The Truth Between The Lies

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 17

Jade

                Nick snuggles with me on my bed a few minutes.  I still feel like I’m chasing a dream with him. Why can’t I just stand up and walk away? Oh yeah, cause he stole my heart and broke it into a million pieces years ago.

            He strokes my hair and says, “Jade, I mean it. I do want to be with you. But you have to realize…”

            I pull away and sit up, saying, “I already do, Nick. Seeing you this weekend has been hell for me. I thought it would be fast.  See you at the concert, then at brunch tomorrow, and then you’d be out of my life again. I thought I could handle this.”

            I hear him stand up.  I close my eyes as he walks around the bed.  He kneels in front of me and says, “Jade, look at me.”

            I violently shake my head no, praying he’ll walk away. He grabs my face and in a gentle, but stern voice, he whispers, “Open your eyes, Jade.”

            When I do, once again I’m falling. He whispers, “Don’t. Don’t do that, I’m not worth it. Let’s take our time and see what happens ok?”

            I nod and whisper, “OK.”

            He smiles at me and says, “I don’t want to lose you Jade.”

            I nod again and whisper, “OK.”

            He kisses my forehead and says, “Listen I’m gonna go see if Brian will cover for me at sound check so we can hang out this afternoon.”

            I sniffle and say, “I can’t. I’m supposed to be at Aspen’s at 1:00.”

            He hugs me and says, “Listen…we’ve had a few bumps, but it’s ok. I promise you now, I have not and I don’t plan to sleep with your sister, ok?”

            I nod and say, “I know you didn’t Nick.” I stand and walk to the window.  I say, “Nick, we’re all adults. If...if you want her now, it’s your decision.”

            He steps up behind me and kisses the back of my neck. A shiver runs through my body when he says, “Now that I have you back, I don’t want her.”

            I put my forehead against the glass and close my eyes. That should make me feel wonderful, but all it means is that he did want her. And when I’m out of the picture once again, back in New York with my friends and my baby girl, he can be with her. That thought alone is enough to make me want to jump out the window.

            Instead I say, “I guess I better clean up and get ready to go to Aspen’s.”

            He spins me around and says, “Tonight, after the show? Can we…?”

            Deciding if it’s the last night I’ll have with him, I’m going to make DAMN sure he doesn’t forget me, I say, “What do you have in mind?”

            He smirks and says, “Tonight…I want to play.”

            After kissing me sensually, he turns and walks away, leaving me horny and heartbroken.  Then an evil smile plays across my face. He wants to play, does he? Oh, we will play. Only this time, we’re gonna play by MY rules.

            After a steaming hot shower and a somewhat teary phone call to check on my baby girl, I dress very carefully.  Skin tight, black jeans that ride low on my hips.  When I bend over, the string of my black thong peeks out the top of my pants.  I pull a silky, gray halter top from the closet that shimmers, and slip it on.  I briefly wonder if a bra is in order.  I look myself over and decide not.

            I slip on a pair of canvas KEDS for now, but take my strappy, 4 inch heels with me for the concert.  Nick won’t be forgetting ME anytime soon.

            When I get to Aspen’s, she’s giddy as she can be and Lilly looks like the poster child for the walking dead.  When we face each other, I’m not really sure what to say. Finally, she says, “Twig, I would never….not knowing how you feel about him.”

            I nod and say, “I know, Lilly Blue. I’m not really mad at you. Or him.  Just the situation. I’m mad at myself.”

            Aspen sits with us after turning on Mickey Mouse for Reese.  She looks at me and says, “Jade, why are you mad at yourself?”

            I sigh, realizing my sisters are indeed the rock in my life and it’s time they knew the truth. Well, most of it.  I look at my hands on the table and whisper, “After Nick chose Paige, I sort of went off the deep end a while.”

            Lilly says, “What do you mean, Jade? You stalked him? What?”

            I sigh and say, “No. I wanted to die.”

            Neither of them speak. I brave a glance at them to find horror on Aspen’s face and sheer rage on Lilly’s. She whispers, “You tried to…because of HIM?”

            I nod and say, “I was…not well. Dale helped me. If it weren’t for him and Geri, God knows where we’d be right now.”

            Aspen shakes her head and says, “Jade, WHY didn’t you come home? You could have stayed with me, got yourself back on track.”

            I sigh and say, “I spent a month in a facility.  I’ve had regular counseling sessions since then. I think writing Crash and Burn was sort of cathartic for me.”

            Lilly says, “Oh Twig, and here I am making things even worse.”

            I shake my head and say, “No Lils, this one is on me. I thought I had come to grips with it and gotten over him. I thought I’d only see him at brunch tomorrow and it would be done and I could move on with…my life.”

            Aspen says, “Brunch?”

