Prologue:


CINDERELLA. Now there’s an amazing story. My favorite in fact. A beautiful girl hidden away from the world until fate said it was her turn to shine. There’s always a silent prayer in my heart that one-day fate will give me that same chance, but, as if you haven’t already guessed, I’m no Cinderella. Pretty much the only thing we have in common is the name. Yeah, you heard me right, my drunk-ass mother actually named me Cinderella. She’s the ONLY person allowed to call me that and that’s only because if I kick her ass I’ll be homeless. You can just call me Cindy.

Unlike Cinderella my evil mother is actually blood related and I still have a father, sort of. He comes around every so often to steal money from me and fuck my mom – if she’s drunk enough that is. Then again, I don’t know when she’s ever not drunk. She’s drunk as shit all the time and she’s a damn bitch, but she did give me life. Not much of one, but life all the same.

I live in a shit hole town in Kentucky south of Lexington where I work two jobs. My day starts at 6 am when I go to work at the only auto repair shop in town. CARS. My father’s one love and the only thing the son of a bitch ever taught me about. Comes easy to me though and it pays well so I’m not complaining. I work with a couple of dumb-ass guys who I happen to love. We’ve been best friends all my life. Consequently I’ve picked up quite the colorful vocabulary and I’m not exactly what you’d call “lady-like.” In fact Danny and John would probably think I’m a dike if I hadn’t fucked ‘em both at one point.

I try to be a good girl, but my momma didn’t exactly teach me any morals. I’m no slut but I do like to fuck. Almost as much as I like to use the word. It just has to be on my terms. Nobody touches me without my permission. My father tried it once, when I was 14. Kicked him so hard I actually retracted one of his testicles. As soon as he was able he kicked the shit out of me but it was worth it. The bastard never touched me again. After that, Danny and John taught me how to fight and now nobody will ever touch me again.

Anyway, after a long-ass day in a dirty shop I go home long enough to shower and change into anything I can find that’s not covered in grease – which isn’t much. Then it’s off to my second job as a bartender. ALCOHOL. My mother’s one love and the only thing she ever taught me that was worth a damn. The place is called Hal’s and it’s the only sad excuse for a bar this shit hole has, which is why I know every face in this godforsaken town. At least that makes life interesting. A bartender really does hear it all and there’s more than enough dirt in this town to go around.

I hate having to work so much but I do it to keep the heat running in the shity rundown trailer my mom and I live in. That, and somebody has to pay to keep my mom drunk. She’s a bitch all the time but it’s a thousand times worse when she’s sober. On the bright side, working seventy hours a week keeps me away from home, if you can call it that. When I’m not working, I’m usually hangin’ out with Danny and John, kickin’ back a beer arguing over who’s the best at “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”.

I know it’s not glamorous but it’s life, my life, and it’s all I’ve ever known. Again, I’m no Cinderella and I by no means bare my situation with a smile all the time. Nor do I periodically burst into song and talk to rodents, but I do try and make the best of it. Sure I occasionally fantasize about the day prince charming comes to whisk me away from this hellhole, but I definitely am not waiting for it. Hell, I doubt I deserve it. I don’t have time for that nonsense anyway. Even if my prince ever did show up he’d have to bite me in the ass to get my attention and then I’d probably kick the shit out of him for biting me. I’m hopeless.

Chapter 1: Once upon a time

I really hate to sound cliché, but hell, once upon a time really is the best way to start a story. When somebody says the words ‘once upon a time’ you know you’re in for a ride. And well, there’s really no other way to describe what happened to me. So, that being said, once upon a time on my 28th birthday, I just knew trouble was headed my way. Can’t exactly explain it but from the minute I woke up I just had this un-nerving feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It was a Thursday, not that it mattered, and I got dressed for work same as I always did. I quietly snuck out the door so as not to disturb the sleeping dragon in the room next door. She was so wasted that she’d drunk herself into a coma the night before and surely wouldn’t remember exactly what happened. Nor how much she owed me one.

Before I walked out I quickly checked my make-up in the mirror. Not the kind of make-up girls put on to make themselves pretty. Well, the same kind I guess, but I only used it to cover up what I could of the fresh bruise across the left side of my face. You see, Dad showed up last night and got a little physical with mom before I got home from work. The damn bastard gets off on beating helpless women. You could hear the commotion from the entrance to the trailer park. Nothing says welcome home like, “Suck my dick bitch before I break your fucking face.”

I heard mamma whimpering for help as I walked inside. Daddy bloodied her up pretty good this time. “Get the fuck out.” I said coldly when I found them.

Daddy forced a smile at me but we both know the prick is afraid of me and he instantly stepped away from my mom. “You gonna stop me darlin’?” He slurred through his drunkenness, “We all remember what happened the last time you did that.”

“Yeah, you’re a fucking big shot, beating up 14 year old girls and drunk women. I’m not afraid of you.” I said standing my ground.

That’s when he flew at me. He must have been piss drunk this time because in the last 24 years he’d never had the balls to try it. He really surprised me; caught me off my guard. That’s the only reason he got a shot in. It was a good one too. Knocked me on my ass, the bastard, I’ll be popping the Excedrine for a week now. I got up quick enough though and it didn’t take much to lay him out after that, two or three punches is all. Then I dragged his ass into the back of his own pick-up truck and hauled him down to the sheriff’s station. We’re on a first name basis over there. All I had to do was hand the clerk my daddy’s keys and they knew. My face was starting to swell by the time I got there so Daddy will be in jail for a good week this time.

Anyway, fast forward back to the next morning, my birthday. I had a massive headache and my face was throbbing. I was surprised as how bad it looked. I didn’t know how much a face could swell. I think maybe he cracked my cheekbone but I sure as hell can’t afford a trip to the ER for an x-ray just so they can tell me to go home and take some asprin, so I popped a couple of painkillers and went to work. I was running a little late so Danny and John were already workin’ on Mr. Thompson’s old Ford. Piece of shit car was in our shop more than he drove it but he was old school and refused to drive anything else.

I breezed past them heading straight for the office barely hearing the shit they were giving me for being late. I knew they were joking but I just wasn’t in the mood. I slammed the door shut behind me and poured myself a cup of coffee. I didn’t come out of the office for nearly 20 minutes. Thy guys had known me long enough not to bother me and I was grateful for the privacy. I may be the toughest girl on this planet but even I can’t be strong all the time.

I never cry, ever, but that morning was the closest I’d ever come to it. Not because of what happened the night before, but because I was just fucking tired of all the shit. No matter what happened it seemed that shit was always waiting for me somewhere and for the first time in my life I felt like I just couldn’t keep doing it. But I had no choice and I knew it. I also knew that if I stayed hold up in the office for more than a half and hour the guys were bound to break the door down, so I sucked it up, finished my cup of coffee and taped up my hand. – I may have cracked a knuckle or two last night as well but shit, that pain was good pain.

I pulled my long dark ponytail through my baseball cap and let out a deep breath as I met their curious eyes for the first time. Danny saw my face and his eyes filled with anger. “I’m gonna kill the son of a bitch! You tell me who did it Cin! Was it Hank? I’m gonna kill the fucker!”

You have to understand, Danny is very protective of me. The night my dad nearly killed me, I went to his house for help. He was always kind of sweet on me and I was so insecure. I needed to feel safe that night and that’s exactly how Danny makes me feel. He cleaned me up and then held me all night long. It was the most violent and yet the most tender night of my life. I lost my virginity that night. Danny and tried to date for a while but we really are just made to be best friends. He’s the big brother I never had.

“He’s in jail, alright? Just relax and don’t worry about me, I guarantee he feels worse than I do right now.” I said forcing a harsh laugh as I showed him my bandaged hand.

John grabbed my hand and examined it closely. He was clearly upset but it wasn’t anger like Danny. His was more worry. John always worries. Not just about me, but about everything, although I suspect he worries about me the most. John is the most girlie of the three of us but that ain’t sayin’ much. Some days I have half a mind to accuse him of being in love with me but because of my history with Danny, he’d never say it.

One night when I was 17 and Danny was dating this tramp from the town over one, John and I got a little too drunk and well, like I said, I’ve fucked ‘em both. Danny and I had long since been over but that didn’t stop him from being a jackass and over reacting about the whole thing. He gave John his first shiner and then didn’t speak to either of us for at least a month. Eventually we all got over it and decided that sleeping with each other should be a thing of the past. We’ve been like siblings ever since.

“You sure you’re ok?” John asked me knowing I probably wouldn’t tell him even if I wasn’t.

I simply nodded and Danny broke the awkward silence before it could begin. “Alright then, this piece of shit’s not going to fix itself.”

“I got this one boys. I feel like beating the shit out of something. You can do the 50k tune up on the Toyota.”

Danny and John didn’t question me. They both knew better than that. Besides, I was by far the best with a mystery and Mr. Thompson’s Ford was always a challenge. The guys left me alone to cope the only way I knew how, by getting’ dirty under the hood of a car. Like I told you, cars just come easily to me. It’s like I’m in my zone or something when I’m tinkering with an engine so I happily leaned far over to see if I could figure out what was wrong with her today.

I heard the familiar sound of Pete’s tow truck roll up the drive but I didn’t bother to acknowledge it. I was in no way ready to deal with that son of a bitch today. The pervert practically drools every time he sees me. His breathing gets all heavy and then he hurries back to his truck as if we don’t all know what he’s doing under the steering wheel. Fucking hick.

John went out to greet the frequent client and I heard the sound of unfamiliar voices. Three of them, male. Definitely not from around here. City boys. My curiosity was peeked and I glanced over my shoulder trying to get a look at the strangers. There was a tall blonde. By no means fat but definitely a little on the stocky side. Not really my type at all. He walked with his chest slightly puffed. I bet he’s a cocky little prick.

He was joking around with a – Hello, what do we have here? Shaved head, tattoos, big brown eyes and a rock hard body showing through his tight white tank. Everything about him screamed trouble. Nothing wrong with getting a little city boy every now and then, DAMN! I felt myself getting a little hot so I quickly focused my attention back on the car.

Wait, there was three. Didn’t I say I heard three voices? I turned back around but the only person still there was fucking Pete, undressing me with his eyes. Fucking pervert. I shot him a warning look. Danny saw the trouble behind it and quickly stepped in before I beat the shit out of the fat fuck. God I hate that man! Danny shooed him off, no doubt to go jack off to some twisted fantasy involving me. I went back to work having completely forgot all about the strangers that had arrived with him.

I was still fuming over Pete and never heard the office door open. Before I knew it Danny was dangling a set of keys in my face. “Ever had the pleasure of a Beamer before?” he teased as if I actually make love to the cars or something.

“Fucking city boys and their fucking Beamers! Expensive pieces of shit ya know.” I spat without looking up. “What fucking rich prick drives his BMW around a shit hole like this?”

“That would be my best friend.” I heard someone smirk, “And he’s really partial to his ‘piece of shit’ so I’d appreciate it if you would take as much care of it as you do this fine looking ass of yours.”

My fingers clenched into fists at his comment about my ass, but when I felt the stranger’s hand reach out and grab a handful I lost it. “What the fuck!” I screamed.

I whirled around and without warning punched the guy’s fucking lights out. Danny must have seen it coming but made no attempt to stop me. In fact if I hadn’t done it I’m pretty sure he would have. I shook my head in shame disgusted by how easily he went down yet it still brought me satisfaction. “Fucking city boy!” I smirked as I stepped over the blonde nearly twice my size lying in a daze on the greasy concrete.

I stormed off to the office before I could do more damage. I’m pretty sure I heard the fine motherfucker laughing about the whole thing, but I didn’t stop to find out. I swung the office door open just as John was coming through it with the third and final city boy. The one I hadn’t yet seen. They scared the shit out of me and I screamed. “Jesus fucking Christ!”

I’m not sure why but the poor stranger nearly froze when I yelled. I don’t know if it was fear or surprise or what but it was almost pathetic. This guy seemed different from the cocky prick on the ground and the fine fuck who seemed to think he was don juan or some shit. No, he was different. Shy or something. He stood only an inch or two taller than me, which for a man is a fucking short. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, like he was part Mexican or some shit. But not like any Mexican I’d ever seen, his features were soft, pampered. Maybe he was gay?

Whatever the fuck his deal was, he seemed confused as his eyes shifted from me to the blond. “He’ll think twice before he grabs a woman’s ass again.” I explained before I slammed the door to the office shut for the second time that day.

I kept myself busy in the office with random paperwork until the fuckers left the shop. Honestly I should have thanked him I guess. I really did feel better after I hit him and it made for a good laugh the rest of the day. “You workin’ Hal’s tonight?” Danny asked me before I left.

I actually laughed at the ridiculous question. “You can’t be serious. Kentucky’s playing Duke. Everyone in the fucking town is going to be there tonight.”

Danny smirked realizing the stupidity of his comment. Small towns take their college basketball very seriously. “Just don’t kick anyone’s ass if we lose.”

“You know I can’t promise that.” I teased him back

Danny and John both seemed glad to have me back after the shitty day. John grinned wickedly. “What’d ya say we close the shop tomorrow and get piss-ass drunk tonight in honor of Cin’s birthday?”

“Fuck ya!” Danny hollered.

“Close the shop? You mean take a three day weekend?”

“It’s my fucking shop. I can close it whenever the hell I want.”

“And the city boy’s Beamer?”

“Let the mother fuckers wait!” John smirked.

I love John. He’s really the fucking greatest sometimes. I may complain about my life a lot but I really do have the best friends anyone could ever ask for. He saw the smile creep over my face and that was that. Within ten minutes the shop was dark and sign written on a large greasy piece of cardboard hung in the window reading: shop closed ‘till Monday due to some serious fucking hangovers. I smiled when I saw the “Happy fucking birthday Cin!” added at the bottom. Maybe today wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

Chapter 2: The New Guy

After a nice hot shower and another handful of Excedrine I was feeling much better. I desperately needed to do laundry so the only thing I had clean was my one pair of nice jeans. My “goin’ out” jeans, not that I did that often. They were sexy super low hip huggers that fit me like jeans were meant to fit a woman. I don’t know that my face is all that pretty, especially not now that it’s fucking black and blue, and mamma never taught me how to look like a girl, but Danny and John always tell me I have a body that drives men wild. For a chick I’m pretty cut. Probably from all that fighting I always seem to be doing. That, and lifting heavy shit in the shop all day.

Anyway, my jeans were killer and I cursed myself for wearing them to work because I knew I was going to spill shit on them all night. I just told myself that if I ruined them then I would just buy a new pair for my birthday. Then, in a long-standing tradition I slipped on my Wildcats tank top. My hair was once again thrown back in a ponytail and pulled through my old Kentucky ball cap. I glanced in the mirror and aside from my father’s lovely birthday present, I figured I looked as good as I ever got. I didn’t bother to try and cover the bruise again. This was a small town and by now everybody knew what happened. Make-up wouldn’t have helped a damn bit anyway, the bruise was fucking huge.

I don’t know who the hell I had to impress, if anyone, but as I headed to the bar that evening I was in a pretty damn good mood. My spirits had been raised quite a bit by the idea of an all night beer-fest with the guys after what I prayed would be a winning game. I needed the Wildcats to win for several reasons. First and most importantly, I’m a Kentucky girl. Never been to college but still, Kentucky blue through and through. Plus, an exciting game passes the time a lot more pleasantly and a win for the Wildcats means bigger tips at the end of the night.

Tonight’s game was especially important. The Cats were playing Duke. Currently number 2 in the nation and standing at the same record of wins to losses as Kentucky. If we beat them tonight then we slide into the number one spot and have the best seat in the play-offs. Oh, and did I mention they are our biggest rivals? If Duke wins tonight there is going to be a lot of piss-drunk guys angry as fuck in the bar. I’ve already been in two fights in the last 24 hours. I don’t need to make it any more.

I walked into the bar just about an hour before tip-off. Hal’s face turned white when he saw me. I couldn’t tell if he was reacting to my face or if he was just relieved that I decided to show up to work after all. I assume it was probably both. Hal, as in “Hal’s”, was a fucking cowboy. The dirty old man in his late sixties, was an active member of the NRA. He wore genuine snakeskin boots and always had a wad of chew drippin from his chin. I’m talking straight up John Wayne shit. The man loved a great pair of tits and a fine looking ass. Of all the women in the world I’m his favorite though. Hal and my dad went to school together. They beat each other senseless once over my mom and even though Hal kicked my dad’s ass my mom still chose him.

Hal never really liked my dad to begin with but after what he did to me when I was 14 he swore to kill my father if he ever stepped foot in his bar. I’m pretty sure he means it too. Naturally I decided to spend as much time in the bar as I could and Hal always let me even though the state could have taken his liquor license from him. He loves me because of the way I turned out in spite of my fucked up parents. In some ways he’s like a father to me, but in other’s he’s just a perverted old man that plays nice to me just to piss off my father. Either way he wins points in my book.

“My God Cindy.” He stammered reaching out his hand as if he were going to touch my face. He pulled back though fearing it would hurt. Probably a wise choice, it hurt like hell without people poking at it. “You know you can go home if you need to.”

“Everybody in town already knows and going home is how this happened.” I laughed bitterly. “Besides, the Kentucky-Duke game? You know you can’t do it without me. I’m the best damn bar tender this town’s ever seen.”

“Not to mention the finest piece of ass.” Hall teased. -Good old Hal.- I laughed when the old man sighed in relief. “Thank God woman, cause I was only half serious about you leavin’ tonight. Now, be a doll go earn your keep.”

I saluted sarcastically and then made my way out to the bar. “Hey Cindy!” Hal called out after me. He tossed me a blue Kentucky Wildcats cowgirl hat. How and where he found it I’ll never know, but I loved it instantly. “Happy Birthday kiddo.” He chuckled when he saw my smile.

I tried on my new hat but it didn’t sit right with my hair pulled back so I set if free from its ponytail and it fell softly around my shoulders. That was a sight not many have seen. I always keep my hair up but tonight was special and I now had probably the only Wildcats cowgirl hat in existence. That had to be good luck or something so I plopped the hat on my head pleased to see it fit perfectly. It was a sign. The Cats were going to win and tonight was going to be a good night. I could just feel it.

Since we were still an hour from tip-off the bar was fairly empty. Only a couple of my regulars were there so I sat behind the bar just kind of polishing glasses and making sure everything was ready for the mad rush that would be coming in soon enough. It was quiet as hell so when the doors swung open it startled me.

I looked up just in time to watch a man literally waltz in with the breeze. I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a convention of city boys come to town or something because there I was staring at yet another strange face. I immediately became defensive. My track record with city boys isn’t really the best. This new guy wasn’t quite the same as the fuckers from the shop though. He looked happy to be there.

I could tell he was a city boy because although he was dressed in a jogging suit, it was a nice clean one and his skin looked smooth. The stranger obviously took very good care of himself. He was kind of short but his bright blue eyes definitely distracted you from that fact. He had an excited bounce in his step and he was grinning like a fool. The smile was infectious because before he reached the bar I was grinning right back at him. As he approached me he noticed my face and those bright baby blues turned dark with sadness.

The man seemed upset. He’d come through the door exuberating confidence and excitement but he quickly diverted his stare to the counter. The look on his face was one of wonder. I bet he was wondering how someone could hit a woman. He seemed like that type. Finally he made eye contact again. “You should see the other guy.” I teased in an attempt to make him feel comfortable. I was hoping that gorgeous smile he was wearing a minute ago would come back. He smiled at the comment but it wasn’t quite the same. This time he forced a sad smile. He cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. “Did I miss tip-off? You are gonna play the game tonight right?”

I couldn’t place the man’s accent. There was a tiny hint of that drawl that the rest of us had, but he didn’t sound quite the same. Anyway, the accent gave me hope that he wasn’t just another city prick like those rich fuckers this morning. He was probably just passing through on his way home to Lexington and afraid he wasn’t going to make it home for the game. One way to find out. “That depends.” I teased, “Are you takin’ about the Kentucky game or the Duke game?”

The man threw his hands over his heart as if he were crushed I would suggest something so horrible and then grinned devilishly. He exaggerated his accent making it sound as if he’d been here all his life and laughed as he spoke. “I’m talkin’ about the game where the Cats kick some Bluedevil ass.”

The man grinned victoriously when I cracked a smile. “I may be a stranger around these parts but I ain’t from North Carolina.” He said and then smiled at my new hat. “Kentucky blue through and through.”

God that man had a beautiful smile. “Well in that case the first one’s on the house,” I said as I poured a shot for the adorable stranger, “And the game doesn’t start for another 45 minutes.”

“Really?” The man said sounding pleasantly surprised. He glanced again at his watch. “I’ll tell you what then,” The stranger slid the shot in front of me and pulled some cash from his wallet. “I was never one to hold my liquor very well and I don’t want to pass out before the third period so how bout you keep me company while its slow and the first one’ll be on me.”

Was this guy for fucking real? “Deal!” I said slamming back the shot. I closed my eyes for a second as the alcohol burned my throat and then released a sigh of satisfaction. “God I needed that.” I said flashing my best smile.

“I’m Brian.” The man said extending his hand over the bar.

“Cindy.” I replied and shook the hand.

The stranger intrigued me. He was full of all the good ol’ country boy manners and charm but his hand felt as if he’d never worked a day in his life. He was friendly but never once looked me up and down and although he bought me a drink it was in no way an attempt to hit on me, at least I don’t think. What the hell was a guy like that doing in a town like this? “Well since Jack Daniels is out of the question, what can I get ya? Light beer, coke, milk…”

“Can you make it chocolate?”

Quick witted, I like that. I poured the man a coke and shrugged. When we laughed our conversation was interrupted. “This man bothering you Cindy?” said the gruff voice of Chuck Wagner.

Chuck runs the hardware store. Huge guy. He’s a cowboy too, but not like Hal. He’s one of them modern one’s. You know, drives a new truck and chews gum instead of tobacco. He’s also one of my regulars. I couldn’t help the smirk on my face when Brian smiled nervously at the man almost twice his size. “If he was botherin’ me Chuck, trust me, you’d be the first to know.”

Chuck still eyed Brian skeptically and then gave me a stern warning look. “You just be careful little lady. I know you got a weak spot for them city boys.”

I think I saw Brian blush at the comment but I just laughed it off. There was no use denying that. Like I said, everyone knows everyone’s business in a small town. I looked back at Brian and I could tell he was curious as to what was running through my mind. “Touché.” I replied playfully. “But I’d bet shot of whisky that a man like Brian here has somebody at home waiting for him.”

I looked him over once more. A man like him had to be taken already, although I wouldn’t have minded at all if he’d answered no. “Probably a skinny little blonde who likes to giggle a lot.” I teased. “Am I right?”

Bingo. Brian’s entire face lit up at the mention of a woman. Damn, a smile like that meant that he not only had a woman but that he loved her too. So much for my good luck, shit. “Well that depends on if you’re referring to my wife or my son.” He finally said proudly.”

A wife and a son. Didn’t quite see that one coming. I looked at his sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes and replied, “Both, I imagine.”

Chuck and I both laughed as Brian gave me a guilty shrug. “How’d you know?”

Chuck gave a hearty laugh. “None of us will ever understand how Cindy known the things she knows. Bartending is in her blood. You better watch out or you’ll be confessing all your dirty little secrets by the end of the night.”

“Thanks for the tip.”

Chuck went back to his drink and Brian pulled a picture from his wallet. His wife was gorgeous and the three of them seemed so happy. Fucking figures. Either you have it all or you got shit. Guess which category I fall into. “Lucky bastard.” I said pointing at his wife.”

The man just grinned like a lovesick schoolboy. It was so adorable it was making me fucking sick. “So if this is what you’ve got waiting back at home what the hell you doing in this shit hole?”

“This ain’t no damn shithole!” Hal yelled from across the room but I just laughed. It really was a bit of a shit hole bar and he knew it. I looked back to Brian and he shrugged.

“I won’t have satellite ‘till Monday and I can’t exactly miss out on the Kentucky-Duke game now can I?”

“New in town!” I gasped unable to hide my shock. “You mean you actually moved here?”

Brian laughed at me but I didn’t care. The man must be fucking out of his mind. “Hate to break it to ya, but Hanley’s the kind of town you only live in if you’re born here and don’t have an excuse to leave.”

“Awww. It’s really kind of cute.” Brian said. “And besides my wife fell in love with the house we bought so I couldn’t exactly say no.”

“Must be one hell of a house.”

“It’s kind of like an old plantation really. We plan on restoring it.”

Now I was truly shocked. He could only be talking about the Peterson farm. I’ve loved that house since I was a kid. I always wondered how someone could let something so beautiful get so run down. Brian noticed the twinkle in my eyes. “You know which one I’m talking about, don’t you?” He chuckled.

“Are you really going to restore it?”

“We’re gonna try. It’s a big project and we’re out of town a lot but houses are kind of a hobby of mine.”

“Well God, now you have to do it. I’ll be crushed if you don’t. I’ve been wanting to see that place cleaned up my whole life.”

“You should come by sometime then. You can meet my wife. She’d love to show you around.”

I was definitely excited by the offer but I couldn’t help but think of the woman in the picture he’d shown me. She was gorgeous. Probably a model or some shit. If they bought the Peterson Farm then they obviously had money. “I don’t know.” I said.

Brian’s face dropped. “Why not? It would be perfect. Leigh’s real worried about having to make friends. She’s kinda shy. But she’s real sweet, I promise.”

“It’s not that I wouldn’t love to, its just, girls don’t like me much. I don’t really know how to be one.”

“It’s settled then.” Brian laughed, “Because there’s no one in the world that would be a better teacher than Leighanne. She can teach you how to be a lady and you can toughen her up a little.”

I mulled the idea over in my head a bit. He seemed pretty cool so his wife couldn’t be all that bad, and it wouldn’t hurt me to girly up a little. I ain’t exactly getting any younger so if it might help me land a decent man, then hell, maybe I should do it. I think Brian knew I what I was thinking too because he refused to let up. “I absolutely insist.” He said, “As soon as we get unpacked a bit, you’ll be our first dinner guest.”

Dinner guest? Did he just use the term dinner guest? Fuck, I’m in trouble. What the hell did I just get myself in to? Danny and John are going to shit bricks when they hear this!

Chapter 3: Basketball And Birthdays.

This part of the story has always been just a little bit hazy to me. I still remember most of it, but I was drunk off my ass that night just as Danny and John promised, so the details are a bit fuzzy. I’ve tried to piece it all together but most everyone in that bar was equally drunk so everyone seems to have a slightly different story. Anyway, the part I do know for sure is that the fucking Kentucky-Duke game was one of the craziest games I’ve ever seen!

This game was close. You know, like when you’re watching one of those “sports” movies. Doesn’t matter which one, they’re all the same. Not shittin’ you, they went into triple overtime. Only time I’ve ever seen it happen. The bar was a fucking mad house. Normally, after the kind of day I’d had, I would be dead tired before the end of the night but not this night. My adrenaline was as pumped as everyone on the court.

You ever seen that movie “Cocktail”, with Tom Cruise? Well that’s what it was like at Hal’s that night. I was right, everyone in town did show up. Well, every man anyway. Weren’t too many ladies come into the bar, but that’s the way I liked it. It was crazy busy and I could barely keep up with all the drinks but I still laughed all night.

Despite the possibility of Duke winning the game everyone was having a great time, Brian especially. It was fun to watch this new stranger. He was so charming that he seemed to be best friends with everyone in town by the end of the night. There was something so different about him but I couldn’t figure it out. Part of him was this totally refined city guy, well versed in the ways of the world, yet he fit in so well in our tiny little hick town.

Brian was right about not being able to hold his liquor though. He eventually got brave and ordered a beer. He told me that he rarely ever drank and I had to laugh because by the time we went into the first overtime he was half way through his second and the man was well beyond tipsy. He giggled a lot and had this weird habit of bursting into song. He actually didn’t sound too bad but every time he started, half the drunk fools in the bar would join in. Remind me to never start a karaoke night.

Things got real crazy when the game went into its second overtime. Everyone was on the edge of their seats. I had long since stopped serving drinks because I was too wrapped up in the game. It didn’t matter though; because no one was asking for any drinks either. But then it happened, triple overtime. That sent everyone in the bar into a fucking frenzy. There was a short time out between the overtimes and everyone suddenly realized their drinks were empty, even me. I made a mad dash to the back for another case of booze hoping I would be able to refill everyone before the game started again.

When I returned, the bar was quiet. And by quiet I mean fucking silent. Other than the noise of the television in the background no one was making a sound. “We didn’t just lose did we?” I asked in a panic. But then I realized what everyone was staring at.

I growled when I saw three very familiar faces staring back at me. God those men looked ridiculous! I don’t know what the hell they were wearing but its no wonder the place went silent. I smiled seeing that the tall one looked about as pretty as I did now. I’m sure I didn’t actually break his nose but you couldn’t tell buy the bruise around his eye. The hot one didn’t look too bad but what the hell was up with the tight-ass leather pants? And the short one was wearing a fucking purple shirt! If I weren’t so pissed at the blonde I would have burst into laughter. Instead I yelled. “Hal, I want those fuckers out of my bar!”

“You’re forgetting this is my bar again little lady.” Hal laughed.

We actually had that conversation a lot. Normally I would have some kind of smart-ass comment but I was not in the mood to play. No way were a couple of rich pricks going to ruin the most intense game I’ve ever watched. “Alright, I want those fuckers out of YOUR bar!”

No one in the bar other than Danny and John knew what happened earlier but I’m sure they had all pieced together that I was the one responsible for the lovely shiner on the pretty boy’s face. There are certain things people in my town just don’t question. Everyone in town knew my home situation and they were all extremely protective of me. If I wanted someone out, there were no hesitations. Hal was about to have them thrown out and Chuck was already out of his chair when Brian returned from the bathroom. “Nick!” He gasped, “What the hell happened to your face?”

Now all eyes were on Brian. The three strangers still didn’t say a word. I think they thought they were about to get their asses handed to them. Probably not such a far fetched assumption either. Finally the silence was broken. I didn’t see who said it, but someone shouted, “That shiner has Cindy’s name written all over it.”

The bar became wild with laughter and then the game came back on. Everyone forgot about the city boys and went back to shouting profanities at the television. Brian resumed his place at the bar. “Friends of yours?” I asked refilling his beer.

“Did you really do that to Nick’s face?” He laughed back, his eyes never wandering from the game as he sipped the beer.

“The fucker grabbed my ass.”

I was surprised at the look that Brian flashed his friend, but I was even more surprised that he then turned to me and apologized for him. The killer of it was, that he really meant it. The man was disappointed at his friend and genuinely felt bad for me. To this day I still don’t understand how the hell someone like Brian, who has so much respect for women, could be best friends with someone who obviously didn’t.

“Don’t worry about it.” I chuckled, “With the way his face looks, what I did to him was probably worse.”

“You have no idea!” Brian laughed. I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean but before I could ask Kentucky scored again. After that nobody paid attention to anything but the game until finally, Morris sunk a beautiful 3-pointer to end it in Kentucky’s favor and the bar went fucking crazy, myself included.

Everyone was really excited and completely shit-faced. I half expected a riot to break out but nobody got really out of hand. In fact, the award for the most entertaining drunk moment that night went to Brian. Apparently the three beers he’d had were more than enough to cloud his better judgment. When Kentucky won he grabbed a wallet from the tall kid’s pocket and held it in the air. He actually hopped up on the bar and yelled out, “In honor of this great victory the next round’s on Nick for grabbin’ Cindy’s ass earlier!”

I gotta hand it to him, he really knows how to win over a crowd. He was instantly the new town favorite and everyone hollered with excitement as Brian pulled all the cash from Nick’s wallet. My eyes went as wide as the poor city boy that was being robbed when I saw how much money was in Brian’s hand. There must have been over a thousand bucks. Damn! Even if you’re rich, what kind of dumb fuck carries around that kind of cash? If for no other reason than that, the poor bastard deserved it. “This should cover it.” Brian giggled with a wink as he handed me the money.

I glanced at blondie but he didn’t dare protest and I was surprised to see both of his other friends laughing their asses off. Whether they were laughing at Brian’s drunkenness or the blondie’s predicament didn’t really matter, but seeing them laugh made me soften up toward them just a little. After all, Brian was turning out to be quite a guy and technically those other two city boys hadn’t done anything to piss me off so maybe they really weren’t so bad after all. I wasn’t completely convinced yet but I didn’t kick them out either.

After I poured a round of drinks for everyone in the bar I glanced at the clock. The game had lasted so long that the night was nearly wasted and I wasn’t anywhere near drunk enough yet. Everyone in the bar looked satisfied so I figured then was as good a time as any to go from serving beer to drinking it. “Hal!” I yelled.

“What darling?”

“It’s only my birthday for another hour and John and Danny promised I’d be good and wasted by the end of it.”

“Then I recon you’d better grab a bottle of Jack, on the house, and find yourself a seat that you won’t fall out of!” Again, the entire bar erupted into laughter. Last year when the three of us decided to get a little loose I fell off my fucking bar stool and had to have my lip sown back together. My luck with birthdays ain’t the greatest either.

“Today’s your birthday?” Brian asked still giggling.

I shrugged at the man flashing him a wicked grin and then helped myself to the bottle of Jack Daniels Hal mentioned before he could change his mind. “Yeah,” I replied with my eyes focused dangerously on that tattoo-covered friend of his. “Ya’ll wanna help us celebrate?”

I was more than satisfied with the smile I received from the hottie and couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like to run my hands up those tight leather pants. Those thoughts quickly lead to others that made my eyes wander places they shouldn’t. He knew what I was looking at as well as all of his friends but the only one that seemed to mind at all was the blond motherfucker. I gave him a cool smile then turned my attention back to Brian. “Danny, John and I have a long standing tradition of not remembering our birthdays if ya know what I mean. You and your friends are welcome to help me forget it if you want.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it a STANDING tradition!” said a rough voice from the crowd causing more obnoxious laughter from everyone in the bar.

I looked around but never did figure out which one of my regulars was giving me shit. “HAHA! You’re all fucking hilarious! Somebody better find Danny and John so I can get smashed before I figure out which one of you just said that and kick your ass.”

