The Truth Between the Lies

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 14

Jade

            I didn’t give any of them a chance to follow me. Just as I ran from the building, a cab was cruising by. I flagged it down, jumped in and said, “The Redbury.” Even though I hadn’t planned on staying there, I had a room, just in case Aspen didn’t want me at her place. I knew the girls would be mad that I didn’t tell them about my books. I never dreamed I’d be here because apparently my sister fucked around with the man I love.

            Once I’m in my room, I take off my clothes and jump in the shower. The water is so hot, I feel like my skin is peeling off, but I have to get the feel of Nick’s hands off of me somehow. How could I be so stupid as to tell him I love him?  I must be a fucking idiot!

            By the time I get out, my skin is blood red and tender.  I dry off carefully, pretending my tears are from the hot water and NOT because of Nick’s lust for my sister.

            My phone rings.  I figure it’s Aspen, wanting to make peace, but I’m not in the mood. I glance at my phone, surprised that it’s my agent. I answer, saying, “What’s up, Pam?”

            She says, “Why don’t your sisters know where you’re at?”

            I say, “Because I didn’t tell them. You didn’t, did you?”

            She says, “No, from the amount of shouting in the background, I figured you were better off alone. What’s going on?”

            I say, “Nothing. Not a damn thing.”

            She says, “OK, umm, Jade, are you all right?”

            I sigh, knowing what she’s asking. I say, “I’m fine, Pam. No bad thoughts, I swear.”

            She says, “Good. Remember…I’m a phone call away. So is Dale.”

            I say, “I know. And I’ll call him if I need to. For now, I just want to be alone.”

            She says, “One more thing…did you pick a photograph for the book?”

            I grimace then say, “No. I’m sorry Pam, I can’t…you decide, please. I don’t care. I just…”

            She says, “Jade? Jade! You’re scaring me. What’s going on?”

            Knowing I’m going to cry, I say, “I had a fight with Lilly, that’s all. Please, just take care of it, ok?”

            She says, “I will. Jade don’t do anything stupid, ok? Promise me!”

            I sigh and say, “Don’t worry Pam. I haven’t thought about doing…that…in a long time. I’m not going to think about it now.” After a few more assurances, I hang up. But I lied to her. It’s all I’ve thought about since I saw the look on Nick’s face when he talked about Lilly. The same thing I thought about before, when he left me for Paige. Now, he’s not only meeting Paige on Sunday, but he’s also got the hots for my sister. Why wouldn’t I want to die? What do I have to live for?

I try to push aside those thoughts, because let’s face it; I chickened out the first time. After taking all those pills, I called my best friend Dale. He took me to the ER then had me committed for thirty days. I came out the other side of it feeling better about myself and where my life was going. That was when I started writing Crash and Burn.  Funny how the heroine was suicidal. Maybe there was more of me in that book than I thought. But I won’t have a white knight to rescue me.  Nick doesn’t want me…not just me anyway. He wants Lilly too.

Shaking off the morbid thoughts, I grab a swimsuit and cover up.  Maybe a day by the pool will help me relax.

No such luck.  Half an hour into sunbathing and I hear, “Jade, is that you?”

I open my eyes to see Brian standing over me. I say, “Yeah, umm, how did you find me?”

He says, “I didn’t. This is my favorite hotel. Why are you here? I thought you’d be with your sisters.”

Part of me wants to cry. Another part of me wants revenge. Guess which part wins?  I sit up and say, “Not for a while. Why don’t you join me? Care for a drink?”

He sits and says, “Umm, sure.  But I shouldn’t have too much.  Big show tonight and I’m hoping to impress your sister.”

I snort and say, “Then don’t stand beside Nick or she’ll never see you.”

He says, “Umm, what do you mean? I thought you and Nick…”

When he trails off, I say, “Oh, me too. Until he told me this morning he’s attracted to Lilly and the fact that I’ve spent the better part of the last 10 years being his sex slave doesn’t mean shit to him. Or the fact that like a moron I told him I love him.”

He looks at me and says, “Whoa, wait a minute. One thing at a time.  Sex slave?”

I sip my mimosa and say, “Oh you didn’t know Nick likes to dominate his lovers? Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s good….all but the spankings.”

He shakes his head and says, “Lilly?”

I say, “I don’t know what happened, but I know something did. He gets this look on his face…actually the look he used to have for me. Odds are he found his way into her pants between the airport and Aspen’s.”

