Chapter 9 I Should Have Told You This A Long Time Ago

As the months went by I missed Nick more and more. I did have a boyfriend for a little while but it didn’t work out between the two of us. And I was starting to feel left out. Each of my friends had significant others, Kyle and Melissa were talking about getting married after graduation the next year, Kasey found his soul mate in Trish, and Kim and James just got married. I was Kim’s maid of honor and I was so happy for her. She looked absolutely beautiful and over all happy. James was perfect for her and they truly did love each other. I know it’s horrible to say but I was jealous of my sister and her new husband. Heck I was jealous of every couple I saw at that wedding. I was the wall flower that night because my boyfriend broke up with me to be with another girl the night of Kim’s rehearsal dinner. I wasn’t having the best luck with relationships while the people who were closest to me were happy and in love. I remember looking at my grandparents dancing together and just thinking to myself, “Will I ever find someone to spend the rest of my life with?” I was starting to doubt that I would never find my soul mate.

I dated a few more times but no relationship wanted to last. I was feeling lonelier as the days went on. I was also missing Nick more and more. I called Nick on a weekly basis but I wanted to talk to him in person. He was so supportive of me when I called him up after every break up, which was often. It was always so comforting to hear his voice but if he was home I knew I would have been able to call him up and he would be over at my house in a split second just to give me a hug and tell me face to face that everything was going to be alright. I wanted him home. I wanted to have that feeling of being held in his arms. I wanted my best friend back.

Finally I was able to see Nick. My best friends and I went to the Boys only concert in Florida and like Nick promised he got all of us backstage passes. The concert was amazing and it was even more packed than the last one. Michelle, Crystal and I were getting a kick out of the way Chris and Dan’s girlfriends’ were acting. They nearly passed out when we went backstage and they kept repeating, “Oh my god we’re finally meeting the Backstreet Boys. Oh my god we’re finally meeting the Backstreet Boys! I think I’m going to cry! We’re finally meeting the Backstreet Boys! You are so lucky you guys actually know them!”

My best friends and I laughed at them. We were excited to see the Boys again but these girls were flipping out and it was hysterical. Dan and Chris had to drag their girlfriends out to the cars when they had to leave.

A half hour after the guys left Michelle, Crystal and their boyfriends left leaving me alone with BSB.

“How you holding up there Kalie?” Nick put his arm around my shoulder. I had called him the day before the concert telling him once again that I broke up with another boyfriend. I guess he also saw the loneliness in my eyes. I tried to hide it but sometimes it seemed like Nick was the only one who could pierce through the outer wall I put up and read what was going on inside.

“I’m alright. Just…”

“Lonely,” he finished for me.                  

I nodded my head and felt tears starting to swell in my eyes.

“Come here Kayl.” He hugged me and whispered in my ear, “There are plenty of fish in the sea. You won’t be lonely for long. You’ll find someone I promise. And you know that I’ll always be there for you no matter what. I love you Kalie.”

“I love you too Nick. And I miss you so much!”

“I know how you feel. I miss you too,” he rubbed his hands soothingly up and down my back. I cannot describe how great it felt to be hugging him again. I wanted to stay like that. I didn’t want him to go back on tour. I wanted to be selfish and keep him here in Florida but I knew that wouldn’t happen, couldn’t happen.

“How would you like to come back to the hotel with us and chill for a while?”

“I would love to Nick but I have to get back home. I have a paper that’s due on Monday.”

“It’s only Friday night. And you can stay with me tonight and you can go home in the morning.”

“Ok. I’ll stay. I’ll just have to start on that paper the moment I get home.”

“There you go. Come on we’ll leave for the hotel now. And I’ll lend you one of my shirts and sweatpants to sleep in.”

“Thanks Nick.”

“No problem.”

That night was fun. I shared a room with Nick and Brian. Most of the night we talked about random things and then I was dying of laughter when Nick and Brian were fighting about sleeping in the same bed after Nick gave his bed to me.

I went to sleep with a smile on my face that night because Brian and Nick made me feel like I had someone I could turn to. That was when I said to myself, “Yeah you are lucky for knowing the Backstreet Boys. Hell you’re lucky your best friend is Nick Carter.”     

