"AJ, this is Rosie. Rosie, this is my boy AJ."
Rosie held out her hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you."
"Eh, fuck the hand," AJ said. Rosie's eyes widened, but before she could begin to overthink things, AJ hugged her.
"You're just as gorgeous as Nick said you were."
Rosie looked up at me. I smiled. "I might have mentioned it a time or two."
Her face lit up. I wrapped my arm around her, running my hand along her bare shoulder. The red sundress she wore provided a startling contrast to the blonde hair cascading around her shoulders and down her back. She leaned into me and for the first time since I had brought her home, I felt a tiny bit of hope.
The past few days had been rough. Lauren was everywhere in the house and I was often torn between the agony of guilt coursing through me and the everlasting ache in my heart that I couldn't shake. Rosie had been tip-toeing around my moods, but I could tell that I was having a negative effect on her normally bubbly demeanor. I also knew I wasn't being fair.
That's why I had kept my promise to AJ that when the weekend rolled around, I'd let him meet my 'mystery girl.' I was hoping that a night out would help loosen me up.
"So you ready to see some real California nightlife?" AJ asked.
"I'd love to," Rosie said. "But I've gotta warn you. You might not be able to pull me away."
AJ grinned at me.
"I like her."
I smiled and looked down. Rosie's bright salmon nailpolish contrasted horribly with the red sandals she wore. She bounced slightly from heel to heel. Excitement radiated from her. She was ready to become a Cali girl.
But all I could think about was AJ's declaration. I like her.
Well, J, I thought. I like her too.
And then some.
"So here's this scrawny short guy getting tossed outta the room in his underwear by Kevin. Now you gotta remember Kevin's about as tall as Nick is now and Nick was just this little shrimp. So, anyhow Kevin closes the door and Nick turns around and just starts pounding at it, yelling at the top of his lungs. I'm pretty sure he might have even wet himself a little."
Rosie laughed into her glass. She covered her mouth and looked at me. "They were really mean to you," she said. I could tell she was enjoying herself. Of course, I was too. The three Long Island Iced Teas I had downed were getting to me. I pointed a finger at AJ and smiled.
"This guy said he had my back. He didn't have my back."
"I was almost as scrawny as you! We were outnumbered! Besides, I had a bowl of M&M's and I really didn't want to be torn away from them. M&M's were my sex before sex became my sex."
"I don't remember anytime when sex wasn't your sex," I shot back. AJ smiled over his glass of virgin daquiri.
"Touche."
"So Nick's had a lot of girls?" Rosie asked. She looked between the two of us. AJ and I made eye contact.
"Well, not a lot of girls," AJ said awkwardly. "Maybe just a..."
"A lot," I interrupted. There was no reason to lie. One afternoon on Google would produce a laundry list of girls. It was the revolving Carter door. "Once upon a time I was horny, stupid, immature, and self-absorbed."
"Now he's just stupid," AJ quipped.
"Shut the fuck--" I began to say, but I stopped. Rosie's hand had found my thigh. Her little hand felt amazing. My body twitched slightly.
"Dance with me," she said. "Or I'll ask AJ."
If I hadn't been willing to say yes before (which I was), I was even more willing to get out on the dance floor once I saw the lust in AJ's eyes. I took her good hand and stood up, lifting her arm above her head.
"C'mon Flip-Flops, let's do it."
I'm pretty sure I heard AJ humming Rihanna's S&M as I led Rosie out to the floor. His humming eerily faded easily into the club's blaring version of Usher's DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love.
Rosie's fingers had a grip on my black t-shirt as we got to the dance floor. I laughed, tripping over my huge ass sneakers. She pressed her chest up against me.
"While you were in the bathroom, AJ said you had some pretty good moves."
"Did he now?"
"Mmm-hmm."
"Maybe back in the day..."
"Not now?"
The line between inhibition, depression, and enjoyment was narrowing as more of the alcohol hit my brain. I turned her around and pressed my groin into her back.
"Keep up...if you can," I said huskily.
Rosie might have been wearing flip-flops, but the girl kept up. And more. She lifted her arm and wrapped it around my neck as she shimmied, her dress floating back and forth right above her knees.
"Hey that's my boy, Nick Carter out there ya'all!" the DJ cried, breaking into the song for just a moment. I glanced up at the DJ booth in surprise. Lani gave me a thumbs up. I paled. I hadn't seen Lani since...
Since he was the DJ at my wedding.
"Dude, you should have plaster-cized yourselves and put a little miniature right on top of your cake. That's how perfect you two look today."
I laughed. "You're just saying that 'cause I paid you well."
"Bullshit," Lani said with a grin. "I'm saying that 'cause you remembered to have the waiter serve me some dinner."
"We'll get you liquored up too if you remember what buttons to press," Lauren teased. She nestled into my arm, her flushed face pressing against my white dress shirt. Lani leaned over the booth and slapped me on the shoulder.
"Best decision you've ever made man. Right here..."
"Nick...Nick."
AJ's hard voice jolted me back. Rosie had taken a couple of steps back, her eyes filled with distress.
"Dude, how often does this happen?"
"What?"
"You just froze. You look like you just saw a...a ghost."
I ran my hand through my hair. Lani was once again jamming to a record, but his eyes kept flickering over to me. Rosie took a couple steps forward and grabbed my arm.
"I think we just need to get some fresh air," she conjoled.
My senses were slowly returning. AJ was still watching me, eerily with the same look that Kevin used to give him when he stumbled into rehearsals high.
"You need to talk to someone bad," he said. "No matter what I'll get with you tomorrow. I promise."
Rosie tugged on my arm even as she gave AJ a warm smile. "Thank you," she said gently. "Nick, it's okay, c'mon..."
I felt like I was being a little kid led away from traffic by his mother as we wove through the crowds.
A ghost. That's exactly what was happening. All the familiar people and places were bringing Lauren's ghost out in full force. She was relentlessly playing on my mind, reminding me of the good times...
"Wait," I said as Rosie stepped towards the car. She paused.
"We're not going back just yet."
I had caught a big whiff of the surf coming off of the Santa Monica pier. It was almost midnight and it was a clear, cloudless night.
"What? Nick, what are you--"
"I want to go swimming."
"Swimming?" Rosie's eyes widened. "Nick, I'm not going to let you drow yourself."
"I'm not going to drown myself," I said. "I just need to go swimming. With you."
"My hand..."
"I'll go buy a million baggies," I said. I think she could tell how maniac and desperate I was. My face was probably screaming 'cuckoo!' as I rambled.
"Swimming? Okay, if that's what you need..."
"That's exactly what I need."