I looked around the bar realizing that Danny and John had disappeared. “Where the fuck are those fuckers anyway?”

“Fuck Cin! You need to fucking learn a new fucking word!”

I turned around to see Danny and John walk through the door with their hands behind their backs. “Where the fuck have you guys been?”

Danny and John grinned and then John pulled a huge cake from behind his back. I rolled my eyes at the picture of Cinderella and the inscription, “Happy Fucking Birthday Princess!” on it.

The guys were walking on thin ice with that little stunt but then they’d never gotten me a fucking cake before so they were quickly forgiven. I smiled at my two best friends and said, “All I need is a damn tiara.”

“You mean like this?” John laughed and handed me a cheap plastic Barbie crown.

John put the cake down and crowned me an official princess while everyone in the bar sang happy birthday. I’m not exactly shy, but I’m not used to so much attention either. And I can’t be sure, but I bet I was blushing the whole time. I made my usual wish for Prince Charming as I blew out the candles. Those bastards actually put 28 individual candles on my cake.

Once the fire was out - they’re lucky they didn’t burn the whole damn bar down with all those candles. God I’m getting old!

Anyway, once the candles were blown out, Danny pushed a huge fucking box at me. It was so big I half expected a stripper to pop out of it. “What the fuck is this?” I asked.

“It’s a fucking birthday present Cin. Open it.”

Jesus, these guys were on a role. A cake and a present? That was the closest thing to a birthday party I’ve ever had. Damn guys almost made me want to cry. They could be really thoughtful when they wanted to be. I smiled with genuine excitement as I tore through newspaper they’d used to wrap it. “A fucking piñata?” I asked when I saw the brightly colored paper inside.

By the way Danny smiled at me I knew he was up to something. For a minute I was actually afraid of what I was about to pull out of that box. He carefully took a step back from me as if he thought he might need a head start. Everything became clear when I pulled a 3 and a half-foot Cinderella piñata from the box.

The city boys looked around confused when the whole place went silent waiting for my reaction. A cake I could tolerate, the crown was pushing it. But a fucking piñata? Now that was going too damn far! Best friends or not those boys were still about to get a major ass-whooping! Danny seemed to think it was hilarious that I was so angry and yet as I yelled, “Danny! You son of a bitch!” I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.

He took off running and I took off after him. “You said you felt like beating the shit out of something.” He laughed as I chased him around the room. “Shit, I had to drive all around Lexington to find that.”

The chase didn’t last long. He was already quite drunk and I easily tackled him to the ground pulling his arm behind his back pinning his face to the floorboards. “You’re right. I would love to beat the shit out of something right now. So go ahead, say it! I dare you!” I said as I tightened my grip.



“Fuck Cindy!” He groaned; probably from the pain I was causing him. “Have I ever used your real name? Ever? I just thought that of all the things you could beat the shit out of, you would enjoy that the most.”

All the sudden I felt bad. I thought back on all the years I’d ever know Danny. Not once had he ever called me Cinderella. In fact, whenever the kids in elementary school did, he was the first one to let them know that wasn’t OK. And, as much as I wasn’t going to admit it, it was a sweet gesture. He really must have driven around the whole city to find that fucking piñata. Plus, I fucking hate my name! It would be kind of nice to beat the shit out of that perky little princess just once. I could pretend it was my mother. I let go of Danny’s arm and got to my feet. “You’re lucky the Cats won tonight.” I said then helped him up.

“I’m drunk Cin, not fucking stupid. I would have made John give it to you if they’d lost.”

Danny laughed but I wrapped my arms around him letting down my guard for a brief moment. That wasn’t like me at all but I couldn’t help it. I hugged him as tight as I could. After everything with my father the night before, I really needed the extra attention. I may have been raised by a pack of wild dogs but deep down there was a girl inside me somewhere.

I think Danny was a little surprised by my reaction because he pulled me off of him and looked at me as if I were crazy. He shot John the same look but he was too busy staring at me to notice. John’s such a fucking worrywart. He gave me a hug and whispered a sweet happy birthday. I must have really been going crazy that night because I kissed his cheek as I said thank you.

I don’t know why I did it. I’m just not the kissin’ and huggin’ type but I’d just been feeling really strange all day. From the moment I woke up. I mean shit, I almost cried this morning in the office. Then Brian came into the bar treating me like I was some kind of lady and now the guys were treating my like a fucking princess surprising me with a birthday party. I don’t know what the hell was going on but I was feeling all kinds of strange things. “Don’t go getting all girly on us now.” He teased me but I just stared at him.

I didn’t know it at the time but as I look back now that was the first day I ever felt like a real woman. I had my hair down and my cute jeans on, and I was being treated all special. I have to admit it felt fucking nice. Overwhelming even. If I thought I was close to crying that morning I was sorely mistaken because as John stared at me with concern on his face, my eyes actually glossed over. “What the hell’s going on Cin?” he whispered, all joking aside.

I shook myself free of the emotional constipation and forced a smile. “Nothin’”, I said. John knew that was a lie but he also knew that I wouldn’t have told him what was wrong had I know myself. “Alright then.” I said turning my attention back to the whole room. “Somebody get me a fucking bat!”

“I don’t think so.” Danny laughed handing me the bottle of Jack Daniels. “You’re not nearly wasted enough for that yet.”

I smiled at the man and downed as much of the bottle as I could stand. It’s a good thing John closed the shop all weekend because we were going to have serious fucking hangovers tomorrow. “Happy fucking birthday to me.”

Chapter 4: Repercussions

Have you ever waken up in the morning and just known that you regret what you’d done the night before even though you couldn’t technically remember what that was? Well, that’s exactly how I felt the morning after my birthday when I opened my eyes and realized that I was not in my own bed, nor was I in John’s guest room. Hell, I wasn’t even on Danny’s couch. In fact, I wasn’t sure where the hell I was.

White pillows and white bed sheets suggested a motel but even though my vision was severely blurred from a pounding headache, I could tell I sure as hell wasn’t in the fucking motel 6 in Hanley Kentucky. Nope a room this nice had to be in Lexington.

I attempted to sit up knowing full well how much it was going to hurt. As the room stopped spinning around me I heard a deep groan and it took me a minute to realize that it was not me that groaned. OH SHIT!

This was not the first time I had waken up in the arms of a man I couldn’t remember sleeping with. In fact it was the third. The first was John, if you remember I told you about our all night beer fest when I was 17. That resulted in a month long soap opera that still caused a little trouble between the three of us every now and then.

The second time didn’t happen until years later. When I was about 23 I had gone to a Wildcats home game and woke up the next morning in some frat house. Big fucking mistake there! The bastard that took me home had a web cam in his room and posted the whole fucking thing on the Internet. I found his roommates watching it in the living room the next morning and beat the shit out of the asshole that fucked me. That earned me my first, and only, if you can believe that, assault charge. Back home fighting is just a way of life but I guess those college pusses didn’t see it that way.

John was the one who bailed me out that day. He felt really bad because normally he wouldn’t have let me go home with a total stranger like that but he’d had more than his share of alcohol that night too. He promised me that day that he would never let me get that drunk and go home with another man again… Hmm… What the fuck happened last night?

Well that brings me to the third instance. Third time’s a charm, right? HA! Maybe if I were the actual Cinderella and not the fucking trailer park version. At least this time I had a fairly good idea what had happened. I was just bummed that I couldn’t remember it. In a fucking Donald Trump hotel room like this, I had to have gone home with that gorgeous city boy. Damn, of all the things to forget. That son of a bitch was sexy as hell. I bet I had the best sex of my life last night and I can’t even remember leaving the bar.

My head was fucking killing me but I actually smiled to myself thinking that I was just going to have to screw him again so I rolled over to face the man lying next to me hoping he wasn’t wearing any clothes. You can imagine how I felt when I saw a mess of blonde hair sticking out from under the fluffy bed cover. HOLY FUCK! I FUCKED THE ASS GRABBER!??!?!?!?!

“Shit!” I hissed under my breath. I froze when he stirred. No way did I want to face him! I’ve gotten pretty plastered in my time but how the hell did this happen! I didn’t even want to know what repercussions this little escapade was going to have. I slid out of bed as quietly as I could and threw my clothes on. I didn’t know where I was or what time it was. I didn’t have a clue how I was going to get home but I didn’t care. I just had to get out of that hotel room as fast as I could. Maybe if I was lucky he was every bit as drunk as I was and wouldn’t remember a damn thing either. If I could just get out of there without him waking up then he would probably never know. I slipped out the door and closed it quietly behind me. I let out a deep breath of relief as the door snapped shut. Freedom! I thought until I heard a voice behind me. “Good Afternoon.”

“Holy shit!” I screamed whirling around to find myself in what looked like a living room. What kind of hotel room has a fucking living room? The man smiled at how startled I was. It was the other city boy. The short, dark haired one. He stood up from the couch and pulled a chair out from the table. “Please, sit.” He said and wandered into the kitchen.

More than anything I desperately wanted to get out of there but for some reason I just did as I was told and sat down at the table. I watched curiously as the stranger poured a tall glass of something I was sure I was better off not knowing what it was and handed me four Aspirin. “Take these and wash them down with this.” He said softly.

“What the fuck is it?”

The stranger plopped himself down in the chair next to me and flashed me an intoxicating smile. “That, my dear, is what we call a Backstreet cocktail.”

What kind of a fucking lame-ass name was that? “A what?”

“Just a mixture of things you probably don’t want me to describe guaranteed to fix even the worst hangovers. Trust me, it tastes like shit but you want to drink it.”

This guy was a lot like Brian, very charming. I mean, he wasn’t at all a good ol’ country boy. He had big city written all over him, but still, charming none the less. He didn’t seem at all awkward even though he just caught me sneaking out of his friend’s bedroom. That blond motherfucker must bring home strange women all the time. This guy didn’t seem to mind at all, but he seemed shy. I don’t really know how to explain him except that he was strange.

He was nice though and I was grateful for it. I was also grateful for whatever the hell that drink was he gave me because almost instantly I could feel it relieve some of the tension in my head. I sipped the concoction slowly, trying my best not to let him see how nasty I thought it tasted.

The man watched me carefully, almost as if he’d never seen a woman before. Not that I’m much of a woman, but still. I smiled awkwardly and he simply smiled back and offered to make me some breakfast. I choked on the nasty juice I was drinking and nearly spit it at him, I was so surprised by his offer. “Excuse me?” I had to ask again because I was so sure I hadn’t heard right.

“You must be hungry.” He said, “There’s not much here but we could order some room service.”

I laughed at his offer. I could tell I’d confused him. I guess he didn’t see what was so funny but come on, ordering room service? I’ve never stayed in a hotel that actually offered room service in my entire life much less ordered it. To me it was something that only happened in the movies. It’s not something you actually do. God, rich people!

I had to give him an answer though. He was obviously waiting for one and still trying to figure out what was so funny. It was kind of a hard decision to make actually. I’ve never dated a rich guy before, not that this was by any means a date, but I have to admit the thought of breakfast delivered to me with a fresh flower in a vase sounded kind of fun. I just knew that it would take time and I didn’t want to be there when blondie woke up. Finally I decided that room service was probably over rated anyway and I shook my head. “No thanks.” I said.

I couldn’t help but glance over at the door to the room I’d just snuck out of. Apparently the shy one was also the smart one because that’s all it took for him to understand exactly what I was thinking. He let a tiny laugh escape. “How about I take you out to breakfast then and we’ll let Nick sleep. He was every bit as drunk as you last night. If we leave now, I bet he’ll never know. It’ll be our little secret.”

HA! As if the whole town wasn’t in the bar last night. I’m sure I was probably the last person to find out. Nick, the blonde one was Nick. I gotta remember that. “And I’m Howie, by the way.”

Howie. Probably short for Howard. That’s such a rich guys name. Ever wonder why the rich guys always have ‘rich guy’ names? Anyway, rich guy name or not, again, it’s like he was reading my thoughts. I smiled a weak thank you. I tried not to let him see it, but I was embarrassed. I’m not sure why it bothered me so much what this guy thought of me. I mean the guy was a total stranger and I’d probably never see him again. He’s a fucking rich city boy for Christ sakes. Guys like him and girls like me couldn’t exist in the same world together even if we wanted to, yet I still wanted to explain myself. “Look, that’s sweet and all, but I should probably just go. I mean last night I, I… Well I don’t normally…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s cool.” Howie laughed, “Besides, I probably remember what happened a lot better than you anyway. So how bout it? You hungry?”

Oh God I just wanted to shoot myself. This fucking guy, probably some super intelligent, important, Bill Gates guy, felt responsible for me. It was like he was trying to clean up his buddy’s mess. Probably worried I was after his money or some shit. I’m such an ass sometimes but what the fuck can you expect, you know my parents.

“Look.” I said trying not to lose my temper. (I can be a bit of a raging bitch when I have a hangover.) “You don’t have to entertain the white trash ho your buddy brought home after a wild night of slumming it. I’m a big girl. I know my way home. Thanks for the uh, the whatever the fuck you called that drink though, I do feel a little better.”

I will probably always remember the look on Howie’s face as I got up to let myself out. It was the same look Danny gave me the night I showed up at his bedroom window after the run-in with my father. I didn’t understand why Howie was giving me that look now. I wasn’t sure what I had done to get such a reaction, but he looked like he was going to be sick. He starred wide-eyed at me with his mouth hanging slightly open as I thanked him one more time and walked out the door. I got half way down the hall before he came running after me. “Cindy wait!” he said.

I was surprised that he knew my name although I guess I shouldn’t have been. He only sang happy fucking birthday to me the night before. I didn’t remember being formally introduced but I’m sure I must have been.

Him knowing my name wasn’t what made me stop though. It was the urgency in his voice. Well that, and he was literally sprinting down the hall after me. When he caught up with me he stood in front of me forcing me to stop and make eye contact with him. “God, I don’t want you to think that-” he said but he was too flustered to get the words out, “That’s not what I was trying to do. Honestly! I was just wanted to be nice.”

“It’s alright. I don’t have to actually remember to know what happened last night. I’m not stupid. I know you guys must be some kind of big shots or something, but don’t worry, I’m not going to try and cause you’re friend any trouble. I’m not used to formality so there’s no need to be nice.”

The elevator chimed open and I started to step in but Howie grabbed my hand. Not forcefully, or he would have gotten his ass kicked, but still firm. He didn’t want me to go. I don’t think I’ve ever been more shocked in my life than I was right then. He pulled me back so that I wouldn’t leave, but once he had my attention he didn’t let go of my hand.

His thumb kind of rubbed the back of my hand. It reminded me of those cheesy romance novels when the sexually frustrated author uses the word caress. Yeah, that’s the right word. He was fucking caressing my hand. Shit, whatever the hell it was, it was fucking amazing. His skin was so soft it sent shivers down my spine. I’ve never been touched like that before. Now I knew I was in a movie!

As if the surreal moment weren’t straight out of a romance novel already, he actually said, “It wasn’t formality. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I just wanted to take you out?”

“Like a fucking date? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yeah, it fucking is.”

Ok, maybe I was a little harsh, but come on. What are the chances he was really interested in me? At best he thought I was easy, since I went home with his friend the night before and thought he might be able to get a piece too. No fucking way was he good-looking, rich and nice. That just didn’t exist. And even if it did, I sure as hell would never be so lucky. I ain’t fucking Cinderella you know.

The expression on Howie’s face dropped like he was sad or something and he actually whispered his reply. “Well it shouldn’t be. I think you’re amazing.”

Awkward moment! What the hell happened last night to make him think that? I never learned how to take a compliment. Never really got them either. I was sure he meant what he said, I just couldn’t believe it and there was no way I was going to go there. I pulled my hand away from his and pressed the button for the elevator again.

I was feeling all the same emotions I had felt the night before and for the second time in my life I kissed a man on the cheek. I forced a smile and then pressed my lips gently to his cheek. “You’re sweet.” I whispered and then stepped into the elevator. “You should really find yourself a sweet girl. I’m sure you deserve that.”

Then the doors to the elevator closed and I was sure I would never see him again. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to regret my decision or not, but I was convinced it was for the best. I’ve been trained to expect a certain standard of living my entire life and this guy just didn’t belong there. I didn’t know him, but I knew he was way too good for the likes of me.

Chapter 5: Mixed Feelings

Getting home from Lexington that day proved to be a more challenging task than I’d anticipated, but getting home wasn’t really the important thing. The important thing is that I had a lot of time to think about everything that had happened over the last two days. The truth is, that Howie guy messed me up. Where the hell did he get off saying shit like that? Amazing? How the fuck could I be amazing? And worse, why did it bother me so much?

I mean, God, that was… nice. Why the fuck was I mad that someone was nice to me? Danny and John were nice to me all the time, but that’s Danny and John. They don’t count. They have to be nice to me or I’ll beat them up. They’re like my brothers. Well, more like stepbrothers, otherwise I’d be a twisted incestuous freak.

Honestly though, I just couldn’t figure out what was bothering me and I didn’t have a soul to talk to about it. I’m pretty sure that this problem was a kind of woman problem and that left everyone I know out of the question. I really only know one woman and she married my father so I didn’t know how much help she was going to be, but I was desperate. I actually hadn’t seen my mother since I cleaned her up and dumped her in bed two nights ago so I picked up a bottle of rum on the way home to soften her up a bit.

I know I rag on my mom a lot but deep down I do love her. I mean it’s not really her fault. Dad fucked her over pretty bad. If I had her life I’d probably drink myself into a coma everyday too. She wasn’t always like this. Hal’s told me a few stories about her before she married my dad. I even saw a picture of her when Hal had taken her camping back in high school. She was sunbathing by a lake in a colorful bikini.

She was actually quite beautiful and she had the most gorgeous smile on her face, but I’ve never seen that smile in real life. My fucking bastard of a father has beaten her down so many times it’s like she doesn’t have a soul anymore. I’ve tried to reach out to her before. It’s not that I would like a relationship with my mom, but she’s just too far gone. She’s just not helpable anymore. Dad’s completely destroyed her.

I stopped by Hal’s and told him I wouldn’t be coming in tonight. He assumed I was still recovering from my birthday but really my head didn’t hurt all that bad anymore. Howie’s little wonder cocktail was like fucking magic. If I ever do see him again, remind me to get the recipe.

And there I go again, thinking about that fucking guy. I gotta stop doing that! The more I think about it the more pissed off and confused I get. I have literally seen the man for about 10 minutes and yet I can’t get him out of my brain. He’s not even my type. How the hell did he do that and how the hell do I get it to stop!

When I got home that night the sun was gone but it wasn’t quite dark yet. I heard her voice before I saw her. “Where the fuck have you been Cinderella?” Oh joy, she sounded sober.

“Nice to see you too mom. I brought you a present.”

I rounded the corner shaking the bottle of rum and found my mom lying on the couch. “My God! What the hell happened here?” The room was completely torn apart. The lamp was broken the TV on it’s face on the floor. Papers and books scattered everywhere. It looked like a tornado came through here but I hardly noticed it. I was too busy staring at my mother’s face. “Mom? Why did he do this to you?”

“Jesus Christ Cinderella! As if you don’t fucking know! He was looking for you. You’re father was pissed as hell about that shit you pulled the other night. You broke his fucking nose!”

“He was beating the shit out of you mom! What was I supposed to do, let him kill you?”

“What the fuck do you think he tried to do last night? You’re little stunt almost got me killed. Damnit girl when are you going to learn to use your head! You don’t mess with your father.”

“Well somebody goddamned has to! Fuck Mom, look at yourself! He can’t keep doing this! If I fucking see him again, I’m going to fucking kill him! End of story! Why the hell did those fuckers let him out of jail last night anyway?”

“Those bastards over there are fucking incompetent ass holes, you know that.”

I let go a heavy sigh. There was no use arguing about it anymore. My mom was the drunk wife of a woman beater, and she lived up to every stereotype there is. In another five minutes she would be defending his actions and telling me how much she loved him.

Mom looked bad this time. Real bad. “One of these days he’s going to kill you.” I said as I helped her up. I said it jokingly but I meant it. That bastard was never going to stop. I got her up and put her in the car. The nearest hospital was just south of Lexington about a half an hour up the highway. I gave my mom the bottle of rum and told her to drink away. I knew she had to be in a great deal of pain and I didn’t want to hear her bitch all the way there.

Hours later I was sitting in a hard plastic chair in a waiting room and my ass was starting to go numb. I couldn’t figure out what the hell was taking so long. My mom was pretty banged up but she wasn’t dying, at least I hope not. I don’t know, maybe it felt like longer than it was. I was there all by myself with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me and there were plenty of them.

As always I blamed myself for what happened to my mom. Funny how that always works. Dad beats the shit out of mom. I defend her and get pretty banged up in the process. Then dad nearly kills her and somehow it’s all my fault. I bet a shrink would have a field day with that logic.

I should have known though. I should have known that daddy wouldn’t spend more than one night in jail. He never does. And I sure as shit should have known that he would be angry. I should have been there last night. Of coarse the man was going to beat her up when he couldn’t find me, that’s what he does. And Mom’s fucking helpless.

I felt like shit. Guilty as fuck, because where the hell was I while mom was being raped and beaten to the near end of her life? I was getting piss drunk and sleeping with an ass-grabbing rich boy, cursing the very woman I was now praying would be all right. I really hate that I’m so fucking stupid sometimes. Runs in the family I guess.

When I just couldn’t sit anymore I wandered down to the cafeteria to find some coffee. Cream, but no sugar, just in case you’re wondering. I’m not really a big fan of anything sweet. Like Howie. He seemed like the sweetest man I’ve ever met. That’s probably why I ended up leaving him by the elevator and sleeping with Nick. He didn’t seem nearly as sweet. What the hell is wrong with me? Now I’m comparing Howie to coffee?

I have issues. Chuck was right, I have a weird thing for city boys. I’ve been a fucking mess ever since they showed up. In fact I’m thinking about them so much it’s like I am actually hearing their voices now. “Cindy? Is that you? What are you doing here?”

You know, the scary thing is, that I actually answered him before I knew he was really behind me. “I was actually thinking about taking a trip up to the psyche ward, and you?” I said rather sarcastically thinking I was really losing mind.

“Um, visiting my mom actually. Are you all right?”

I laughed a little to myself when I turned around and saw Brian staring at me as if I were losing it. Hell, maybe I was. “Yeah, I just, it’s been a long day.”

“Care to join me? I’ve had a long day myself.”

How could I resist such a smile? Brian and I began wandering the halls of the hospital until we found an empty sofa. Yeah, a chair with actual cushions! “So is your mom ok?” I asked hoping to keep the subject off of me as long as possible.

I felt bad to see the sparkle in his eyes fade. “She’ll be ok.” He said, “She’s come down with Alzheimer’s and my Dad can’t really take care of here anymore. That’s actually the reason my wife and I moved back to Kentucky, so we could be close. I wish we didn’t have to put her in the hospital but I travel so much with work that there’s just no other way.”

“God Brian, I’m so sorry.”

“Well the Lord has his plan for all of us so the most I can do is try to be at peace with it and help any way I can.”

“You’re a good son. I wish I could that good.”

Brian’s smile slowly started to come back. “So what brings you hear? Other than the psyche ward of coarse.”

“It’s my mom too.”

“Ah, now you see you’re a better kid than you thought if you’re here visiting your Mom too.”

“Not really, I’m kind of the reason she’s she in here.”

Shit! I didn’t mean to say that. Why did I say that? Now I was going to have to explain myself. I’m the bartender. People are supposed to tell me their problems not the other way around. I looked at Brian and there was no mistaking the look on his face. I was now going to have to tell him the entire story. “You see this?” I asked gesturing to the bruise on my face that had now faded into an ugly green-yellow. “Well my father did that so I broke his nose.”

I could tell that Brian was doing his best not to make any faces that might let me know how shocked he was. I felt bad for telling him. This good-natured country boy who had moved home to be close to his sick mamma probably had no idea that domestic violence wasn’t something Hollywood made up to sell tickets. I hated to strip the man of his innocence, but there really was no way to sugarcoat it, and now there was no avoiding it, so I just let go. “He was pretty pissed about it so while we were out getting plastered last night my dad was at home doing his best to kill my mom.”

We sat there for about an hour while I explained the wonderful tragedy that is my life. God it felt so good opening up to him like that. He turned out to be the shoulder I needed. He didn’t really have any advice to give me, how could he, but just being able to vent all my troubles made me feel better than I had in a long time.

Eventually after the subject had completely died things got a little quiet between us. I didn’t mind so much. I just felt so comfortable around him and it was getting pretty late so I was tired. My eyes started to close on me until I could feel Brian staring a hole right through me. When I looked at him he grinned like a little kid. “You’d better tell me what the fuck you’re grinning at.” I teased.

I was actually grateful for the change in mood. “Well I hate to sound like a fourth grader, but my friend told me he likes you and I was just thinking that you should go out with him.”
“I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.”

“You mean you know?”

“Yeah well, he kind of asked me out this afternoon but I said no.”

“But why? I think you too would have fun together. Besides, I noticed you checking him out last night.”

“I was?”

I was surprised when Brian laughed so forcefully. God I wish I knew what happened last night. “Are you really going to try and deny it? You were practically undressing him with your eyes.”

“I don’t really remember anything that happened last night so cut me some slack.” OK, there I was blushing again. “Look, Howie seems like a really sweet guy and I kind of felt bad for ditching him by the elevator like that, but— I stopped talking when I saw Brian’s face.

You would not believe the way Brian was looking at me after that. It was this strange mixture of shock, confusion, excitement and god knows what else. Total fucking bewilderment. “Howie?!” Brian finally asked nearly falling out of his chair with laughter, “I was talking about AJ.”

“Who the fuck is AJ? That blonde mother fucker?”

“Nope, that’s Nick. AJ’s the other one. Dark hair, tattoos, kind of looks like a rock star…”

“The sexy one?” Oh shit, said that out loud.

“Most women think so.”

Brian was now laughing hysterically. “I’m glad you find this so amusing.”

“I’m sorry, but if you knew the guys better, you’d understand.”

“Try me.”

“OK, well yesterday the guys had to take my car to the shop for me.”

“So I heard.” I said remembering meeting them for the first time.

“Well AJ called me telling me that he was in love with some woman that gave Nick what he deserved. When I found out later what you’d done to his face it all made sense. When he told Nick that he was going to ask you out Nick had a hissy. I think he really felt bad. He’s not used to… well… you kind of put him in his place. He wanted to ask you out so he could apologize. After that he and AJ spent the whole day fighting over who had dibbs. They’re gonna be pissed when I tell them Howie asked you out first.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Three fucking rich city boys all fighting over who gets to ask me out? “You see we kind of have this rule that once one of the guys has asked a girl out, she’s off limits to the rest of us.”

“So you’re telling me a foursome is out of the question then?” Brian’s face went pale until I started laughing. I thought about telling him about waking up in Nick’s bed because that meant Howie broke the rules, but that meant Nick finding out we slept together and I didn’t want that to happen. “I’m just kidding, god! But you do sound like a fucking fourth grader.”

Brian giggled again and then asked the question I had been dreading ever since I first saw him. “SO, Howie huh? What did you mean when you said you ditched him by the elevator?”

I hesitated and then I blushed. Or maybe I blushed and then hesitated. Either way he KNEW something was up. No way did I want to have to tell him what I was doing in his friend’s hotel room. Technically I didn’t know that myself.

Brian gave me a look that I can only assume was reserved for his son when he wanted to know something. I tried to play it off as best I could. “He asked me out and I sort of freaked out. I said no and then just left. I’ve never been really good at that sort of thing.”

“So why’d you say no? Howie’s a really good guy. The best of the four of us anyway, by far. A girl could only be so lucky.”

“That’s exactly why I said no. He seems like a really sweet guy, but trust me, that man doesn’t need a foul mouthed, fuck-up with a nasty temper. He’s better off.”

Brian could sense that I wanted to drop the subject and I thanked God when he stopped pestering me about it. He was quiet for a minute and then gave me that devilish grin again. “Oh God! What is it now?”

“You really are foul-mouthed aren’t you?”

Brian and I had a good laugh and then we each went our separate ways. It turned out that Mom was going to be kept over night so I went home to get a decent night’s sleep. Since the shop was closed all weekend, tomorrow I was taking some time to myself. Brian had lifted my spirits some but I still felt like I had a lot of shit to figure out.

Chapter 6: Just Another Girlie Girl

The next morning was Saturday. The shop was always closed on Saturdays but I’d been getting up early every morning for so long now that I couldn’t sleep in no matter how much I wanted to. By eight o’clock I was up, showered and pacing my trailer wishing I had something to do to keep my mind off of him. Them actually. Nick, AJ and Howie. Even Brian had me stumped. I didn’t know what my problem was and I didn’t know what I wanted. All I did know was I needed some fucking air.

I went to the only place I could think of where I could really clear my head; the shop. I had my own keys and John wouldn’t care so I figured I’d get a head start on Brian’s very expensive piece of shit Beemer.

As much as I loved working with Danny and John, it never compared to being there all alone. I never felt more at peace than when it was just me and the car. Everything was so quiet and I could really just let my mind run any direction it felt it needed to go. Of coarse today it immediately ran in the direction of the city, or, city boys anyway.

I’ve never really been one to be boy crazy and I’m not sure if that’s really what this was, but no question about it, those boys were driving me fucking crazy! Somehow, ever since they showed up I don’t seem to know which end is up and I can’t figure out why. It’s not like I even like any of them. Sure that AJ guy is fine and I’d fuck him in a heartbeat, but I’ve seen him what, twice? We haven’t even been introduced. At least not that I can remember. And Nick, so not my type at all and yet we end up sleeping together? What’s that about? Then there’s Howie. I don’t think I need to remind you why he has me going nuts.

Even more than just these guys showing up and turning my life upside down, I was bothered by something else; a deeper issue. Something about those guys made me think. The way they talked to me, and treated me, they were like no one I’ve ever met before. I couldn’t help but wonder how different life outside of Hanley really was.

All the sudden I was questioning everything about my life. What the fuck was I still doing in this town anyway? I’m 28 years old and still living in a shitty trailer with my mom. Those guys were my age. That Nick guy actually looked younger than me. They all had so much and Brian had a fucking family already.

What was I doing with my life? Nothing. I was pissing it away with Danny and John and never even questioned whether or not there was more out there. What did I want out of life? Did I want a husband and children like Brian had? Did I want a better job or a house of my own? Did I want to see what life was like outside of my tiny little hick town?

Fuck, I don’t know. I mean life’s not so bad. I have Danny and John. We’ll always have fun no matter how shitty things are. And my jobs not so bad. Either of them really. I love cars and working with my two best friends instead of under the watchful eye of some prick of a boss on a power trip is all anyone could ask for. I knew I had it good there. I didn’t even mind the small town. I knew everyone in it and with the exception of my fucked up parents and one or two others like Pete the pervert tow-truck man, they were all pretty good guys.

I guess what was really bothering me was the thought of finding love. I’ve always just ignored the idea because I knew there was no way in hell I would find it with anyone in this fucking town. I’d all but accepted that Danny, John and I would live out the rest of our pitiful lives together but alone.

But the truth is, although I would never admit it to anyone, I wanted love. Real honest to god, spend the rest of your life with the same man, love. Seeing Brian’s face light up when he showed me the picture of his wife made me feel jealous. I wanted that. I wanted to be able to make love to a man, not just have meaningless sex, however hot it may be. Pathetically, the way Howie touched me the other day in the hallway of the fucking Ritz Carlton was the closest I’ve ever come to that. God it felt so good. Ever since then I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be in love. I’m desperate for it.

I’m also completely terrified of it. It didn’t work out so well for my mom and I don’t exactly have the best luck in the world. I’ve got more trust issues than a fucking parole officer. I wouldn’t even know where to start to let someone get close enough to love them. Shit I’m probably not even capable of loving someone; not like that. “Fuck it.”

That’s right, those quotation marks are supposed to be there. I said that out loud. Don’t act so surprised, who the fuck doesn’t talk to themselves every now and then? “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!” I continued to spat from underneath the jacked up car. “Fuck them! Fuck them all! I don’t fucking need them. I don’t fucking need him.”

Yup, spouting profanity to myself was really helping. I was starting to feel better already. “You know what? Fuck Howie! Fuck Howie and his fucking soft touch! Fuck his sweet smile and his fucking miracle hangover juice!” Ok wait, don’t fuck the miracle juice, that I could use, but fuck the rest of it!

“Um, excuse me? Hello?”

The voice was tiny and sounded nervous, but it came out of nowhere and totally scared the piss out of me. Even lying flat on my back I jumped sky high. Unfortunately, the underbelly of Brian’s car was a lot closer than the sky and I smacked into it with full force. “Fuck!” I screamed dropping the tools in my hand with a loud clanking noise.

“I’m really sorry to bother you, but, um, there was no one in the office…”

The woman’s voice trailed off when I slid out from under the car. She shyly took a step back and although she was nervous she smiled the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. She was fucking angelic looking. She had this long radiant blonde hair that fell perfectly around her shoulders and it seemed to be glowing. I’m pretty sure it was just my eyes adjusting to the light that was shining over her shoulders. Either way it didn’t take a genius to figure out that this was the picture perfect model wife of the ever so charming owner of a certain broken down BMW.

I had to admit, even though she intimidated the shit out of me, I was curious as hell to meet her. Her hair was curled, her nails manicured, and her skirt matched her jacket and her shoes. High fucking heels! I wonder if she always looks like that?

I glanced down at my grease stained garage overalls looking for a clean place to wipe my hands off. “You have to be Leighanne.”

I was surprised when she shook my dirty hand without even hesitating. She was surprised by my comment but her face lit up with excitement. I think she was relieved that I wasn’t going to bite her head off or something. “Yeah, that’s me. And you’re the infamous Cindy. Your reputation precedes you.”

“Ihear it can do that sometimes.”

“Are you kidding? Ever since the guys got here I don’t think we’ve had a conversation that didn’t include you.”

At this point I cringed. God only knows what they’ve told her about me. “Sorry if I caused a ruckus. I know a couple of them probably aren’t very happy with me right now.”

