Chapter 3

AJ and Nick go back to AJ’s house. As AJ looks around the house that Elaine had done such a beautiful job decorating, he tries to tell Nick what happened with Elaine.

“Well, man, when I met her, she was the designer I hired to decorate my house. As you can see, she’s good. Anyway, that first day, she was so damn beautiful, I just wanted her. Any other type of girl, I’d have screwed right on the bare floor that day, but she was different.” Nick nodded as if he understood, but let AJ continue.

“I asked her out to dinner that very day. I took her out and we had a good time. I lied out my ass to her, trying to hide the fact that I was high on coke. All I wanted was her. But it never happened.” Seeing a sadness in AJ’s eyes, Nick felt sorry for him. AJ’s addiction made him do stupid things. “We dated for 6 months, but I fucked around behind her back. She never knew because she trusted me. I don’t remember a lot of our relationship, but I do remember, at some point, I thought she was falling in love with me.”

Nick’s eyes opened wider when AJ said that, but still, he remained silent, letting AJ get it all out. “If I had been more lucid, I’d have probably not let it go so far. As gorgeous as she is, I was never her type. Like I said, I was out to fuck her and move on. It became an obsession, along with the alcohol and drugs. The last day I saw her, she had come over because I forgot we had a date. I had just taken a hit and was slamming back Jack like it was water. When she came in the door, looking good enough to eat, I lost my head. I don’t remember the details too clearly, but I remember trying to take off her clothes. She kept pushing my hands away and I got mad. I grabbed her and shoved her against the wall.”

Catching Nick’s gaze, AJ saw a mixture of sadness, sympathy and blatant rage in his eyes. Before Nick could say anything, AJ says, “Nick, man, I was so fucked up back then, I didn't know what I was doing. When it happened, it shook me man. I tried to say I was sorry, but all she did was tell me to get help before it was too late. The look on her face haunts me to this day, man. I can't close my eyes without seeing her. Chelle thinks I need to face her before I can move on. And she's right. Coming back to LA was part of my 12 steps. I have to apologize to her and try to make amends. I was hoping it would be a few days before I saw her. Tonight sort of threw me for a loop."

Nick says, "Yeah, I noticed."

AJ looks at Nick and says, "Dude, there isn't an evil or twisted bone in her body. She never would have used you to get back at me. That's not her." When Nick didn't say anything, AJ says, "She got to you, huh?"

Nick says, "Well hell, AJ, look at her! She's gorgeous."

AJ says, "I get it man, but she's more. You think she was beautiful tonight? Wait till you see her without make up and her hair down. Don't get me wrong, I love Chelle, and I'd NEVER cheat on her. But Elaine's got a way about her that will blow your fucking mind. I think Eva does too, but Eva's a wild child."

Chuckling, Nick says, "She was a little spit-fire, wasn't she?"

AJ says, "They are as different as night and day. Looking at them through sober eyes, I can see that Eva is more the type of girl I would date."

Nick says, "So now what, AJ? How do I apologize? It's a pretty good bet she's not going to want to talk to me."

Checking the time, AJ sees it's only 10:00. "Come on, Dude, let's go. She's a night owl. If Eva's not there, maybe we can talk to her, try to explain."

My doorbell rings and I think it's Eva again. I had just gotten out of the shower. My hair is still damp and I throw on a pair of sweats and a tank top, not bothering with underwear. Why should I? I'm just going to kick my sister out and have a long, lonely night. I open the door and almost fall over. Finding my voice, I say, "Umm, Hi AJ. Nick."

Nick stares at me, his mouth slightly open like he can't believe his eyes. Suddenly, I'm very self concious about what I'm wearing and what I'm NOT wearing underneath it. AJ breaks the awkward silence by saying, "Hi, Elaine. Can we come in? There's something I need to say to you."

Not really sure if it's a good idea, I step back and ask them to come in. I close the door and turn to face them. "What did you want to say, AJ?"

He rubs the back of his neck and says, "First of all, I'm sorry for everything that happened. I wasn't myself two years ago. I was living in an addiction and didn't want to get out of it. You were a victim of that. The last time I saw you was what made it clear to me what I had become and I hated it. I hated myself. I never wanted to be a person like that and I'm so sorry that it happened. I don't expect your forgiveness. I just want you to know I regret it and I'm so sorry."

I watch his face, more specifically, his eyes. They aren't the same as before. They are more clear and bright. And so sad. I can see he means what he says. Walking over to him I take his hand and say, "I understand AJ. I knew then but you wouldn't let me help you. I will forgive you but only if you forgive yourself."

He hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, "Don't blame Nick for what I did. He's a good guy and he likes you."

Pulling away from him, I turn to Nick. He clears his throat and says, "I'm sorry about what happened earlier. I jumped the gun a bit and I shouldn't have."

Giving him a timid smile, I say, "It's ok, Nick. I can't say I blame you. I didn't get a chance to explain about AJ. I was trying to when he walked up. I can understand why you thought what you did."

When Nick steps closer to me, AJ disappears into the kitchen. Nick takes my hand and has me sit with him on the loveseat. As he's drawing circles on my hand with his fingers, he says, "I'd really like to get to know you better. Will you still have dinner with me?"

Smiling shyly, I say, "I'd like that, Nick."

I look into his eyes and my heart skips a beat. I realize how close I am to leaning into him and kissing him and it startles me. And I can see in his eyes he's feeling it too. I start to turn away, but he stops me, putting one finger on my chin. "I won't push you Elaine. I won't pressure you. I just want to know who you are." When I don't say anything, he says, "You are so beautiful."

I blush, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, AJ comes back into the room before I totally lose my composure and do something stupid, like kiss him.