Chapter 19 Don’t Do This Kalie

It was finally New Years. I hadn’t seen Nick since Christmas dinner before he left to spend the night with Paris. I held Christmas at my house that year and it was packed. I had my parents, my friends and their families, my dance team, Ryan, Nick and his siblings, Mama Carter, and of course Paris. I really didn’t want to have her there but I had no choice.

But now my friends and I were going over to a house Paris was renting to bring in the New Year.

I have to admit that we were all having a great time. Paris wasn’t that bad. But still, my friends and I agreed that it sounded like nails scratching down a chalkboard whenever she talked. Even Nick’s siblings said her voice annoyed them. His sisters also agreed with me that they were taking their relationship a little too fast.

“The countdown is on!” Aaron yelled. We grouped to the tv and counted down to the New Year as the ball dropped.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!” everyone exclaimed then, following tradition, partnered up and kissed. Everyone had someone to kiss, everyone that is except me. Ryan decided to go to his sister’s party because he knew he wouldn’t be welcomed around my friends which I didn’t understand because he had a good time with everyone at Christmas.

My heart was a glass figure that someone just knocked from its display case and left the broken pieces scattered all over the floor. I could feel tears swelling up in my eyes as I watched Nick and Paris kiss passionately. I tried to look away but I couldn’t.

Finally I was able to pry my eyes away from that disgusting scene when someone surprised me with a kiss on the cheek.      

“Happy New Year Kalie. I love you,” someone said shyly and sweetly to me.

I turned around and found Aaron grinning at me. “Oh thank you Aaron! I love you to bud and Happy New Year!”

“Thanks Kayl.”

“That was really sweet of you to give me a New Year’s kiss,” I kissed his cheek to return the favor. He blushed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Don’t mention it. You’re like an older sister to me and I felt bad that you didn’t have anyone to kiss tonight. And since I don’t have anyone to kiss I said, ‘What the heck. A peck on the cheek won’t hurt the both of us’.”

I giggled and hugged him, “You’re a good little brother Aaron.”

“Hey…” he hugged me back, “I try.”

Lucky me, I stayed the night instead of driving home by myself. I bunked with Leslie, Angel and BJ in the room next to Nick and Paris’s. It’s a really good thing BJ, Leslie, and Angel all consider me to be an older sister because we were squished into one bed. The couch was available but nobody wanted to sleep on it. Besides we were use to sharing a bed; whenever I would sleep over Nick’s house I always shared a bed with one of his sisters, it was like old times again.

We had talked for a while and were drifting off to sleep when we started hearing noises from Paris’s room.

“They are friggin disgusting!” Angel covered her face with her hands.

“I can’t believe they have the nerve to actually do this while we are here,” Leslie shook her head.

“I can’t believe how rushed this relationship is,” I said rolling my eyes at the noises.

“Oh Nick always does this,” BJ commented.

“Since when?!” Angel and Leslie exclaimed at the same time.

“He’s done this with the last two girlfriends he’s had. Where have you two been?”

“He’s told you?” questioned Leslie.

BJ shook her head, “No I figured it out.”

“I thought Nick was going to be different,” sighed Angel.

“Me too. I never thought he would become the “rock star” type,” I said forlornly.

“He’s a guy. What do you expect?” BJ answered.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right,” I rolled over on my side, “Happy New Year sisters! Sweet dreams.”

They all answered, “Sweet dreams Kay.”     

January went by quickly. Before both Nick and I knew it, it was the 28th.

I worked with Paris and coordinated a surprise party at my house. Everybody was there; friends from high school Nick hadn’t seen in a long while, his band mates, his siblings, and his family. My house was so packed that it was hard to move around. It was like Christmas again. I knew my house was small but I never knew how small it was until all those people squeezed into it.

“Nick’s coming! Everybody quiet,” the doorbell rang and I picked my way to the door. “Once you see him just scream surprise.”

I opened the door and Nick stepped through, “Hey Kayl. I’ve missed…”

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK!” everyone yelled.

Nick’s eyes became wide with surprise then he smiled. “Damn guys! I didn’t expect a thing! You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“Yes we did Nick. It’s your birthday,” I replied as I hugged him.

“Awe thanks Kay. Did you put all of this together yourself?”

“No,” Paris pushed her way in between us. “I helped too.”

“Well then thank you too sweetie,” they kissed and I rolled my eyes.

Paris only came up with the idea and agreed that it should be held at my house. The only thing she was in charge of was making sure that they came on time. I was in charge of buying food, sending out the invitations, cleaning my house, setting up the party, even baking the cake. Paris had no real part in this party but still she was taking credit for what I did.