I was surprised that such a big laugh came from such a small body. “Oh my God!” she laughed in a deep southern accent, “I’ve never seen Nick so pissed. And AJ and Howie surely didn’t help with all the laughing and the teasing and the name-calling.”

I was glad she found it all so amusing. After all, Nick was her husband’s best friend. I was worried that she’d be a little upset, but she thought it was hysterical. That surprised me. If it was me and Danny got pummeled by a girl like that you bet your ass I’d think it was funny. Especially if he deserved it. I’d give him all kinds of hell for it. But that’s me and I ain’t exactly all prim and proper like she is.

“Can I tell you something? Just between us girls?” Leighanne asked still giggling a little.

I was right about the giggling thing, Leighanne seemed to be an expert at it. And now she was gossiping with me. Shit, this sounded like girl talk and she’d only been there for two minutes. She was the most feminine woman I’d ever met. I felt my skin starting to crawl and normally this would be the part where I found an excuse to get the hell out of there, but I was so curious about what she could possibly have to tell me.

The only thing we had in common was her husband and his city boy friends and I was dying to hear what she had to say about them. I stared curiously as she looked around the garage. It was like she was afraid someone might here us or something. Then she giggled again. “I was kind of glad when the guys told me what happened to Nick.”

Kind of glad? Was this guy that big of a prick that his best friend’s wife was happy someone knocked the shit out of him? This woman was a very strange creature. I could see it in her eyes that she felt guilty about what she was saying and yet at the same time she was trying not to laugh.

I couldn’t figure her out for nothing. She was the poster child for all the things I hate about girls and yet I didn’t automatically loathe her. It was kind of like she was some fairy princess on the outside and had this inner wild-child screaming to get out. “I love Nick to death but he’s got one of the biggest egos I’ve ever seen.” She explained to me, again suppressing her own laughter, “He shouldn’t have done what he did to you but normally he can get away with it. I’m glad someone finally put him in his place.”

“Happy I could be of some assistance then.” I joked.

“We should keep you around more often.” Leighanne said no longer holding back from her laughter, “They could all use a little deflation sometimes.”

“Not Brian.”

Leighanne laughed even harder. “Yup, even Brian. That just happens when you spend so many years getting everything you want. He’s just not as bad as the others because he has me to burst his bubble, and trust me, I’ve done it plenty.”

“Yeah right. If Brian has an ego, you’re the reason for it. He should just wear that picture of you around his neck as much as he takes it out of his wallet.”

Leighanne blushed and a grotesque smile spread across her face as she thought about her loving husband. Those two were sick. Is it even possible for two people to be so happy? I would have thought no, but these two were fucking crazy. Leighanne snapped from her daydream and grinned wickedly at me, “Well you know how it is to be cursed with so much beauty.”

Was she serious? I can’t even count how many things were wrong with that statement. And why the hell was she shaking her finger at me? “Don’t you dare try to deny it.” She said, “I’m sure you have every man in this town at your disposal.”

“Huh?” I wish I could have been a little bit more articulate but I was fucking confused. Was she blind?

“You are every bit as pretty as I am.”

Oh god somebody help me, this woman was completely psycho! And she was doing that girl thing where they tell each other how pretty they are just because they can. Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe she really was just another girlie-girl.

I had no idea how to respond to that statement. I mean look at me, I could never compare to someone like her and I wasn’t about to say that I could. But I didn’t need to go fishing for compliments either so I didn’t want to deny it. I was completely flustered and did the only thing I could think of, I changed the subject. “Is there something you needed?”

“Yeah, the guys left my gown in the car and I was hoping I could get it before it starts to smell. Knowing those guys, there’s probably a half eaten cheeseburger under the seat fusing the smell of grease permanently into my Versachi.”

Gown? Versachi? Oh my god. Who the hell was this woman, Julia Roberts? I opened the door for her and she pulled out a long garment bag. Her face lit up as she unzipped it. “I can’t wait to wear it! Brian’s foundation is holding a charity ball this Friday.” She said showing me the dress as if I were as excited about it as she was... And her goddamned giggle was back. “I’ll admit it was a little expensive, but I have to make my hubby proud. He’s put so much work into this event.”

Now the princess was talking about a ball! Rich people and their fucking fairy tale lives! Maybe I should be calling her Cnderella. The dress she was holding was beautiful though and for a moment I wondered what it would be like to wear something like that. I couldn’t imagine how much she must have spent on it. Probably more than I make in a year. Even I wouldn’t look to bad in something like that.

I wondered about the dress just a second too long and when Leighanne’s eyes narrowed at me I groaned on the inside. Damn. She wasn’t just beautiful she was smart to. She knew exactly what I was thinking. “That rough exterior doesn’t fool me honey. Every girl deserves to feel beautiful. You know, if we cleaned you up a little you would knock the socks off of any man.”

Oh God! I was blushing. What the hell was wrong with me? I beat up chicks who say shit like that, not blush from the compliment. Either this woman was casting some sort of magical spell over me, or I just wasn’t nearly as tough as I used to be.

Sadly, I knew it was the second. I had nearly cried two or three times in the last couple days. I don’t know what was causing the change inside me, but I was scared of it. I didn’t know how to be a girl. I didn’t know how to be friends with a girl. And I didn’t know how I would go on with my life if I turned into one, but I found myself fucking curious what it would be like if I were a little more like Leighanne.

Leighanne’s face lit up suddenly and she began hopping up and down squealing giddily. “Oh my God I have the best idea!” she said grabbing both of my hands as she continued her hopping. Ok, maybe I didn’t want to be that much like her.

I pulled my hands away before I could start jumping up and down with her. Seriously, this woman was slightly crazy. “Let’s go into town today for some girl time. I’ve been desperate to find a salon since we moved. We’ll go shopping and have full makeovers done. I haven’t done that in so long!”

“I don’t think so.” I said trying not to laugh. Spending time with another girl was one thing, but shopping and salons and makeovers? Hell no!

“Aw come on, you have to! My treat, I’m going to prove to you that you are gorgeous.”

“I’m not gorgeous.”

Fuck! There I go. I’m doing it. I’m refusing her compliment. I sound so fucking insecure. Now she’s never going to let up. “Look I appreciate it, but let’s face it, I just ain’t worth the hassle.”

“Howie doesn’t think so.” Leighanne said grinning wickedly at me.

I froze and my face turned beat red. I wanted to kick myself for being so goddamned obvious, but I couldn’t help it. Howie had me so twisted up inside that just the mention of his name turned me into an emotional wreck.

When Leighanne saw my reaction she smiled victoriously. I was busted. “But I have work I’ve got to finish.” I tried to protest but Leighanne only grew more confident.

“The sign out front says you’re closed, and that’s my car your working on and I say it can wait.”

I was desperately trying to think of more excuses but I just couldn’t. In fact, my brain actually began trying to sway me the other direction. After all, I did have to go into town to pick up my mother anyway, and I would probably never have another chance in my life to do anything like this. Plus, just yesterday I was so desperate for a girl to talk to that I resorted to my mother. Maybe Leighanne wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Leighanne smiled when she realized she’d gotten her way. She anxiously waited for me to close up the shop. I didn’t have a clue what the hell was about to happen to me but as much as I hated to admit it, I was kind of excited.

Chapter 7: Sex Talk


So where in this epic tale of tales was I? Oh that’s right, driving Barbie to Lexington in my dirty piece of shit Cutlass. Technically it’s my mom’s car but she’s been too drunk to drive for at least 25 years now so I never saw the point in getting one of my own. I was starting to rethink it though when Leighanne had to sit on a towel to avoid getting grease all over her skirt. I have this bad habit of leaving my work overalls wadded up in the passenger seat. “Sorry about that.” I cringed when I saw Leighanne adjusting the towel in order to keep her skirt safe. “I never expected there’d be anything so fancy in here.”

Leighanne looked at her skirt and giggled, “What this old thing? Oh god, I’m not worried about ruining it, but I would hate to be caught wandering around town with a big stain on my skirt. Just my luck someone would get a picture of that and my but would be plastered all over the internet.”

“I knew you were some kind of famous model or something.”

“I wish I were famous for my modeling.” Leighanne said starting in with that pesky giggle of hers again. “I’ve only done a little work. I acted in a few music videos and a couple indie films but hardly anyone on the planet has seen them. My recognition comes mostly from being married to Brian. He’s pretty influential.”

Whatever, I knew she was a fucking model, or actress or whatever. “I bet you’re a fucking beauty queen too.” Oops! I meant to think that but it actually came out of my mouth.

“Sadly no, but it would have been fun to be Ms. Georgia at least once.”

Was she being serious? I think she was. Why the hell would anyone ever want to be a fucking beauty queen? Geez, I was sure I was never going to understand this chick. What the hell was I doing having a “girls day out” with her? I must be going crazy.

“I was prom queen though, my senior year. That was kind of fun.” Leighanne said interrupting my thoughts.

“I beat up our prom queen.” I admitted.

“You what?” Leighanne asked with wide eyes suppressing a laugh. (I can’t believe I haven’t offended this woman yet.)

“My best friend Danny’s always been a bit of a shit head.” I explained. “He started a campaign our senior year as a joke, to make me prom queen. The girl I was running against, Jenny, was a bitch, and when she said that I had a better chance at being the king I drop kicked her ass.”

Leighanne stared at me for a moment and then burst into laughter. I couldn’t help it and laughed along with her. When we finally caught our breath Leighanne grinned mischievously and asked, “So did you win?”

“I never made it to the dance. I got suspended and they disqualified me from the election.” I shrugged. I wouldn’t have gone to fucking prom anyway. “But the rest of the year the entire student body teased her that she only won by default. It pissed her off so much the suspension was worth it.”

Leighanne lost it again. “Oh God, stop making me laugh before I pee myself!” she cried.

When she said that I couldn’t help but laugh again. She was the girliest girl I’ve ever seen and yet here she was talking about pissing herself. Ok, she used the word ‘pee’ but still. She wasn’t prissy. The whole moment was so strange. I was actually having a good time. Just me and another girl laughing and having fun? I think that was a first for me.

All the sudden I found myself excited. Maybe Brian was right. Maybe Leighanne and I were a good combination for each other. It was quite a relief to think that there was at least one woman in this world I could get along with. I was excited for my new friend. I thought for sure that she would be able to help me get through whatever the hell this womanly life crisis was I was having.

I was also getting more excited about this “girls day” with every mile I got closer to the city. Is it so bad to want to turn a guys head once in a while? And after wearing my cute jeans to work the other night I did in fact need a new pair. I found it kind of relieving to think that someone who knew what they were doing would be there to help me pick some out. Honestly, is that so fucking horrible? “You know?” I said feeling momentarily brave yet thinking I would regret what I was about to say, “I’m kind of excited. I’ve never really gone shopping before and I do need a new pair of jeans.”

I watched as Leighanne’s face turned into a mystified pout. “Are you serious? Never? Oh honey you are in for a real treat then! You have no idea how much fun you are about to have! But you know, the shopping part is actually the very last thing we’re going to do today.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well first you have to go to the spa. Massages, scrubs, facials, pedicures, the works! You gotta be relaxed so that you’re in a good mood. That way you like the things you try on. Then you go to the salon. You have to have your hair colored and styled so that you know what kind of outfits you want to buy and you can coordinate with your nail color. Then comes the most fun part… accessorizing!”

I nearly ran us off the road staring at the look on her face. She was fucking glowing with anticipation. “You’d think we were going to fucking Disneyland or something.” I laughed.

Leighanne smiled wickedly at me. “Disneyland is a distant second.” She chuckled, “We are going to have so much fun today!”

When we got there I realized that Leighanne was being modest about her celebrity status because the receptionist at the desk blushed when she gave her, her name. The girl said they were booked but if we didn’t mind she would put us in the double room. I had to ask what that meant.

For the record, it meant that massages are usually a one on one thing but they reserved one room that had two tables where people could get massages together. The girl said it was usually couples; newlyweds and shit, but Leighanne happily accepted the offer. She said she would be honored to be there for my first massage.

I just shrugged when they asked if I cared. I had no clue what I was doing. I was totally at Leighanne’s mercy today. “Good!” Leighanne said becoming giddy again. “You’re gonna die! Massages are heavenly!” All I could do was shake my head. She really is a fucking princess.

Thirty minutes later I found myself lying on a massage table ass naked. Apparently I’m the only person in the world that didn’t realize full body massages meant taking off all your clothes while some guy rubbed oil all over your body, or woman in Leighanne’s case. Go figure she would request someone with a “soft touch”. I had to smirk. I bet Brian’s a delicate lover.

Shit! Should I be thinking about Leighaene’s husband like that? That can’t possibly be good. But, since I’m already on the subject, the man does have a very gentle disposition. And really soft hands. Yeah, I’d bet he’s fucking good at it.

I laid there a little nervous of what was about to happen to me but I had to admit the warm sheets were a nice touch and the room smelled pretty. Like vanilla or flowers or some shit. Then I felt a strong pair of hands run over my back with some kind of oil that was warm and tingly. Holy fuck it felt good! I had to let out a groan; I couldn’t help myself. I heard Leighanne giggle and turned my head her direction. She was laughing at me. “Nice huh?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I replied, “God, it’s better than sex!”

Leighanne giggled again. “I used to think the same thing.” She agreed, “So I made Brian take a couple classes. It really enhanced things for us if you know what I mean.”

“Shit! Are you serious?”

“Totally serious! Things actually got a lot better. The first time he tried it on me it got me so riled up we went at it all night. He was a little excited after that and now he has no problem taking a little time first.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Do girls talk about sex with each other? I thought for sure that was only something perverted guys do. Danny, John and I talk about it all the time, but Leighanne? That’s kind of impressive. I laughed out loud. This girl was really starting to grow on me. “All my past lovers have been kind of rough.” I admitted. “You know, kind of wham bam thank you ma’am.”

“Aw, you’re missin’ out then.”

“Maybe, but there’s nothing like getting a little wild and crazy sometimes.”

Leighanne looked at me a little intrigued. I smirked thinking how much I could probably teach her about guys. Women I’m clueless, but men? Shit! I’m an expert. “I guarantee you, that if you catch him by surprise tonight, tear his clothes off, actually ripping the buttons off his shirt and then scream his name while you fuck his brains out, you’ll get whatever you want for at least a month.”

“Rip the buttons huh?” Leighanne asked with a laugh, yet she looked as if she were seriously contemplating the idea.

“Yes Leighanne! Rip the fucking buttons! And if you really want to impress him, Make sure you’re in the kitchen when you do it. Throw him down right there on the fucking table.”

“Have you really done that?”

“Hell ya I’ve done it! And I promise you, your husband’s fantasized about it before. Guys have this thing with sex in the kitchen.”

“Oh my God Cindy!” Leighanne laughed breaking out into that rich accent again. “You are too much!”

“Makes sense when you think about it I guess. I am a bit rough around the edges.”

“Well we’ll just have to soften you up a bit then.” Leighanne said becoming playful. Then she grinned as if she were the devil himself. “Then we’ll find you a nice gentle guy to take you places sexually that you’ve never been.”

“Good luck finding a guy like that around here.” I said with a smirk.

Leighanne giggled, again… “I already have one in mind.”

I couldn’t help the curious look on my face. She laughed. “You know who I’m talking about! I heard you talking to yourself in the shop this morning. You know, Howie’s nickname IS Sweet D.”

She did NOT just go there! “The guys actually call him the Latin Lover.” She teased accentuating the words with silly faces.

Oh God I’m blushing again! “I always tease Brian that if he doesn’t treat me right, I’m gonna run off with Howie.”

I froze like a fucking deer. What the hell was I supposed to say to that? I looked pathetically guilty. Oh, she was good! She got me all loose and distracted and laughing, and then she cornered me when I couldn’t possibly go anywhere. Even if I wanted to high tail it out of there, I had no fucking clothes on. Nope. I was stuck and she knew it. “He talks to me you know.” She continued to pry. “Tells me almost everything.”

Shit! She knew. He told her! That son of a bitch told her! My mind was racing a mile a minute. I tried to tell myself that maybe I was over reacting. Maybe he just told her he liked me. He wouldn’t have told her about Nick, would he? “What exactly did he tell you?” I asked hoping I didn’t sound as nervous as I was.

“Enough to know that you have that boy head over heels for you.”

“Oh.” I said breathing a sigh of relief. Good. She didn’t know about my little sexcapade. If she did she would have said something. I didn’t say anything more hoping that she might just drop the subject. I tried to concentrate on my massage. I closed my eyes but I could feel Leighanne’s eyes burning a hole in me.

“So, are you going to tell me what happened between you two or not?” Leighanne asked almost whining like an impatient teenager.

There was no point in resisting her. I knew it was only a matter of time before she wore me down anyway. Besides, why was I fighting her? Didn’t I want some advice from a girl? Leighanne was definitely a girl, and apparently she knows Howie pretty well. It was time to let my guard down. Maybe I’d get some fucking sleep tonight. Hell, maybe I’d get fucking laid. (and actually remember it this time)

I let go a deep sigh. Well it was half a sigh and half a moan. Leighanne was right about massages. Heavenly is a very fitting word for them, and if you ever tell anyone I said that I’ll kick your ass. “You know we’d better stop talking about sex. This massage is making me so horny that if I don’t find a way to get some tonight I’ll be very cranky in the morning.” I said with another groan.

“Well honey then quit avoiding the subject. What do you think I’m trying to do here?”

“God Leighanne!” I laughed, “You are definitely not as sweet as you come across!”

“Oh I’m sweet.” She reassured me, “I just spend way too much time around my husband’s friends. Nick and AJ really start to wear off on a person after a while.”

“I’m sure of it.”

Leighanne giggled as innocently as anyone could and then said, “Even us sweet girls need to get some. How do you think we stay so sweet? I’m with you on the whole massage thing. I can’t go to the spa when my husband’s out of town; I get downright bitchy. Toys are just never as good as the real thing, ya know?”

“Shit Leighanne! You are my new fucking hero. I didn’t know girls like you existed.”

“What?” she shrugged as if she were a young innocent schoolgirl. “Sometimes he’s gone for weeks at a time. Doesn’t leave me many options.”

Leighanne and I began laughing so hard that the whole Howie topic was temporarily forgotten. We had a good laugh and then enjoyed the rest of our massages in silence, I’m sure much to the dismay of the man massaging me. Our conversation had to have been entertaining to say the least. In fact I know it was because the man slipped me his card when we left and told me to give him a call sometime. Right. Like I needed that right now. Although, the way his fingers worked magic on my body today… I gotta admit, I wouldn’t mind some of that sensual lovemaking Leighanne was talking about earlier. Shit, Leighanne, that woman is crazy.

Chapter 8: A Day For The Record Books

So remember how I said that the subject of Howie was momentarily forgotten? Well momentarily was the key word. The minute we stepped out of the spa we were right back on the topic. Leighanne suggested we get some lunch before we get our hair done so that we could have some time to talk without someone standing over our shoulders. I may be a bit stupid sometimes, but I knew what that meant.

I wondered if a girl like her actually eats and knew that whatever she suggested was more than likely not going to be on my usual menu. When she asked if I like Thai, I wasn’t really surprised but at least it wasn’t sushi. I’d never tried it before, but hell I’d never had a massage before either and that was fucking awesome. Leighanne smiled at me when I told her I’d never had it. “I think you’ll like it.” She said, “Spicy. I bet you’re the kind of girl that loves things a little spicy.” I knew she wasn’t talking about food with that statement, but she was right either way so I figured I’d trust her again and see what else might just surprise me today.

Apparently Leighanne was tired of beating around the fucking bush because as soon as the waiter was done taking our order she looked at me, all hints of that playful giggle gone, and said, “So you’re not afraid to date, you’re just afraid to date Howie.”

She waited for me to say something as if she’d asked me a question. I can appreciate bluntness but I had no fucking idea what to say to her. I looked like a dumb ass when I shrugged with my mouth hanging wide open. “We are going to talk about this whether you like it or not.” She said crossing her arms, “I have a sixth sense when it comes to sniffing out guy trouble so spill it. I can help, I promise.”

The thing that surprised me the most is not what she said, it’s that she didn’t want to talk about him just for the sake of gossip. I think she genuinely wanted to help. She was right, I was having guy trouble and I was afraid to date Howie. “It’s complicated.” I finally said thinking about the whole situation. “It really doesn’t have anything to do with Howie.”

Leighanne didn’t buy that for a second, and she didn’t look amused either. “Ok, it has everything to do with Howie,” I admitted, “And yet it has nothing to do with him as well.”

I could tell she was intrigued by what I said. She believed me though, so I guess that was a good start, but I’m a pretty tough case. I doubt even her sixth sense would be able figure out what was going on in my head. “He treated me like a lady.” I said.

“You are a lady.” Leighanne said letting herself giggle again.

“I may be a female, but I ain’t a fucking lady. I wasn’t raised to be one and I sure as hell ain’t used to being treated like one. Howie scared the shit out of me on several different levels.”

“It felt good didn’t it?” Leighanne said.

She smiled at me but it was like she felt sorry for me at the same time. Not pity, she didn’t pity me, she just felt bad. In fact she gave me that same smile that her husband gave me when he noticed the bruise on my face. Then the strangest thing happened. I let my guard down, and not just a little. I wanted desperately to figure out what was wrong with me and I just began spilling everything that was on my mind. “It felt real good.” I said with a sigh, “Too good.”

“So what? You don’t think you deserve a little respect?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had that kind of respect. Never done a damn thing to deserve it. My friends respect me because I’m tough. If I let someone treat me like that, they’d see it as weakness. They’d laugh at me. If they ever found out that I liked it, they’d probably crucify me.”

“What kind of friends are those?”

“The only ones I’ve ever known. Don’t get me wrong; Danny and John are the best friends anyone could ever ask for. They love me, and they’re probably the only people on this planet that do. But they’re guys, and to them, so am I. I don’t know what would happen if I suddenly started acting like a girl.”

“You can’t stay one of the guys forever. Eventually the hormones will catch up to ya. It can’t be easy pretending to be something you’re not all the time.”

Leighanne’s words hit me like a slap in the face. Could she be right? Was I really just pretending? I sat there for a minute thinking about it and realized how much I’ve been struggling lately. Everyday seems like a fight. It’s like those city boys showing up just threw whisky on a fire that was already started. “I don’t have a choice.” I said.

At first I didn’t know I’d said that out loud, but when it came out of my mouth I realized it was true. I loved Danny and John, but I hated who I was. “That’s what your problem is.” Leighanne said sincerely. “I was wrong. You’re not having guy troubles, you’re having girl troubles.”

I slumped back in my chair feeling pretty defeated but Leighanne continued to smile. “You’re in luck.” She said, “Because in case you haven’t noticed, if there’s one thing I’ve truly figured out how to be, it’s a girl.”

I smirked, thinking she had no idea just how true that statement was, but I still just felt so depressed. “You do have a choice, you know. There’s nothing wrong with embracing your feminine side a little. Give it a chance; you might be surprised how natural it feels. Don’t worry about your friends. They’ve been your friends forever. I’m sure they’ll understand. Who knows? They may even like it.”

Leighanne was right. It was time to be brave. I always thought I was brave because I’m not scared of anybody, but it turned out I was really a fucking coward and the person I was scared of was me.

I must be more of a girl than I realize too because I loved the entire day. As it turns out, I love being pampered. Sue me? You know you’d love it too. At the salon they died my hair from its plain mousy brown to a rich brunette with just a hint of red. I didn’t think you would be able to tell any difference. Isn’t brown still just brown?

Let me tell you what, its not! When I saw the finished product I hardly recognized myself but as I looked in the mirror I couldn’t wipe the silly grin from my face. Shit, I didn’t just like it. I loved it! And whatever they did to my eyebrows? That hurt like a bitch but it looked amazing when they were done. For a minute I started to believe Leighanne that I really was kind of pretty. I was curious to see the finished product.

Oh God, then my favorite part of the day was when the lady went to do my nails. You should have seen her face! She turned white as a ghost and called over three other people for a fucking consultation. Leighanne and I never laughed so hard in our lives! It took them like an hour but I’ll be dammed if they didn’t get every hint of grease off my fingers. And god, you should feel how soft these babies are now. Brian, eat your heart out! I didn’t let them do the fake fingernails they wanted knowing that I would only be under the hood of a car tomorrow morning and the damn things might get in the way. But they did file what little nails I had and polished them up so pretty I was afraid to touch anything. And then they did my goddamned toenails! It was fucking hilarious!

After that Leighanne dragged me around the mall relentlessly, starting with Victoria’s Secret. “What the hell are we doing in here?” I asked when we began looking through all the lacy underwear.

“A girl doesn’t look sexy unless she feel’s sexy.” Leighanne said picking up the silkiest pair of panties I’d ever seen.

“And these…” she said with a hint of naughtiness in her voice as she playfully rubbed them on my bare arm, “Feel sexy.”

I wanted to look at her like she was insane but again, she was right. I wouldn’t mind feeling that against my skin once in a while instead of the cotton ones I always wear. She knew what she was doing. I’ll give her that.

After only a little bit of convincing, I let Leighanne pick out a pair of matching bra and panties that she said were sure to make me “feel sexy”. We looked around a bit and wandered into the lingerie part of the store. I looked at all the different things and picked out the most risky think I could find and said, “Fine, but if I’m not leaving here without something new, then neither are you.”

“I already have tons of this stuff.” She said trying to brush me off. “Probably too much.

“Anything that looks like this?” I asked holding up the naughty outfit. When Leighanne saw what I was holding up she blushed a little and laughed as she shook her head.

“This has kitchen sex written all over it.” I said.

“I couldn’t!” she gasped.

“Hey, if I have to try something new, then so do you!”

Leighanne looked at me a little unsure, “Come on Leighanne, give it a chance. You might be surprised how natural it feels.” I teased throwing her own words back in her face.

Leighanne’s jaw dropped when she couldn’t think of an excuse to refuse me, and god damnit, I giggled for the first time in my life.

After that, we went from store to store and tried on outfit after outfit. God she’s an exhausting woman. I don’t know how she does it. When we both had more bags than we could carry Leighanne finally decided to call it quits. She picked out her favorite outfit of everything we had and dragged me into the ladies room insisting that I change. She wanted to prove to me that I could turn heads. “Everything!” she called out tossing the Victoria’s Secret bag under the stall door. “We have to complete the entire ensemble.”

I changed into my new “sexy underwear” and then put on a short jean skirt and a fitted knit top. Then I slipped on an amazing pair of cowgirl boots. I had fallen in love with them the instant Leigh pulled them off the shelf. She laughed at me and said the fact that I got so excited over shoes meant that there was absolutely no question that there was a girl inside me somewhere.

I came out of the stall and took a spin. Leighanne clapped excitedly and then handed me a fat leather belt and the dangliest pair of earrings I’ve ever seen. I left my hair down but the stylist had layered it and gave me a few bangs that he then pushed to the side in order to frame my face. I put everything on and shrugged nervously.

Leighanne looked me up and down and then tugged at my skirt and flipped my hair a little. Then she reached up and unbuttoned the top button of my shirt. I looked at her surprised and she smiled devilishly. “We spent good money on that sexy push-up bra for a reason.” She giggled. Maybe I was wrong about her. Maybe she didn’t need any advice about wild and crazy lovemaking. The more time I spent with her the less innocent she became.

I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. I could hardly believe the person staring back at me. As I studied my new look Leighanne’s cell phone rang. Of coarse I can’t be sure, I don’t really follow music at all, but I think her ring tone was a fucking Backstreet Boys song. I laughed and she shrugged. I can just picture her dancing around in her room singing into her hairbrush to a poster on her wall. The image was fucking priceless. I’d better be careful or she’ll be having me over for sleepovers where we make up dance routines to that teenybopper crap in no time. I’m willing to try new things and all, but I do have my limits.

“Hey Howie!” Leighanne said into the phone making a face at me as she exaggerated his name. I rolled my eyes, now she was just giving me shit for the fun of it. “That’s perfect!” she exclaimed, “I’m at the mall right now. Why don’t you guys come grab something here and then we can all go over together?”

I got nervous when she said we should all meet up. God, how could I face that man now? And looking like this? How could I face any of them? Leighanne snapped her phone shut. “Brian took Baylee to see Grandma at the hospital, but the other guys are hungry. They’re going to head this way and eat something then we can all go over to the hospital together.” She said with a wink and then checked her makeup in the mirror.

She saw the look on my face and smiled. “Don’t be nervous. You look amazing and they’re going to love you!”

Leighanne and I wandered over to the food court and got smoothies while we waited. As we walked the mall I felt so self conscious and it didn’t help that Leighanne giggled every time somebody looked at me. “See?” Leighanne said, “You’re turning all kinds of heads.”

Just as she said that a guy walking toward us tipped his fucking cowboy hat and flashed us a gorgeous smile. “Ladies.” He greeted politely as he passed.

I blushed. I couldn’t believe it! She did it. Leighanne fucking pulled it off. I definitely had a long way to go on the inside, but I sure did look the part of a lady. A not too bad looking one, I might add.

Once we had our smoothies in hand we walked over to the railing and looked down at the lower floor of the mall. We were pointing out good-looking guys to each other until we heard familiar voices coming up behind us. I recognized the whiney voice of Nick instantly. “Why are we in a mall? Might I remind you that we’re in fucking Lexington Kentucky! Can we please get out of here before we get mobbed.”

“What’s a matter Nicky?” AJ teased, “Don’t want people to see your face?”

“Fuck you AJ.” Nick whined making me grin with satisfaction. I’m glad the fucker was miserable over his pretty little face.

“Back off AJ. Nicky’s had a rough day.” Howie said in Nick’s defense yet still laughed at him.

When I heard Howie’s voice I stiffened up. Leighanne turned around to face them but I felt myself turning red so I stayed put until I could compose myself. “Hey guys! How was your meeting? I hope Baylee wasn’t too much trouble.”

“Naw, Baylee’s a good Kid.” AJ said.

“Who’s your friend Leigh?” Nick said with that same cocky tone I heard in his voice the first time we met.

“And why have we never had the pleasure of meeting her before?” AJ added turning up his charm. His efforts were less than subtle but his voice was fucking sexy. Total player. Player or not… I shrugged. I took a slow deep breath and then plastered a smile on my face as I turned around. I couldn’t let them see how nervous I was. “Hello again boys.” I greeted.

The look on their faces was worth all the hours I spent today making myself look like this. Fucking brilliant! All three of them fucking speechless! “Cindy?” Howie finally gasped.

Leighanne beamed with pride over their reactions. “What do you think?” she asked.

“Wow!” AJ said nodding his approval.

Howie took a step toward me and had I not been leaning against a railing I would have taken a step back. He took my hand in his. I wanted to pull away but I was fucking putty at his touch. He raised my hand above my head making me spin. “You look beautiful.” He said.

Oh God, what was is it with me and the fucking blushing lately? I couldn’t make myself stop. I tried my hardest not to smile as I looked down at our hands. He’d let my hand fall back to my side yet somehow managed not to let go. His fingers were barely clinging to mine and I made no effort to break us apart.

There was some kind of electricity that pulsed through by body when he touched me. It was a feeling that twisted up my insides into tight knots and made me want to explode, but in a good way. Fucking magic. Shit, could this be what I think it is? No fucking way! Love at first sight doesn’t fucking exist! Fucking fairytales aren’t real!

And just to prove my point, had this been a fairy tale, that moment would have lasted long enough for Howie to sweep me off my feet, declare his love to me and then whisk me off to some far off palace where he would make me hiss queen. As it is, the fucking cocky-ass blonde ruined our moment. “Holy shit Leighanne!” he laughed. “One day with you and she’s fucking Barbie! Look at her blush! It’s like the taming of the fucking shrew.”

What a fucking prick! That man was about to get his ass handed to him. My eyes narrowed and my fists clenched as both Howie and AJ gave him dirty looks. I was so angry that I had no words. I didn’t need words though. “Damnit Nick!” Leighanne yelled about ready to kick the shit out of the man herself.

Nick, Howie and AJ all looked at Leighanne in utter shock. Apparently such an outburst wasn’t exactly characteristic of the good natured, bubbly blonde. “Sometimes you can be such a… such a…”

Leighanne struggled to find the right words. “Jerk?” Howie supplied.

“Fucking ass hole!” she finally screamed at the top of her lungs.

“Holy shit.” AJ laughed in response to Leighanne’s statement.

Nick’s jaw dropped. I can imagine that was probably the first time she’s ever used that word. I couldn’t help the smirk on my face. Leighanne grabbed my hand and gave it a tug. “Come on Cin.” She said starting to drag me off protectively.

I followed but glanced back at the three men staring at us, completely baffled. I gave Nick a look that probably could have killed him if I’d kept it up long enough, but my eyes drifted to Howie. He watched me walk away with apologetic eyes. As I looked at him I couldn’t help but think of the butterflies that were still kind of floating around in my stomach. So much for fairytales.

I turned back around and was surprised to see tears in Leighanne’s eyes. “I’m sorry.” She said, “Nick doesn’t always think before he says things.”

“Look, don’t worry about it. I won’t lose sleep over him tonight.”

“No I do, I feel bad. He shouldn’t have said that.”

“He’s an ass.” I said, “I swear, you shouldn’t feel bad about anything. Shit Leighanne, you’ve been more kind to me than anyone in my life ever has. I’ve had such an amazing day that nothing a little prick like him could possibly say would ruin it.”

Leighanne stopped walking and looked at me with a pout. “Really?” she asked wiping the tears from her face.

“Really.” I reassured her, “Honestly, I can’t thank you enough.”

Leighanne cracked a smile and then without warning threw her arms around me in a big fucking hug. Surprised doesn’t even begin to describe what I felt. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to react. The woman must have been losing her mind. Finally I managed a weak hug in return hoping that might get her off of me. She pulled herself away and smiled at me again. “We’re going to be great friends.” She said and then continued walking again.

I stood there for a brief second trying to figure out what the hell just happened and then walked along side her. There was an awkward silence, or at least I thought it was awkward, until Leighanne gave a slight laugh. “It did feel kind of good to yell at him though. Did you see the look on his face?” After that, Leighanne and I laughed all the way to the fucking hospital.