            I chuckle and say, “My surprise for you. We were having brunch with them tomorrow. AJ wanted to meet ‘Lacey Shadows’. I couldn’t resist a chance to see Nick again…be close to him.  I guess I just didn’t realize that even with all the therapy, I’m still not over him.”

            Lilly says, “Jade…you need to slow down. He’s…he’s not the guy you think he is.”

            I nod and say, “I know Lilly. I know he’s not the guy most likely to sweep me off my feet and carry me away. He’s still got his mind on you.” I see her blush and I say, “Lilly, don’t. You’re beautiful. I’m not the least bit surprised that he’s attracted to you.” I glance at Aspen and say, “Red, can I talk to Lils alone, please?”

            She looks puzzled and says, “You’re not going to fight, are you?”

            I shake my head and say, “No. There’s something I think she needs to know and I’d really like to keep it just between us, ok?”

            She nods and says, “I’ll go take Reese a snack.”

            After she leaves, I turn to Lilly and say, “Lils, Nick’s had the hots for you for a long, long time.”

            She shakes her head in confusion and says, “What?”

            I sigh and say, “Nick and I…we used to do some pretty wild stuff. Role playing, if you will. We also…watched a lot of porn.” When the blood drains from her face, I whisper, “Lilly Blue, don’t do that.”

            She says, “You know?”

            I nod and say, “For a while. It’s how you paid for our education, isn’t it?”  She lowers her eyes and nods. I say, “Lilly, Nick loved to watch your work. I was…shocked to say the least, but…it was your choice. Just as…those pills were mine.”

            She grabs my hand and whispers, “If you EVER try that again, I’ll kill Nick.”

            Aspen comes back in and says, “Everything ok?”

            I nod and say, “Yeah. Just clearing up a couple of things. Now, let’s talk about AJ.”

            Aspen blushes and says, “Can we not?”

            Lilly says, “Hell no! AJ is Reese’s FATHER.”

            OK, I did miss something when I stormed out earlier.  My mouth drops open and I say, “WHAT?”

            Aspen blushes and says, “Yes, he is.  I got drunk and we had a fling. A one night fling that resulted in Reese.”

            I think about Calleigh. How I should just tell them. But I don’t.  Instead I say, “Why do we have so many secrets from each other? We never used to be this way.”

            Lilly says, “You’re right. We should just get it all out in the open and be done with it.”

            Knowing that Calleigh is going to be the secret they BOTH are gonna hate me for keeping, I say, “How about we enjoy Red’s birthday and brunch with the boys, then tomorrow afternoon we all come clean. About everything.”

            Lilly stares at me intently. She says, “I think you’re right, Jade. We DO have a birthday to celebrate!”

            Aspen pulls us all into a group hug and says, “We’re gonna be ok, right?”

            Lilly laughs and says, “We have to be. We’re all we’ve got.”

            Reese comes running into the room and says, “Mommy, Mommy where’s AJ?”

            I kneel down and say, “Reese, he had to go to work. But I bet he comes back to see you and Mommy soon.”

            She beams and says, “He pwomised. It’s Mommy birfday!”

            I chuckle and say, “So it is…I wonder if we should give Mommy a present?”

            She jumps up and down and squeals, “Mommy gets a pwesent!”

            I play with Reese while Lilly and Aspen dress.  Aspen comes out wearing black leggings and an oversized white blouse with heels not quite as tall as mine.  Lilly?  Lilly’s wearing a somewhat conservative pair of jeans and red blouse. Even though ten years ago, we’d have all been hot and ready for anything these guys threw at us, now it’s…it’s like a game of cat and mouse. Only I can’t figure out if I’m the cat or the mouse here.

            Before dropping Reese at a friend’s house for a sleep over, we give Aspen her gift.  A charm bracelet with three gemstones on it and a heart engraved with the word ‘Sister’.  There’s a sapphire stone for Lilly, a Ruby for Aspen, and Jade for me. I don’t know who cried more when she put it on, us or her.

            After repairing our makeup from the tears, we head out.  We drop off Reese and get to the venue about 15 minutes before the VIP check in.  I change my shoes and when we get out of the car, Lilly says, “Jade, are you TRYING to get someone’s attention?”

            I laugh and say, “Trying to give his memory a nudge, that’s all.”

            Aspen says, “I think you’ll be doing more than giving him a nudge.”

            Lilly laughs with her, then says, “Jade…I know you love him, but…I just have a bad feeling he’ll never really settle down.”

            I nod and say, “I know, Lilly. I’m not pining away for him anymore.” OK, that’s a big fat lie. If they only knew…

            Just as we’re heading in, my cell phone rings.  When I see its Geri, I hit the panic button.  I answer, saying, “Geri, is everything ok?”

            She says, “I’m calling to find out.  Dale says you’ve had a setback.”

