Penny
"Can I see him now?"
"Who?"
"You know who!"
The nurse, the one with the big boobs, smirked. "I. Need. The. Name. Of. The. Patient. You. Wish. To. Visit," she said, enunciating every fucking word. I pressed my hands on the counter and leaned over, purposely getting in the bitch's face.
"Howard goddamn Johnson." I held out my shirt. "The guy who's blood is all over me."
It was either a miracle or just a sad state of laziness on Nick's part that he had never changed his fake name since the last time we were together. If he had, I wouldn't have been allowed past the throng of fans that were constantly clustering by the ER entrance every day. Whoreface typed something into the computer. As she waited she twisted a strand of her hair around her finger. Finally, she let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry, his family is still in there. They're the only ones being currently allowed."
"But he hates his family," I argued.
The bimbo smiled at me like I was four. "In times like these, animal-osity is usually forgotten." I snorted. "You've got to be shitting me, right? This has got to be some kind of candid-camera prank. Animal-osity? Seriously?"
She looked at me and I knew no one could fake that much confusion. But before I could rip her head off or ask to speak to the doctor, my cell rang. Her hand was immediately in my face.
"Gotta take that in the approved cell area," she said, shooing me.
There were not enough words in the English language to describe how I felt at that moment. I marched to the 'approved' cell area and sank down on the couch. I hadn't slept; my eyes felt like they weighed a thousand pounds.
"Hello?"
"Where are you? Ron's about ready to have a stroke. One of your authors is making all kinds of demands and--"
"Clo, I'm at the hospital."
"Are you kidding me? Get down here!"
"I can't! Nick...he..." I couldn't form words. My eyes were transfixed on the blood stains. The damn tears threatened to pour again.
"Penny, babe, you know I love you and I know you feel bad that he's not well, but look at the big picture."
"You haven't seen him," I argued. "He's so scared and he really is sorry about the past. He begged me to stay with him last night and--"
"And as soon as he's well you'll be yesterday's news again."
"It's not like he's just scraped his knee," I snapped. "He needs a friend."
"A friend?" Clo repeated. "Last I saw on the news he has tons of friends."
"He almost died last night," I croaked.
Silence filled the line.
"No he didn't."
"Yes, he did." The scene unfolded in front of my eyes. The tremor, the coldness of his skin, the blood. "His body rejected the meds. His nose started bleeding and it just wouldn't stop. They had to put a tube in his abdomen. If I hadn't been right there he would have, would have--"
"Pen, I'm sorry. God, I just sounded like the biggest asstwat."
I couldn't help it; I began to sob. "I know I'm stupid, but I still love him. Yes, I've wished he was dead before, but I never meant it. There's got to be a reason why we keep getting back together. There's got to be a reason why this happened on the night when someone was with him. God doesn't really want him to die. He doesn't, right Clo?"
"Right babe," she said quietly. I knew she would have agreed to anything I was blubbering. "Listen, I'm going to tell Ron that you're sick. If I throw around the phrases 'menustral cramps' and 'blood clots the size of quarters' he won't say another word."
I lifted the shoulder of my shirt, the only area still clean, and wiped my face with it. "I owe you."
"Naw, you don't. Just tell Nick I'm thinking about him."
"Thank you," I whispered. "I'll call you later."
"Okay, bye babe."
"Bye."
I hung up and leaned forward. My stomach growled. I hadn't eaten, but I didn't think I could eat even if I tried. My thoughts were back in the hospital room. I wondered if Nick was awake and almost hoped he wasn't. I'm sure if he knew his family was there he'd flip out. I slid down to my knees and pressed my hands together.
Another prayer couldn't hurt.
"Excuse me," I said a few minutes later. "Is Howard Johnson's family gone yet?"
An older nurse had taken over at the desk. She typed the name in without the third degree.
"His brother left about five minutes ago to pick up his sister and his mom went down to the cafeteria. The doctor's in with him now. And you are--"
"I'm his..." I trailed off. Friend? Girlfriend? Fuck buddy? Serial dumpee? "Fiancee."
"Oh," her eyes filled with sympathy. "I'm so sorry," she hit the button that would let me back to the ICU rooms. "Go right ahead, honey."
I nodded in gratitude and headed through the doors into the extremely sterile hallway. I didn't know what had made me say that. Sure, it had been true once for all of twenty-four hours, but I hadn't even gotten a ring and Nick had been drunk and--
"I don't want them allowed back in here."
"Mr. Carter, I understand that this is all a little overwhelming. I'll make sure we get a nurse in here to talk to you about revising your acceptable visitors list but right now we need to talk about exactly what needs to happen."
"Can we start with what happened?"
I hovered outside the door. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it. I heard the scrape of a chair. The doctor must have taken a seat.
"Your body rejected the medication last night. Your diagnosis has been moved to another level of severity. We had no choice but to insert a tube into your peritoneal cavity."
"I don't even know where the hell my whatever cavity is--wait, lemme guess. It's the area where this tube is sticking out. Holy shit."
"I know that it's unsettling, but it's the least evasive procedure that we could have done that will still give you a chance to continue on with your normal life. You don't have to physically go anywhere for dialysis, you can drain it yourself, and the process can be done during your sleep cycle."
"But you said that my best chances with the transplant was to avoid dialysis."
"Mr. Carter, it couldn't be avoided. If we hadn't acted like we did, you would already be dead."
Nick didn't answer. I was gripping the doorframe so tightly I thought my knuckles would break. Unable to take it another second, I knocked and opened the door a crack. Nick's face was pale and filled with pain, but when he saw me he smiled.
"You weren't a dream," he said, his voice filled with relief.
"Ah, we meet again," the doctor, I think he had introduced himself as Dr. Gutman, said. He pointed my way. "This is the lady that saved your life."
Nick struggled to move even slightly. He held out his hand. I walked slowly towards him, acutely aware that he was staring at his own blood on my clothes.
"You've given new meaning to Last Night You Saved My Life," he said as I drew near. He took my hand; his was ice cold.
"I told you! You're not going to die," I said, trying to inject some lightness in my voice. He closed his eyes, already exhaustion.
"Don't tell my family that," he mumbled.
"You'll break their hearts. They're already dreaming of what to do with my money."
"No, they're not."
His lip twitched.
"Stick around. The fireworks are only just beginning."