I lived through the party thanks to my girls and the Carter siblings. We were making fun of how Paris was all over Nick during the whole party. She was hanging all over him even in front of his parents. Could she have shown some common curtsy?

“Kylee,” Paris walked up to me.

“You pronounced my name wrong Paris. It’s Kalie not Kylee.”

“Oh what ever, where’s the cake? I think it’s time to serve it now.”

“It’s in the boot room.”

“Well could you go get it?”

“You asked where it was.”

“Do you have to be so difficult?”

I raised my arm ready to slap her. Crystal grabbed my hand, “Come on Kay. Let’s go get the cake.” She pulled me into the boot room. Michelle followed.

“Kayl take a deep breath,” Michelle instructed.

“Oh I just want to leave a nice five star on her face! She is such the stuck up, snobby, bitch!” I said through gritted teeth.

“No Kalie you don’t want to do something you’re going to regret,” Crystal warned.

“Yeah Kay,” Michelle spoke up. “You don’t want Nick to be mad at you now do ya?”

“No. But still I can’t stand that bitch! I want to show her that I’m sick of her!”

“Let me do it then!” Michelle said excitedly. “That way you won’t get in trouble and I’ll say the message was from you!” That’s Michelle for ya. She knew how to make me laugh. She was half serious and half kidding but she and Crystal knew how much I disliked Paris and they knew I was serious about leaving a good ole five star on her face covered with expensive make up.

I grabbed the cake and headed toward Nick who was talking to Chris and Daniel.

“Here let me take it to him. You start the singing,” Paris ripped the cake out of my hands and looked at me again. “Well what are you waiting for?”

My hand turned into a fist but Crystal stopped me again, “Come on Kayl let’s just harmonize and sing Happy Birthday to our best friend and then let’s put on a smile. Mich start us off.”

Michelle started the harmonizing and Crystal and I joined in on our correct notes. We started singing Happy Birthday and Paris sauntered over to Nick with the cake. Everyone else joined in and at the end of the song Paris handed Nick the cake and said seductively to him, “Make a wish birthday boy.”

Nick grinned a naughty little smile, “I think you know what I’m going to wish for.” He blew out the candles.

I walked up to them and held my hands out, “Hand it over. I’ll cut the cake.”

“Thanks Kylee,” Paris said mockingly.

“Paris honey, her name is Kalie,” Nick noticed the look on my face as I took the cake.

“Oh she doesn’t mind me calling her that. Right Kylee?”

“Oh not at all Pearis,” I said on purpose. She rolled her eyes at me. I wanted to shove the cake in her face.

After I cut up the cake I grabbed two pieces and headed back toward Nick. Paris was sitting in his lap and they were making out.

Lovely thing to do in front of all these people, including your family and the girl whose heart is breaking because of you and mostly her. I thought to myself. I cleared my throat and they stopped. Paris looked up at me annoyed.

“What?” she answered crossly. “Couldn’t you see we were busy?”

“Sorry that I interrupted you guys to give Nick the first piece of cake,” I gave an attitude right back to her.

“Thanks Kalie.”

“You’re welcome. Paris here’s your piece.”

“Oh I don’t want it. I only eat cakes from bakeries. I never eat home baked things. They always taste funny.”

I could feel the steam escaping from my ears. I glanced at the piece of cake in my hands then back at Paris who was feeding Nick his piece of cake like he was a baby. He just turned 22 he could feed himself.

My girls were helping me pass out the other pieces of cake and Crystal walked passed me and whispered so only I could hear, “Calm down. Don’t do something you’re going to regret.”

I answered quickly so only she could hear, “Be assured I won’t regret it.”

Chris saw the angry look on my face and spoke up as he realized where I was going to put the cake, “I’ll take that piece of cake Kalie thanks.” He carefully took it from my hands and took a bite of it. “Kayl this is amazing!”

“Thanks Chris.”

“Kay I am in heaven right now!” Nick exclaimed. “My two favorite girls threw together this awesome party for me, my best friend baked my favorite cake, and my best girl fed it to me. This is the greatest birthday I’ve ever had!”

“I’m glad I made it so special honey,” Paris crashed her lips against Nick’s and I walked back into the kitchen with my girls.

“I’m glad I made it so special honey. Let me just throw my tongue down your throat in front of all these people, especially Kylee and make it even more special,” I mocked Paris as Michelle cut me a piece of cake and handed it to me. “She makes me so sick!”

“She makes all of us sick,” answered Crystal with her mouth full.

“Getting off the Paris subject,” Michelle interjected. “This is an awesome cake Kay.”