            I sigh, wondering how my best friend’s wife can really stay objective as my therapist, but so far, she’s been able to do it.  I say, “I’m fine Geri. Just had an emotional moment, that’s all.”

            She says, “How emotional? What were you feeling?”

            I catch Aspen and Lilly watching me and I say, “Geri, I’m fine. I promise. I’m at the concert with my sisters so…can I call you tomorrow?”

            She says, “You can try. We won’t be home. We have a surprise for Calleigh.”

            I say, “What kind of surprise?”

            She says, “You’ll see tomorrow. For now, have fun.” After a pause, she says, “Jade, don’t go down that road again. I’ve told you if I think you’re a danger to yourself I’ll have no choice but to have Calleigh removed from your custody. I don’t want to, but…”

            I say, “Geri, it’s not going to get that far.  Ever. I can’t…that’s the one thing I CAN’T lose. I swear I’m not going down that road ever again.”

            She says, “Good. Talk to you tomorrow.”

            After we hang up, Lilly says, “You’re not going down what road?”

            I say, “I think that’s one of our secrets for tomorrow, girls. Let’s make this a night we’ll never forget.”

            We purposefully get at the back of the line for meeting the boys. I can’t help but feel my heart swell with pride at hearing the fans talking about the new ‘Lacey Shadows’ book about the Backstreet Boys.  Lilly and Aspen keep poking me, grinning.  I smile back, grateful to know my sisters are ok with my writing career.

            When we finally get into the ‘meet-and-greet’, AJ vaults the barricade and sweeps Aspen into a giant bear hug. I feel Nick’s eyes on me. I look at him and smile. The look in his eyes is one of complete lust.  He beckons me to him. I hold up my finger, asking him to wait, then make my way over to Brian, who’s standing alone in a corner, ignoring the shit out of Lilly.

            I walk up to him and gently slide my hand up his arm, mindful of Nick AND Lilly watching me.  I feel bad that I might be hurting Lilly. I should have warned her what I had planned. Keeping my voice low, I whisper, “You ok, Brian? You’re awfully quiet.”

            He looks at me, more specifically at my cleavage, and says, “I did something stupid.”

            I press up against him and say, “What did you do, Brian?”

            He says, “I was mad…and I let my temper goad me into doing something that really hurt your sister’s feelings. Now I don’t know how to fix it.”

            My plan goes out the window. I step back and say, “WHAT did you do to my sister?”

            His eyes meet mine and he says, “I really don’t want to discuss it with you. I just…I owe her an apology. I just don’t know how to…”

            I watch his face. I know he means it. I say, “Go talk to her Brian.”

            He nods, looking around.  She’s nowhere to be seen. He says, “I’m gonna go find her. Thanks, Jade.”

            After he walks away, Nick comes up to me and grabs my wrist. He whispers, “We need to talk…JADE!”

            I shake my head and say, “No we don’t Nick. Not now.”

            He says, “Oh, but we do. We really, really need to talk.”

            I look up at his eyes and say, “About what?”

            He says, “About how delicious you look. About how I’m going to strip off every stitch of your clothing and take you in every position I can think of.”

            Fighting the arousal building deep inside me, I say, “Who says you’re going to do that?”

            He pulls me behind a huge packing crate and slides his hands over my ass, pulling me hard against his body. With his erection pressed against my stomach, he whispers, “I say. Don’t you remember who’s in charge?” I slide to my knees and unzip his pants. He whispers, “Good girl.”

            I look up and see he’s not watching me close; he’s making sure no one can see us.  I reach into my back pocket and take out my first surprise for him. A penis collar. There’s a leash that goes with it, but I won’t need that. Yet. As I pleasure him, I slowly slide the leather around the base of his cock, locking it in place. He looks down, gripping my shoulders whispering, “What the hell are you doing?”

            I tighten it, not too tight…but enough he’s not going to have his erection too much longer, and say, “I changed the rules. I’m in charge tonight. Be a good boy and I’ll give you an extra special treat later.”

            His eyes smolder and he says, “Jade, I know I said I wouldn’t spank you again, but so help me, if you don’t take that off…”

            I giggle and say, “Maybe I’ll spank you, Nick. For now, you better zip up or I’ll put the leash on my new toy and we’ll go for a walk.”

            I hope he believes the bravado. I can’t believe I’m doing this…but I am. He says, “I’ll get you for this, Jade.”

            After he zips up, I put my arms around his neck and whisper, “It’s just part of the game Nick. If you don’t like it, I’ll take it off.”

            He kisses me deeply and whispers, “OH no, I’ll see it through. Then I get to have my fun. Deal?”

            I nod and say, “Deal.”

            After he walks away, I let out the breath I’m holding. I hope I can make it through tonight. If it is the last night I have with Nick, I want him to know exactly what he’s losing. A woman willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy. Including walking away.