Chapter 9: Back To Ordinary

Leighanne and I parted ways when we reached the hospital and I knew that my fairy tale day had come to an end. I could hear the screaming all the way down the hall the minute I stepped foot on my mother’s floor. I was not looking forward to driving her home. The only things she hates worse than me are hospitals and being sober. So unless she talked someone into pumping vodka straight through her IV, which I seriously doubt, chances were she was going to be a raging bitch when I found her.

Raging bitch turned out to be pretty accurate, maybe even a bit of an understatement. The hospital figured my mother’s wounds were abuse related… (No shit.) Anyway they called the police and mom spent the entire morning covering for that no good bastard. They, of coarse, saw through the bullshit and tried to convince her that she should get counseling. As if she wasn’t bitchy enough! God! What were they trying to do, make my life a living hell?

Well their plan worked because she bitched at me all the way home. Mostly about the hospital and their incompetent staff and the stale food and the weird smell. Then about the idiot police and their bad attitudes and the nerve that they suggested she needs therapy. Shit! That woman needs a lot more than therapy! When she didn’t have anything else to complain about on those subjects she simply moved on to me. Not an uncommon practice in our house. I’m usually first on her list of things to bitch about and today there was plenty. Apparently Leighanne had turned me into a whore, or at least that’s what my mother thought. That of coarse brought up my lifestyle in general. My mom was sure I was fucking everyone in town and she hated my two “idiot” best friends. Personally I think she’s jealous of them. It’s no secret that I love them more than her, but honestly, can you blame me?

By the time I got her home I was already late for work. When I came to get her the cops made me give a statement. A lot of fucking good that did! I was more than happy to rat out my fucking father. The bastard deserves to rot in hell. But, you gotta love the police! Since I wasn’t actually there when it happened and my mother wouldn’t cooperate, they couldn’t do a damn thing.

And the bastard gets away with it again.

I helped my mom to the couch and handed her the remote pretty sure that she would only stay there long enough for me to walk out the door before finding the nearest bottle of whatever. I used to not keep it in the house and dump it when I found her stash, but there’s no fucking point. It just gets more expensive that way because she buys more the minute she runs out. After all these years I’ve just come to accept my life for what it is.

I was half way to work before I realized that I hadn’t changed my clothes. I didn’t have time to go back but I figured what the hell. I decided that I liked it and I was kind of curious to see how all the guys would react. It was kind of fun to see the looks on the city boys’ faces and they’re still strangers. I’ve known everyone in this town my whole life and I’m pretty sure they’re all gonna fucking die when I show up in a fucking skirt. Hal heard me come through the back door. “Hey kid! Is that you? Where the hell you been?” he called.

“Sorry Hal! Momma spent the night in the hospital and the police took their sweet-ass time taking our statements before she could be released.”

I know I may have said that statement casually as if it were something that happened every day, but shit, it didn’t surprise me and it shouldn’t have surprised him. “Jesus honey, is she all right?” Hal asked heading for the shotgun he kept in the back.

“Relax Hal.” I said taking the gun from him. “She’ll get over it.”

Hal took a breath and then noticed me for the first time. He stared at me with this look on his face that I couldn’t figure out in the least. His mouth fell open but no sound escaped from it. He stood there for so long barely able to blink that I thought the man was having a fucking heart attack. I shrugged and then tugged at my outfit. “What do ya think?” I asked nervously.

“My God Cindy, I didn’t know you had it in ya.”

“You’re not the only one.” I smirked. “Surprised the hell out of me too.”

Hal continued to stare at me. It’s like he was paralyzed. He looked me up and down and then down and up. Finally, when I wasn’t sure I could take it anymore, his mouth curved into a tiny smile. Seeing his approval I was able to relax. “I kind of like it.” I admitted. “You think Danny and John will like it too?”

“Shit honey! There’s not a goddamned guy in the world that wouldn’t like it.”

Hal and I looked at each other and then I laughed a little as I hugged the man. The hug surprised him as much as the new look but he didn’t protest. He returned the hug as if he’d been waiting his whole fucking life for it. He pulled away from me and rested his hands on my shoulders. I could tell he was truly concerned as he stared me down. “Are you sure everything’s all right?”

I knew he was talking about more than just mamma, I know I’ve been acting crazy lately. I thought about today before answering him. Sure momma ended it on quite a pleasant note, but before that, everything I’d done with Leighanne? God, today had been unusual, but it had also been relaxing and fun and fucking enlightening. I thought of Howie and the smile on his face when he saw me today and I couldn’t help the smile on my own face. “You know Hal?” I said, “I really think I’m gonna be ok.”

That was the honest to God’s truth. I was in the middle of some crazy identity crises, but after today I saw light at the end of the tunnel. Things were looking up for me. Leighanne and Brian were going to be great friends and maybe, just maybe I had a shot with Howie. If I manage not to screw it up, I couldn’t help but hope that I might find love after all.

I’d never seen Hal smile at me like that before. He was so proud, like I was his own fucking daughter. I didn’t mind though. It felt kind of good to know that someone cared a little how I turned out. I smiled back but then realized what a fucking awkward moment it was. “Sorry I was late.” I said and then hurried out of the room before things could get any weirder.

Other than Hal and I there were only 4 people in the bar, all regulars. Chuck was perched on a stool chowin’ on peanuts and enjoying a drink after a long day. Then Rick and Steve, a couple of younger guys, farm hands, they were playin a game of pool while Guss starred mindlessly at the TV. It was on some random NFL game but Guss didn’t really care. He was out of work at the moment and trapped in a shitty marriage so he spent most of his time at Hal’s, whether he was drinking or not. I went around the corner bracing myself for the comments I knew were coming my way. I stepped behind the bar and Chuck choked on his whisky the instant he saw me. “God damn Cindy!”

“Nice to see you too Chuck.” I laughed.

Our conversation caught the attention of Rick just as he was about to take his shot. One look at me and he missed sending the 8 ball into the corner pocket. Steve laughed pocketing the 20 bucks they had riding on their game. “Nice shot dumbass.” He laughed but Rick didn’t respond. He was still in shock. Steve followed his gaze and his jaw hit the floor. “Holy shit!” he yelled, “When the hell’d you get so fine?” he said climbing up onto the stool next to Chuck.

Steve’s kind of hot and despite the fact that he’s only 22, he could have his pick of most of the women in this town. I felt kind of special earning his attention. I smirked, enjoying the moment a little and then took a spin. “So you approve?” I asked playfully.

“Hell ya we approve.” Rick said finally joining us at the bar.

“Good, but put your tongue back in your mouth. I may be wearing a skirt but I still won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

“Who’s wearing a skirt?” Guss asked looking up from his game.

He looked at me and smiled. That poor guy really is a sweet man. I don’t know how he ended with that crazy bitch of a wife. Pickins are slim in this town I guess. “Well, well, well, Miss Cindy. You’re looking mighty perdy this evening.”

Guss took a seat and suddenly I had four men watching me curiously and waiting to hear the explanation. I looked into their expectant faces and smiled. “Can I get ya’ll something to drink?”

“Come on Cindy.” Steve said and the others shook their heads along with him, “What’s with the… change?”

“What? It’s still me.”

“Except you’re dressed like a girl.” Rick argued.

“And your hair’s down.” Chuck added.

“And is that lipstick?” Steve asked.

“It’s lip gloss.” I corrected with a laugh remembering the lecture I received this afternoon from Leighanne on the importance of shiny lips.

“Now, see, that’s what we’re talking about.” Steve said eying me skeptically, “Our Cindy doesn’t know the difference between lipstick and lip gloss.”

“Can’t a girl learn a thing or two?”

“We’re not complaining. You’re business is gonna double you keep coming to work looking like that.”

These guys were cracking me up and I was kind of having fun keeping them in the dark a little. To be honest though, I didn’t know how to explain myself. “You know what I think.” Chuck said finally voicing his opinion on the matter. All of us turned his direction half expecting something totally profound to come out of his mouth. “I think it’s them city boys.” He said with a smirk, “Cindy’s always had a weak spot for city boys.”

“Aw, come on now Chuck! Play nice.”

“No, no.” Steve said pondering the possibility, “I think he’s on to something.”

“Yeah after the other night? Shit!”

“Now that’s not fair! It was my birthday. You know as well as I do that I don’t remember what happened the other night!”

“You were all over them boys like flies on shit, that’s what happened.”

The room practically shook, those men were laughing so hard. God I wish I knew what happened that night. I wasn’t amused at all but I guess the fact that I was annoyed was amusing in itself because those motherfuckers couldn’t stop laughing. “The flirting was shameless Cindy.” Rick laughed shaking his head.

“And the dancing!” Steve said making Rick nearly fall from his stool. “I never thought I would see the day.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Dancing? What the fuck are you talking about, dancing?”

The guys just laughed harder. That was it! I had to know what the hell happened that night. I pounded my fist down on the bar. “Free shot to the first one who tells me what the hell happened the other night!” I said.

Immediately all four men began spouting crazy stories. They were all talking at once and it was giving me a fucking headache. “You can’t trust a damn one of them.” Hal laughed joining the party. “They were all wasted after that game. Not a one of them probably really remembers much more than you.”

“So how about it Hal? Since you were probably the only sober man in the house the other night, care to shed some light on the subject?”

“Not much too it Honey. You were plastered like every year. Ya’ll talked with them city folk for a while. Then you danced with one of ‘em. You and Danny got into it.”

“What do you mean we got into it? About what?” I didn’t remember fighting with Danny? Then again, I haven’t actually talked to him or John since that night. I think that’s a record for us.

“Hell if I know kid.” Hal continued, “You know how you two get anytime you’re both drunk.” I shrugged. The man had a point. Danny and I both have pretty short tempers. I swear if John weren’t always there to step in, we’d have killed each other ages ago.

“Well you too were definitely heated over something and he stormed out. That’s when you got really drunk. You and that tall kid ended up in some kind of drinking contest.”

“That blond fuck?” I practically shouted becoming instantly angry as I remembered our last encounter. That guy is such an ass hole. Hal nodded. “At least tell me I drunk him under the table.”

“I don’t know Cindy, that boy could really hold his liquor.”

“You mean he out-drank me!” That motherfucker!

“Actually nobody won.”

I felt relieved but then confused. I’ve never not finished a challenge. I never lose either. “What happened?”

“Eddie showed up.”

“Deputy Dumbass? What’d he want?”

He came to tell you that they had to release Hank on some technicality. Apparently he’s not enough of a threat to keep locked up yet Eddie felt the need to warn you not to cross his path for a few days.”

“God damnit those idiots! I swear!”

“Calm down kiddo. No use stressing about it now. Anyway, after that you were pretty pissed and you and John and those two city boys all left. End of story.”

Damn. That still didn’t explain how I ended up in Nick’s bed the next morning. On the bright side it looks like nobody knew that fact. That is, if Howie really didn’t tell anybody. “Well that doesn’t sound so bad.” I said ignoring the whole dancing thing. (I really don’t dance.) But I was curious as to which one I did dance with. “A lot less eventful than last year if you ask me.”

“Last year you came back to work wearing stitches, not a skirt.” Chuck argued.

“The skirt looks better on ya though.” Rick said.

The guys all toasted my new skirt and then became quiet for a minute sipping down whatever miscellaneous drink I had set in front of them. After that Steve looked at me with a wicked grin, “So how bout it Cindy? Since you’re a girl and all now, you gonna dance with me like you did that city boy the other night?”

“Hal!” I yelled, “I think this boy needs to be cut off! He’s talking crazy shit now.”

The guys all had a good laugh but then went back to their various activities. After a while it got really quiet. After all the excitement I’d had the last couple of days I was kind of glad for it but at the same time I couldn’t help feeling that things were back to ordinary now. (Aside from the skirt of coarse.) And after everything that happened it made me a little said, I think the last couple of days had changed me and I wasn’t sure if I could go back to my same old shity life now. Not now that I know it could be better. I was desperate for a change. I needed something drastic to happen, and I needed it fast.

Chapter 10: Wicked Step-brothers and Fairy Godfathers

Now when I said I needed something to happen fast I had no idea that someone was listening to me, but I really must have a guardian angel that finally decided to start watching out for me. I kid you not, less than an hour after I’d wished for a change Brian strolled into the bar once again bringing the breeze with him. The look on his face suggested he was up to something. “Hey stranger.” I said with a smile when I saw the reverent look on his face.

He smiled without saying any words and finally made me look nervously at my feet. “She said you looked good.” He whispered.

Brian turned around facing the 4 other men in the bar and grinned gesturing toward me, “Is my wife a genus or what?” he laughed.

Chuck glanced at Brian curiously. “Your wife’s the one responsible for this?” He asked sternly pointing my direction.

Brian gulped. I couldn’t blame him. Chuck’s a big guy and even I couldn’t tell what was going through his mind right then. Brian slowly nodded. Chuck rose to his feet and I was ready to jump over the bar in order to stop the beating I thought Chuck was about to give Brian. Chuck walked right up to him and then cracked a smile and grabbed the terrified man’s hand. He gave it a firm shake and then laughed causing everyone in the bar to lighten up. “I just want to be the first one to shake your hand. You make sure and tell that little wife of yours thank you from all us guys.”

Steve and Rick both laughed and gave their appreciation as well. I rolled my eyes but laughed along with them. A little attention’s not such a bad thing. Gus looked up from his game and said to Brian, “You should send her to my house. My wife needs a lot more help than Cindy.” He was serious but he had us all practically rolling on the floor with laughter.

When things finally settled down Brian made his way to the counter and took a seat on the stool in front of me. “I hope Leigh wasn’t too much for you.” He said.

“She’s exhausting for sure.” I laughed, “But just between us, I had a great time.”

“Well I’m glad. And you look fantastic by the way.”

“Thank you.” I said trying my best to just graciously accept the compliment. “So Mr. Can’t hold his liquor, what can I get ya?”

“Well actually,” Brian began with a twinkle in his eyes. “I really just came by to chat.”

“Chat?” I asked sarcastically. What the hell did he want to chat about? I could see it on his face that there was something particular on his mind. I’ve been a bartender way too long to not recognize when someone wants to spill what’s in their head.

“All right let’s chat.” I said placing a glass of ice water in front of him. “How’s your mom? Leighanne said you took that little rug rat of yours to see her.”

Brian sighed. “Well she’s, you know… the same I guess. How’s your mom?”

“Ugh!” I groaned thinking back on the longest drive ever. “She’s back to being Mom. Whatever that is.”

Brian and I exchanged sympathetic smiles. We both had a shity situation but at least we were both still in good spirits. I poured myself a shot. Brian watched me suck down the alcohol as if I needed that drink to survive, and I may just have. Just thinking about that woman makes me frustrated. I looked up at Brian to see that sad smile with the wondering look in his eyes back. I can’t get over how cute it is that he seems to genuinely worry about me. After all, I hardly know the guy. “Our mothers seem to be a less than merry topic,” I sighed sorry I’d brought up the subject. “So what did you want to chat about?”

Finally after a minute he looked at me and got to the point. “I wanted to say thank you… and apologize.”

What the hell was he talking about? Thank me? Thank me for what? And apologize? He had nothing to apologize for. He’s been an angle every time I’ve seen him. He and Leighanne are fucking fabulous. “If anything I should be thanking you.” I laughed. “Shit, between you and Leighanne my life has just improved like 500%”

I smirked when Brian fucking blushed. I guess he was glad he was able to help. Then the smile was gone from his face and he looked up at me with those beautiful piercing blue eyes of his and I swear the man was about to fucking cry. “Leighanne’s been stressed out for months. She’s lived her whole life in Georgia near her family. And even though she was the one who suggested we come back to be close to Mom, I know she was really worried about it. I’ve been feeling so awful about everything, but she was looking ten years younger when she came back today.”

“Right.” I smirked, “So she looked a whole 8 years old?”

“I’m serious.” Brian persisted, “She rattled my ear off for an hour about how much fun she had with you today. She said you’re an amazing person and she’s glad to have a friend here. I swear finding you was an answer to my prayers.”

And there was that fucking word again. Amazing. What the hell kind of alternate universe had I stepped into this week? Two different people called me fucking amazing, one of who is a fucking woman. I’m wearing a skirt and going goo goo over a boy that treats me nice. “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time anyone’s ever said that about me.” I said forcing a laugh. I couldn’t help but be a little uncomfortable. It’s one thing for him to say I look good, but to be the answer to someone’s prayer? I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of praise. God knows I’m nobody’s angel!

“Well thank you anyway.”

Brian looked so pathetically grateful that I couldn’t help but come out from behind the bar and hug the man. Fuck! I’m on a roll lately with all this touchy feely shit lately. I was surprised by the force with which Brian pulled me into his arms and I stood there for a moment letting him hug me as tightly as he needed to. “Sorry.” He whispered still unable to let go. “I just can’t thank you enough.”

I laughed at the entirely too sensitive man but I returned his hug. I was fully aware that everyone in the house was pissing their pants right now but fuck, I really didn’t care. I was surprised that it didn’t bother me but I think what surprised me the most is that I liked the feel of his arms around me. I liked knowing that he was grateful for something I did. I was glad that I could help them out so much even though I still didn’t understand how I’d done it. “You’re welcome.” I finally whispered with a little laugh, “And thank you too. You and Leighanne both.”

Brian finally pulled away and we smiled at one another having an understanding that had not fully been there before. I sat down on the stool next to him and that’s when I realized that things were about to get really fucking complicated. Danny and John had come in the bar just in time to witness my tender moment. They both stood there fucking frozen at the sight of me.

I felt the blood drain from my face and I tensed up on my stool. Brian watched the change curiously and then followed my gaze. John’s eyed darted back and forth between me and Danny while Danny couldn’t take his gaze from me and Brian. The tension in the air was so think it could have stopped a fucking bullet.

Everyone stood there waiting to see what was going to happen. The only person who didn’t seem to understand the severity of the situation was Brian. He looked around at everyone confused but didn’t say anything. Chuck stood up again taking a protective step in my direction. It felt good to know he was on my side no matter how sick I felt. It was obvious that Danny was not happy. “What the Fuck Cindy!” Danny snapped being the first to break the god-awful silence.

Seeing him so angry brought a bunch of mixed feelings. He was looking at me with utter disappointment. I felt sad thinking I’d somehow let him down although I didn’t understand what exactly I’d done. Then I felt scared thinking that he wouldn’t be able to accept all the different things that were starting to change about me. He’s the closest friend I’ve ever had and I love him so much that I would die if we ever had a real falling out.

Mostly though, I felt angry. He had no right to be mad at me right now. I hadn’t done a damn thing to him. He’s always been so hot tempered. And fucking controlling! What the hell should he care what I wear? He’s my best friend. He should be supportive, not fucking jump down my throat without even trying to talk to me.

My blood began to boil as he stared at me with angry eyes. I instinctively became defensive. “What the hell is wrong with you?” I snapped back making only a minimal effort to control my temper.

“Me?” Danny shouted, “What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking blow me off the other night and I find you here hugging this fucking prick? What the fuck Cindy?”

“Watch your fucking mouth Danny. He’s not the prick here.”

“Fuck you!” Danny said taking steps toward me.

“Fuck you!” I screamed jumping up off my stool meeting him in the middle of the room. “From what I hear you’re the one who fucking walked out on me!”

“Yeah and I felt really bad. I’ve been trying to call you for a fucking day and a half. I was home fucking worried sick about you while you were off probably fucking those city motherfuckers!”

“Keeping tabs on me?”

“Somebody fucking has to, the way you’ve been acting lately!”

“You’re not my fucking mother.”

“Thank the fucking Lord for that!”

Normally I’m a hitter. I punch things and I punch them hard but I was so hurt by what he said that I reached up and slapped him across the face. Both of us were shocked. He didn’t budge but my handprint immediately appeared on his face. I regretted my action instantly but then Danny stared at me as if he were truly disgusted. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on here but you’re different. You’re turning into a fucking girl or something.”

“I am a fucking girl! I’ve tried my whole life to ignore that fact afraid that you and John might not like me if I didn’t. Well I’m fucking sick of it. God damn it I like the skirt, and I had fun shopping for it! I’m wearing lacy underwear and if I want to fucking hug somebody I’m gonna fucking do it! And you know what else? I fucking like Thai food!”

Danny stood there with nothing else to say. The fact that he couldn’t accept what I was saying hurt me more than anything had ever in my life. I was overwhelmed with fear that this was going to destroy our friendship forever and for the first time in my life my eyes welled up with tears. One by one tears, real honest to God tears, began rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t stop them, but I didn’t try either. I just stood there staring at him, frozen, pleading with my eyes, desperate for his approval. “Danny?” I finally whispered through my tears.

He shook his in shame and I felt my heart break. Until that moment I didn’t know it could. My whole life had been full of so much sorrow and disappointment that I was sure it was frozen for all eternity but through it all there had always been Danny and now he was turning his back on me when I needed him the most.

Danny reached up and flicked a piece of my newly styled hair. “Nice hair Cinderella.” He said.

That was the first and only time he ever called me by my real name. It was the greatest insult he could have come up with and it hurt like no pain I’d ever felt. He was about to leave and I balled up my fist. “You’re a fucking bastard.” I said coldly and then punched him as hard as I could.

Danny fell to the ground out cold. Everyone in the bar just watched us. I stared down at his unconscious body and just wanted to kick it over and over again but all I could do was cry. John carefully took a step toward me. “Cin.” He whispered and reached out his hand toward me.

I looked up at him and then took a step back from him. I wasn’t mad at him, but I was confused. And I was scared. “Could you please just get him out of here?” I croaked now sobbing.

Danny smiled sadly at me and then nodded. I’m pretty sure he knew I wasn’t angry at him. John has always understood me better than Danny. Like I said, he was always the most sensitive of the bunch. He was worried about me but knew I needed my space so he picked our friend up off the floor and carried him out of the bar.

As soon as they were out the door I ran in to the back and collapsed to the ground. I had lost complete control of my emotions and didn’t know what I was going to do. Brian waited a minute for the shock to wear off and then followed me in to the back. Normally Hal would threaten to shoot any man that dared walk behind his bar but these were not normal circumstances and he let Brian pass without question.

I was surprised when I felt his hand on my shoulder. “You did the right thing.” He said taking a seat on the floor next to me. “It may not feel like it but you’ve got to stand up for yourself. He’ll come around. I don’t know you that well yet but if you really are changing the way he said you are, that’s a good thing.”

I looked up at him wanting so badly to believe him. I needed to believe him. I was scared and hurt and his words were bringing me comfort. He smiled at me and then did something I never expected. He reached up with that delicate touch Leighanne was telling me about and wiped away my tears. My face melted into his hands and I climbed into his arms. He held my close while I cried. “It’ll be OK sweetie.” He whispered.

Normally I would have felt so stupid for the way I was acting but I was so distressed that I didn’t care. I wasn’t think about my actions, I was simply reacting to my own heart. After a minute Brian sat me up and smiled at me retrieving an envelope from God knows where. His eyes twinkled as he handed it to me. “What’s this?” I asked with a shaking voice.

“The reason I came here.” He said, “It’s an invitation.”

I looked at him confused and he blushed. “I sort of started this foundation called the Healthy Hearts Club for Kids a few years ago. We help kids who need heart surgery and educate kids on how to live a heart-healthy lifestyle.”

“You would.” I said with a bit of a smirk finally getting my tears under control.

Brian seemed relieved to see the smile. “Anyway,” he continued, “We’re having this big charity fundraising thing Wednesday night and I know it’s kind of last minute but Leighanne and I would love it if you came with us.”

“What kind of a thing?”

Brian hesitated but then said, “It’s sort of a ball.”

He smirked and I know he thinking it ironic that he was inviting Cinderella to a fucking ball. My mouth dropped to the floor. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Do those even really exist? He had to have meant something else. “A what?” I asked trying not to laugh.

“You know, a nice dinner, a really boring speech given by yours truly, a little live music and some dancing. It would mean a lot to us if you would come. Leighanne always gets really nervous for these things and I stay pretty busy. I know she would love the company.”

“A fucking ball? Are you fucking kidding me?” I laughed, “You two never cease to amaze me.”

“Then you’ll come?”

I hesitated. I couldn’t go to a fucking ball. “I don’t have a thing to wear.” I said only half jokingly.

“I’m pretty sure Leighanne will have that taken care of by tomorrow.” Brian laughed.
I tried to come up with another reason but couldn’t think of any. Finally I sighed. “I’m sorry Brian. I just don’t belong in that kind of world. Look at me. I’m the trailer trash daughter of an abusive alcoholic. I’m a fucking hick.”

Brian’s eyes looked sad and he seemed desperate to convince me. “At the risk of being knocked out,” Brian said, “Let me just point out that Cinderella was the servant girl of a wicked step mother and she deserved a night out.”

“This isn’t a fucking fairy tale Brian and you’re not my fucking fairy godmother.”

“Maybe not, but I am your friend, and you deserve to be happy.”

I looked at my lap unable to look Brian in the eyes. He was right and I knew it, I was just scared. He sat there for a second and then set the invitation on my lap. “Just think about it.” He said and stood up.

Brian started to leave and Hal, who had witnessed the entire conversation, nodded respectfully as he passed. I looked up as Brian walked through the door. He turned around and smiled at me one last time. “You know where to find me.” He said and then left.

Hal smiled at me but didn’t say anything. He let me be and I just sat there for a while trying to catch my fucking breath.

Chapter 11: The Last Straw

I woke up the next morning and the only thing I could think about was having to go to work and face Danny. I didn’t want to. In fact I never wanted to see that motherfucker’s face ever again. Well, I take that back, I wanted to see what it looked like after the blood had time to rise to the surface of his skin. But after seeing the bruise, that’s it! And I sure as hell didn’t want to speak to him. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

I got ready a little early and stopped by John’s house hoping to catch him before he left. I was in luck. He was walking out the door when I pulled up. He saw me and hopped in the passenger seat and I started making the drive across town. “Jesus Cindy. I gotta tell you I’m glad to see ya. I half expected you to call and tell me you weren’t coming back to work ever after that display you put on yesterday.”

“That’s why I’m here. Wanted to explain myself when I told you I quit.”

“Cin! You can’t quit. I need ya.”

I really felt bad for John. The poor guy always seemed to be stuck in the middle of me and Danny. It had to be hard on the guy and with something as big as this I feared that there might not be a way to stay friends with both of us. Danny John and I have been just that for as long as any of us can remember. It hurt to think that our time together had come to an end but we had to face the reality that all things come to an end eventually. “Who are we kidding here?” I asked, “You know damn well that that fight yesterday was about a lot more than the color of my hair.”

“I know that Cin, but you can’t just not be friends anymore. You can’t just quit your job.”

“I’m not quitting because of Danny.”

John looked so confused and right then I found myself wishing that I could be as good at dulling out the advice as Brian seemed to be. Unfortunately I’ve never been any fucking good with words. “Danny was right yesterday.” I said.

“Danny was an ass yesterday.”

“Yeah, but he was still right. There’s something different about me. I’ve changed.”

“I like it.”

“Me too, but its made me stop and evaluate my life.” I said, “I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but things are pretty shity for me. I think it’s time I got out of this hell hole.”

“Are you saying you’re gonna leave Hanley?”

“I think so.”

I’d been giving myself this same speech all night but until I said it out loud I wasn’t sure that’s really what I wanted. But it felt so damn good to say it that I knew it had to be the right thing. “I gotta get out of here.” I said with renewed excitement. “I gotta get away from my parents. I gotta get away from Hal and that damn bar. I have to get away from my own fucking reputation. God, there’s a whole fucking world out there and I’ve never seen it. I just don’t think I can be happy here, not anymore and I deserve to be happy.”

I pulled into the shop as I finished my speech and I turned off the car. John looked crushed but after a minute he smiled at me. “You know I don’t want you to go, but if anyone deserves to be happy, its you Cindy.” He said. “I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Thanks John.” I said.

We kind of had an awkward silence for a minute. It’s like we knew it was time to say goodbye but neither of us knew how. We just sat there fucking staring at each other wishing the other would say something. He looked at me expectantly and I just shrugged. That’s when Danny pulled up. All of my anger resurfaced at the sight of him. He looked at us and then headed straight inside. Just seeing him made my head start to hurt. I leaned over the steering wheel and buried my face in my hands.

John sighed deeply and I knew I wasn’t getting out of there without talking to Danny. I knew John would make sure of that. I understand you have to go.” He started, “But you can’t eave this the way they are with Dan. You guys are practically family.”

“Not anymore.” Part of me knew that was not true. Danny and I were always fighting about something. It took us a month to get past John and I sleeping together, but we still got past it. I wanted to believe that this was no different but it felt so final.

“You still love him don’t you?”

I looked at John wanting so much to say no but I couldn’t. Danny’s the closest thing to family I’ve got. I can’t just forget over a quarter of a century of memories. The fact that I couldn’t say a damn thing was all the answer John needed. He smiled a fucking “you know I’m right” look and then said, “You’re not leaving right this second, so why don’t you come help me fix that Beemer. You know I’m terrible with German cars and I know you got a soft spot for that city boy.”

I looked nervously at the shop where I knew Danny was inside still fuming. “Dan will get over it Cin. He’s just jealous.”

“Jealous?” I couldn’t help but gasp. Did john really think he was jealous? What did he possibly have to be jealous of?

John fucking read my thoughts and chuckled to himself. “He’s never had to share ya before. Not with anyone but me and you know that doesn’t count.”

I wasn’t quite convinced but John insisted. He got out of the car and came around and opened mine. “Come on Cin, at least try.”

I followed him inside. What the fuck was I supposed to do? We went inside and Danny was already under the hood of a Chevy that had been towed in over the weekend. He didn’t bother to look up when we walked through the garage to the office and I was kind of glad he didn’t. I slipped on my spare set of work overalls and pulled my hair back through my ball cap. John handed me a cup of coffee and we went to work.

I went straight to work on Brian’s car and stayed there for two hours until it was fixed. I’d barely said five words to John and hadn’t once even glanced Danny’s direction. It was quite a dismal fucking day in the shop. When I was finished I called Brian to let him know his car was done. Leighanne answered the phone and she had so much to tell me that she began rattling off the moment she knew it was me. She wanted to know if I was going to come to the ball and didn’t wait to hear the answer before telling me that she’d found me the perfect dress. I couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer fucking giddiness that woman could display. She’s a fucking riot. “Slow down Leigh.” I laughed, “I’m just calling to let you know the car’s ready.”

Leighanne said she and Brian would come right over and she was excited to bring Baylee with her. I laughed and told her I was excited to finally meet the little tyke and then hung up the phone. I turned around to make my way to the office to gather all the paperwork and I met Danny’s gaze. His stare was fucking piercing. I think he was literally trying to use heat vision to make my head explode like he was fucking Superman or something. “Since when do you like kids?” he laughed bitterly.

“Don’t know that I do. Ain’t never fucking been around one before.” I spat and headed for the office.

Now, John’s a good man; the patience of a saint but that day Danny and I found his breaking point. I guess all the tension was too much because as I stormed off to the office, he grabbed Danny and fucking dragged him in behind me. He slammed the door shut and blocked the way for either of us to escape. “You two quit acting like a couple of fucking babies!” he yelled.

Danny and I were both shocked. John just isn’t the type of guy to be strong-arming anybody but he was pretty fed up. He looked at Danny and yelled, “Cin’s got some new friends. Deal with it!” then he looked my way, “And you! Whether you meant to or not you hurt his feelings! So both of you, say you’re fucking sorry and get the fuck over it!”

John stormed out of the office and slammed the door shut behind him. Danny and I couldn’t do anything but stand there, blinking at each other. I have to admit, I was tired of this bullshit. I looked at his face and felt guilty at how swollen it was. I learned a long time ago that if you hit the cheekbone right underneath the base of the eye, it’s pretty easy to chip the bone. It hurts like a bitch and looks just as bad. I could see that there was guilt in Danny’s eyes as well but I was surprised that he was the first to break the silence. “I’m sorry I called you… well… you know.”

“I’m sorry about your face.” I replied. “It’s not broken is it?”

“You always did know how to throw a punch.” He said with a smirk, “But on the bright side, they gave me some good shit for the pain. If you want to come over and get drunk and watch Millionaire tonight I’ll share some with ya.”

I was still pretty angry but I couldn’t help the smirk on my face. We smiled at one another and walked out of the office both feeling a tiny bit better. We still had a long fucking way to go. We by no means had any kind of closure, but we apologized for the obvious, so I guess that was a start even if the deeper issues did go unspoken. What did you expect? We’re a couple of fucking guys. Well, sorta. You know what I mean.

Anyway, about five minutes after that we heard cars pull up to the shop. I knew it was probably Brian and Leighanne and I was nervous. I knew that was just going to piss Danny off all over again. At the same time though, I was excited to see them.

Leighanne was the first one inside the garage and I saw the three fucking stooges following close behind. Leighane giggled when she saw me and threw her arms around me. “So are you going to come Cindy? Please tell me you’re going to come?”

“I don’t know.” I hesitated.

“Come where?”

I groaned on the inside at the sound of Nick’s voice. Leighanne turned to him and said, “To the charity ball, silly.”

Then Leighanne turned to me and said, “You have to! I found you the perfect dress and I’ve already made appointments with my stylist to have our hair done up.”

“OH God!” Nick groaned as Brian arrived carrying the most adorable little boy I’ve ever seen in my life. “Hey Cindy!” He chirped happily.

I don’t know what the hell put him in such a good mood, but there was a fucking glow about his face that made me laugh. When I laughed, he and his son both laughed and I tell you that kid is the spitting image of his father. A fucking precious sight really.

“I don’t think that’s such a good Idea.” Nick continued, “Do you know what your wife said after the last time she spent the day with this woman?”

Brian giggled and threw his arm around me. He grinned wickedly and then said, “I don’t care what she said, this little lady right here is allowed to spend the day with my wife any time she wants!”

