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Chapter Sixteen - Drowning

"Yes," she said huskily. The word reverberated in my ears.

Ever so slowly, I brought my lips to hers. I could taste the wine off her sweet, supple lips. Her hand fell from my arm, wrapping loosely around my neck. I started off slow; it had been so long since my last kiss, that I was unsure of myself. Yet, as the rush of delicious passion began to course through my body, I remembered exactly what I loved to do. I pressed my lips hard against her own and grabbed a handful of her soft, blonde hair. I stroked it gently, the feel of it reminding me of silk. Rosie seemed to sense my urgency at the deepening of the kiss. She let out a sexy little gasp; the parting of her lips gave me entrance to her hot mouth. I slid my tongue slowly along her teeth and then deeper still; the action caused her to dig her nails into my neck, eliciting a deep moan from the back of my own throat. At that, her tongue pressed playfully against my own, rolling gently. The air temperature seemed to soar.

It was about this time that I realized I had a table in my way. I stood slowly, desperate not to break our kiss. Rosie's hands dropped from my neck. She slid out from the table and stood up, but her height put me at a serious disadvantage. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I sank onto the deck, pulling her down with me.

With her body against mine, I felt hungry. I felt alive. I pulled my lips from hers and trailed sweet kisses down her chin to her neck. I could still taste the body wash that she had showered with and I sucked greedily at her skin.

"Nick." Her breath came in short gasps; her hands wrapped around me and slid under my shirt. Her palm against my bare skin felt erotic. She moved her head then, my lips losing their place on her neck. She bit down lightly on my shoulder, her body wiggling against mine.

It may seem hard to believe, considering my reputation, but I had sworn off of every type of sexual activity after Lauren's death. It didn't seem important and besides, the celibacy had never once bothered me. Until now. In a matter of seconds, all of the years of inactivity came to a rushing boil. I felt myself harden the minute her teeth pressed into my shoulder. I could smell the sex. I pulled back, delighting in the way her teeth scrapped over the fabric of my shirt and rolled so that she was sprawled out on the floor. She looked up at me, her eyes darkened, her chest heaving. Her eyes drifted down my body, lingering just below my waist. She sucked in her bottom lip.

I pressed my hands along the base of her throat, beginning a journey to her shoulders. I spread my fingers wide, inching my hands along until I held the straps of her sundress. I held my breath as I pulled the tiny white supports down off her shoulders, my eyes trained on her chest. Inch by glorious inch the swell of her breasts became more apparent to the point where I lowered my head and nuzzled the loosened fabric. I quickly let go of the straps; my hands found their way to the soft sensuous mounds that fell from the dress. I squeezed them lightly, marveling in the way they felt before stroking her nipples lightly. They budded almost immediately. I took one, then the other in my teeth, flicking them quickly with my tongue.

"Oh my God," Rosie cried out. Her legs jerked and her hands lifted my shirt even more. I nudged out of it; as I did, I felt her firm thighs press into my sides. I pressed my left hand to her waist and I shifted slightly, my right hand sliding between her legs. My breath caught; I was surprised at how aroused she was. Her tiny panties were moist, quickly becoming more so as my fingers pushed the material down to her knees and I stroked her opening.

"Oh my God," she repeated.

"Touch me," I whispered.

I didn't need to ask twice. I sat back between her legs. She sat up and I pressed my lips to the top of her head as she undid my pants. Her hands slid around, pulling them down off my hips and ass. Her fingers looped around the waistband of my boxers and repeated the action.

"Oh," she exclaimed. I could hear the awe in her voice. I became light-headed in anticipation.

As her hand wrapped around my throbbing member, I let out a strangled cry. I had forgotten how good it felt to be touched. She stroked slowly at first, then faster and faster. My hands went back to her breasts.

"Slow down," I begged. It had been too long and I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold on much longer. Her movement slowed. I swallowed hard, grabbed her hands, and brought her back down. Her lips quivered slightly as I placed my hands on either side of her head. She arched forward, kissing me passionately. Her fingers made lazy circles around my navel; as I rubbed her thighs, preparing to enter her. In her eagerness, she reached down and stroked me one more time.

Unfortunately, it was one stroke too many. My body bucked; I felt myself let go, the thick liquid spilling out over her legs. I pulled away, staring down in mortification. Rosie sat up, staring down in surprise. She looked at me. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't."

I barely heard her. The world came crashing back down around me. What the hell was I doing? I ran a hand down my face, my chest heaving and my body drenched in sweat. I brought my shirt to her legs and began to wipe the mess.

It was a sign; I was convinced of it. I wasn't supposed to have sex ever again. This was my punishment. I couldn't even contain myself. I was like a stupid fifteen year old kid again.

My next thought was even worse. Tears burned behind my eyelids.

"Nick, no," Rosie said. "Don't do this."

She stroked my face, but I yanked away and scrambled to my feet.

"You don't understand," I said numbly. "I can't do this to her."

"Nick, you're not doing anything wrong. She's de--"

"Shut up. Just SHUT UP!" I screamed. My vulnerability was palpable. I could still taste Rosie's kiss on my lips. I felt her on my fingers. My chest constricted; I was seconds away from a panic attack. I grabbed my clothes.

"Please, let's talk," Rosie said tearfully. I avoided her gaze as I walked quickly to the hatch. I practically threw myself down the stairs. Once down, I flung my body towards the bathroom, closing and locking the door. I crumpled to the floor.

"I'm sorry," I moaned. "I'm so sorry Laur. God, I'm sorry," I bawled. Somehow, I managed to drag myself to the shower. For a long time, I sat there, my body folded up awkwardly in the small stall with the water pouring down.

I had cheated on Lauren.

And she was never going to forgive me.