He shakes his head and says, “No, I don’t believe that. How could they? AJ was driving them.”

I slide my glasses down my nose and say, “Want me to show you how? I’ve been in quite a few backseats with Nick.” Before he can answer, I stand and take his hand, pulling him toward the pool. 

I jump in, pulling him behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face to mine. When our lips mesh together, I force my tongue into his mouth. He hands grab my waist, but before he can push me away, I slide my hand down his chest to the top of his shorts. I take my lips from his and whisper, “Trust me, you’ll enjoy this.”

When my hand slips below the waist band of his trunks, I’m not a bit surprised to find a semi-hard on.  I smile seductively and say, “Looks like you’re more into me than you want to admit.”

He says, “Jade…you’re a beautiful woman. I’d have to be dead not to react to what you’re doing.”

I smirk and say, “Let’s go to my room. I’ll give you a taste of what Nick’s had over the years.”

He stares intently into my eyes before saying, “Jade, no matter what happened between Nick and Lilly, if anything, you can’t let it take your sister from you. Nick didn’t know who she was. You can’t blame them.”

His words sink in and my heart skips a beat.  Tears well up in my eyes and I whisper, “But Brian…”

He hugs me close and says, “Shh…don’t cry Jade. Let’s go to your room and talk, ok?”

Once we’re in my room he says, “OK, tell me what happened.”

I say, “I told you, I’m an idiot. I messed up and told Nick I was in love with him.”

Brian says, “You really do love him, don’t you?”

I nod, feeling a single tear slip down my face. I whisper, “Last night was incredible Brian. Just like the first night. Then this morning, somehow we started talking about Lilly…the look on his face…” I stand and start pacing, raising my voice as I rant, “This is why I never told them about Nick. She always takes EVERYTHING from me.  It’s like she has to have anything I love. Even in high school.  Boys dated me to get to her.”

He says, “Jade, your sister loves you. They both do. You don’t really think…”

I nod and say, “Yes, I do. Even if he didn’t know she was my sister when they met, he sure as hell knows now.  Didn’t phase him a bit to tell me he wants to fuck her.”

Brian says, “Jade, did he REALLY say that?”

I sigh and say, “Not in so many words.”

He says, “Jade, listen. I’m attracted to you…but that doesn’t mean I’m going to sleep with you. Maybe that’s all it is, attraction.”

I sigh and say, “Maybe. But I can tell from the look on her face…the look on his. Something happened between them Brian.”

He looks down at his hands and says, “I hope you’re wrong.”

I close my eyes, feeling like a complete jerk for dumping all this on him. I sink deeper into my own despair and say, “I’m sorry Brian. Whatever happened between you and Lilly…well…I just hope I’m really, really wrong.”

Before he can answer, my phone rings.  I pick it up, not surprised to see it’s Dale.  I say, “Give me a second, Brian.” He nods and I answer my phone with, “I’m fine Dale. No need to come running to the rescue.”

He sighs and says, “Pam’s worried sick about you. What happened?”

I say, “Nothing I want to talk about now. We’ll talk when I come home, ok?”

He says, “Willow Jade, be honest with me. How bad is it?”

I sigh and say, “Pretty bad, Dale. But I’m not going to do anything stupid, I promise.”

He says, “You better not. Think about Calleigh.”

I sigh as tears sting my eyes. I whisper, “Is she ok?”

He says, “She’s fine. Missing you.”

I whisper, “Tell her I love her and I’ll be home soon, ok?”

He says, “I will. If you need me, call, ok? I don’t care what time. Just remember we’re here for you.”

After hanging up, he says, “Everything ok?”

I nod and say, “Yes. I think so.”

He says, “So, you’ll give Nick and Lilly a chance to explain?”

I nod and say, “I will. I’m so tired, Brian.”

He says, “Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll call and find out what’s going on.”

I nod and say, “You do that.”

Once he’s gone, I pick up my phone and call Dale back. When he answers, I say, “Can I speak to her, Dale?”

He says, “Sure, hold on.”

When I hear the tiny voice on the other end of the line say, “Hi,” my heart melts. 

Pushing all the sadness aside, I whisper, “Hey, Peanut, it’s Mama.”

Calleigh excitedly says, “Mama, Mama!”

It’s hard to have a conversation with a two year old. But just hearing her voice makes me realize I do have something to live for.  A precious 2 year old named Calleigh Amber Carter-Grey.  The only part of Nick that’s truly MINE.