Brian practically sang the words and then winked at me. I laughed as I shook my head at him. “Your wife cooked you up a little something special in the kitchen last night didn’t she?” I said fucking impressed that Leighanne did it.

Brian blushed fiercely and I laughed. I looked at Leighanne. She walked up to me and whispered in my ear, “Between you and me I’ve never been much of a cook, but I do owe Brian a new shirt.”

Leighanne and I burst into laughter together and stopped when we met the curious looks of her friends. Nick looked at Brian and pointed at us. “That’s what I’m talking about. Do you really want to put up with that all night?”

“Come on Nick!” Brian said putting a hand on his shoulder. “Remember what we talked about. We love Cindy and we’re going to be nice from now on.”

Brian spoke to the fucker like he was a three year old and Howie, AJ and I all snickered at the pout on his face. Brian smiled at me and said, “Nick promises to behave himself and it would break Leighanne’s heart if you don’t come, so what do ya say?”

I stood there with everyone staring at me and I could feel John and Danny’s eyes on my back. I looked at Leighanne and she was biting her lip with anticipation. Then I looked at Nick who was still pouting like a god damn two year old. Hell, going might be worth it just to make that bastard fucking miserable all night. Then my eyes caught Howie’s. He smiled at me and nodded his head urging me to say yes. With the look he gave me, how could I possibly say no. “OK,” I finally gave in, “I’ll go but I’m afraid I don’t really know how to dance.”

“It’s not hard. All it takes is the right partner.” Leighanne said and not so subtly nudged Howie a little closer to me.

“You did fine the other night, but I could teach you if you’d like.” Howie said with a hint of redness in his cheeks.

So, it was Howie I danced with. Fuck, how come I had to be so god damned drunk that night? I’ve never really cared for dancing much but the thought of Howie’s arms around me sounded like something I didn’t want to miss. “Sounds like fun.” I replied.

“I can’t listen to any more of this shit!” Danny yelled startling me free from the spell Howie seemed to have me under.

“Here we fucking go again!” I yelled turning my attention to Danny. “Do I need to kick you fucking ass again?”

Leighanne’s face paled and she took her toddler from her husband’s arms. “You want to do drive the car Baylee?” she asked making the kid squeal.

I think she just wanted to get him away from all the four letter words. I felt bad about swearing in front of her kid but shit I can’t even begin to describe how pissed off I was. “Jesus Cindy! These people aren’t your friends. Look at what they’re doing to you! They’re treating you like you’re a fucking doll or something. Like you’re their goddamned pet.”

“What the fuck do you care?”

“Listen to yourself! Shopping and dancing and a fucking ball? Are you fucking kidding me? Cin! Please! This isn’t you.”

“Maybe not.” I said. “But getting drunk to Millionaire every night seeing how many times I can use the word fuck in a single sentence isn’t me either.”

“Never bothered you before.” Danny said coldly, “These people have changed you Cindy. They didn’t turn you into a girl, they turned you into a fucking bitch.”

“Yeah well, you reached ass hole status all by yourself. Congrat-u-fucking-lations.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. “I’m out of here.” I said. “I’m leaving Hanley. Forever. I never want to see you again.”

“Cindy?” Danny gasped, suddenly becoming worried. Did he miss the conversation we just had? Well I sure as hell didn’t and I wasn’t about to get all sentimental now.

“Go to hell Danny.” I whispered and then walked out of that shop for the last time.

Chapter 12: Prince Charming

Oh sigh! I know, right now you might need to stop and take a bit of a breather. I have to every time I get to this part of the story and God knows how many times I’ve told it now, but I was so angry I could have probably killed somebody right then. I left the shop but was way too emotional and high-strung to get behind the wheel of a car so I started walking. I didn’t know where I was going; I was just cooling off. After a couple of minutes I heard someone catch up to me and put their hand on my shoulder. “Damnit John, I don’t need a fucking lecture right now!” I yelled assuming that’s who was behind me.

“No lecture. I just wanted to see if you were alright.” Said a much softer voice.

My heart stopped when I heard Howie speak. It startled me and I whirled around so fast that my ponytail actually smacked him in the face. “Sorry.” I cringed when he blinked a hair out of his eye.

“It’s alright. That’s what I get for being so short.” He said.

One sentence out of his mouth and there was a smile on my face again. It’s amazing how he can do that, but he’s just so god damn likeable. So… charming. So… Prince fucking Charming! I let out a sigh and then shrugged. “I’ve been through worse.” I replied. I don’t know what kind of answer that was but honestly I didn’t know if I was all right. All I knew is that eventually I would be.

Just as I was wondering to myself what he was doing there, Howie looked at me with a guilty expression. “I’m sorry if that back there was because of me.” He said. I didn’t mean to laugh, but what kind of ridiculous statement was that?

“Is he your boyfriend?” Howie asked.

I laughed again. “Danny? No.” I answered but then sighed, “Not for a long, long time. That back there really had nothing to do with you. I’m afraid that’s been building up for a long time. He just used you as his excuse to get it out.”

Howie shrugged shyly not really sure what to say next. He seemed sad though. I could tell he really wanted to make me feel better and this time I kind of wanted him to. “I know I sort of blew you off before,” I said deciding to just fuck it all and go for it, “But if I say I’m sorry, would you still want to buy me lunch?”

I was relieved when Howie’s face lit up at the suggestion. He held his arm out and I looked at it curiously. I didn’t know what the hell he was doing. He laughed at me and then used his other hand to place my arm in his. God I’m such an idiot! How did I not know he was offering his arm to me? Well, I guess maybe its because no guy ever has.

I blushed and forced a nervous laugh but I could tell that no matter how stupid I felt, Howie just thought it was cute. I looked down at my hand resting gently on his forearm and smiled. That was a good place for it. Without saying anything he began leading me down the street. As we walked I felt completely at peace. It was like everything that I’ve been through lately never happened. Like the world didn’t fucking exist. Nobody had ever been able to make me feel half of what I felt as we walked up the street in silence. I glanced up at him curiously and he smiled sweetly. I looked into his eyes and god, I just wanted that man to rescue me from this place and take me home with him. I know that sounds a bit like a fucking fairy tale and I’ll be the first to admit that those aren’t real, but a girl can dream can’t she? If there were a shooting star anywhere I would have fucking wished on it!


Neither of us spoke until Gale, (I mean the waitress) asked us what we wanted. Before she left she looked at Howie and then flashed an approving smile at me. I don’t think Howie saw it but I smirked and when I smiled he smiled. “I’m glad you changed your mind.” He said, “Because I was planning to ask you again and it would have broken my heart if you’d have said no.”

“I’m sorry about the other day. I was just having a rough week.” I tried to explain but it felt somewhat pointless. “I’m also just not used to people being nice to me.”

“I know. You told me all about it on your birthday.”

Great! I was drunk and spilling all my problems to a fucking stranger. How the fuck did he get “amazing” from that? “You know I really have no idea what happened that night, right?”

“I know.”

“So you want to tell me how the hell I ended up in Nick’s bed the next morning? Because it’s been driving me fucking crazy. Even drunk I can’t imagine how I let that happen.”

“Well that’s quite an interesting story really.” Howie laughed.

“And you obviously remember it.”

“I wasn’t drinking that night. AJ doesn’t like being in bars too much since he got sober, so he took Brian home right after the game. I knew I was going to have to drive Nick home later, so yeah, I remember everything that happened that night.”

“So?”

“You really want to know?”

I thought about that for a minute. Did I want to know? Finally I decided I was probably better off leaving it a mystery, especially the Nick thing. When it came down to it, I really didn’t want to know. There was only one thing I was curious about. “Just tell me one thing.” I said making him curious, “What song did we dance to?”

Howie grinned and I blushed, yet again. “It’s just that I’ve never actually danced before and since I can’t remember it I’d like to at least know what it was I danced to.”

Howie sat there staring at me and for some reason I felt so self-conscious. I must have seemed like the biggest fucking idiot on the planet. Howie looked around the diner and then smiled at me full of excitement. “I can do better than that.” He said and then got up from the table.

I had no idea what the fuck he was about to do. Where was he going? I watched curiously as he walked across the room and slid a quarter into an old jukebox. Then he walked back over to me and held out his hand. Was he really asking me to dance right there in the middle of the diner? I looked around at the other people eating their lunch and I mush have looked at him like he was crazy. Howie smiled. “Why just tell you when I can help you remember. Dance with me.”

OK, so how fucking romantic was that? What could I do? I didn’t have any choice, my body just kind of gravitated toward him and he pulled me to my feet. God, all my butterflies were back and I swear I felt lightheaded as he pulled me against him. He put my arms around his neck and then fucking slid his hands around my waist.

When the music started he began to rock me back and forth and twirled me in circles to the music. I was fucking hypnotized by him and no longer cared if everyone in the room was staring at us. I wasn’t pulled from my trance until I figured out where I’d heard this song before. It was the same song that Leighanne had as the ring tone on her cell phone. “What is this song?” I laughed.

Howie smirked and then pulled me even tighter against him. “This is the song we danced to.” He answered, “Just listen.”

I’m really not that much of a music listener but when I do, I tend to listen to country, not pop. But, a slow song is a slow song I suppose and I have to admit it was kind of catchy. I laid my head down on Howie’s shoulder and listened to the lyrics. Really kind of beautiful actually. A love song. But there was something about the lead singers voice that I just couldn’t get out of my head. I pulled my head back up and looked at Howie as I tried to figure it out. “Something wrong?” he asked with a playful smile on his face.

I hesitated but it was driving me nuts. “Call me crazy, but doesn’t that kind of like… Brian? I mean without the accent though?”

Howie kind of giggled but then the singer changed and I recognized AJ’s sexy voice instantly. It had to be him. It just fucking had to! I stopped dancing pulled away from Howie now just listening intently. Theses city boys had me all messed up. They hadn’t just invaded my life and my heart, now they’d invaded my mind too because I swear to god I was hearing their voices. “That’s AJ.” I said, “It has to be.”

Howie laughed this time and I thought I was losing my mind. He pulled me back to him and began to spin me around again. And then he began to sing along with the chorus. I couldn’t believe what I was fucking hearing. He had the voice of an angel. “I’ll never break your heart.” He sang, “I’ll never make you cry. I’d rather die than live without you. I’ll give you all of me honey that’s no lie.”

I can’t even count how many firsts I’ve had this week but you can add romantic dance in the middle of a crowded restaurant while the man of my fucking dreams serenades me, to the top of the list. Who needs fucking fairy tales! God I just wanted the moment to never end. I laid my head back down on his shoulder listening to the beautiful sound of his voice while he sung along with the second verse.

It was a dream. It had to be. It was too fucking amazing to be real. Shit like this doesn’t happen in real life. Not to me. But then the door to the diner opened I heard the harsh sound of my father’s laugh. “Well if it ain’t my favorite whore of a daughter!”

Nope. I was right. Moments like that aren’t real. At least not for me. Nice fucking timing dad! I turned around to see my father and Pete the Pervert staring at me. Hank’s eyes darted to Howie. “Did ya fuck her yet? Hope she didn’t charge ya too much. She ain’t god damned worth it.”

“Nice hair princess.” Pete added licking his fat greasy lips. One of these days I’m gonna kick that man’s ass just for being him.

Poor Howie looked like he was going to be sick. My father’s words didn’t hurt me. I was long since numb to anything that bastard had to say. But Howie, he seemed to feel it with every ounce of his soul and that pissed me off. “Real nice dad, and you wonder why I don’t like you much.”

“You broke my fucking nose bitch.”

“You’re luck I didn’t castrate you for raping mom.”

“Ha! I’d like to see you try it Cinderella. Besides That bitch wanted it.”

I began to lose my patience. “You nearly killed her this time you know.”

Hank’s eyes narrowed and he smiled so fucking satisfied to see me angry that I half expected him to pat himself on the fucking back. “That fucking bitch had it commin’ to her.” He said and fucking cackled and evil laugh. “You should have heard her beggin me. Crying like fucking 6 year old. ‘Help me somebody, help me. Damn it Cinderella where are you!’ Fucking heartbreaking.”

Hank and Pete burst into laughter and I became so full of rage that things kind of turned red and all blurred together as I flew at him. “I’m going to fucking kill you, you bastard!” I screamed as I knocked his ass to the ground.
I jumped on him and just began punching. Pete pulled me off of him and I kicked him in the fucking balls. The ground practically shook as he hit it. He wouldn’t be back in this fight. Not today. I flew at my father again just as he was getting to his knees. I tried to strangle the bastard.

I probably would have killed him. I know I fucking wanted to. But before I could I was being dragged off of him. I was so out of it that it took Howie and two of the cooks to stop me. I fought as hard as I could as they dragged me from the building. I could hear my father screaming but the fucking coward didn’t come after me. “You ever come near me or my momma again I’ll fucking kill you! I swear to god Hank! I’ll fucking kill you!”

I didn’t realized how out of touch I was with reality until I snapped back and I was lying on the ground. Howie had my face in his hands and he was whispering something to me. I couldn’t understand him at first but as I started to calm down the words came into focus. “Cindy! Cindy! Honey calm down! It’s all right. It’s over.”

I looked into his eyes and regained control of myself. I literally shook it off and then got to my feet. Howie looked so worried and I had no idea what to say to him. I looked inside where the cooks were helping Pete and Hank into a booth. Dad was bleeding a little but really I hadn’t done much damage. Pete probably hurt a lot worse, not that the fucking prick doesn’t deserve it. I looked back at Howie who just stared at me speechless. “Let’s just get the fuck out of here.” I said.

I apologized as best I could as we walked back to my car. Then I took him for a drive. I told him a little about my fucked up family history as we went to the one place I’ve always run to ever since I was a girl, Vista Lake. It was a little bit of a drive from Hanley but hell, a drive was sounding good right then. Howie just listened as I talked. I told him my whole life’s story just about. I was sure that after today I didn’t stand a chance with him but he was really sweet to listen anyway.

When we got to the lake we walked out to the dock and hung our feet off the edge. It was nice out but it was a weekday afternoon so we had the lake to ourselves. It was quiet and peaceful and I really needed the fresh air. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Come here a lot?” Howie asked as he watched me look around the familiar setting.

“Ever since I could drive.” I admitted taking another deep breath. “Hal showed me a picture once, of my mom. He used to have quite the crush on her back in high school. She was so pretty. Sunbathing in a bikini right out there.”

I pointed out to the middle of the lake where a wooden platform floated. I sighed. “She was smiling like she didn’t have a care in the world. She looked happy. But that was before my father. I’ve never seen that woman.”

“I’m sorry.” Howie whispered.

“I used to come out here when dad finally started hurting her and I would pretend she was out here and that she was happy again. I always wished that I could be happy like that. I wanted to swim out to that raft and just soak up the sun as if I didn’t have a care in the world. Just to see what it feels like.”

God I couldn’t believe I just said that. I’d never told anyone else that, ever. I could feel Howie staring at me but I couldn’t meet his gaze. I stared at my hands in my lap. Then he stood up. I looked up just in time to see him pull his shirt over his head.

DAMN! OK, I didn’t know what he was doing and there were a million thoughts running through my head at the moment but I think it’s safe to take a quick time out to say DAMN! I mean fuck! He may be a little short but ladies don’t let that fool you. Shit, I didn’t have any idea he looked that good under his clothes. I was distracted to say the least!

I know I was staring with my tongue hanging out like a fucking dog, but Howie didn’t seem to notice. His eyes twinkled and he said, “So let’s do it then.”

Do what? What were we talking about? Like I could think of anything other than the fact that he was taking off his pants. Before I knew it he was standing there in nothing but his boxers. “What are you doing?” I asked and I fucking meant it.

“It’s a beautiful day to get a tan.” He said, “You can swim can’t ya?”

“But?”

“There’s nobody here but us. Lets just swim out there and lay out like we don’t have a care in the world.”

Howie winked at me and then took off running. He jumped feet first into the water. When he surfaced he smiled at me. God he looked good all wet. “You coming or not?” he asked and then headed for the middle of the lake.

I took a deep breath and then shed my clothes. I couldn’t help but smile as I pulled my shirt off and saw the silky red bra. Thank you Leighanne for insisting I need more than one pair of “sexy” underwear.

I couldn’t believe I was doing this but I stripped down to my bra and panties and dove into the water. I mean if you think about it, It’s not much different that a bikini. A little sexier maybe, but that’s not such a bad thing.

The swim out to the platform was longer than I realized and I was out of breath when I got there. Howie pulled me up and I fell on my back. I lied there catching my breath and Howie laid down next to me. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. I closed my eyes and stretched letting the sun beat down on my skin. God it felt so good. “It’s just like I imagined it.” I whispered more to myself than anything.

“And I bet that smile on your face is every bit as pretty as your mommas picture.” Howie whispered back.

I opened my eyes to see Howie propped up on his side staring down at me. He was so fucking perfect. I know he didn’t have any idea what he’d just done for me, to him it was just a spontaneous swim, but for me, it was so much more. It was freedom.

In that moment I fulfilled a dream that I’d always wanted and thought I could never have. Right then I was so happy. If I could do this, why couldn’t I do anything I fucking wanted? Why couldn’t I own my life instead of it owning me? For the second time in my life I felt tears well up in my eyes, but this time it felt different. Happy tears are so much different than sad tears. I was overcome with a whole different kind of emotion yet I was every bit as overwhelmed. I got a grip on it fast though and smiled back at Howie. “Thank you.” was the only thing I could think to say.

I closed my eyes again just wanting to make the moment last as long as I possibly could. I lied there until I felt that same magical soft touch from the fucking hotel elevator. I couldn’t make my eyes open, it felt so fucking good. Goosebumps, all over my skin and fucking chills on the inside. Finally I opened my eyes. Howie was running his index finger up and down my arm like he just wanted to see what I felt like. God I was ready to make love to him right fucking there in the middle of the fucking lake.

I couldn’t help it and my whole body tensed up. He realized I was staring at him and he nervously pulled his hand away from me. I just wanted to scream out, “Oh God, don’t stop!” but somehow I managed to keep quiet.

There was more silence and then Howie smiled at something he was thinking about. I questioned him with a look he said the last thing I expected. “So, Cinderella.”

Normally that was a word that would get you beat no matter who you are but I was so shocked to her him say it that I couldn’t react. “Is that really your name?”

He was smiling but not laughing. I was still in fucking shock and just stared at him like a dumbass. “In the restaurant,” he continued obviously having no idea how delicate a topic this was, “You’re father kept calling you Cinderella.”

“Nobody calls me that except my parents, and I mean nobody.”

I didn’t mean for that to sound like a threat but looking back it may have just been one. I kicked myself the instant I said it and I felt like a total jerk. He didn’t know. How could he? But he didn’t seem to mind. I don’t think it fazed him at all actually. Instead he began running his fingers along my skin again. (yeah, he was forgiven.) “That’s too bad.” He finally replied. “I kinda like it.”

Did he really just say that? He lifted his eyes to mine and smiled. “I’ve never known a Cinderella before. (hmm big fucking shocker there.) “But I’ve also never known anybody like you before.”

Oh God I’m such a sucker! He had me hook line and sinker and he fucking knew it. I looked up at him too nervous to do or say anything and I just watched the smile on his face fade. He slowly began lowering his face closer and closer to mine and his eyes turned from playful to passionate. Holy shit was he about to-

His lips brushed mine for only a brief second making me desperate to kiss him. He was drowning me in my own fucking desire. He scooted himself right up against me and then brushed the back of his soft fucking hand up the side of my face combing my new, wet bangs back. “Cinderella.” He whispered reverently and then threw his lips delicately onto mine.

I could have died right then and gone to fucking hell and I still would have been happy for all eternity. He tasted so sweet the way his lips gently tugged on mine and the way his tongue seemed to pull me closer to him. It was the kiss to end all fucking kisses. The kiss at the fucking end of the book. Fireworks. Passion. Romance. Longing. Desire. All fucking rolled into one soft, gentle kiss.

Love.

Fucking true love’s first kiss! Fuck fairy tales! This was real and right now there was no one to ruin our fucking moment. God! I just wanted to feel his lips on mine forever but eventually he pulled himself back. He sat up and I barely managed to do the same. My breath had been stolen away and my fucking heart along with it. I felt weak all over and I was shaking. Howie saw the shivers and pulled me into his arms. He squeezed me tightly and kissed the side of my head. I just let him hold me.

I have to say it. After all that the only word I could think of to describe that moment in my life was fucking amazing! AMAZING! Then he opened his mouth to say something again but hesitated like he was piecing together his thoughts. Finally he asked, “Did you mean what you said earlier today? About leaving?”

The question kind of threw me for a loop. It seemed so out of the blue. But I knew the answer. “Yeah, I did.” I said.

“Do you know where you’re gonna go?”

Oh god, how the hell would I know that? I had nowhere to go. Everything I knew was this town. I released a long sigh and then said, “I don’t know, I don’t really care as long as it’s far away from here.”

“What about Florida?”

I turned so that I could see into his eyes. I thought he was joking but he was one hundred percent serious. “Florida?” I asked. “What’s in fucking Florida?”

Howie shrugged. “Me.”

Was he saying what I think he was saying? “It’s really nice there.” He said, “You might have to get used to city boys, but I have a place there. It’s kind of all right. Has a guest room… or two. You know… if you needed a place to stay.”

I couldn’t believe it. Was this really happening? To fucking ME? I didn’t know what to say. Howie smirked, “I should warn you though, that would mean living in the same state as Nick, but we could lock him out if we had to.”

Holy fucking shit! He was being fucking serious! I sat there and stared at him for so long that he eventually got tired of waiting for me and pulled me in for another kiss.

I’d like to say that this was where the story ends, but I’m sure you know that, that simply isn’t the case. There is so much more to this epic tale of tales, but had I known just how much I would have put the two of us on a fucking plane right then instead of waiting around to go to some fucking ball. But fate, as it seemed, was about to take its coarse.

Chapter 13:Fate

Howie didn’t actually make love to me in the middle of the lake that day, although that would have been fucking awesome. No, he was the perfect gentleman. We laid there for quite some time before swimming back to the real world, but it didn’t matter. For me the “real world” wasn’t going to be the “real world” any more.

Howie was really sweet. As I drove him back to town he asked if I wanted to go have dinner with him in Lexington. After all those hours at the lake, he still wanted to spend time with me. As much as I wanted to say yes, I couldn’t. I had to work and I couldn’t miss it. I was already down to only one job and if I wanted to get out of town I was going to need some money to do it. It almost hurt to have to drop him off. “So, if you live in Florida, what are you doing in Kentucky?” I asked as we drove toward Brian’s house.

“Actually Nick AJ and I all just came for the Charity dinner but decided to come a week early to help Brian and Leigh move.” He said and then chuckled, “But I don’t think we’ve actually been any help.” After that, his smirk faded. “We’re all flying back on Thursday.”

I nodded but couldn’t help the frown on my face. In a couple of days he would go back home and be gone from my life forever. “That doesn’t have to mean goodbye.” He said when he saw my pout.

I forced a smile but I was so confused. I didn’t respond but I couldn’t help the nervous side-glances I kept throwing his direction. As we pulled up Brian’s drive Howie began to stare at me. I was nervous so I focused my attention on the beautiful old house in front of me. “It’s gorgeous isn’t it?” I said with a nervous laugh.

Howie didn’t respond to the obvious small talk but he did continue to fucking stare at me. I looked over at him nervously and there was a hint of sadness behind his sweet smile. “I know what your thinking.” He said. “I know I sound a little crazy but I meant what I said about taking you back with me. But if you want you could just come check it out for a week or something and see if it’s a possibility.”

Yup, he did know what I was thinking. I was so nervous I could fucking puke. A fucking stranger had asked me to come to Florida with him. And more than anything I wanted to go, but I was trying to be realistic. Was that really a possibility? Did I really know him well enough to do something like that? He’s charming for sure and I get fucking weak at his touch, but mom once thought the same thing about dad and look where that got her. I sat searching for the right words and Howie took one of my hands in his. “I’m nervous too,” he said, “But this…” He leaned over the console pressing his lips to mine.

His manner was soft at first and when I gave in to his touch he rested his hand on the side of my face and pulled me closer to deepen the kiss. I’ve kissed a number of guys in my days but never has one of them been able to stop time the way Howie did when he touched me. Who knows how long he actually held the kiss but it felt like forever and yet not long enough at the same time. When he finally released my lips he stared intensely into my eyes. I was breathing heavily and shaking all over. “I know you feel that.” He whispered, “That’s something worth exploring.”

He’s goddamned right I felt that! How could I fucking not? The fucking bastard is good! “I’ve never been in love before,” he continued, “So I don’t how it’s supposed to feel, but I’d bet it starts out a lot like this.”

He had to have heard that line in a movie somewhere. People don’t fucking talk like that for real. Do they? Aw hell, line or not, I didn’t care. Howie waited for me to respond but I just didn’t know what to say. My head was a fucking mess. I had so much hitting me all at once. My father, Howie, Danny, and my own fucking hormones… I needed some time to get a grip on it all. “I need a fucking drink!” I replied.

From the look on his face, I’m not sure Howie liked that response all that much. Fuck! A man like him’s probably used to getting everything he wants. Part of me wanted to tell him to toughen up a little and call him crazy. How could he be talking about love? Sure, the thought had crossed my mind once or twice, but I wasn’t about to say it out loud. I only fucking met the guy a few days ago. But I didn’t tell him he was crazy, in fact I had quite the soft spot for his overly dramatic speech.

I finally smiled at the poor man who had just thrown his heart out on his fucking sleeve for me, “Howie.” I began, “You’re this rich, handsome, stranger who treats me better than anyone ever has and every time you touch me I just want to fucking die, but you’re too fucking perfect. It’s like you really are the prince fucking charming that this Cinderella’s been dreaming about her entire life. It’s all just a little too overwhelming.”

“Sometimes dreams come true.”

“Not for me they don’t.”

Howie sighed and slumped back in his seat. The man had to understand my hesitation, at least a little. I’m not totally crazy, right? I mean I wasn’t exactly saying no, I just couldn’t help but think that this was all too fucking good to be true. “Someone once told me not to let fear get in the way of my dreams.” Howie said and then gripped the handle of the door. “So you take some time and think about it and tomorrow night this prince charming will be at the ball waiting for Cinderella to show up and make all his dreams come true.”

He leaned over and kissed me again. Not fucking fair! How the hell was I supposed to think clearly when he kept doing that? He pulled away and opened the door finally ready to get out of the car. “Goodnight Cindy.” He whispered. He flashed me one last intoxicating smile and then made his way to the front door.

“Fuck me.” I sighed as I watched him disappear inside the house. Leighanne waved enthusiastically at me from the door and gave me a thumbs up when Howie was out of sight. I laughed to myself and then waved back as I pulled out of the drive.

When I got to the bar that night, I was glad to see it was slow. Normally I fucking hate slow nights but tonight I really needed the peace. I kept replaying the day’s events over and over in my head. There was really a lot to think about, today had been fucking eventful, but the part that seemed to stick out the most was the lake. Not just the fact that Howie kissed me, but everything, everything that it represented. I must have been pretty deep in thought because I didn’t hear Hal calling my name until he was fucking snapping his fingers in front of my face. “What’s on your mind kiddo?” he chuckled.

Hal was surprised with my answer. “You still have that picture of my mom? The one at the lake.”

“My god Cindy! What on Earth made you think of that?”

“Do you?”

Hal gave me a peculiar look but then disappeared into the back. Moments later he returned with a worn copy of an old photograph. He handed it to me and my eyes glistened at the sight. It’d been so long since I’d seen it that I’d almost forgotten what it looked like. I studied the picture closely and couldn’t believe the resemblance between us. “You look just like her you know.” Hal said taking a trip down memory lane.

I looked at the smile on my mom’s face. That was exactly the way I remembered it. Hal sighed. “Your momma used to be so lively; always the hit of the party. God she was beautiful.”

I found myself trying to imagine the girl in the photograph exciting and full of life. She really was beautiful. I’m sure she had her pick of all the guys. I thought about the woman who was no doubt at home in some self induced coma. She was so pathetic now. She was angry and bitter. Her spirit was fucking dead. “I can’t understand how a person can change so much.” I said feeling more sorry for her than angry.

“Life’s not always fair. I hated watching your father slowly strip her of her soul until he’d finally broken her all together. I knew what he was doing. I used to try and convince her to get out, but she’d never listen.”

“God she was so stupid! How could she do that to herself?”

Hal looked at me just then in a way I can’t describe but I’ll never forget and I knew I was about to get a serious slap in the face. “You tell me Cindy.” He said making my eyes grow wide from shock. “You’re headed down that same path.”

I don’t know if I was in denial or just fucking shock. How could he say that? How? If there was one thing I’ve said my entire life, it’s that no matter what, I was not going to end up like my fucking mother. My father was not going to destroy me. I wasn’t going to let the bastard win. Hell, knowing that was the only thing that kept me going all these years. I shook my head slowly back and forth and I was fucking speechless. “It’s the truth Cindy, I swear to God.”

“No.” I whispered.

“I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you need to get out, I’ve had that conversation with your momma too many times and you are every bit as stubborn as she was. But God Cin, I know you’ve noticed it lately. Why do you think you’ve been acting so crazy. You’re fighting it. You’ve always been a fighter but if you don’t do something this town in gonna get ya the same way it got your momma.”

“Well you don’t have to worry about me. There’s no fucking way I’m gonna let that happen. I’m leaving.”

“You’re what?” Hal said, sure he’d heard wrong.

“I’m sick of all the bullshit and I’m getting the fuck out of Hanley.”

I expected Hal to be surprised or not believe me or something. I woulda guessed he might try and persuade me to stay before saying what he said. “Good for you Cin.” He said as a proud grin slid across his face. “I hope to God you’re serious.”

“I have to.” I said with my emotions finally getting the better of me. Tears began to prick my eyes. I immediately felt like a complete idiot for fucking crying again and as I wiped away the evidence Hal fucking told me how proud of me he was. “You haven’t been acting crazy lately, you just been growin up. Whatever it is that’s inspired this change, honey you make sure to hang on to it.”

I blushed at his last statement thinking that I knew exactly what had inspired me. Hal read it on my face and smiled. “Love’s a powerful thing.” He said, “If you found it, you have to grab it by the balls and not let it get away, cause there ain’t nothing worse than knowing you could have had it.”

Hal looked at the picture of my mom again and the color seemed to leave his eyes. I’d never seen this side of him before, but I’ll be damned if that man wasn’t completely in love with my fucking mother. “I’ll be damned, Hal! I never knew.”

Hal sighed. “I should have fought for her. Sure I kicked Hank’s ass once but after that I gave up and I’ve spent the rest of my life regretting it. Now I’m gonna die some lonely old fuck in a bar someday. And there ain’t gonna be a goddamned soul at my funeral that gives a shit.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The fucking John Wayne wannabe was talking about love and life’s regrets. “God Hal.”

“This town gets ya Cin. Get the fuck out while you still can.”

I’ve never really been much of a dreamer but that night my brain skipped from one dream to the next. All night long visions of Howie clouded my thoughts. I dreamed I went with Leighanne and Brian to the ball and when we got there everyone looked like they were from another time. Howie sat upon a big throne with a huge crown on his head. When I entered the room a spotlight hit me and Howie got up. The crowd parted to let him threw and when he took my hand all the sudden he was twirling me around the fucking clouds. All the people were gone and it was just us floating up to the sky. Then we were at the lake again and I was in a wedding dress if you can fucking believe that. Howie and I were on the raft in the middle of the lake and all of our friends and family were sitting in rowboats. A preacher announced us man and wife and when Howie went to kiss the bride I heard the angry voice of my mother calling out from the crowd.

That’s when I woke up. I was so fucking surprised that I was dreaming about my fucking wedding. I’ve never done that before. What did it mean? I mean it wasn’t a nightmare or anything. It was actually kind of a sweet dream. It even kind of put me in a good mood. The only thing that didn’t seem to make sense was the angry voice of my mother. Well, it didn’t make sense until two seconds later when her bitter raspy voice called for me again. “Cinderella!” she hollered, “There’s somebody at the fucking door!”

There were only two people who could have possibly been at my door at 8:30 in the fucking morning. There are only three people in the world who ever come to my house to begin with and dad sure as hell wouldn’t bother to knock anymore than he would be awake this early. So, Danny and John had come to hall my ass in when I didn’t show up this morning. Well I wasn’t fucking kidding about never wanting to see Danny again or quitting and I was ready to tell them that.

I opened the door having pushed the thoughts of my dream to the back of my mind and my anger was beginning to rise to the surface. I was about to yell when I realized who was standing there. “Leighanne!” I gasped, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Leighanne looked nervous for only a second but then she smiled. “We have a busy day today so I thought I’d bring you a wake up call.”

How can anyone be so fucking happy that they need to be giggling first thing in the morning? I don’t know, but that’s what she did as she held up coffee and what looked like fucking bran muffins. “Can I come in?” she asked when I just stood in the doorway staring at her crazy ass.

I stepped aside and she waltzed right into my own little personal piece of hell. She was brave. “How’d you know where I live?”
“Small town.” She giggled as she set the cups on the counter. “I hope you like bran, because all they had were these and some scones and I don’t know about you but if I eat one of those I won’t be able to fit into my dress tonight.”

“What the fuck is this Cinderella?”

Oh God! My mother. I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next. My mom could eat a woman like Leighanne alive in a matter of seconds. I gotta give Leigh credit though, I told her all about my mother and she marched right up the bitch and fucking hugged her. I cringed as I waited for the explosion but none came. Apparently momma’s still able to be surprised. I smirked when I saw how fucking stunned she was. “You must be Clair!” Leighanne said in that petite giddy voice of hers. “Cindy’s told me so much about you. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”

Here it comes. Leighanne stepped back flashing her perfect smile at mom and she looked at me. “Is she crazy or something?” momma asked referring to Leigh, “Are you running some psycho ex-cheerleader outreach program?”

I figured momma’s insults hadn’t hurt Leigh’s feelings, at least not yet anyway, but I never expected her to laugh. “How’d you know I used to be a cheerleader?” she said.

