The Truth Between The Lies

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 23

Jade

            OK, I was showing a LOT of bravado while we were shopping, talking about snaring ‘our men’. What a joke.  I now sit in Aspen’s car listening as Reese expounds on why she wants to look like AJ and my nerves are shot. Nick isn’t my man. Never really was.  I wish I could get past the loving him part and just consider him a sperm donor…but I can’t. Lost my heart to him a LONG time ago and I don’t see it coming back now.

By the time we get to the restaurant, my nerves are shot.  Pam is there waiting for me, handing me a bag. “Here, hot off the presses for you to give to your friends and family.” Lowering her voice, she says, “You ok?”

            I nod and say, “I am. Don’t worry.”

            She says, “They guys are running about fifteen minutes late, so go on in and have a cocktail. Or two. You might need it when your surprise arrives.”

            I say, “Surprise? What surprise? Pam?”

            She says, “I’m sworn to secrecy. Gotta jet. Have fun!”

            Fun? How the hell do I have fun? I’m going to be lucky if I put anything BUT alcohol into my stomach for lunch. When the guys come waltzing in, I watch my sisters and smile.

            I can’t help but notice how AJ’s eyes are glued on Aspen. When he hugs her, my heart swells with love for my sister. Maybe I won’t have to buy her a house…I’ll buy me a house and she can live with me till the wedding.

            Lilly?  Brian’s standing in front of her, holding her hand gently. She’s blushing like a school girl. LILLY? My heart aches hoping she’s finally found someone to settle down with.

I’m sipping on a Mojito and listening to Reese tell me all about her ‘tattoos’ when Nick arrives.  I feel his gaze on me, but I ignore, choosing instead to watch as AJ gets an earful from Reese about her tattoos.

            We’re ushered in to lunch where they seat me close to Nick. I look up to find him staring at me. When our eyes meet it’s like an electric current passes between us.  He gives me a timid smile.  I try to smile back but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. His brow furrows and he starts to say something, only to be interrupted by Brian.  “Jade, the book looks really good. I like the picture you chose.”

            After another sip of my drink, I say, “I didn’t choose it.  Pam did.”

            Nick grabs my attention and says, “Jade, we really have to talk.”

            I say, “About what?”

            Lowering his voice he says, “You’re kidding right? I have a child and you didn’t think I should know?”

            I gasp. “You did know!  I called you and told you!”

            He shakes his head. “I never got a call from you. Not after the last time we were together. Don’t lie to me!”

            I hiss vehemently, “I am NOT lying. Paige answered your phone. I told her I needed to talk to you and she said you couldn’t come to the phone. I told her about the baby, that I wanted you to know. I distinctly remember you saying ‘I don’t give a fuck’ so I assumed you didn’t WANT to know about the baby and I tried to let it go.”

            The blood drains from his face. “Paige? You told Paige?” I nod and he whispers, “She never told me, Jade.  I didn’t know.”

            Tears clog my throat. “Nick,” I whisper, my heart pounding. “Nick, I thought you knew…I thought she told you.”

            He closes his eyes. I reach out and touch his arm, not sure I can handle the contact, but he needs to know I’m here for him. When he opens his eyes, unshed tears are swimming in them. “Jade, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry about the way I treated you. I’m sorry about the things I didn’t see. I’m sorry you were alone.”

            I force a smile, whispering, “Don’t be sorry Nick. I can’t make you love me any more than I can make it rain. If it’s not there, it’s not there.”

            He reaches over, stroking my face, flinching when I back away. “Don’t do that Jade. I don’t deserve what you’re offering me. Until last night, I never knew…”

            I sigh and say, “Don’t Nick. This is a discussion we need to have, but not here. Maybe after lunch we can just…talk about it all.”

            He nods at me, opening his mouth to say more, but Howie garners my attention again. “I can’t wait to read the book, Jade.”

Genuinely pleased, I smile. “Thanks for being part of it. It means a lot to me that you all agreed.”

            AJ says, “Are you kidding?  I love it!  I wish I had been part of Crash and Burn.”

            Nick opens his mouth and says, “You were, AJ.  You were Andy, the good friend who kept telling Cody to get his head out of his ass about his gold digging girlfriend.”