The next Friday, Ryan stopped by for a quick visit. It was really nice to see him again and we had a lot of fun just hanging out together.

When the day got hotter we jumped in the pool. After a few minutes of swimming Ryan asked, “Would you like to go out on a date with me tonight?”

“I would love to.”

“OK then how about I pick you up at eight tonight? I’ll take you to this really nice restaurant that’s right across from this pretty little park. After we eat we can take a walk around the park. It’s really pretty at night. They light up all the water features. And I bet you’ll look gorgeous in the starlight.”

I felt my cheeks blush, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Great. I’ll be back at eight. I have to go home and make the reservations and clean up.”

“I’ll see you at eight then.”

“I can’t wait.”

“Me neither Ryan.”

Once he left I ran in the house and called Michelle and Crystal.

“Ryan finally asked me out!”

“Really?!” Crystal exclaimed.

“Took him long enough,” Michelle commented. “When and where are you going?”

“We’re going out tonight at eight and he’s taking me to a restaurant and then we’re going to walk through a park after dinner.”

“That sounds cute!” Crystal said. “You must be excited.”

“I am. I just hope this one is going to last longer than one week.”

“You never know Kayl,” Michelle said. “Well I have to go back to work and you, little missy, have to go get ready for your date tonight!”

“Yeah Mich is right I have to go back to work too. Have fun tonight Kay.”

“Yes have fun and don’t worry about the future just yet hun,” Michelle advised.

“Thanks girlies! I’ll call you in the morning to give you details. Bye lovies!”

“Bye Kalie!” my girls said together then hung up.

I rushed into my room and picked out what I wanted to wear. I must have ripped out all of my outfits before I decided on my blue halter top and black leggings. My hair was still wet from my shower so I crimped it and ran hair mousse through it to keep it in place. I threw on makeup and my black sandals and waited on my porch for Ryan. 

He looked very cute in his white collared shirt which he left the first few buttons undone and his dark jeans. And he was such a gentleman. He was being really romantic too, well as romantic as you can get on a first date. Ryan was pretty old fashioned when it came to dating. I really liked that about him. Most of the other guys I dated took things quickly and to be honest I think that’s why the relationships never lasted. All my feelings for Ryan flooded back to me as the date went on.

After he paid the check we linked arms and walked through the park.

“This is beautiful out here!” I said as we walked through the section of the park with the lit up water features.

“Wait until I take you to the soccer field. But first how about we get some ice cream?”

“Is there a place that’s still open?”

“Yeah. It’s right around the corner.”

“Oh ok.” He led me to the small ice cream stand and bought a cup of vanilla to share. He then led me over to the soccer field. There we sat on the lush, soft grass and gazed up at the stars while we shared the ice cream.

“This is really pretty out here. I’m glad you brought me here.”

“I am too. I was right…”

“About what?”

He looked into my eyes and replied, “You do look beautiful in the star light.”

“You’re too sweet,” I smiled as I spoke.

“Thanks. I try.”

“I should have told you this a long time ago Kalie.”

“Tell me what?”

“I have had feelings for you ever since your sweet 16. I was just too chicken to act on them.”

I was in shock, “Really?”

“Really. And I was hoping it’s not too soon to ask you this but,” he paused and took in a deep breath, “will you be my girlfriend?”

My eyes widened but I smiled, “Yes I’ll be your girlfriend!”

“You will?! You don’t know how happy you just made me Kayl!”

He drove me home a few minutes later.

“Good night Ryan. I had a really good time tonight. Thank you for being such a gentleman.”

“It was my pleasure Kalie. Good night.” He kissed my forehead and waited until I got in the house before he drove off.

That night went perfectly. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect first date. And as time went on Ryan and I got closer and closer to each other. Our feelings for each other grew to the point of, dare I say it, love. I started to find it hard to function without him during the day if I didn’t see him in a while. He really did care about me and love me. He made me feel like my bad luck streak was over and I started imagining what our future together would be like. He made me feel so special and just simply loved. Plus he was really hot!

He and I had something special between us and by the beginning of 2000 we were thinking about moving in together. I was starting to think he was going to be the one I spent the rest of my life with. And then my friends and siblings started to bug me about him.