Momma looked at me, and fuck it all, there was a smile on her face. It may have been a sarcastic smirk, but still, a fucking smile none the less. “Shit Cinderella, where the hell’d you find Barbie and what the fuck is she doing with your sorry ass. You ain’t a fucking lesbian are ya?”

I didn’t know what to say. How the hell was I supposed to explain Leighanne to momma? I just stood there like a fucking dumbass and watched the scene play out in front of me feeling powerless to stop it. Whatever happened now was up to fate and fate alone. “We’re having breakfast.” Leighanne answered cheerfully and handed momma a cup of coffee. “I brought some for you too.”

Momma looked at the paper cup in her hand and laughed. “Fucking city folk and their coffee.” She smirked and then held the cup out to Leighanne, “Shit woman I need something with a little more kick in it to wake me up.”

Leighanne giggled and from where I was standing it seemed as if she were enjoying herself. Leighanne reached into her purse with a wicked grin. “I can fix that.” She giggled as she retrieved a silver flask. Momma’s face perked up as Leighanne poured alcohol into momma’s coffee.

“Now you’re speaking my language honey.” Momma said and then fucking laughed. “That shit ain’t bad.” She said tasting the coffee.

“A close friend of mine used to love that recipe.” Leighanne said and then she and Momma fucking laughed together.

For the next fucking half an hour I watch Leighanne chat with my mom over fucking bran muffins and spiked coffee. I was beyond trying to find logic in the situation. We had long since stepped out of the realm of possibility and into the fucking Twilight Zone. They were exchanging stories and fucking laughing hysterically. I hardly said two words the whole time. I even started to believe that I hadn’t wakened from my dream, but rather stepped into a new one. But what the fuck did this one mean? Marrying Howie is one thing but Momma laughing and smiling? What the hell was that? Finally Leighanne ordered me to go get dressed. She said I had to have my dress fitted incase it needed altering or something. I was hesitant to leave her alone with momma but she seemed to be a lot better off with her than I was. “Fuck it.” I said and went to enjoy a hot relaxing shower.

Momma was actually in a fucking decent mood when we left. She still didn’t believe Leighanne that I was going to get all dressed up and go to a fucking ball. Even though she told Leighanne it would be impossible to transform me into a fucking princess she still wished her luck and told her to find me a fucking decent man so that I would get out of the fucking house already. And I can’t be sure because I was still in shock and she was still drunk, but she might have said something about wanting fucking grandbabies.

As if that morning wasn’t crazy enough already, as Leighanne and I stepped out onto the front steps of my trailer, Hal pulled up in his truck. “What the fuck is going on around here?” I said feeling almost faint.

Hal introduced himself to Leighanne and then smiled at me. He held up a fucking bouquet of flowers and with a wink said, “You’ve inspired me kiddo.”

My jaw fucking dropped to the ground and I had to sit the fuck down. Leighanne and Hal helped me into the fucking passenger seat of Leigh’s car before I fucking passed out. Hal and Leighanne chatted for a minute and then he waved us on our merry fucking way. As we pulled away and Hal stepped into my house I took a deep breath, it seemed fucking fate was taking its course.

Chapter 14: Mommy Dearest

So, here we are, the part of the story I know you’ve all been dying to hear about since the moment I first mentioned it, the day of the fucking ball. I gotta tell ya, after the crazy morning I had, I was beginning to believe in my own fairy tale. Maybe Cinderella was more than just my fucking name after all. I mean come on, after 28 years Hal had to pick today of all days to show up? Seriously! What the hell?

It seemed as if things were perfect and noting was going to spoil my mood. First Leigh and I went to a salon and had our hair done up. They pulled my hair back in some sort of twisty thingy and then they spent like an hour curling all the ends that hung from the top into springy little ringlets. They sprayed my bangs up into this little poof on the top of my head and placed a small tiara over it where a regular girl might wear a headband. “A crown?” I asked sarcastically when Leighanne adjusted it to where she thought looked best.

Leighanne responded with the usual giggle and then said, “I figured since you never got to wear one at your prom.” I rolled my eyes at her but she winked, “You know you would have won if you’d have gone.”

I attempted a dirty look at her reflection in the mirror but simply couldn’t hold it. I looked at the jewelry now pinned to my head and cracked a smile. “You’re god damned right I would have.” I replied sending us both into a laughing frenzy.

Next on the list was a gown. Leighanne took me to some store I still can’t pronounce and they “fitted” me for a dress. Now that was a process, God! The shopping we did the time before, at the mall? I’ll admit that was fun, but this? I’m not so sure I could get used to it. People standing all around me pulling and tucking and pinching and poking… I never knew sales ladies were so aggressive. One woman even adjusted my fucking boobs for me. Just reached up and gave ‘em a nice little push. Shit, I ain’t been felt up like that in my whole life. Anyway, despite the somewhat unpleasant process, the end result blew my mind.

Never in my entire life could I have imagined a dress could do all that. I stared at myself in the mirror and I’ll be damned if I didn’t look fucking gorgeous. The dress was shiny cream-colored material that had a dangerously low cut v-neck and gathered in this classy looking knot just below my boobs. Then there was a strand of diamond looking gems that flowed from the knot down around my waist as if they were a belt and from there, the gown dropped gracefully to the floor. It had no sleeves or back just thick straps that were covered with the same stones that rested around my waist.

It was actually quite sparkly and yet still looked very soft if that makes any sense. I stared at the masterpiece in total awe and felt like a million bucks. God only knows how much I was actually worth at that point. Leighanne stood behind me staring over my shoulder, even she was speechless. “How do you feel?” she finally asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Like a fucking princess.” I breathed.

Leighanne just smiled proudly and then suggested we head back to her house to get Brian. She only said Brian but I was dying to know if his friends were going to be waiting there as well. I didn’t have to ask though because right after that she told me that the other guys were going to meet us there. I was a little disappointed but at the same time a little relieved. I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous about this whole thing and I didn’t need that bastard of a blonde making things that much worse.

Before we reached the house we stopped at the market to pick up some dinner for Baylee. Leighanne said she always felt bad making a sitter cook. Just a quick stop was all, but on our way out we had to run into that ass hole Pete. “Holy shit Princess.” He laughed as his breathing began to get heavy.

I watched his creepy stare drift to Leighanne and my heart began to race. That poor woman didn’t deserve to be subjected to his particular brand of torture. “Who’s this pretty little thing?” he said reaching his hand out toward her.

I quickly stepped protectively in front of Leighanne. I wasn’t about to let that pervert anywhere near her. “Lay one finger on her and you won’t be able to get up this time.”

Pete laughed but I could tell my threat angered him. He took a step back and his eyes narrowed. I tried to walk around him dragging Leighanne close behind me but Pete stepped in front of me. “You’re daddy was right.” He said, “You and that drunk bitch mamma of yours got it commin.”

“Is that so?”

“One of these days we’re gonna come for ya only I ain’t gonna be so nice as Hank. Oh no darlin’ you and I are gonna have some fun before I kill ya.”

Normally I wouldn’t take so kindly to such talk but I felt Leighane’s grip tighten on my hand and decided to control my temper. She looked scared and I knew Pete was enjoying it. Again I took her by the hand and safely led her away from Pete. “Ignore him Leigh, that bastard’s all talk.” I said.

“We’ll just see about that.” Pete laughed as we walked away. “You ladies have fun at your party tonight. Sure hope you tell your momma goodbye before you go.”

It took all the strength I had not to say anything. Once we were safely in the car Leighanne took what must have been her first breath in five minutes. She turned the keys in the ignition but sat there a minute letting her shaking hands rest on the wheel. She was real shook up and I felt like shit for dragging her into this mess. I just wanted to reassure her over and over again that he was just pissed off and full of shit, but there was something in his voice that made me nervous. I couldn’t believe the bastard got to me, but he did. I was scared. “Do you mind if we stop back at my house one more time before we go?” I asked.

Leighanne had already regained her composure and forced a smile when she nodded. We made the short drive back to my house and I practically ran inside half expecting to find my mother dead. I let out a sigh when I found her resting peacefully on the couch. I laughed at myself for giving in to that fucking pervert’s ranting. Still, I couldn’t shake the ugly feeling in my heart and I decided to wake her up. “Hey momma?” I whispered.

“Who the fuck’s there?” she grumbled as she sat up.

She was about to curse up a storm until her eyes fell upon me. Her mouth dropped open and she just stared at me. We stood there in silence and Leighanne slowly stepped through the door behind me. Mom glanced at her and then her eyes fixed themselves back on me. I watched amazed as my mother’s eyes filled with tears. “Mom?”

“My God Cinderella!” she finally gasped, “I always knew you were meant to be a princess.”

Now it was my turn to be speechless. It was the nicest thing she’d ever said to me. Not once in my life had she ever complimented me on anything. In fact she’d always been my harshest critic. I never knew till that moment how much a few kind words could mean. Tears stung my eyes as I broke into a smile.

It was nice but at the same time it was quite the awkward moment between us. After all these years we didn’t know how to be kind to one another, we barley knew how to be civil. I did the only thing I knew how to do and changed to a subject I knew would kill the moment. “Dad hasn’t been by today has he?”

“What the hell made you think of that fucker?” mom said instantly reverting back to the woman I know so well.

“Oh it’s nothing. Just something Pete said.”

“That fucking pervert’s still hanging around with your father?”

Glad to see I’m not the only one to think so highly of that man. I had to smirk. I looked at my mom and couldn’t help but think how helpless she seemed at times. The thought of her all alone here while my father and Pete the Pervert did God know what to her was unsettling. “Maybe I should stay home tonight.” I sighed.

“I would understand.” Leighanne whispered.

Mom looked at the two of us and then frowned. “Don’t be such an ass Cinderella. Of coarse you’re going tonight. I won’t have you miss your big night because of your father. That man’s done enough damage.”

“Gee mom, I didn’t realize you cared.”

That came out really harsh and bitter sounding. I felt bad the minute I said it. I didn’t mean to say, I guess I was still having a hard time seeing my mom act like a decent human being. “Sorry.” I offered but didn’t think it would do any good.

“No, you’re right.” Mom said making my jaw once again hit the floor. “I’m a fucking shitty mom, but damnit Cinderella, I never wanted this for you. I never wanted this for me either. I’m trapped, but you! You found a fucking way out, you’ve gotta take it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Leighanne told me about that boy. She said he’s crazy about you.”

I glanced back at Leighanne and she blushed but shrugged with a guilty smile. “If he’s really as sweet as she says he is then god damnit, go for it. Don’t let me hold you back.”

I won’t take the time again to tell you how shocked I was. I’m sure you get it by now but my mom was pleading with me now. She walked right up to me and took hold of my hand and smiled. “You go to that ball tonight and you get your prince.” She said.

I never thought I’d see the day but it was a real mother daughter moment. I hugged her tightly and when I felt her arms around me it was like we were back at the lake together, a million miles form all this shit and I started to fucking cry again. “Ok mom.” I said and my voice shook as I struggled with my emotions.

Forget awkward moments, I just couldn’t let go of my mom. Finally when I pulled away she smiled and said four words I’ve wanted to hear my whole life but had long since given up hope. “I love you Cinderella.” She said fighting back the tears as much as I was. “You go. Have fun. And don’t you worry about me.”

Her words brought me back to the present and I remembered the reason for coming home in the first place. “Why don’t you go hang out at the bar or something tonight? I’m sure Hal wouldn’t mind. I’d feel a lot better if you weren’t alone.”

Mom waved me off with a laugh. “Don’t be silly.” She said, “I’m not going to run from him. He’s not going to force me from my own home.”

There was a tone in my mother’s voice that I knew all too well and I knew there would be no convincing her otherwise. “Here.” Leighanne interrupted. She fumbled through a pile of junk on the counter and found a pen. She scribbled a number on a piece of paper and stuck it on the fridge. “That’s my cell phone number. I’ll have it with me tonight so if you need anything at all, just call, no matter what time, ok?”

Mom nodded and I guessed that was better than nothing. If he comes here tonight you call me. Don’t hesitate. And no matter what, don’t let him in. Keep this door locked.”

Mom smiled at me calming my nerves a little. “Cinderella, just go.” She hugged me again and then Leighanne hugger her as well. “You girls have a great time.” She said and then shooed us out the door.

“And you said your mom was mean.” Leighanne teased as we drove to her house.

I threw my hands in the air as a complete loss for words and she laughed. “Maybe it’s a sign.” She giggled, “Maybe tonight is going to be the best night of your life.”

“God Leighanne, at this point, I’d fucking believe it.”

Leighanne’s face lit up. “Good.” was all she said in reply.

A few minutes later we were walking through the front door of Leighanne’s dream like home. I laughed when I heard Brian’s voice call from upstairs. “Leigh, honey? Cindy? Is that you guys?”

“Are you ready to go?” she answered back. “You can’t be late to your own function.”

Brian appeared at the top of the stairs still struggling with his tie. He stopped when he saw his wife. They’d been married for over six years and the man still looked at her as if he’d never seen anything so beautiful in all his life. Leighanne walked up the stairs laughing at her husband and began to fix his tie. “After all these years you still can’t do this on your own.”

“Maybe I just like having you do it for me.” Brian teased.

“Maybe you’re just a big baby.”

“Maybe.” Brian replied pulling his wife into his arms. “And maybe you’re just so beautiful I can’t help it.”

I watched Brian kiss his wife and realized that what they had wasn’t gross or stupid. It may have still been a little cheesy but it wasn’t making me sick. I actually found myself wishing I had that with someone. I closed my eyes and saw Howie leaning over me again, whispering my name softly and then I could practically feel his lips on mine.

I shook off my daydream as Brian and Leighanne made their way back down the stairs. Brian smiled and then threw his arms around me. He kissed my cheek and then took another second to look me over. “Absolutely stunning.” He said.

I blushed and I knew that would not be the last time I did that this evening. “I’m glad you came.” He added and then ran off to give last minute instructions to the babysitter.

Leighanne and Brian said goodbye to their son just as the doorbell rang. “Perfect timing.” Brian said.

Leighanne smiled at me and said, “That’s the car. You ready?”

I had so many butterflies in my stomach. “The car?” I asked.

Leighanne opened the door and there was a huge limo waiting outside. Shit, I’d only ever seen one of those damn things in the movies but it looked even bigger sitting there in front of me. The driver opened the door and helped us into the car. Brian and Leighanne sat across from me watching me gaze at all the different buttons and things. A fucking TV and a mini bar? They both snickered but I couldn’t help it. “Shit you guys. This things fucking enormous.”

Brian grinned. “I tried to find a pumpkin big enough but it seems I’ve misplaced my magic wand.” He laughed.

“I’m gonna have to hear those stupid wisecracks all night aren’t I?”

“Hey, it’s not every day we get to be fairy godparents.” Leighanne laughed.

“Look at the bright side,” Brian added, “We’re not giving you a twelve o’clock curfew. You can stay out as long as you’d like tonight.”

“All night even.” Leighanne said with a wicked grin. “If you wanted to, I don’t know go out with a certain someone after.”

I couldn’t believe she said that. I felt my cheeks flush again and Brian giggled along with his wife. “Howie’s a really good guy. I’m really excited for you guys.”

Forget red, I must have turned a deep fucking purple. If they kept this up tonight was going to be a long night.

Chapter 15: The Ball

I enjoyed the 25 minute drive to Lexington more than I thought I would. The anticipation was fucking killing me, but Brian and Leighanne were so relaxed it was hard not to follow their lead. They must have done this kind of thing often because they were so calm and natural about it all. They were in their element and I was anywhere but.

We soon pulled up to the place where the event was being held and stepped out of the limo into a small crowd of photographers and reporters who’d come to cover the event. I stood back by the car while Brian and Leighanne posed for a few pictures and shook a couple of hands. I was really glad that no one seemed particularly interested in me. I looked around noticing for the first time the luxury that surrounded me. I couldn’t stop myself from doing a double take when I realized this was the same four-star hotel I’d left in such a hurry the morning after my birthday. My face paled at the memory and Brian noticed almost instantly. He excused himself from his wife’s side and quickly found his way back to me. “Everything all right?” he asked placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

I managed a weak smile hoping to put a stop to the concern in his eyes. “I’m fine.” I lied but he saw right through me.

“Don’t be nervous.” He chuckled. “Leighanne and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you.”

He held out his arm and with a slight tug began to drag me past the media. The moment I was in reach Leighanne linked her arm through mine. “Afraid of a couple cameras?” She giggled.

I rolled my eyes but I was so nervous I was shaking. “God Honey.” Leighanne gasped when she felt the vibrations in my arm.

“Shit Leighanne!” I muttered under my breath. “I can’t do this. I can’t go in there.”

“It’s just dinner.” Leighanne said with a sympathetic look. “It’ll be fun. I’ll be here the whole time and the other guys will help make you feel comfortable, you’ll see. I’m sure Howie is already inside waiting to steal you away from me.”

I let out a single laugh trying to force my mind to relax. “That’s what makes me so nervous.” I admitted.

Leighanne was going to say something but as we stepped through a big set of doors into the grand banquet hall her eyes caught sight of her friend. She smiled and it took me a moment to figure out what she was grinning at. I followed the trail her eyes made and met Howie from across the room. Leighanne was smiling at him, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t even realize she was there. He was practically burning a hole through me with his stare. I blushed fiercely and looked down at me shoes.

I was wearing strappy looking shoes that had only a tiny hint of a heel. The sales lady in the store tried to put me in these shoes that gave me like four inches of extra height and Leighanne insisted on something shorter. I didn’t understand why she cared so much until I lifted my eyes again and found Howie standing right in front of me. I smirked as I stood nearly eye level with him. Another three inches and I would have towered over him. Leighanne just had a gift.

I thought it was interesting that as I stood there looking into Howie’s eyes my thoughts were on Leighanne. Some weird sort of denial I guess. I was so nervous that I simply couldn’t let myself think about what was going on around me. If I thought about it too much I was sure I would throw up. It was like I was in a fucking trance and I wasn’t shaken from it until I felt someone poking me in the back. Leighanne was conveniently taking her leave from us and nudged me into the waiting hands of Howie.

I don’t remember him saying anything but he was giving me the strangest look. “You ok?” he finally asked or at least I think that’s what he said.

“Hmm?” I asked still trying to catch up with the moment.

Howie smirked and instead of repeating himself slid his hand around my waist and led me out to the dance floor. I don’t know how he does it, but he gets me so nervous that I can hardly breathe and yet when he touches me my whole body instantly relaxes. Howie felt the muscles in my body loosen up and he took that as a sign to pull me even closer to him. God he smelled good! I’m not used to guys smelling good. Normally the men I’m around tend to smell like engine grease and Bud Light. Pretty damn pathetic huh?

Anyway, before I realized it I was burying my face in his neck in order to take in his scent and when I did it sent shivers down my spine. Howie chuckled again but still said nothing. I think he knew the effect he had on me. The bastard. I think he knew exactly what he was doing to me and I’m pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. I started to pull myself back up but he slid his hand up my back and pushed my head back against his shoulder. It was a fucking cocky move. Normally I’m not one to do what I’m told and yet I didn’t resist. I laid my head back on his shoulder and he rested his against mine.

I wondered when, if ever, he was going to speak yet I felt strangely content just letting him hold me. Why the hell was I ever so opposed to dancing? All it is is fucking foreplay in public. Seriously I could have stayed there all night. He held me through three songs without saying a word and then the band, or orchestra, or what ever the hell it was announced they were going to take a ten minute break. It seemed as if we were going to have to stop. Howie glanced around the room and instead of leading me to a table where Leighanne was talking to AJ, he pulled me in the opposite direction toward the exit sign.

We left the party and walked through the hotel lobby past a few other well dressed people and into a courtyard that had so many plants and flowers that I felt like I was on some fucking tropical island or something. We walked through the courtyard toward a fountain that was centered right in the middle. The lighting was dim and you could still see the stars lingering above our heads. Howie pulled a blossom from a bush as he walked past it and handed me the flower. Part of me wanted to laugh at how cliché it seemed but I still treasured the moment. How could something be cliché if I’d never experienced it before? Instead of laughing my face beamed as I proudly accepted the gift. I brought the flower to my nose wondering if it smelled as good as Howie. It didn’t but I treasured it anyway. God I’m lame.

When we reached the water I sat down on the edge of the fountain and looked up at the sky knowing that I wanted to remember everything about this moment. I was the first to break the silence with a happy sigh. “It’s like something out of a dream.” I said in a barely audible whisper.

“Or a fairytale.” Howie replied with a smirk.

I didn’t know how to respond to that but my lips curved slightly upward no matter how much I fought it. Howie’s eyes were as dark as the night but they still sparkled as he sat down next to me. They were fucking enchanting and I was quickly being sucked into them. I couldn’t pull myself away and before I knew it I was falling. Not physically. Physically I was still sitting on that ledge but Howie’s lips had found their way to mine and as he pulled me into his arms I felt as if I were no longer on solid ground. My heart was his as long as it continued to beat.

Eventually we had to come up for air and when we did Howie smiled at me. He couldn’t seem to say whatever was on his mind, and I know there was something. “I’m glad you came tonight.” He finally said.

“Me too.” I decided as I uttered the words.

“I was worried you wouldn’t show.” Howie said that as if there were a specific reason behind his feelings and I gave him a questioning look. He laughed at something and shook his head.

“What?” I asked out loud this time.

“I had trouble sleeping last night.” Howie said with a shrug. “I kept having this dream that we were dancing and when the clock struck twelve you disappeared.”

I giggled. Not laughed, I fucking giggled. It was so silly that something like that made him upset but even as he told me about it there was a sense of urgency in his voice. It was like he was afraid that come midnight I was really going to go poof. Don’t get me wrong though, I was fucking flattered. I smiled at him and then, as if I were the one with the magical soft touch, I ran my hand down the side of his face and he seemed to melt right into it. “I’m not going anywhere.” I said as I gently brought his face back to mine.

He let me kiss him for a moment put then pulled away from me. “Just in case.” He said reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket. “I got this for you.”

No man had ever given me jewelry before but that didn’t mean I didn’t recognize the long velvet box he was now holding in front of me. My eyes grew wide and I was scared of what I might find if I opened it. “What did you do?” I said trying not to gasp.

Howie laughed. “Relax.” He teased, “It’s not a wedding ring or anything. It’s just something I found and thought of you.”

All I could do was stare at it. I was in fucking shock. I mean I know the guy could afford whatever it was, but I couldn’t help but feel I didn’t deserve it. When I didn’t take it from him, Howie placed the box in my hands. “Just open it.” He urged.

I looked up at him and he was filled with excitement. What else could I do? I had to accept it. I held my breath as I popped open the lid and I didn’t believe what was staring me in the fucking face. I gasped at how beautiful it was. “Oh my God Howie!” I breathed.

I ran my fingers along the sleek silver chain and stopped them when they got to the heart shaped locket. “Open it.” Howie whispered.

I pulled open the locket and it began to play music. Not just any music though it played a song that until yesterday was foreign to me but was now burned into my mind forever. “Is that?”

“Our song.” Howie said beaming with pride.

“But how did you?”

“I know this little shop that makes them. They can program any song you want.”

“Here in Lexington? I’ve never seen a shop like that.”

“It’s in New York.”

“New York?”

Howie shrugged with a guilty smile. “So I pulled a few strings.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I looked down at what was instantly the most valuable possession I’ve ever had and noticed that there was an engraving. “And they lived happily ever after.” I whispered reading the inscription.
Howie watched me carefully, waiting for me to say something but I was fucking speechless. Tears pricked my eyes and I was sure the make-up was going to start running down my face. “Thank you.” I finally whispered in a shaky voice.

Howie smiled and then pulled the locket from the case. He leaned in close as he clasped it around my neck and then decided, since he was there I guess, that he’d find out what I tasted like. First my neck and then my shoulder. It was torture. Heavenly fucking torture! “It’s ok to disappear before midnight if I take you with me right?” I said through my now labored breathing. God I was so fucking turned on.

“Sorry.” Howie replied as he nibbled on my ear. “Brian’s sort of got me on the program tonight.

“Then would you kindly stop doing that before I have to fucking hijack you?”

Howie laughed but then threw his hands up in defeat as he backed off. He let out a deep sigh and then motioned toward the door that lead back to the party. “Shall we?” he said.

“If we must.” I said and then stood up.

Howie took my hand and pulled me against him once more drowning me in a passionate kiss. When he pulled away he grinned and said, “Ok, now I’m ready.” And then lead me back inside.

Chapter 16: I’ll Never Break Your Heart

I didn’t say much for the next few minutes. After all that back in the courtyard, my head was spinning. Howie and I went inside and Joined Leighanne and AJ. I showed Leighanne my new locket while AJ teased Howie and I mercilessly about disappearing. AJ was kind of a funny guy. It was nice to get a chance to talk to him without that fuck head of a friend standing next to him. Speaking of, where the hell was Nick anyway? I hadn’t seen him yet.

Ya know? It’s funny how your brain will think something and then all the sudden it happens, as if you willed it to be, or something. I sure as hell didn’t mean for Nick to appear behind me right as I thought about him, but that’s what happened. Almost the instant I wondered where he was, he was there, and he was asking me to dance. “Excuse me?” I said trying not to laugh.

I could see a hint of annoyance in his face, and frankly that brought a smile to my lips, but he was holding out his hand my direction. I think he was being serious. “You’re not scared are ya?” He spat as if calling me to a challenge.

“I just don’t feel like getting molested tonight, thanks.”

I looked around the table to see AJ failing at an attempt to stifle a laugh, but it was the look on Howie’s face that startled me. He was smiling but his eyes seemed sad. He urged me with just a look to accept Nick’s offer. I couldn’t believe that Howie would want me to have to dance with that man, but he did. Dancing with Nick wasn’t exactly high up on my list of priorities but if it was important to Howie then I figured it wouldn’t kill me.

AJ and Leighanne watched us with curious eyes. Howie’s face brightened as I slowly placed my hand in Nick’s and he pulled me too my feet. As he led me to the dance floor I glanced back to Howie one more time almost like a plea for help but he nodded his approval.

When we reached the middle of the floor Nick pulled me into his arms. God it felt… strange. Foreign…Wrong. It was the opposite of what dancing with Howie was like. I looked up at Nick and I could see that he was feeling just as awkward as me. “What’d you do?” I asked, “Lose a bet?”

Nick’s jaw clenched slightly and his eyes narrowed at my comment. For an instant I felt bad because he was working very hard to not say something rude. Maybe I shoulda been nice, I mean he was trying to be civil I guess, but I’ve never been good at letting go of grudges. I’m too fucking proud. I’m also a bit of a bitch sometimes, but hey? I’m not the one who claims I’m “amazing”.

“No.” he finally said swallowing an insult, “I didn’t lose a bet. I just thought that we should at least try to get along, for the others’ sake.”

“Thinking huh? Don’t hurt yourself.”

Damnit! There I go again. So much for being nice. “Shit woman!” Nick grumbled, “Dou have a chemical imbalance or something?”

“Sorry.” I spat sarcastically.

“Look, I owe you an apology ok?”

“Several actually.”

Nick grunted in frustration and I figured he’d had enough torture. I was about to back down and cut him a little slack when he said, “I don’t get you! Howie’s a really smart guy. He’s always been sensible when it comes to women. And then there’s Brian! He adores you. Usually he’s a really great judge of character but I can’t figure out what either of them sees in such foul-mouthed sarcastic bitch.”

“And I don’t understand how such kind and humble men can be best friends with such an arrogant ass hole!” It was the strangest conversation to be having while you were dancing but we didn’t stop. We kept twirling.

“You’re unbelievable!”

“Me? You were the dick first!”

We were about ready to start a brawl right then and there, when a hand was placed on both our shoulders. We were both startled by it and surprised to see AJ smirking at us. “From over there it looked like you two were about to kill each other. Nicky, would it be all right if I cut in?” he asked.

“Fuck AJ, I’d pay you to take her from me! This bitch is impossible!”

“Your friend’s a fucking bastard!” I said to AJ as Nick stormed off to the table where Leighanne was now sitting with her husband.

I was angry but the strong pair of arms holding me close was quickly calming me down. AJ was laughing and I knew it was at my expense but for some reason it didn’t bother me all that much. Guess I used all my anger up on my previous dance partner. “Seriously, I don’t understand how y’all are such good friends with him.”

“Well it’s kind of like the way we all like you so much.”

AJ laughed when he saw the look on my face. “You two are a lot alike.” He chuckled.

“Excuse me?”

AJ momentarily stepped back with his hands in the air, “Don’t kick my ass or anything.” He said and when it was clear that I wasn’t going to hurt him, at least for the moment, he pulled me back into his arms. “I just mean that you’re both really stubborn.”

I shrugged. He was probably right there. “And prideful.” He continued, “And aggressive.”

“Aggressive?” I questioned and he gave me a playfully dangerous look.

If I didn’t know better I would think he was thinking about – “If we left the two of you alone for too long you’d either kill each other or have a good romp.”

Shit! Don’t blush! Don’t blush! God! If he only knew! I can’t say it was good but there was definitely some “romping” going on the last time we were left alone together. Whatever I did, I couldn’t freak out. I had a feeling that of all of them AJ would be the one to see right through me and figure out what happened and I absolutely didn’t want that! “A good romp, huh?” I teased trying to keep my cool. “So that’s where your mind is.”

AJ grinned and then gave his head a shake. “Can you blame me?”

I looked AJ up and down, and not subtly. I smirked remembering that’s what I’d been thinking about since the first time I saw him. “I guess not.”

We had a good laugh until he said, “If only my best friend wasn’t madly in love with you…”

Well he said it in a teasing way, and I knew what he meant, but I just couldn’t make myself laugh. Madly in love… Could Howie really be “madly in love”? I guess so, I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s where I was heading, if I wasn’t there already. But for some reason hearing him say it like that made my stomach jump. I practically flinched at the words and my face became heated. I tried to cover up my reaction but all that did was tense the muscles in my body and AJ felt my grip of him tighten. He immediately stopped laughing. Good one Cin! He was staring at me with questioning eyes. What? A girl can’t get a little nervous sometimes? “I sure hope you’re not talking about Blondie.” I said with a nervous laugh hoping AJ would move on.

No fucking luck. “Howie’s been my friend for over a decade.” He started. Oh great! Here comes a lecture. “Trust me when I say it’s a little more than casual for him. So if you’re not serious, you should tell him that.”

What was I supposed to say to that? Was I just supposed to spill all my feelings? AJ’s practically a stranger. Yeah, I was serious about Howie. I was seriously contemplating moving to Florida for him. I shrugged not knowing what to say. I forced an awkward smile. “Look, I’m just saying that because you seem like the type of girl that…”

The type of girl that what? AJ stumbled for a moment trying to choose his words carefully. I was beginning to wonder if he was a little more like Nick than I thought. “Well I can imagine that you go through relationships a lot like I do.” He finally said.

Ok, that wasn’t so bad. In fact I’m sure he was right and I’m sure that Howie didn’t have that in common with the two of us. Suddenly I understood what he was getting at and I smirked. He was looking out for Howie as if he was his fucking little sister or something. It was kind of cute in a really weird sort of way. Just how close were these guys?

“You’re right, I do.” I finally admitted. “Yet I’m standing here in the arms of a fine-ass mother fucker who, under normal circumstances, I would have run off to a supply closet with by now, but I’m wishing it was Howie who was holding me.”

AJ gave me an understanding smile. I think he looked a little relieved by my answer and you know the weird thing was I felt a little relieved to admit it. After AJ gave us his blessing and I promised not to break his best friend’s heart, our dance came to an end and we made our way back to the table to join the rest of our party.

I found my seat between Howie and Leighanne just as dinner was served. I wasn’t expecting to like all the fancy looking shit that was placed in front of me but most of it was excellent. There was this shrimp something or other in some kind of cream sauce that was to fucking die for.

As we ate our dinner that night I couldn’t help but sit back and take a good look at what was going on around me. I was having an elegant dinner dressed like a fucking princess sitting next to a man I was pretty sure I’d fallen in love with. Was this a fairy tale or the Twilight Zone? Everything about the moment went against everything I’d known my entire life and these people were practically strangers. The term fish out of water was the fucking understatement of the year and yet as I looked around the table at all the happy faces I smiled. Something about it just felt right.

Fairy tale, the answer was fairy tale, not the Twilight Zone.

I must have been in a daze for a moment because Howie grabbed my hand under the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. I was startled back to the present and looked over to see Howie smiling at me with concern. “Everything ok?” he whispered quietly.

God I was done for! I swallowed a lump in my throat and fought back a few surprise tears. I gazed into his entrancing eyes again and squeezed his hand tightly back. “Everything’s perfect.” I whispered, and I meant it. I glanced around once more and tried not to wrinkle my nose too much when I saw Nick sitting across the table for me. Well, 99 percent perfect anyway, but I could live with that.

As they brought out dessert Brian excused himself. “Speech time.” He announced rolling his eyes yet he was grinning as if he loved the spotlight. I could see that in him.

Brian spoke to the group for a while talking about the charity and the various things they’d accomplished. I was surprised at how well he did in front of an audience. “You husband’s quite the charmer.” I whispered to Leighanne. “He’s funny.”

“I use the term goofball.” Leighanne laughed.

As Brian’s lecture came to an end he called Nick, AJ and Howie up to join him in the spotlight. “He promised us a nice relaxing evening.” AJ addressed the crowd when he was handed a mic. “He never said anything about putting us to work.”

The audience laughed and it appeared I was the only one in the room that didn’t know what was going on. I watched curiously as they were all handed microphones and I didn’t put it together until Leighanne literally spelled it out for me. “You guys knew you weren’t getting out of here without a song.”

“A song?” I asked.

I don’t know what I said but Leighanne’s eyes nearly popped from her head. “You mean, you don’t know?” she said utterly shocked.

“Know what?”

“You don’t know who they are?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

I would have thought she was just messing with me, but the reaction was just too genuine. Leighanne pointed at the guys with a confused look. “You mean none of them told you? This whole time?”

“Told me what?” I asked beginning to get annoyed.

A wicked grin spread across Leighanne’s face. “I think you’re gonna like this.” she said making herself comfortable in her chair.