By 10:00 am I’m wallowing in self pity. Not even thinking about Calleigh is getting me past this. When there’s a knock at the door, I assume its Pam. Sighing, I open it to find Lilly and Aspen.  Lilly looks indifferent, Aspen looks pissed. I start to close the door, muttering “Go away.”

Aspen grabs the door and says, “NO! I will NOT allow you two to ruin my birthday!”

Shame flows through me.  I hug her tightly and say, “I’m so sorry Red. I didn’t mean to…I never wanted to mess up your birthday.”

They come in and I go back to lying on my bed, curled up with a pillow.  Aspen says, “I think we need to clear the air about all these secrets here and now. Who’s going first?” When no one speaks, she says, “OK, then Lilly, you’re the oldest. We start with you. What happened with you and Nick?”

I close my eyes. I can’t look at her. Tears seep between my lashes when she says, “We just fooled around a little. Kissing and petting. It never went beyond that.”

I feel sobs welling up inside me and I can’t stop them, no matter how hard I try.  It was easy to pretend it didn’t happen when he was fucking other girls, but touching my sister?  As I bury my face in the pillow and let it all out, I feel a hand on my back. I hear Lilly whisper, “Jade, I’m SO sorry! I didn’t know…if I knew, I wouldn’t have… PLEASE, you have to believe me.”

I know she’s right.  I know she wouldn’t have if she knew. I sit up and grab her, holding on tight. I can’t stop myself from whispering, “Why can’t he just love me? What’s wrong with me?”

Aspen sits with us and we all wrap around each other.  God I’ve missed my sisters more than I wanted to admit. I’m aching to tell them about Calleigh, but not till I figure out what’s going on with Nick.

When the crying stops, Lilly sits back and says, “Twig, listen, I don’t love Nick. I never “loved” him. It’s just…attraction is all.  And honestly, after I met Brian, I don’t…see it with Nick. I’m sorry about this morning.”

I sniffle and say, “No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I poured my juice on your head.” Turning to Aspen, I whisper, “I’m sorry about ruining your birthday.”

She smiles at me and says, “You’re still here and we’re ok. It’s not ruined. Now, come back to the shop with us.”

Before I can say anything, there’s a knock at the door.  I sigh and say, “Probably Pam.” Imagine how it felt to open the door with Nick standing there, holding a bouquet of rainbow roses.  I don’t say anything. I just stare at him.

Finally, breaking the silence, he says, “I’m sorry Jade. I never wanted to hurt you. You mean SO much to me.”

I lower my eyes, not sure what to believe. He uses his fingers to lift my gaze back to him and he says, “Jade, don’t. Don’t do that. Talk to me.”

I step back and let him in. He stops short when he sees Lilly and Aspen in my room. I close the door and say, “How did you find me?”

He glances at them before turning his gaze back to me. I take the flowers, inhaling their fragrance as he says, “Brian called.”

I grimace and say, “Figures.”

Lilly says, “What’s Brian got to do with this?”

I move back to the bed and sit, saying, “He’s staying here too. He and I talked this morning.”

Nick says, “He’s worried about you, Jade. Are you ok?”

Aspen takes Lilly’s hand and says, “Come on, Lils.  Let’s give them time to talk.”

Lilly leans down and hugs me, whispering, “He is all about you, Jade. I love you.”

I sniffle and whisper, “I love you too.”

After they leave, Nick sits beside me and says, “Jade…I don’t know where we stand. You have to tell me.”

I force my eyes to his and whisper, “I love you. It’s that simple. Either you love me back or you don’t. I thought I could just go on being your plaything…but I don’t know if I can. It hurts too much when you…”

He looks away and I lower my eyes. I should have kept my mouth shut. Finally, he says, “I don’t want to lose you Jade. You mean more to me than any woman I’ve ever known. I just don’t know what I’m feeling inside.”

I lay on my side with my back to him and cry. By now, in my mind, it’s over. All I have left are memories and his daughter. When I feel him lay down behind me, my whole body shakes with sobs. He pulls me close and whispers, “Please, Baby, don’t cry. You’re killing me.”

I turn over to face him, pushing myself fully against him. I whisper, “Nick, is it so bad to think that maybe you could fall in love with me?”

He stares into my eyes for so long, I feel like I’m drowning in his. Finally, he says, “Jade, if I’ve ever loved anyone, it’s you. I just don’t know what love is. I don’t know how to show you that I only want to be with you.”

I pull his face to mine and say, “All you have to do is kiss me.”