“Thanks. It’s one of my grandma’s recipes and Nick’s favorite.”

“I thought I was the baker girl!” Crystal laughed.

“It looks like you have competition here Miss Crys!” Michelle laughed.

“No she doesn’t. She still makes the best cookies, and brownies and cannolis.”

“You do have a point there,” Michelle agreed.

After the cake was finished most of the guests left. It was just me and my girls and Dan and Chris cleaning up the living room as Nick and Paris “talked” in the kitchen. I was lucky my friends helped clean up because it would have taken me forever. We got the house cleaned up then I said my good nights to my friends.

They said good night to Nick and Paris, afterward Nick came to talk to me.

“Kalie can I ask you a big favor?”

“What is it Nick?”

“Paris and I both are not up to driving back home so I was wondering…”

“If I could drive you guys?”

“No. I don’t want you to drive us home then drive back by yourself at this time of night. I was wondering if we could stay the night.”

“NO! I don’t want her here! You can stay but not her!” I was about to scream out but I restrained myself, “Sure you can stay. The guest room is yours.”

“Thanks hun,” he grabbed me into a hug. “And thank you so much for that party. And baking that cake for me. You are the best friend a guy like me could ever ask for and I’m so thankful that you are my best friend. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I leaked out a lie, “It was actually pretty fun planning the party… and I found out that baking that cake was fun too.” The cake part wasn’t a lie.

“Thanks again babe. Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ok Nick. Good Night and happy birthday.” Nick showed Paris into the guest room and I headed to my room next to it.

“I can’t believe they are doing it here in my house. She really is a slut,” I said aloud to myself as I tried to fall asleep that night. It was impossible because the noises coming from the guest room penetrated the walls and boomed into my ears. I buried my head under my pillow but the noises just got louder and more disgusting.

“Oh Nick!” Paris gasped.

“Sshh, Kalie is in the room next to us. We have to be quiet,” Nick informed her.

“I don’t care! I can’t be quiet with you!”

This is just great. I rubbed my throbbing forehead. Can my life get anymore fucked up?

Right then and there I just wanted my life to end as the noises continued. I threw back my blankets and headed for the kitchen. I snuck past their room but I stopped when I heard Nick say, “I love you baby.”

Paris replied hurriedly, “I love you too now keep going.”

My eyes dropped depressingly to the floor as I continued my journey into the kitchen. I felt like I was a zombie as I was half asleep. I opened the drawer and pulled out a knife. My hands and knees started to shake so I pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. I held the knife in my right hand and I flipped my left hand over so I could stare at my wrist. My eyes darted from my wrist to the other hand holding the knife. It was shaking violently.

Should I really do this? I don’t think my heart will ever mend. It hurts so much!

I slowly raised the knife. It felt like it weighed a ton. It hovered over my wrist then I felt something rest on my shoulder. I jumped but the knife and my wrist stayed in place.

I looked over my shoulder and found Mark staring down at me. He stared into my eyes. He was at the party too and was sleeping over because we had to practice for an upcoming competition the next morning.   

“Don’t do this Kalie,” he said calmly. He didn’t even have to ask why I was about to slit my wrist, he was the only guy I told about my mixed feelings. I didn’t even tell my brothers or Chris and Dan. Mark wrapped his arms around my shoulders and whispered into my ear, “You are stronger than this! You have a family that loves you, your friends love you, I love you Kalie and you have so much to live for. Everything would fall part if you take your life. And it may not seem like Nick cares right now but he does. He would be distraught without you babe. A lot of us would be devastated without you. Please don’t do this.”

I dropped the knife and started to shake violently as tears leaked from my eyes. Mark quickly embraced me.

“It’s ok Kayl. I’m here for you. I’ll always be there for you because I love you and you’re my best friend.”

“Thank you Mark. I love you too and I’m really lucky to have you as a best friend.”

“Come on you need to get some sleep so we can practice tomorrow.” I was still shaking so violently that I couldn’t move. Mark picked me up and carried me up to my room.

He placed me gently in my bed and actually tucked me in.

“Please try to get some sleep. I’m going to sleep in here tonight in the window bed so you won’t get any ideas.”

“You don’t have to Mark.”

“Yes I do. Let me grab the blankets from the bed down stairs and I’ll be right back. And I’ll be mad at you if you’re not here when I get back.”

He flashed a smile at me and I laughed.

“I’ll be here,” I grinned back.

“Good!” Mark walked out the door and returned quickly with the blankets.

He set up his bed and said to me, “Good night. And remember you’re my best friend.”

“And you’re my best friend Mark. Good night.”