I followed her eyes back to the guys. “Like what?” I asked just as the music started.

Leighanne just giggled and watched her husband dreamily as he practically made love to her through the microphone. He sounded incredible. All of them did! All I could do was watch curiously and then when AJ took over the lead vocals I remembered the song in the restaurant. “I knew that was his voice!” I said more to myself than anyone.

Leighanne giggled again. “Fun isn’t it?”

I have to admit, it was kind of fun to watch them up there. Even Nick didn’t seem so bad at the moment. When the song ended I joined everyone in a round of applause. They guys took a bow and then began setting their microphones down. Howie’s eyes met mine before he put his down and he stopped. He put the mic back to his lips and said, “Uh, guys?”

Everyone looked at him and he grinned. God he was so cute. “I kind of feel like doing one more.”

The other guys looked at him curiously and he turned to the room. “What do you guys think? Should we sing one more?”

The people cheered and the guys resumed their places in front of the room. “Howie’s in the mood to sing.” Brian said shrugging his shoulders dramatically.

Howie winked my direction and the act didn’t go unnoticed by Nick. His eyes began to flip back and forth between me and Howie and his face lit up like he had an idea. What the fuck was that fucker gonna do? I felt my heart race as Nick playfully moseyed over to Howie and threw an arm over his shoulder. If I didn’t dislike the guy so much I might have thought the act was kind of cute. As it was, I was just worried. “You know, it’s usually Brian that can’t ever seem to stop singing…” he said really turning up the charm for the audience.

“That’s true.” Brian agreed with a giggle.

“And what do you always tell me when I ask you why that is?”

Brian grinned and threw his arm around Howie’s other shoulder. I think at that point Howie was as confused as the audience. He had this look on his face that kind of seemed like he knew he was about to get it but didn’t know what he’d done. “Well Nick,” Brian drawled, “I’m just so crazy in love that I can’t help bursting into song.”

I think Howie and I realized where this was headed at the same time. His cheeks began to turn pink and I sank low in my chair hoping to whatever God Brian seemed to always be praying to, that they were not going to point me out or shine a spotlight onmes or some shit. “Love?” Nick repeated accusing Howie with a single look. “Could it be that our little Latin Lover has fallen victim to his own game?”

All eyes were on Howie now, including mine. Even though I already knew it, I found myself dying to hear the answer. Howie forced a small laugh and glared into the faces of the men that were practically holding him hostage for an answer. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I just enjoy singing?” he said.

There was silence for a moment and then AJ, Brian and Nick simultaneously burst into laughter. They were nearly rolling on the floor while Howie stood frozen on stage, the redness in his face continuing to deepen. He looked fucking guilty as charged. “Millions of hearts the world over are breaking right now.” Brian teased.

AJ had now pushed his way between Nick and Howie in order to join in on the fun. “So Loveryboy?” he snickered, “Was there a certain song you had in mind? Something you wanted to sing for a certain senorita?”

From where I was sitting it looked like Howie was glaring daggers at AJ but I couldn’t be sure. Then he scanned the sea of intrigued faces looking every direction but mine. Poor bastard. I would not want to be in his shoes right then. “I think you mean a princess.” Nick said to AJ and then directed the spotlight to Leighanne and I.

FUCK!

“Everyone say hi to Howie’s new woman.” Nick said and then flashed a fucking smirk the size of Texas my direction. “Come on Cindy, honey, stand up and take a bow. Howie wants us to sing a song to ya. So how about it? Any requests?”

He waited for an answer but I didn’t give him one. Aside from the fact that I was frozen dead in the spotlight and fucking pissed, I didn’t have a request. I didn’t know who they fucking were, much less the names of any of their fucking songs. I don’t know if Leighanne realized my predicament or if she could just feel the anger and embarrassment radiating off of me, but she stepped in like a fucking guardian angel and put a stop to the torture. “Nicky?” she said earning the attention of everyone in the room.

She smiled at me and I just looked at her hoping she could see the gratitude behind my stare. “I have a request.” She said with a giggle. “I wanna hear my husband sing, I’ll Never Break Your Heart.”

Brian didn’t miss a beat. “You know I won’t Baby!” He said receiving a few laughs.

“I love you honey.” Leighanne laughed and the guys all took their places.

The light was once again pointed up front, thank GOD! “Thank you.” I whispered to Leighanne.

“They spend so much time in the spotlight that they sometimes forget how scary it is.” Leighanne said apologetically.

Too bad that ass hole knew exactly what he was doing the whole fucking time. If I wasn’t wearing a dress that probably cost more than I’d ever see in a lifetime, I would have kicked the shit out of the fucker right then. I’d say remind me to do it later, but a reminder won’t be necessary. I can’t wait to get my hands on the little bastard.

I sat in my chair fuming until the moment they started singing and I recognized the song instantly. My hand found it’s way to the locket around my neck and a smile crept into my eyes. I looked at Howie who’d had his eyes on me for while now and my anger vanished. Everything vanished. The entire world was shut out in an instant and it was just Howie and I, and he was singing promises to me that I knew he intended to keep. I was so pulled into his world that I didn’t hear Leighanne’s phone ring. I didn’t notice when she answered it and I never heard the fear in her voice. I didn’t know what was going on until she was shaking my arm and shoving the phone in my face. “It’s your mother.” She said with desperation.

Chapter 17: Shattered Dreams


“Mom?”

“Cinderella!”

I felt sick. Mom’s normally strong angry voice was nothing more than a faint whisper. “Mom!” I screamed.

“Your father’s here.” She whispered. “He’s drunk. I locked the door but he won’t stop pounding. He’s trying to break it down. Please come home. He won’t hurt me if you’re here.”

I could hear my father’s evil voice slurring profanity through the door. I couldn’t really understand what he was saying but I did hear him scream my name. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped in that instant. Momma sounded so scared and I knew she was probably right about Hank. He wouldn’t hurt her if I were there. I dropped the phone to the ground and ran. I couldn’t let him hurt her, not again. She couldn’t die because of my temper. I felt sick. I had to stop it. Hank was mad at me. This was my battle.

Forget about the song, forget about the fancy dress, forget everything. It was only a matter of time before Hank got in the house and after what he did to her the last time there was no telling what would happen. I shuddered at the thought and ran from the ballroom as fast as I could. I didn’t mean to cause a scene, but I know there was more than one pair of eyes watching me as I escaped.

The only time my thoughts strayed from my mother once the rest of that night. As I flew out the doors I wondered if Howie had seen me go and what he must be thinking. I wondered if he might come after me and I prayed he wouldn’t. He would surely try to come with me and having him there would only complicate things.

I ran through the hotel lobby and when I got outside I realized for the first time that I had no way to get home. “Fuck!” I yelled earning a few surprised looks from the people around me. Even Driving like fucking Batman it would take nearly 15 minutes to get home. If I had to wait for a cab and then try to convince them to hurry, Mom would be dead long before I could reach her.

I fell to the ground losing all control of my emotions and cried. I had no control. No control over anything, not me, not my parents… My body started trembling and I felt as if I were going to be sick until I heard someone call my name. Shit! Howie was trying to stop me. But when I turned around Howie wasn’t there at all, it was Leighanne that had come running out the door behind me. Her face paled. “What happened?” she gasped falling to my side and throwing her arms around me.

“If he gets inside before I get there, he’ll kill her. I have to stop him.”

Part of me couldn’t believe I was admitting that, but I never have been able to keep anything from Leighanne. The thing about this was, that I never talked about what my father was really capable of doing to my mother and I. It was a defense mechanism I guess. If I didn’t say it out loud then I could pretend that it couldn’t really happen. But now I had. I’d physically said the words and it terrified me more than I ever thought possible. I looked around starting to panic. “Somebody call me a fucking cab!” I yelled.

I looked at Leighanne who had tears in her eyes as well and she let out a little gasp. “The limo!” she said. She ran over to the valet and after a moment returned to my side. “The limo is parked here at the hotel. It will be faster than waiting for a cab.”

I couldn’t believe Leighanne was helping me like that. I mean I knew she was sweet but the way she was thinking was like she really understood what was going on. I was barely able to whisper a thank you but I’m sure she could see how relieved I was. I threw my arms around her not only to thank her but because I was desperate for any reassurance I could get.

Seconds later Leighanne was shuffling me into the limo. I didn’t realize at first that she’d climbed in right behind me or I never would have let her come, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I heard her tell the driver that we had to get back to Hanley as fast as we possibly could and a tiny piece of me relaxed when he took her seriously. He obeyed traffic laws through Lexington but the moment we hit the highway he punched the gas.

That drive home was the most agonizing 15 minutes of my life. Leighanne and I sat in the back of the limo both with shaking bodies and tears spilling from our eyes. God only knows what my father was doing to my mother right now. “What if I’m too late?” I whispered.”

“Don’t say that.” Leighanne whispered back squeezing my hand tightly. “Maybe she called the police after she called you.”

Shit! Why hadn’t I thought of that? God I’m so stupid sometimes. I thought for a moment? Would my mother have called them? Before my brain could even think the answer, my head was involuntarily shaking. “Momma would never call the police on him.”

“Then we’ll call them.” Leighanne said.

I watched as she frantically looked around for her phone but it was nowhere to be seen. Apparently she hadn’t picked it up after I dropped it. Great. Oh well, its not like Sheriff Shithead and Deputy Dumbass have ever done much to help us before. Why should tonight be any different?

As we reached the Hanley town limits I got really nervous. If he had even touched my mom I was going to put a stop to it once and for all. I was ready to kill the fucking bastard and I didn’t care if it meant life in prison. I looked at the prim and proper beauty sitting next to me and I knew I didn’t want her to see what I knew we were walking into. I especially didn’t want her to be in any danger. She looked scared already and we weren’t even there yet. “Leighanne?” I said grasping her hands tightly. “Trust me when I say that no matter what, you do not want to get out of this car.”

“Cin! You can’t go in there by yourself.”

“Promise me! Lock the fucking doors and don’t step one foot out of this car! Hank is a bastard. He WILL hurt you if you get in his way.”

Leighanne took a sharp intake of breath. I could only imagine what might be running through her head. Slowly she nodded her head. “I promise.” She finally whispered.

I looked at her and forced the best smile I could. I took the locket from around my neck and placed it in Leighanne’s palm. She went white as I handed it to her. “For safe keeping.” I said. “I don’t want to break it or have that bastard steal it or something.”

The limo pulled into the trailer park and as we drove up to my place I could see that the door had been broken in but I didn’t hear and screaming. I was sure he had killed her. “Leighanne!” I said trying not to let my voice shake, “As soon as I get out I want you to go and get the police. Just turn right out of the trailer park and drive about 4 miles to Main St. Take a left and you’ll see it on the left about 2 miles up the road.” Leighanne nodded. “Just tell them I sent you. Tell them that Hank’s at it again and Cindy needs help. They’ll understand.”

Leighanne nodded one more time as tears flowed down her face. I started to jump out of the car and she grabbed me pulling me into a tight hug. “Be careful.” She whispered.

Shit! It was almost as if we were saying goodbye forever and I was marching to my doom. I smirked. It was a little melodramatic. After all, it was only Hank. Yeah he was a bastard and yeah he was dangerous, but I knew how to defend myself, I know I can take him, especially if he’s drunk. I gained a little of my confidence back and walked into the house. “Momma?” I yelled.

I heard her scream, “Cinderella! No! Don’t!” and I barely caught a glimpse of her terrified figure being held down by my father before the lights went out.

I don’t know how he did it, but it happened so fast I never saw it coming. I don’t even know how long I was unconscious. The only thing I do know for sure is that the real nightmare began when I came to. I recognized my bedroom but had no idea how I’d gotten there.

I’d obviously been hit in the head when I came through the door. With what, I don’t know, but it fucking did some damage. My head hurt so bad that I could hardly move and my vision was blurred from the blood that was trickling into my eyes. I laid there for a moment not sure if I could sit up when I felt someone’s hands gently pushing the blood soaked hair out of my face. “Not so tough now, are ya Princess?”

I may have had a severe concussion but I wasn’t messed up bad enough to forget that voice. I forced my eyes to focus and realized that Pete was straddling me. The strangest combination of panic and rage overcame me and I tried as hard as I could to crawl out from underneath him. When I began swinging my arms I was met with a sharp fist to my face. “Don’t fight it bitch!” he yelled, “You’ll only make it harder on yourself.”

I was already really weak from the blow to the head and that fat fuck must have weighed nearly 400 pounds. I was hurt and I was scared and I was pinned. I was fucking pathetic. So terrified that I couldn’t even scream for help, I couldn’t stop him. All I could do was watch as he pulled a butterfly knife from his pants pocket and slit my fucking brand new dress from bottom to top.

My muscled tensed as the cold metal blade ran along my skin threatening to slice me open if I flinched. My stomach churned when I felt his hands on me and I found myself whishing I would throw up all over him. Maybe then he might get off me. But just like the rest of my body, my stomach wasn’t listening to my brain.

My nightmare got worse when Pete slipped his hand under the only piece of clothing he hadn’t ripped off me yet. He moaned a little as he pushed his fingers deep inside me and I began thrashing wildly. Oh God how could he do this to me? How could I have let this happen? I kicked and I fought as hard as I could and I managed to free my right arm. Unfortunately I’m a lefty and my right arm has never really packed much of a punch so my hitting didn’t do any good. In fact all it did was piss him off.

He pulled his hand free from me and began smacking me around again. “I told you not to do that.” He warned but there was no way in hell I was going to go down without a fight.

I grabbed his arm and bit into it as hard as I could. I don’t even want to know what kind of nasty diseases I could contract from doing that, but for a moment he jumped back screaming in pain and I kicked him off of me. I jumped up off the bed but the moment I stood I nearly fell to the ground I was so dizzy. I tried to stumble my way out the door but Pete tackled me to the ground and apparently he’d had enough games this time. He kicked me in the stomach forcing all the air from my lungs and then beat me until I was unconscious again. I only blacked out for a second but the damage had been done. He’d managed to get his pants down and was holding his knife to my throat. I guess he was waiting for me to be awake when he fucking raped me. The sick bastard.

When I woke up I immediately began fighting again. “Do you want to die tonight?” he whispered coldly as he pushed the blade into my throat lightly drawing blood.

I froze except for the tears that ran down my cheeks and the blood that was still dripping from my head. I didn’t want to die tonight, that much I knew. I couldn’t help the whimpering and I begged him not to hurt me anymore.

I think the begging was what the sick fuck was actually waiting for because as I cried for help he only laughed in my face and then committed the worse act that anyone could ever do to another person. Right then I wished that he’d killed me instead.

It’s funny what your mind thinks about as your being raped. First of all it shuts down. You don’t bother fighting anymore. It’s too late and you know it, so you withdraw from your surroundings. Everything happened so fast and yet moved in slow motion. I wasn’t sure if I even knew what was really happening to me. I do remember thinking that it didn’t physically hurt the way I thought it would and I actually fucking smirked thinking that it was probably because he had suck a tiny pecker. Is that a fucking twisted thought to be having right then or what?

It didn’t really take the pervert that long to finish and he must have really enjoyed it because as he reached his climax he dropped his knife next to my face. The fucker didn’t even realize he’d done it. Fucking idiot! I grabbed the knife and jabbed it into the side of his gut as hard as I could. The man is so huge that I doubt I did all that much damage but I’m sure it still hurt like a damn son of a bitch.

Pete toppled off me rolling on the floor in pain but I was holding the knife so tightly that it stayed in my hand as he fell. He swore up a storm but was hurt badly enough that he didn’t get up. I pulled myself up as quickly as I could and wrapped a small blanket off my bed around me.

I was hurt bad and I knew it. I was surprised that I could even stand but somehow I managed to reach my bedroom door. As I pulled it open my father heard Pete’s cries and came running down the hallway. He stopped when he saw me standing there with a fucking bloody knife in my hand. “You crazy bitch!” he said, “You fucking stabbed him didn’t you.”

“I’ll do worse to you if you don’t get out of my fucking way.” I said hoping he wouldn’t notice how unsteady I was.

He laughed and then took a step toward me so I threw the knife at him. It landed in his chest somewhere near his shoulder and he drew back in shock. “God damn it Cinderella!” he yelled and then drew a gun from his waist.

I heard the shot go off and immediately fell to the floor. I knew I had to have been shot but somehow I didn’t feel any pain. Everything went dark but I wasn’t dead. Not yet anyway. I felt my father fall to the ground at my feet and took some satisfaction in the fact that if I were making the trip to the other side tonight then at least I would be taking him with me, or at least I hoped it.

The last thing I heard was my mother’s terrified screams and then another gunshot. After that all was silent. One final thought ran through my brain and although I couldn’t say the words, in my heart I told my momma I would see her in heaven and then told my father to go to hell.

Chapter 18: Selective Amnesia

This part of the story isn’t fuzzy the way the night of my birthday is. I remember everything about it. Every thought, every feeling, every word everyone said, every fucking detail. This part of the story is a little fuzzy because all those things I was just talking about were so overwhelming that I just couldn’t handle it.

You would think the part where I was beaten nearly to death, raped and then shot would be the scariest moment of my life, but it wasn’t. Surviving it was worse. Don’t get me wrong, I was terrified when I thought that fat fuck was going to kill me, but at least I knew where I was and who was doing this to me. When I woke up in the hospital I didn’t know anything. Most people who’ve been through something so awful wish everyday that they didn’t remember it, but trust me when I say that leaving it up to your imagination is far worse.

I woke up to find myself in a hospital bed feeling like a truck had run over me and I had no idea why I was there. I couldn’t seem to really move and I couldn’t see out of my right eye. There were tubes and wires everywhere and I seemed to be hooked up to several different machines. I started to panic. What was I doing in the hospital and what the fuck happened to me? I tried to look around the room but didn’t have a very good view so I attempted to sit up. Bad idea! The pain that shot threw me was unlike anything I’d ever felt before “Fuck!”

I screamed with what I thought was great force but the sound didn’t make it past a whisper. It was however, just enough sound to wake the person who had been sleeping in the corner of the room. He jumped at the sound of my voice and was buy my side in an instant. It took a moment for my good eye to adjust to his presence but looking at him was like seeing an angel. I needed some answers and I knew he would have them for me. “John?” I whispered as he lightly took my hand in his.

“Cindy.” He whispered with tears in his eyes. “Welcome back.”

“What the fuck happened?”

I’ve never seen John look more confused. He didn’t say a word and yet his face told me enough. Whatever happened to me was so god awful that he couldn’t believe I didn’t know. I could also tell that he didn’t want to be the one to fill me in so I wasn’t surprised when he dodged the question entirely. “Jesus Cin, you gave us quite a scare. We thought we were gonna lose you.”

“Shit John, you should know you’ll never be lucky enough to be rid of me.” I smirked. I was just trying to lighten the mood a little but John didn’t seem to think it was funny. Guess I really must have been close to my death. Wouldn’t surprise me though, as shitty as I felt right then.

I knew I needed to change the subject because John looked as though he were going to burst into tears at any moment, the fucking baby. “So where the fuck’s Danny? Didn’t he want to spend all day waiting around for my sorry ass to wake up?”

“Days.” John corrected me.

“What?”

“It’s been four days Cin.”

I know my eyes popped out of my head, or at least the one I could open did. How could I have been in the hospital for four days? “And Danny’s in the cafeteria with the other’s.”

“Others?”

“He won’t come into the room though, he doesn’t think you want to see him. But he’s real worried about ya. We all are.” John added in voice that was a little softer than the one he’d previously been using.

What kind of a crazy idea was that? Fuck, Danny and John were the only people on the planet I cared about. If I was as close to death as John seemed to think then damn straight I wanted my best friend to be there! “Why the fuck not?” I asked. “It’s not his fault I’m here, is it? He didn’t get wasted and run me over or some crazy shit did he?”

At the time I didn’t know what the hell John’s problem was and as he stared at me completely dumbfounded I started to think maybe I did get run over. Lucky guess? “Well,” John said but then hesitated.

“What!” I said impatiently. I was tired of being in the dark. Hell I was just tired. You try almost dying and see how you feel. “You told Danny to get the fuck out of your life. He’s convinced that you were serious. Hell you had us all convinced with that performance you gave. Danny’s been moping around like a damn jackass ever since.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? And who the hell are these others you keep mentioning?”

I don’t know why John was getting pissy, he’s the one who wasn’t making any sense. “Damn Cindy! Disowning your best friend because of those city folks, quitting you job and threatening to leave town forever isn’t something you just forget! What the hell is wrong with you?”

I gasped. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I had no idea what he was talking about. I would have thought he was playing some kind of sick joke on me but this was John I was talking to, not Danny. That fear of not knowing what happened to me intensified like a bazillion percent. The nightmare just kept getting worse. I started to panic and John put his hand lightly to my cheek as he tried to calm me down. I don’t know why but I flinched when he touched me and he immediately pulled back. “I’m sorry.” He said full of regret.

I’m not that used to being touched but I shouldn’t have flinched. I guess it was a subconscious impulse. The truth is it terrified me to feel his hand on me. I’m not joking, I wanted to shit my pants I was so afraid. We’re talking about John for Christ’s sake. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me but I couldn’t help being scared of him and that scared me more than he did.

I’m not a crier. In fact I don’t know that I ever have, but I was so scared and fucking confused that tears welled up in my eyes. Real honest to God fucking tears. “What’s the last thing you do remember?” John asked.

I thought about it for a moment. Everything in my brain was a bit hazy and I really couldn’t tell where the memories stopped. “I don’t know.” I said, “I guess I remember watching Millionaire, but I can’t remember what night that was. Shit the damn show’s on five nights a week now. I think it was almost my birthday. I didn’t miss it did I? You’ll have to get me really wasted to make up for it if I did.”

“Cin.” John whispered, “Your birthday was almost two weeks ago. We had a cake and a fucking Cinderella piñata.”

“A what?” I asked clenching my fist.

John finally smiled for the first time since I woke up. “You almost kicked Danny’s ass for it.” He smirked. “You really don’t remember?”

All I could do was shake my head. I felt lost. How could I ever forget a fucking Cinderella piñata? I started crying again and John’s eyes glossed over as well. Nobody hates feeling vulnerable more than me but that’s how I felt. John and I just stared at each other. I wanted to ask him what was going on but I didn’t know how. And I’m pretty sure that if I could have managed it he wouldn’t have been able to give me the answer, but we still knew what each other was thinking.

It was a fucking awkward moment. Didn’t last long though because suddenly my room was full of fucking strangers. They all seemed very happy to see me awake and I could feel a fucking panic attack hitting me as they approached my bedside. This one guy walked right up to me with tears in his eyes and reached out like he was going to actually touch me.

I’m not exactly proud of this, but if I could have jumped out of my bed and hid in the corner I would have. “John?” I screamed and shut my eyes tightly. I guess I figured if I couldn’t see him, he wasn’t really there, just like a damn six year old. I felt John grab hold of my hand. “She doesn’t remember what happened.” I heard him explain, “She can’t even remember her birthday.”

“She couldn’t remember that anyway.” I heard an unfamiliar voice laugh.

“AJ!” A female voice scolded.

I wondered which one of them said that but I was only able to open my eyes after I was instructed to do so. “Cin it’s ok.” John whispered, “These people are your friends.”

I looked up at him with tear-blurred vision and all he could do was offer a weak smile. I pulled him down on to the bed next to me. It was like I needed him to shield me from the strangers he claimed I knew. I looked up at them and was glad to see that they had all taken a few steps back. There were four of them. Three guys and a girl and I could hear another guy talking to Danny out in the hall.

I stared at the strangers curiously. How in the hell could these people be my friends? They had big city written all over them and the woman looked like fucking Barbie. They all seemed confused and the girl was crying. I looked to John for an explanation. “Do you recognize them at all?” I shook my head no. “Not even Howie?”

God, now I really wanted to be sick. They had names and John knew them. Obviously if I didn’t recognize any of them, then that meant I didn’t recognize whichever one was Howie, but everyone seemed to be waiting for an answer. I got a shiver from the way John said his name. It was almost like he was saying he was my boyfriend. I looked at them all again and while all of them were fairly good-looking I certainly couldn’t see myself with any of them. Well, maybe that one with the tattoos and goatee, he was a fine motherfucker. I looked at John and forgot to whisper as I asked, “Did I fuck one of these guys or something?”

John smirked and I could tell that the others wanted to laugh as well but they tried their hardest not to. “For once the answer to that is no.” John teased, “At least not that I know of. Believe it or not Cindy, I think you fell in love.”

Holy FUCK! Now I knew this was some kind of sick joke! “This fucking isn’t funny John! If Danny put you up to this I’m going to kick his ass clear to the next county.” I screamed. I’d had enough of this shit. “Danny! I know your out there, I can hear your fucking girly voice! Get your ass in here!”

Danny came barreling through the door followed by some blonde guy and stared at me with a confused look. “What the fuck is going on here!”

“Wha?” Danny gasped not even able to finish the word.

“It’s not a joke Cin.” John said.

I looked into his eyes and I knew he was telling the truth. “A lot’s happened in the last couple weeks.”

“You fucking think?”

John winced at my harsh tone of voice and I instantly felt bad. John’s always been good at making me feel guilty. I didn’t mean to yell at him, but what the fuck! Seriously! There was some twisted shit going on here and I still didn’t even fucking know why I was in the fucking hospital. Then, as if he were a fucking angel from heaven, a man in a white lab coat entered the room. “Ah, Ms. Fisher, I see you’re awake.” He said cheerfully.

He smiled at me and then turned to everyone else and said, “I hate to be a stickler, I know you’re all anxious to visit, but Ms. Fisher still needs a lot of rest.” Thank the fucking lord, people were leaving! Now if only that doctor could tell me what the fuck is going on, he would be my new fucking hero.

Everyone slowly left the room except for John who didn’t budge from my side. The doctor didn’t try to make him go and personally I was ok with that. I looked at the man who had almost touched me. His eyes were dark and beautiful but scary at the same time. There was so much emotion behind them. He seemed hurt and really worried. He was the last to leave and I don’t think he was all that happy about having to go but he didn’t protest at all. He had to be the one John was talking about. He had to be Howie.

He caught me staring and stopped walking. I think he wanted to say something or maybe he was hoping I would. No fucking way was I going to be the first one to speak. Not after what John said. This guy appeared to care about me but there was no fucking way I could possibly have fallen… I won’t even say it; it’s so ridiculous. He’s not even my type. Anyway, when he stopped it made me nervous and I quickly looked away. When I looked up again he was gone. Only me, John and the doctor were still in the room.

The doctor began asking me routine questions like, “Are you tired?” and “Do you have any difficulty breathing?” and “Does it hurt when I do this?” I just wanted to scream, “What the fuck do you think? Yes to it all!” but I didn’t. I was about to, but then he asked if I remembered what happened and I was too fucking curious to be pissed off anymore. I shook my head.

“That’s not uncommon with head injuries.” He said with a smile.

“It’s more than just the… incident.” John said. What the fuck was up with that? Incident??? Does that mean it wasn’t an accident? You mean Danny didn’t run over me a with a dam car? Shit. “She actually doesn’t remember anything from about the last two weeks.” John informed.

“Again, that’s not that uncommon. You took quite a blow to the head little lady. There was quite a bit of swelling. Lucky for you it looks like there won’t be any permanent damage.”

“So you mean her memory will come back?”

“It’s hard to say. We don’t know if the memory loss is from the head trauma or if it’s more likely selective amnesia.”

“Selective amnesia?” John repeated.

“Sometimes when people have gone through something as horrific as Cindy here, they subconsciously block out the bad memories. She may not remember because she doesn’t want to.”

Bullshit! There was nothing I wanted more than to remember what happened. And I fucking love how they were talking about me as if I weren’t even in the fucking room. “That would make sense.” John said, “The trouble all started the night before her birthday and that is exactly what she can’t remember.”

I couldn’t listen to any more of this shit. “Damnit!” I yelled as loud as I possibly could although it hurt like hell and was still pretty pathetic sounding. “I’m right fucking here!”

Now that I had their attention… “Someone better tell me what the fuck happened right now or you’ll both be fucking sorry.”

The doctor felt bad, I could tell, but he still smiled. “Takes after her mother I see.”

How the fuck would he know that? “The bitch actually come to visit or something?” I laughed.

“She wanted to.” The doctor explained, “But she’s pretty banged up too so I told her she had to stay put at least until you woke up. No sense in wasting energy to visit an unconscious person.”

“She wasn’t too happy about that.” John laughed.

I felt a lump form in my stomach. Momma was hurt too? I know I called her a bitch and all, she is one, but she’s still my mother. “Momma’s here? In the hospital?”

“She’s gonna be ok Cin.” John assured me. “She wasn’t nearly in the kind of shape you were.”

“She’s being discharged today.” The doctor added.

“What happened?”

“Cuts and bruises mostly.” The doctor said, “She had a few bruised ribs and a sprained wrist, but that’s nothing compared to you.”

“What happened to me?”

I asked the question before I realized that I might just get an answer and suddenly I didn’t think I wanted to know. When the doctor sighed I held my breath knowing that he was about to give me a very lengthy explanation. “Well,” he said and John grabbed my hand tightly again, “The bat to the head did the most damage. You lost a good amount of blood and there was quite a bit of swelling in your brain. You’ll never have 20/20 vision again, but it’s nothing contact lenses can’t fix.”

A bat to the head? Somebody beat me with a fucking baseball bat? Who the hell would do that? And Why? We’re we robbed? I guarantee you there was nothing in our shitty little trailer worth breaking in for. Oh God I wished he was going to stop there but somehow I knew there was more, lots more. I couldn’t help the tears that began trickling down my face. The doctor saw the tears and hesitated for only a moment before continuing with the damage report. “You have a fractured jaw, 6 broken ribs and the bullet punctured your lung.”

I’d been shot too? No fucking wonder I hurt like hell. “Other than that?” the doctor continued, “Everything’s pretty banged up but you should be fine. Your assailant was pretty rough and you were a little torn up but he didn’t do too much damage there. You’ll still be able to have children and all that someday. And the rape kit came back negative for any diseases. Overall you took a pretty severe beating but with time you’re going to be ok. You’re a hell of a fighter.”

“Strongest person I know.” John said choking back a sob.

The few drops of water that had been falling from my eyes was now a river flowing down my cheeks as I realized what had been done to me. It was every woman’s nightmare and now it was more than that. It was my reality. I began to sob and John wrapped his arms around me. Normally I would kick someone’s ass for hugging me but God did I need it right then.

I sat there in John’s arms and cried for a minute. “We have a psychiatrist on staff who specializes in this kind of thing. I’ll give her a call.” The doctor offered, “But right now I think you should try and get some more rest. You’re still really weak.”

John nodded to the doctor but I couldn’t reply. “I’ll be back to check on you in a bit and if you need anything just call for the nurses.”

I thought I had been crying already, but when the doctor left I really lost it. “How could this happen John?” I cried, “Who would do such a thing?”

I felt John’s arms stiffen around me and I knew he knew who had done this to me. I pulled myself away from him and looked at him with desperation. “Maybe we should wait for the shrink.” He whispered.

“God John! Please! Just tell me who did this!”

“Well Hank-

“Oh god!” I gasped without letting him finish. “Hank! You mean my own father actually ra-

“No! Cindy. God, no.” John didn’t let me actually say the word and I was glad he didn’t. Without actually saying it, maybe I could still pretend it didn’t happen. If anyone asks, Danny ran me over with the fucking car. “Hank started in on your mom again and you went to stop him. I guess he figured you would come and he brought some help. Hank’s the one that shot you, but he didn’t…”

John’s voice trailed off. I guess he couldn’t say it out loud either. “Then who?”

John looked away from me. He really, really didn’t want to tell me, but I had to know. “Who!” I yelled.

He stared down at his lap and could barely squeak the name but it rang loud and clear in my mind. “Pete Jensen.” That name would haunt me for the rest of my life. I almost wish he hadn’t told me although I’m sure I would have figured it out eventually anyway. He and dad have been friends since grade school and he’s the only other person in town that was capable of something so evil.

The room started to spin and John reached for the bedpan just in time for me to heave into it. I felt destroyed. To think of that sick fat fuck, god it still makes me sick! “Tell me he’s in fucking jail!” I whispered when I was finished vomiting.

“Prison actually.” John said. “Howie and Brian had their lawyers all over it before he was even released from the hospital. Howie said they’re some of the best attorneys in existence so hopefully Pete will never see the light of day again.”

I didn’t know what to feel at that point. I was humiliated and disgusted and fucking terrified but it felt good to know that those fuckers would rot forever. Except John didn’t say anything about my dad. Surely he was right there with Pete. Maybe he was even worse off. He did fucking shoot me. Isn’t that attempted murder? “And my dad? That fucker should fry for what he did.”

“Cindy your father’s dead. Your momma shot him.”

I cried again. The weird thing is though, I wasn’t sure if my tears were happy tears or sad tears. I had no remorse for my father. That bastard got exactly what he deserved. I did feel bad for my mom though. As sick as it might be, she loved him. She always had, and now she had his death on her conscience.

Since the moment I’d waken up I wanted nothing except to know what had happened, and now I knew. The doctor was right, fucking selective amnesia. Suddenly I understood why my brain had opted to block it all out. It was too late to take it back, but I still wished I hadn’t found it out. The information was more than a little overwhelming and I said nothing more. I cried for a bit while John held me and before long I was asleep. With any luck it was all a nightmare and when I woke up I would be far from this fucking hospital.

Chapter 19: Meet The Littrells

OK… So… Let’s recap shall we? I’m Cinderella. No, that’s not a fucking joke, that’s really my name. I’m a white trash hick tomboy, who up until what sounds like about two weeks ago, had 2 and only 2 friends and the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me was occasionally winning 20 bucks when I beat said friends at Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. I woke up yesterday to find out that I’d been beaten senseless and raped by a greasy tow-truck man who I’ve always known as Pete the Pervert. I survived his attack only to then be shot by my own goddamned father who was then killed by my drunk-ass bitch of a mother.

