Chapter 4

                Howie made his way home after school, and started to make his way to the kitchen for a snack.

                “Your father is in your room,” Paula said as Howie set his bag down in a chair.

                How knew without being told what that meant and looked up at his mom, trying to see if that meant he was, in fact, in trouble for yesterday. He simply nodded when her expression didn’t offer any hints, then began to make his way upstairs. When he reached his room, he knocked softly on his door before stepping inside his own room.

                Hoke turned to look at his son, “Where is it?” he asked, pointing to the empty spot on the wall where Howie’s crystal usually hung.

                Howie looked at his dad and shrugged, “I unno… I dropped it yesterday…” he explained.

                “You dropped it?” his dad asked, his voice rising. “Where?” he asked, falling onto his knees to look around for it.

                Howie tried to relive the moment when it fell and could only shrug again. “I don’t know. I was playing with it-“

                “What do you mean you were playing with it?” He nearly shouted, grabbing Howie by the shoulders. “Where were you playing with it?”

                “On my bed…” Howie said, wondering what the big deal was. “It’s just a rock, I can find another one…” he said softly.

                “No, you will clean your room until you find it. It was a very special present given to you the day you were born, and you cannot lose it! Do not come out of this room until you have found it!” Hoke left the room, slamming the door behind him and started back downstairs.

                Paula looked up from her cooking and simply perked an eyebrow. “What did he lose this time?” she asked. She was used to Howie losing things- he was eight after all, and couldn’t be expected to keep track of everything. That was why she refused to buy him expensive gifts for his birthday and Christmas, she knew it wouldn’t last more than a week or so, anyway.

                “His crystal, the one over his bed?” Hoke said, trying to jog her memory.

                “Oh, the ugly rock on the leather string?” she asked, trying to clarify. “I’m glad it’s gone…” she said honestly. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to make it disappear for years now!” she chuckled.

                “Don’t say that… He needs to keep it,” Hoke said emphatically.

                “Why? I mean, if it means that much to you, we can just buy him a new one, Hoke… It’s not a big deal...” Paula said, trying to calm her husband down.

                “No, we can’t just buy him a new one, or find him a new one,” he said, taking a deep breath. “There’s something special about that stone.”

                “You say that every time we talk about it. What is so special about it?” she asked, urging her husband to sit down and talk to her.

                Hoke looked at his wife and realized he could no longer keep the secret of their son’s birth from her. He slowly sat down and reached for her hands. “I have to confess something to you, but you can’t be upset. Understand right now that everything I did was for you and our son…”

                Paula laughed softly, “Oh come on, Hoke. Whatever you have to tell me can’t be that bad…” she honestly couldn’t think what was so serious and what that damn rock had to do with anything.

                Hoke laced their fingers together, his thumbs playing across the palms of her hands. He drew a nervous breath, and then told her the details he could remember of their son’s birth. It had been a little over eight years since that night, and aside from the haunting dreams he had about it, he tried not to think of it, ever. He couldn’t bring himself to look his wife in the eye as he recounted all the details he could remember, until he was telling her about Ynes leaving the vile of blood with him.

                “I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it… but I still have it… and that rock…. That’s what we can’t lose…. I’m afraid of what will happen to Howie if we do…” he whispered, choking on tears, refusing to let them cry.

                “Wait…. You mean our son was dead when I delivered him? Why didn’t I know this?” she asked, trying to pull away from Hoke, but his hands tightened on hers.

                “Yes, he was… and she said something that made him come back… and you were so worn out… I was afraid I would lose you, too…” he whispered, “I’m sorry… I didn’t know what to do, I was so afraid of losing you…”

                Paula was finally able to loosen her hands from his grip and stood up without another word, turning to leave.

                Hoke’s shoulders sagged as he watched her walk away from him, feeling as helpless as he had been the night his son died.