            My eyes collide with his. He figured it out.  Crash and Burn was my story. The story of my life with Nick.  I knew from interviews after his very public break up with Paige that the guys had all warned him she was using him, but he didn’t listen to him. I lower my eyes, not sure how to respond.

            Howie tries changing the subject, but AJ’s like a dog with a bone. “What do you mean, Nick? How do you know…”

            Then it dawns on him what Nick is saying.  An awkward silence follows, only broken by the sounds from the restaurant outside our private dining room.  Finally, Lilly says, “Maybe we should order?”

            Nick reaches over and takes my hand. The room lapses into silence as I look up and meet his eyes. He whispers, “I’m so sorry Jade. I didn’t know.”

            I pull my hand from his and stand. I say, “Don’t. Please, don’t do this.” I look around the table and say, “I’m sorry I ruined everyone’s weekend.”

            I turn to leave but when I get to the door, I stop dead in my tracks.  Running at me under a full head of steam is Calleigh, followed closely by Dale.  Forgetting where I am and who I’m with, I step forward, scooping her up into my arms. She squeals, “MOMMY!” That sound alone makes my heart soar with love. 

            I lean back and say, “Calleigh…how did you get here?”  I look up at Dale and say, “Hey…why…when?”

            He says, “We were worried after your call. Geri’s at the hotel with DJ. He was fussy after the flight.”  Looking over my shoulder, he says, “Umm, Jade, am I about to get my ass kicked?”

            I turn to find Nick had followed me and is watching us.  My heart stops beating as his eyes land on Calleigh. She’s playing with the collar of my dress.  Without looking away from Nick, I say, “Dale…maybe you could go to the hotel?” Dragging my gaze away from Nick, I look at him and say, “Tell Geri I’m ok. I’ll be there later.”

            He kisses my cheek and says, “Just remember we’re here for you.”

            I smile at him and say, “You always are.  Thanks Dale.”

            After he leaves, Nick walks over to me.  Calleigh stares at him as he stares at her. “DADDY!” She leans toward him and he looks like he’s going to faint. His gaze meets mine and I say, “She’s seen your picture. She knows who you are but not sure she understands what it means.”

            He gingerly takes her, oblivious to the stares we’re getting. He catches a passing waiter and says, “Is there somewhere private we can talk for a minute?”

            He nods and leads us to an empty banquet room. After the door shuts, Nick says, “Jade, I don’t know where to begin.”

            I say, “Don’t. I don’t know if I can do this now, Nick.”

            He says, “We have to Jade. You had my baby.”

            I close my eyes. “Nick, I really thought she told you.”        

“She didn’t Jade, I swear. Do you think so little of me you’d think I’d ignore my own child?” He snorts and says, “Of course you do. I mean, after all, you did write Crash and Burn about me, didn’t you?  Cody was me. The guy who used the leading lady for sex and left her hanging so she swallowed a bunch of pills?”

            I swallow hard.  “Nick, it wasn’t like that.”

            His anger dissipates as Calleigh turns and leans toward me.  She scoots onto my lap and lays her head on my shoulder. He takes a deep breath saying, “I know it wasn’t. I’m sorry Jade…I’m just in shock.”

            I reach over and slide my fingers across his hand.  When he squeezes them, I feel assured. “I’m sorry Nick. I’m SO sorry.”

            He lifts my hand and places a gentle kiss on the back of it.  “I’m glad you found someone Jade. Does he make you happy?”

            Confusion lights my face? “Found someone? What are you talking about Nick, I’m not with anyone.”

            He says, “The guy who brought her…”

            “A really good friend. His wife is my therapist.”

            I see his body relax and relief wash over his face. “Oh thank God, I thought I lost my chance.”

            I shake my head, confused. “Chance? What chance?”

            He scoots his chair closer to me and whispers, “My chance with you. Jade, I put you through hell and I have no right to ask you this, but please, give me one last chance. Please!”