That’s not even the crazy part. The part that blows my mind is the part where somewhere in the last two weeks (which I conveniently can’t remember) I managed to disown my best friend, quit my job and fall in fucking love with some fucking city boy that happens to “have” the best lawyers in existence, whatever the hell that means… What kind of person “has” a fucking lawyer? Oh, and apparently I’m friends with fucking Barbie too. Even thought the evidence seems to support it, there’s no way in hell all of that shit happened in the last two weeks. It’s just not fucking possible…

Or at least that’s what I thought as I lay in my hospital bed the next morning. I’d waken up several times throughout the night to vivid nightmares and nurses poking me and stuff so I’d given up on the idea that it was all just a nasty dream. It was for fucking real and even as I woke up in the morning I heard some unfamiliar voices talking. I dreaded having to confront who ever it was so I just laid there with my eyes closed hoping they wouldn’t realize I was no longer asleep. I’ve never really been religious but I fucking said a silent prayer that they would leave.

There were two voices, a man and a woman. Ok, so the female voice was Barbie, but which one of those guys was she talking to? Whoever he was, he must have been from around here. I couldn’t place the accent a hundred percent, but it resembled that same country twang that the rest of us Kentucky natives have. From the pieces of the conversation I’d heard, the two were together. All the “Honey’s” and “Sweetie’s” were enough to make me fucking gag. On the bright side though, that meant that the man in my room was not the one John claimed I was in love with. I thought about opening my eyes. I had to face them all eventually. Maybe these people would be able to fill me in a little before I had to confront the man who’s eyes had been in my dreams that night. After thinking it over again though, I decided pretend sleep was the best was to go.

Of all the times to have a major coughing fit, I swear! I’d had several of them since waking up. I guess that happens when a fucking bullet leaves a hole in your lung. I started coughing so hard it wouldn’t have surprised me if I’d literally coughed up that lung. I bet that’s where that phrase comes from. It hurt like a son of a bitch but I was more upset that I could no longer feign sleeping. Both of the strangers were by my side in an instant. The man sat me up and rubbed his hand slowly across my back. (It was the short sandy blonde one, incase you were wondering, killer blue eyes.) I flinched when he first touched me but he didn’t back away and the more he rubbed my back the more soothing it became. Fuck, I could get used to that. The woman brought me a glass of water. I tried to take a sip but it didn’t do me any fucking good. “Leigh honey, why don’t you go get the nurse?”

“No.” I choked between coughs. “I’ll be ok.” I was sick of fucking nurses already. No way did I want to invite one in if I didn’t absolutely have to.

The woman stopped and then rejoined me on the opposite side of the bed as the guy and grabbed my hand. After a minute the coughing stopped but the damage had been done. My cover was blown and I was staring at two very curious strangers. “You sure you don’t want a nurse?” the woman asked.

I nodded my head and then the guy helped me lie back against the bed, but not before fluffing my pillow for me. What a fucking gentleman. He then pressed the button that moved the bed until I was comfortably sitting more upright. “Thanks.” I said. Not very original but lord knows I didn’t know what else to say.

I’m not sure if it was the next two seconds or two minutes, but it was the most uncomfortable silence I’ve ever fucking experienced in my life. My eyes naturally shifted back and forth between the two strangers but they both stared at me with these big fucking innocent eyes. The silence was enough to kill us all and I wanted nothing more than to break it, but what the hell do you say in a situation like that? Thank God I didn’t have to speak first. I don’t know what kind of look was on my face at the moment, but whatever it was it couldn’t have been good. The woman’s face dropped and the gorgeous smile that man was wearing turned to a frown. “Would you like us to go?” he asked.

He seemed sincere, like he really would have left if I’d asked him to, but I know he was praying I wouldn’t. “I admit, y’all are making me nervous as hell, but honestly? I don’t know if I like the idea of being left alone just yet.”

What the hell was that? I just blurted it out. Wasn’t I the one wishing they were gone like two seconds ago? And since when the fuck was I scared of being alone? God I felt like such an ass. I wonder how these two got stuck babysitting me anyway? “Where’s Danny and John?”

“They took your mom home.” The guy offered.

The woman chimed in right after saying, “They said they’d be back as soon as Hal go there. He’s gonna stay with her so that she isn’t alone.”

It was weird to here these people talking so casually about Danny and John, but when Barbie started talking about Hal, it kinda freaked me out. “You guys really do know me, don’t you?”

They both smiled sweetly and yet sighed heavily at the same time. It was time to talk. We couldn’t avoid the whole ‘I don’t remember them’ thing any longer. “Surprisingly well for only having met two weeks ago.” The man said and extended a hand. “I’m Brian. We actually met on your birthday.”

I looked at his hand and I knew I was going to have to shake it so I swallowed the rising anxiety and slowly took it. His grip was firm and yet he was gentle. And his hands were fucking soft! After shaking my hand the woman joined him and he slid an arm around her waist. “This is my wife Leighanne.”

I waited for her to offer her hand as well, but she didn’t. She smiled, but as she stared at me she was unable to stop the flow of tears. I watched curiously as her body began to shake. Brian took her into his arms and held her tightly as she buried her face in his chest. Can you believe my first thought was, “How cute is that?” I mean normally shit like that makes me want to puke but watching that man comfort his wife, literally seeing how much he loved her, almost made me wish I were standing in her place. Shit, this whole ordeal has made me fucking emotional.

Barbie, uh, I mean Leighanne, was crying uncontrollably now. Brian looked at me and said, “You’ll have to forgive Leigh, she’s had a rough time with all of this.”

I felt bad for the woman, I really did, but I also couldn’t help thinking that she was way too dramatic. Just like a fucking woman. Chicks are so much drama, all the time. That’s one of the main reasons I’ve never been friends with a girl before.

I sat there wondering how the fuck I could possibly be friends with this woman when suddenly she flew at me and threw her arms around my neck. The woman was fucking hugging me! What the fuck? I didn’t know what to do. I’m not one to give fucking hugs, but I didn’t have the strength to pull her off of me and based on how tight her grip was I think she really needed it, so I put my arms around her. I couldn’t really squeeze because pretty much every move I made hurt like fucking hell, but when I rested my arms on the distraught woman’s back she squeezed me even tighter. “Oh God Cindy!” she cried, “This is all my fault! I’m so sorry! God I’m so sorry!”

Her fault? How could she think any of this was her fault? I sent a puzzled glance to the man standing closely behind her but he was busy staring at his wife with tears in his eyes. “Shit Honey!” I laughed.

Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed, but we all know I’m not the most sensitive person in the world. “It couldn’t have been your fault. Hank’s been a bastard all his life. I always knew he would do something like this eventually.”

Leighanne shut her eyes tightly to push the memories from her mind. “There was so much blood. I. I. I thought you were dead.”

“You were there?” I practically gasped.

“I should have been.” Leighanne cried pulling herself away in order to look at me. She shuddered at a memory and then spoke meekly through her sobs. “But I went the wrong way. When we saw the door broken in I was so scared. After what that man said to us at the store I thought your mother was going to be dead.”

Leighanne cried again for a minute before she was able to continue her confession. I didn’t know what man she was talking about or what he said but from the sounds of it, it wasn’t pleasant and I bet a pretty little woman like her has never been threatened before. I kinda felt bad for dragging her into the middle of my shit and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what we were doing hanging out together. “We got lost and it had been almost a half an hour before I finally got the cops to your house. Half an hour! Jesus when we got there you were… and that awful man, he… he… if only I’d gotten there sooner! God Cindy can you ever forgive me?” Her voice trailed again.

“Sweetie it’s not your fault.” Brian whispered and I nodded.

It was sort of a pointless effort really. The woman seemed hell bent on blaming herself, but she couldn’t help it. Hank had a special talent for placing the blame of his actions on the people around him. Even I have blamed myself for countless arguments and beatings. When I wasn’t busy blaming my mother that is. Most of the time I blamed her. But I never felt as bad for my mom as I felt for the woman in front of me now. Maybe its because she seemed sincerely sorry. “You shouldn’t blame yourself.” I said, “That’s what Hank would want. Don’t you dare give that cold dead bastard the satisfaction.”

Leighanne looked up at me with wide eyes and Brian made the sign of the cross as if he were saying a prayer to the heavens. I guess they’re religious. Was I not supposed to talk bad about Hank cause he’s dead? Shit, I’m sure as hell certain there ain’t no fucking angels where he went so I figured it didn’t matter. “Look.” I said wanting to move on with the conversation, “The way I see it, you’re the one who got help. If you hadn’t brought the cops when you did, I’d be rotting in hell with daddy right now. The only thing I can blame you for is saving my life and I guess I should probably thank you for that.”

Leighanne offered me a weak smile and then wiped at her wet eyes. She started to calm down and that big beautiful smile was back on Brian’s face. These people were strange to say the least, but there was something about ‘em that I just couldn’t figure out. I was suddenly curious as hell and since the awkward silence was broken, I wasn’t nearly as scared of them as I had been. I don’t know exactly how to explain it, but even though they didn’t look familiar or sound familiar, they felt familiar. Somewhere in my heart I just knew that I was safe with them. These people were my friends. I let go a sigh and figured I’d just get it over with. “So, what’s up with that Howie guy?” I asked forcing a nervous laugh. “John doesn’t make shit up like Danny and he said something awful crazy yesterday.”

I saw a twinkle in Leighanne’s eye and knew I’d started something. “Maybe we should start from the beginning.” She said with a fucking giggle. Oh God what did I just get myself into?

Leighanne wasn’t kidding. She started telling me the craziest story I’ve ever heard. It started off like any other, Cindy meets city boy, city boy grabs Cindy’s ass, Cindy pummels the shit out of city boy… How that turned into Cindy dressed up like the fucking prom queen for a fucking ball, I don’t know. I mean she told me how, she even showed me my new hair color, I just couldn’t fucking believe it. The more she talked though, the more I started to feel better. It was nice knowing a little more about who these people were and how I supposedly knew them. I was even starting to like them. They were a little different from anyone I’ve ever known before, but they were kind of funny and strangely easy to talk to.

Unfortunately for me though, neither of them had been present for the few key moments in this epic tale. Like for instance, Brian was there on my birthday when Danny gave me a fucking Cinderella piñata (which I still need to kick his ass for, don’t let me forget.) but he left shortly after that so he doesn’t know what happened that made Howie come over the next day and announce that he’d met the one he was waiting for and then beg for advice because I guess I’d turned him down.

Then, both Brian and Leighanne had been there to witness that God-awful conversation where I told my best friend to get out of my life and quit my job. Between you and me I’m probably better off not remembering that, so for now let’s just pretend it didn’t happen ok? What was my point? Oh yeah, Howie. He’d witnessed my fight too and Brian said he chased after me when I’d stormed off. Fucking brave move on his part, I’ll tell you that much for him. It’s never a good idea to bug me when I’m super pissed. Especially when I’ve already turned you down once.

I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, apparently it took hours because he didn’t come back until nearly dark and when he did, Leighanne said he was on cloud fucking nine. I’d really like to know what happened there because Leighanne told me that Howie said he was falling in love, and Brian said in all the years he’d known him, he’d never heard Howie say that about a girl.

The whole situation was just weird, like it was love at first site or some shit. I don’t know about that, but he did seem pretty concerned for me yesterday. Part of me was dreading having to meet this guy and the other part of me was fucking curious as hell. I mean shit, Leighanne said I was fucking dancing with the man. I’ve never danced a fucking dance in my life so if I really was dancing with him then there had to have been something about him I liked. I’m not always a cold-hearted bitch you know. I’d love to find a good man as much as the next girl, I just don’t know that I could find him in a matter of two weeks in form of some short, apparently somewhat girly, city boy.

I didn’t know what to think. I hoped that everyone wouldn’t just expect me to run into this mans arms now that I was awake. He was after all still a fucking stranger. I know that Brian and Leighanne told me that I’d changed a lot over the last couple of weeks, but if I can’t remember those weeks, have I still changed? Or am I just the same old me I’ve always known that would rather fuck the brains out of that rock star looking guy and then still be home in time to get wasted and watch Millionaire? Would I even be able to give this guy a shot? Hell I doubt it matters, knowing my luck, this guy won’t even like me now. With a yawn I rubbed my eyes. “Fuck!” I screamed realizing that one of them was stitched up.

Brian and Leighanne both leapt from their seats and were by my side in an instant. “What is it? What’s wrong? Are you ok?” they chimed in unison. Talk about two people who spend too much fucking time together.

I couldn’t help the smirk on my face as I assured them I was fine. “It’s just my damn eye.” I said, “I’ll be fine, but I think I need a nap. Y’all have worn me out.”

“Yeah well, we can take a hint.” Brian laughed, “We should get going anyway. The guys took Baylee with them to the mall and I can only imagine what kind of things they’ve been teaching him.”

I chuckled and waved as they headed for the door. “Get some rest.” Brian ordered.

“And get better soon so we can go play again!” Leighanne added.

I nodded a silent promise and waved as they left. Once they were out of sight I laughed a little to myself. Those two were something else. I hope they’re friends were just as nice, although I have my doubts about whichever one I punched. I closed my eyes and my thought’s unexpectedly drifted to a dark pair of eyes and a sweet smile. I couldn’t believe it, but when I pictured the man Leighanne confirmed to be Howie, there was a smile on my face. Ok, so he wasn’t exactly my type, he was still kind of cute in his own way.

I tried my hardest to remember something about him, anything at all. The doctor told me that my memory might start to come back in bits and pieces and would most likely start in my dreams. I heard somewhere that a lot of times you dream about the last thing you were thinking of when you fell asleep, so as I drifted off to sleep I tried my hardest to keep myself focused on the man Leighanne referred to as my prince charming. It wasn’t too hard though because I was curious as hell about him. But more than that, I think I was hopeful. I wouldn’t dare say that out loud, but I kind of hoped that he was my prince charming. After all this shit I was going to need a break from my shitty life and God knows I could use a good man.

Chapter 20: A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

When I willed myself to dream about Howie I kind of hoped I would remember something that actually happened, but as I stood on the dock of the deserted lake watching Howie remove his clothes, I didn’t feel the need to complain. I know it was a dream and all, but damn can I imagine up a killer body! I was all ready for some kinky x-rated dream but then Howie took off running and dove into the water. He urged me to follow him so I stripped off my own clothes. I don’t know how I managed to conjure up such hot underwear though, I’ve never owned anything that sexy in my life.

Anyway, I followed him out to the middle of the lake where there was this floating platform and we just laid there. It was just like this picture Hal showed me of my mom once. It was a real lake, not too far from where I lived and I’ve always wanted to swim out there like that. I figured that’s why my brain had picked that location for my horny fantasy. Or at least I thought it was a horny fantasy, but just when I thought it was about to get good, Howie was suddenly dressed again. He was wearing a tuxedo and I could feel myself wearing heeled shoes as he pulled me into his arms. I took a closer look and realized that the dress was actually a fucking wedding gown and the shoes on my feet were glass fucking slippers! Just like the fucking real Cinderella!

Howie began spinning me around in circles and the moment we started dancing a song began to play. I didn’t know the song but my heart ached when I heard it. God the dream was so fucking real that I could feel his breath on me. I could smell his intoxicating scent and I could feel his strong arms around me. The moment was so perfect that even though I knew it was a dream I nervously anticipated the feel of his lips on mine. I knew that’s what he was about to do and I lusted after his kiss like I’ve never wanted anything more.

Howie leaned in to give me exactly what I desired and just before I could taste him a loud bell began ringing. We looked around to see where it was coming from, but it was like it was out of thin fucking air. As it continued to chime I recognized what I was hearing, clock bells. My heart filled instantly with fear although I’m not sure what I was scared of. I looked at Howie and he seemed sad. “It’s midnight.” He whispered and then blew me a kiss off his fingers. The clock struck twelve declaring the end of the dream causing Howie to vanish along with it. I suddenly found myself alone in the middle of the lake. “Help me!” I screamed, “Somebody help me! Howie! Howie where are you!”

“Nobody’s coming to help you bitch!” I heard a voice say behind me. “It’s just you and me now.”

I whirled around to see Pete standing in the exact spot where Howie had just been and he was practically foaming at the fucking mouth. “It was nice of you to get all dressed up for me princess.” He snarled.

I looked down and was no longer wearing a wedding dress but was back in nothing but my bright red bra and panties. I felt a chill run down my body as his eyes roamed. He took a step toward me and I wanted to run. I wanted to hit him, I wanted to fight. I wanted to rescue myself from this awful nightmare but I couldn’t move. I felt his hands on me and began to thrash. We struggled for a minute and I freed myself from his grip and fell backward into the cold deep water.

Suddenly I couldn’t breath and no matter how hard I swam I couldn’t get back to the surface. There was something holding me back. I looked down into the darkness below me and saw the dead body of my father trying to pull me into the very pit of hell. I screamed Howie’s name one last time as loud as I could praying that he might be able to save me, but as I screamed the water entered my lungs and I began to cough. I coughed and I coughed, and as I waited for death to take me suddenly I heard the faint whisper of a familiar soft voice. “Cinderella.”

It was the voice of an angel and I calmed down immediately. I was being called home. “Cinderella wake up.”

My eyes flew open at the command. I woke up in the hospital coughing violently. I couldn’t really breathe and I was a bit disoriented, but thank God it had only been a dream. For a moment there it seemed more real than I care to admit. In fact I was so completely drenched in sweat that I wasn’t entirely convinced I hadn’t been in that lake. I looked around though and sure enough I was lying in my hospital bed with no fucking lake in sight. “Cinderella? Are you all right?”

“What the fuck did you just call me?”

If I had the strength, I would have hit him, but it’s a good thing I didn’t. I snapped before I even knew who had rescued me from my nightmare. When I looked up Howie turned his gaze to his feet and shrunk away from my bedside obviously feeling like shit. Damnit! Not the best way to start things off, and after the way he held me in that dream I might just be willing to give it a shot. “I’m sorry.” He whispered sinking deep into a chair a good ten feet from my bed.

“No, look, I’m sorry.” I said starting to fucking back track. “I just, I really hate that name.”

The man gave a slight nod to show he understood but he still couldn’t look me in the eye. I don’t think it was because I yelled at him either, I think it was hard for him to see me. I felt really bad for him. I mean it must feel pretty shitty to be completely forgotten just when you thought you were going to live happily ever after. That just goes to show that you should never believe in fucking fairy tales. I had to do something though. I couldn’t just let him sit there like that. “Howie?” I asked.

I was surprised at how shy I sounded. When I spoke his name he looked up at me with a flicker of hope in his face. “You remember me?”

He seemed so desperate that it killed me to have to say no. I couldn’t get the actual word out so I shook my head and his face dropped once again. God it was fucking torture. “I just wanted to make sure it was really you. We haven’t actually been introduced yet.”

Howie shut his eyes and if I didn’t know any better I’d say he was pushing back tears. As if I didn’t feel bad enough? “God wait. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

I stumbled over my words because I didn’t have any idea how to make the man feel better. “Its ok.” Howie said mustering a weak smile.

I didn’t know what to think about this guy. He seemed shy and he was obviously sensitive. Well dressed, refined, and definitely from the big city. If I hadn’t heard Leighanne tell me over and over that he liked me, I would probably think the man was gay. Even straight though, he was the complete opposite of what I liked in guys. Leighanne used the term fate once and I laughed at her but after looking at this guy? It would take something as crazy as fate to bring us together.

“So, um I talked to Brian and Leighanne, and they said that you… well that we sort of…”

Howie’s eyes got real big and you could see the red in his cheeks despite the darkness of his complexion. “Oh no!” he gasped, “We didn’t do that! We were never intimate or anything. God I’m sorry if you thought-”

It hurt like hell to do it, but I laughed. “Shit hon, I wasn’t talking about sex.” I teased. “Although if we had it wouldn’t have been the first time I fucked a guy and didn’t remember it.”

I was relieved to see him finally crack a smile but I didn’t expect the, “I know.” That he muttered under his breath.

“What do you mean you know?” I asked curiously.

“Nah, it’s nothing.” Howie said trying to casually brush off his statement.

“That wasn’t nothing.” I said playfully, “That was anything but nothing. What the hell were you talking about?

Howie looked at me for a moment and then grinned like the fucking devil. I was kind of surprised to see it. It showed the confidence I’d yet to see in him. “You sure you want to know?” he teased.

Talk about the cat dangling the fucking cheese, of coarse I wanted to know! He was giving me a hard time now and I gotta say, it was kind of turning me on. Well it was either that or I was just remembering my dream. I couldn’t be exactly sure but I think he gave me that same playful smile right before he jumped into the lake. How could that have been possible though? It couldn’t be the same smile unless I actually remembered that about him instead of just making it up. I studied the look just a little too long and the awkwardness crept back into the situation. “What is it?” Howie asked sounding a little worried again.

“What? Nothing.” I said snapping from my daydream, “Now are you going to tell me which one of your friends I did the deed with or not?”

Howie laughed again. “How do you know I’m talking about one of my friends?”

“Come on, I know what I get like on my birthday. The only other people besides you that helped me celebrate it were Danny and John and since it didn’t go over so well the last time I slept with either of them, then it had to be one of you guys. You said it wasn’t you, so…”

“You’ve slept with both John and Danny?”

Ha! Like I needed to go there right now! Hmmm, I’ll take the avoiding the question road thank you. “I bet it was that sexy mother fucker with the earrings right?”

Howie laughed at me again, “Actually it was Nick.”

“He’s not the one with the earrings?”

“Earrings would be AJ. Nick is the baby of the group. Tall… blonde… a little obnoxious…”

“The one I punched? How the hell’d that happen?”

“Hal gave you a bottle of Jack for your birthday. There was a drinking contest and when you had to call it a draw you sort of got into an argument.”

“And that led to sleeping together?”

“Nick double-dog dared you.”

“He double-dog dared me? Jesus Christ am I fucking easy or what?”

“There was a lot of alcohol involved.” Howie laughed.

“There fucking better have been.” I laughed. Damnit I really can be a jackass sometimes. “So you’re telling me that after witnessing such a god awful display of public drunkenness you still asked me out?”

Howie shrugged. “I couldn’t help it. I think you’re amazing.”

Shit! Was I blushing? I don’t fucking blush. Then again, I don’t get called fucking amazing either. “I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, but I sure as hell ain’t never been called that. You sure there’s not a lot of alcohol involved right now?”

“Stone sober.” Howie laughed as he stood up from his chair. I felt my heart start to speed up a million miles an hour as he slowly made his way over to me. “You are this wild and crazy, strong, sexy, funny woman who could easily kick the shit out of me and yet when you let your guard down, you’re the most vulnerable, sweet, adorable woman I’ve ever met.”

Now that was a fucking speech, shit. I didn’t know people talked like that outside of TV. Howie was obviously caught up in the moment and he stared intensely at me as he sat himself on the side of my bed. He reached for my hand and I did everything I possibly could not to flinch when he touched me. I held my breath hoping that it would keep my body from shaking. I was scared. I didn’t want to tell him that, he seemed like a nice man and he did just say the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Fuck, I didn’t know whether to hide from him or kiss him. Instead I froze. He took my hand in his and began to slowly rub the back of it with his thumb.

I couldn’t take my eyes away from his hand on mine. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It’s not just that I need to use whatever brand of lotion that man uses, but more than just soft hands, it was the way he touched me. It was like he was trying to send the feelings that were in his heart through his fingers and into me. I could feel him staring at me but I couldn’t look up at him. I just watched him rub my fucking hand. “There are so many different sides to you and I can’t help falling in love with each and every one of them.” He whispered.

Considering I met this man, what, like ten minutes ago, I was a little fucking overwhelmed. I couldn’t stop the trembling in my body any more than I could stoop the moisture that was now gathering in my eyes. Howie realized I was crying and instantly pulled his hand away from mine to cover his mouth as he gasped. “I’m sorry.” He said, “Oh my god Cindy, I forgot. I’m so sorry.”

I gave him a confused look when he got up. “Maybe it’s best if I just go.” He said sadly.

Oh God it was awful. Howie felt like shit and I felt fucking confused. “Howie wait, you don’t have to go.” I said even though I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to stay or not. The truth is I was as scared of him as I was of hell but at the same time there was just something about him that I couldn’t turn away.

He stopped and looked at me again. “No.” he sighed, “I think I’d better go. I tend to get a little emotional. The guys give me shit for it all the time. I can’t promise I won’t say something like that again and it’s getting very hard not to kiss you.”

My face went white as a fucking ghost at his warning and yet all I could think about was how close he came to kissing me in my dream and how badly I wanted it. Howie took one look at my face and headed for the door. “Fuck Howie!” I yelled in frustration. He stopped dead in his tracks and whirled around. He was a little more than fucking surprised by my reaction. “You can’t just say something like that and then leave, shit!”

Howie came back to my bedside but remained standing and didn’t try to touch me. “I’m sorry.” He said, “I can stay if you really want me to, I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Then how about we lay off the declarations of love for a while and just talk. Why don’t you fill me in on what we did the day I got in a fight with Danny? Leighanne says we spent hours together.”

Howie’s eyes seemed to drift off into a memory. He smiled for a split second but it was quickly replaced with sadness. “What is it?” I asked.

Howie sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.” I joked softly.

“Look you said no more declarations of love and if I talk about that day at the lake, that’s exactly what you’ll get.”

“The lake?” I gasped. I was fucking stunned. Was it possible I didn’t make that up? Had we really been at the lake together? “What about the lake? Did we really go to the lake?” I asked.

Howie nodded slowly and I was so relieved at the thought of a memory that I immediately started crying. “What? Cindy what is it?”

“We went swimming.”

Howie was astonished by the suggestion. He didn’t answer. I guess I really didn’t ask a question but I still thought he might confirm it. God I hoped I hadn’t imagined it. I wanted the dream to be real so badly and the suspense was fucking killing me. “Howie!” I snapped pulling him from his shock. I didn’t mean to be rude but I was a tad bit emotional. “Did we fucking jump in the lake or not?”

“You remember.” He breathed.

He still hadn’t said yes or no but his answer was good enough for the time being. “I don’t know.” I answered truthfully. “I had this dream and we were at the lake and we swam out to the dock in the middle of the water and we just laid there.”

I would have been surprised by the tears in Howie’s eyes had I actually had time to respond to them. There were already plenty of tears in my own fucking eyes and before I could do anything Howie had cupped my face in his hands and was wiping my salted cheeks dry. “That’s right! You said you wanted to be happy like your mom so we swam out to the middle of the lake and just enjoyed the sunshine.”

I smiled through my tears clinging to the piece of the truth I had uncovered. Obviously the whole dream wasn’t real, but the piece of it that was, was fucking incredible. God the way I felt in that dream as I lied next to him was so powerful. The image still felt like a dream but the feelings were starting to feel more like memories.

I thought about how we began dancing in my dream. Since I was in a wedding dress I know that part wasn’t real but Leighanne said that we had danced. I couldn’t help but wonder if even though it was still at the lake, my brain was trying to remember the dancing. It’s not like I’d ever danced with anyone before so I couldn’t be remembering something else. The dream was too vivid. The way it felt, the way it sounded, the way he smelled, I couldn’t have made all that up. “And we danced?” I whispered.

“Several times.” Howie replied softly.

“But there was a song. I don’t know it but I would recognize it if I heard it.”

Howie smiled again and hopped up from the bed. He pulled something from a jacket and then resumed his place beside me. “Do you remember this?” he asked placing the object in my hand. The locket was fucking beautiful but I’d never seen it before. I studied it curiously. “I gave this to you the last time I saw you.”

“You did?” I gasped. I didn’t remember that, but shit I still almost wanted to cry. No one had ever given me fucking jewelry before, and this must have been expensive. Howie opened the locket and it began to play soft music in my hands. It only took a second or two for me to recognize the tune. “There was a song,” Howie said, “This song. On your birthday. It was the first song you ever danced to but you were so drunk you couldn’t remember. I got this for you so that you would never forget again.”

I couldn’t help the way I stared at the locket. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I noticed the engraving and had to fight off tears. This was almost like a fucking fairytale. Just what kind of a man had I stumbled upon here? The kind I’m pretty sure you don’t let go. Howie was waiting for some kind of something from me. I could tell that he was excited that I’d remembered something but he was still scared of frightening me.

I didn’t know what I was feeling exactly. I was scared but my heart was burning. It’s like my heart remembered what my brain couldn’t. I looked down at the hands Howie held in his lap. I had to know if what I felt in my dream was real. I ignored the pain I was causing my self as I sat up as straight as I could and my hands started to shake I was so fucking nervous. I’m not sure why, but I took Howie’s hands and gently pulled him close to me. He didn’t move except to follow my prompts. He leaned closer to me and I think I felt him shudder when I rested my head on his shoulder. I don’t know what compelled me to do that but I closed my eyes and buried my face deep in his neck. When I inhaled I instantly recognized the sweet smell. Howie slowly pulled me into a soft embrace and having his arms around me felt so familiar. It was just like I had dreamed. “I remember this.” I whispered as I let the water in my eyes roll freely down my face. “It feels safe.”

“You are safe.” Howie promised me.

Somehow I knew he was telling the truth. I knew he was going to keep me safe and I knew that somewhere inside of me I felt for him the way he felt for me whether I remembered what happened or not. There was just one more thing I needed to know. I pulled myself from his arms and looked into his eyes. Something about them was fucking magical. “Kiss me.” I asked shyly.

If I wasn’t so fucking nervous I would have laughed at Howie’s reaction to my request. I know he fucking wanted to more than anything, but he was fucking shocked. “Are you sure?” he asked.

God how cute was that? I’ve never been treated more respectfully in all my life. Kind of made me feel like a fucking lady. That, and seeing that he was as nervous as I was, actually made it a lot easier. I wasn’t scared of him as much as I was scared of how much I might like it. “It’s the only way I’m gonna know for sure.” I answered.

Howie still hesitated. “If you wait too long I’m gonna chicken out.” I said, “Please, just kiss me.”

Howie finally nodded and as he moved toward me slower than I ever thought fucking possible, my heart began to flutter. I was like a fucking 8th grader anticipating my first kiss on the fucking playground. I shut my eyes and felt the soft touch of his lips on mine.

I’ve kissed a lot of guys but never have someone’s lips touched me so delicately. You know when you eat cotton candy and it fucking melts when it touches your mouth? That’s what Howie’s kiss felt like except I was the cotton candy against his lips. It felt so good it was like fucking torture. Fireworks would be an understatement; the kiss was that fucking powerful. Howie started to pull away from me but I was so thirsty for him that I reached up and pulled him back cupping his face in my hands. He didn’t protest. In fact he actually deepened the kiss allowing his tongue to slide softly into my mouth.

I couldn’t believe what was fucking happening to me. Love at first fucking sight? That wasn’t possible, was it? My head was spinning and time was standing still. This was the moment that every girl dreams of her whole life. How the fuck did I get so lucky? Finally I let Howie go thought part of me would have liked to hold on forever and I shyly looked at me lap. He said nothing. “I’m falling in love with a fucking stranger.” I finally whispered after I’d caught my breath.
God that sounded sappy! I guess that means it must have been true. Love tuns everyone into big fucking saps. I blushed but forced myself to look back into those soft brown eyes. “I must be fucking crazy.”

“Yeah, it must be that severe head injury talking.” Howie teased.

“Smart ass.” I laughed and then Howie pressed his lips lightly to mine again.

Epilogue:

My memory of those two weeks didn’t come back all at once. It was bits and pieces here and there, most in my dreams like the doctor had said. It was never pleasant having to relive what happened to me in my nightmares, but at least I was recovering the good memories along with the bad. Eventually though, as the swelling in my brain went down and my overall physical condition returned to normal I got back every memory I’d lost. I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital, but I never spent a day of it alone. Howie stayed by my side the entire time. And as it turns out, I had a lot more visitors than I’d ever expected.

Danny and John of course came every chance they could and Danny and I were able to patch things up. He is my fucking best friend after all, and once he saw how much Howie meant to me he got over himself. He and Howie actually became quite good friends and Howie helped him and John land one of those pimp-my-car shows on TV. Now we get drunk and watch that instead of millionaire. We place bets on how many times they have to bleep their language every episode.

Then there was my mom. Imagine my fucking surprise when she showed up in my hospital room acting like a decent human being. She really opened up to me about my father though and admitted that killing him sobered her up permanently. She checked herself into rehab and has been rebuilding her life ever since. Hal visited her every day and fucking proposed when she came home. They got married in the damn bar. It was the only time in my life I was ever a fucking bridesmaid and I had to serve the drinks at the fucking reception. It was worth it though to see my mom truly happy for once in her life, and Hal was now legitimately the father he’d always been to me.

As for me? I didn’t move to Florida with Howie like you might have expected. When it came down to it I just couldn’t leave my home and all the people I’ve ever loved. So instead Howie surprised me with keys to our new fucking house when I got out of the hospital. The place is a fucking palace and yes I said it’s OUR house. The fucking city boy moved to Hanley fucking Kentucky to be with me and practically forced me to move in with him. I felt bad for uprooting him like that but he’s rich enough that we can visit his family whenever we feel like it.

I asked him about it once though and he said it was fine because Brian and Leigh were here and it was probably best to keep at least five states between me and Nick Carter. True we get along better than we did before “midnight” as we’ve all come to call the incident with my father and the perverted tow truck driver, who after his conviction will be spending the rest of his life as some guy named Bubba’s bitch, but between you and me? That cocky ass baby of the Backstreet Boys will always bug the shit out of me. Besides, Howie says the less time we spend together, the less chance there is of a repeat double dog daring match.

It’s been exactly two years now since the day this crazy story began making today my 30th birthday. And as I stand here floating in the middle of the fucking lake wearing a wedding dress so gorgeous that it could only have been picked out by my best friend and matron of honor, I find myself lost in the enchanting eyes of my very own prince charming. It’s a fucking fairy tale wedding fit for the one and only true Cinderella. I’m even wearing the glass fucking slippers to prove it. They were a gift from Brian who still refers to himself as my fairy godmother and probably always will.

So as I listen to the preacher pronounce us man and wife and Howie throws his lips on mine I find myself asking the question do fairy tales really exist? You bet your fucking ass they do!