I was at home. Alone. With that God awful sheet of paper sitting on the coffee table. Somebody must have ripped it from my hand because there was a torn corner. It still held the same disturbing news. The news I never thought I would be getting.



TO: Mrs. Evelyn T. McIntyre
FROM: The United States Naval Corps


Dear Mrs. McIntyre:

We regret to inform you that while in the line of duty, Seaman, First Class, Joseph M. McIntyre sacrificed his life serving the United States of America. We owe him our deepest gratitude.
Our condolences to you and your family.

The United States Naval Corps




I read it over and over thinking this was a mistake. There was no way God could be so cruel to me. How could he give me something so wonderful then rip it out of my hands just like that. I couldn't believe there was a God that would do that to me. I just couldn't . What was I going to do without him? He was my life and now he was gone. Gone!

I cried myself to sleep that night and woke up curled up on the couch. It was still unfathomable to me to know that my husband was now another casualty of this war. I never wanted him to go but there was nothing I could do to stop him. He'd made up his mind. The most ironic part of it all is I received the news on the anniversary of the day we met. July 17th.

I didn't know what to do. I was so overwrought and I didn't leave the house for days. I cried so much my stomach ached. People called and knocked on the door but I didn't answer. I didn't want to. I knew they were worried but without him in my life, I truly believed I couldn't go on. Didn't have the strength to go on without him next to me.

I'd moved to the bedroom. I rose from the bed and went to the bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and saw the sleeping pills. I knew it was wrong but I wasn't going to stay on this planet without him by my side sharing our life. I took the the small bottle out of the cabinet and grabbed the glass sitting on the bathroom sink. I consumed the whole bottle and went back into the bedroom. I held the frame holding our wedding picture in one hand and the telegram in the other. As I slipped into unconsciousness, I saw his eyes gazing back into mine. I smiled.

That's how they found me two days later. The wedding picture clutched against my chest with the telegram clutched in the other hand; resting against the bed.

JULY 17, 2013


I wanted to approach her last night but by the time we left the stage she had left the party. Like fate had crossed our paths just to make sure we felt like we were were absolutely nuts. Maybe I was just living in the moment of a fantasy. A charity event themed for an era we'd never know. In a place we'd never been. It was crazy now that I come to think about it.

But I couldn't stop thinking about. I couldn't help it. I knew everything about her. Everything that made her who she was. It kept me up a better part of the night just trying to work through the insanity I'm sure it was. Trying to decipher what was real and make believe had my head spinning. They say everybody in the world has a twin but to look like somebody you've only know from pictures is a whole other story. Like I said, the family said I could have easily passed for my grandfather but I never knew him because he died five years before I was born. Pictures were all I had.

My grandmother was beautiful as well. And every bit this Evelyn I thought I knew. A beauty that is timeless. Maybe I'm a little biased as she was family but I felt like she was family without one word ever being spoken between us. None of it made sense but she was just there. The love of my life. Maybe even lives if you believe that you share eternity with that one special person. Why was she mine and why didn't I understand what was going on? I wanted to. I wanted to know what it really felt like to touch, taste and feel every part of her.

I had to give up. After all what were the odds that our paths were likely to cross again in this lifetime? About a million to one I would imagine. I just had to let her go. Pretend I never came face to face with possibly the only woman I'd ever loved every time I stepped onto the planet. You couldn't blame me though. It's the one thing we spend all our lives looking for and few ever find. That eternity to call our own.

I was jolted back to reality when the tour bus came to a complete stop at our destination. The rest of the guys had brought their families and significant others while I was flying solo this trip. It was the faint scent of lavender that caught my attention. I know, I know. Psycho but it was right there I swear. I looked at the group filing down the aisle of the bus and saw a few gray haired couples but it was coming from....where? I didn't know. I joined the crowd as we made our way toward the tourism center at Pearl Harbor. They informed us we'd be seeing a short film before we set foot on the boat to visit the memorial itself. I was still picking up that scent. Where was it coming from?


We followed our guide into the small room and seated ourselves as we pleased. She was close. I didn't know how but I could feel her. She was there. Were we getting that second chance? Please say yes. The lights dimmed. What showed on the screen was more than just a history lesson, it was the history being made. The stuff you learn in books is one thing but to actually be there was quite another. I heard a gasp come from somewhere nearby and I knew it was her. Don't ask me how. I just did. Seriously, how can you explain something you don't even understand? Donnie already thought I'd gone off the deep end. I just prayed it was one of those things he kept to himself until we got my psych evaluation back.


As we exited the theater, out of the corner of my eye, a wisp of light brown hair drew my attention toward her. Her head turned briefly to acknowledge a comment from another tourist from the group and that's when I realized I wasn't as crazy as I thought I was. It was her. I was getting that second chance but being as we were going out to the memorial itself, I figured I'd bide my time until she was alone. Good thing too because she was seated next to one of those elderly couples I mentioned earlier. She was very cordial to them. Laughing when it was appropriate. It must have been one heck of a story. I watched as the breeze tossed her long brown hair around like it was nothing

I was falling deeper and deeper with each gesture I watched her make. I think she was totally oblivious to my lingering gaze because she never once turned her head to look at me. Either that or it was if we both knew what going on and let the fates take us where they were supposed to. I must have been out of my mind for being able to detect that slightest of her actions. Generosity was her nature and she was extending it to the couple that had taken to her almost as much as I was taken with her. Like she was their daughter or something . I loved the sound of her laugh. The coy aversion of her eyes before she'd look back up with the most gorgeous smile. Oh, I was so far gone.


The boat slowed and docked at the memorial and we exited in a timely manner. Please just give me five minutes I prayed to the man upstairs as we all moved inside; surveying the wreckage the Japanese had done to such a massive piece of machinery. I watched her as she studied the metal graveyard beneath us. She headed toward the back to the wall of names where very few had ventured to yet. My eyes ran over the long list of the men that given their lives for the mass destruction that was this boat. I turned to watch her briefly and snapped my gaze back when she turned hers toward mine. I was trying to play it as cool as I could until I felt the timing was right. I edged toward the information plate that explained what we were looking at. It was at that moment I had to know. Was she my long lost love or was I just dreaming? I took a deep breath and spoke that name I shouldn't have known but somehow did.”Evelyn?”


She turned her gaze to mine and when our eyes connected, once again we were lost in time.