            I mull it over in my head as Calleigh leans toward him again.  He gingerly reaches out and pulls her away from me. She puts her hands on his shoulders and stares at him forever before she slides her arms around his neck and lays her head on his shoulder. He hugs her tightly, staring at me. I can’t help but cry. He whispers, “Jade…she’s…beautiful.”

I smile brightly. “Calleigh Amber.”

Calleigh leans back and he looks at her. He whispers, “Hi Calleigh Amber.”

She giggles and plants a big, wet kiss on his lips. I want to laugh at the expression on his face. He looks back to me and says, “Jade, don’t leave me again, ok? We have to talk. About everything.”

I stand and say, “I know. Come on, Aunt Lilly and Aunt Aspen need to meet Calleigh too.”

He looks shocked as he stands beside me. “They didn’t know either?”

I sigh and say, “No. I made so many mistakes Nick. I should have told them. Should have made Paige let me talk to you. I shouldn’t have given up.”

With Calleigh still perched on his arm, he pulls me against his side and says, “Don’t. Let’s start over, ok?”

Feeling dazed and confused, I whisper, “Can we?”

Looking into my eyes, he says, “You tell me.  Are you willing to give me one last chance?”

            The door opens.  Lilly and Aspen come in, Lilly saying, “Jade, are you…” She sees Calleigh in Nick’s arms and tears fill her eyes. 

            I point to them and say, “Calleigh, look.”

            She looks at Lilly and Aspen, trying to decipher who they are. Finally, she reaches for me. When I take her she hides her face in my neck, and says, “Mommy.”

            I laugh and say, “Look, it’s Aunt Lilly and Aunt Aspen.” 

            She peeks again and smiles, but doesn’t move from my neck.  Lilly says, “Oh Twig, she’s so CUTE!”

            Calleigh lifts her head and hugs me tight.  I say, “Calleigh, want to go see Aunt Lilly?”

            She says, “Want Daddy.”

            I chuckle and turn, letting her slide into Nick’s waiting arms. Aspen says, “She knows?”

            I say, “His picture is in her room. She knows he’s ‘Daddy’ but doesn’t know what it means.”

            Lilly says, “You ok?”  I just nod.  “Bring Calleigh in. Everyone’s tripping trying to figure out what’s going on.”

            I hug them both and say, “Give us a minute, ok? This is…not easy. He didn’t know.”

            Lilly pales. “What?”

            I shake my head. “She didn’t tell him. He found out when you told him on the phone. He’s a bit…we’re both shell shocked.”

            Aspen says, “That little bitch.” She looks past me to Nick. “Are you ok, Nick?”

            He smiles at her, hugging Calleigh closer. “I don’t know yet. I’ve been a fool for so long.”

            Lilly says, “Yes, you have.” Blushing, she continues, “Sorry about the phone call. I just don’t want Jade to be hurt again.”

            He nods, his gaze finding mine once again. “I think I’ve hurt her enough Lilly. I think it’s time I reminded myself exactly WHY I kept coming back to her.”

            I can’t stop myself. “Why did you, Nick?”

            He says, “You let me be me. You didn’t ask anything of me, even though I’d have given you everything. You meant…you MEAN the world to me Jade. I don’t know why I keep fucking up like I do.”

            I know Lilly and Aspen leave, but I can’t look away from him. I step closer and say, “Nick, I’m afraid.  Every time I give in and open my heart, you run.”

            He steps closer to me and says, “I don’t want to run Jade. I don’t know if what I feel is love…I’ve never been in love. I want to learn about love. From you. Will you just give me a chance?”

            Calleigh lays her head on his chest and smiles at me.  My heart melts. I put my hand on her back and look up at Nick.  “Yes.”

            He leans down and gently kisses my lips. When we part, he whispers, “Don’t let me fuck this up, Jade. Please. Teach me what love is.”

            I smirk and say, “First lesson, we don’t use the f-word in front of Calleigh. She likes to repeat.”

            He grimaces and says, “Sorry.”  He pushes Calleigh away from his body so she’ll look at him. He says, “Want to meet Daddy’s friends?”

            She giggles and falls over on his shoulder. He hugs her with one arm, pulling me against his side with the other. He kisses the top of my head as I lay against his chest, praying, “Please God, let him fall in love with me.”