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Author's Chapter Notes:

Nick gets pissed.

Chapter 11 I’m Tired Of Your Shit!

            A week went by without talking to Nick and I have to say that it was pure torture. I had dove into this deep state of depression that was masked by work for only a few hours of the 7 days that seemed to drag on endlessly. I turned my working hours into a masquerade ball. I put on a smiling mask that hid the unending pain I kept in my heart.

I got a new cell phone after smashing the old one against the wall when I stupidly ruined my relationship with Nick. Once I got home from the Verizon store I sat down and called him.

            His phone rang and rang until the answering machine picked up.

            “Hey it’s Nick. Can’t talk right now so you know what to do after the beep,” I heard his voice and almost burst into tears.

            I didn’t leave a message. I figured I shouldn’t because I was mad. I was mad that he didn’t answer me but I was angrier at myself for breaking up with him in the first place. So I tried again and again in ten minute intervals but I still kept getting his answering machine. My constant calls continued for two hours until finally I gave in and left a message.

            “Nick, it’s me. You probably don’t want to talk to me and that’s understandable. I just called to tell you that you won’t have to call a cab to take you home from the airport when you get back into the states because I’ll be there to pick you up. I was hoping too that we could have possibly talked things out. I really wish I knew the words to say to make this better. I pray that you’ll forgive me. It’s very difficult not hearing your voice every day. I can’t believe I did this to us. I’m sorry.”

            I hung up the phone then started thinking about what he might say in the airport, if he would talk to me at all. I feared the worst. I feared that he would scream at me, “Why should I waste my time with someone who doesn’t really want to be with me?!” I feared that he was going to kick me out on the streets with nowhere to go. So that night, before I went to bed, I started packing my clothes. I also thought about where I could go if Nick didn’t want to see me ever again. Everyone who knew about the mistake I made, my best friends and immediate family that is, told me that Nick and I would fix this mess but assured me that their doors were always open just in case.

            That night I talked to Rochelle one last time before she had to get ready for the airport the next day.       

            “I’m so stupid Rochelle! I ruined everything Nick and I had! Everything!”          

            “Kalie, sweetie, you two will fix this.”

            “How do you know? What if that was my last strike with him? What if he won’t take me back?”

            “He will.”

            “I doubt it. Besides he’s got Marcy.”

            “No he doesn’t. Marcy is just an annoyance to him. She keeps pestering him to forget about you and hook up with her but he keeps shooting her down, kind of viciously I might add. She just won’t take a hint. She must be blind because she can’t see that he still loves you. Your hand must hurt because you’ve got a tight grip on his heart girl.”

            I chuckled slightly, “You really think so? You really think he still loves me?”

            “I don’t think so… I know so.”

            “Then why isn’t he calling me? I tried calling him the other day but I kept getting his answering machine. I left him a message but he never called me back. Is he really mad at me?”

            “He just wanted to leave you alone for a little bit at first. Then he called you a few days ago but your phone must have been off because it went straight to voice mail. I asked him earlier today if he heard anything from you but he said no. He’s very depressed Kalie.”

            “Can you please tell him that I wasn’t ignoring him? I threw my phone against a wall after that night because I was mad at myself. I can’t tell you what got into me but my mind wasn’t right. I want to take back everything I said to him that night. I would do anything in the world to be his girlfriend again.”

            “Be there at the airport then.”

            “I’m already a step ahead of you. I’m going to be there.”


            “But I don’t know what to say to him.”

            “Well you have a night to think about it. And don’t worry too much. I’m pretty sure Nick will take you back in a heartbeat if you ask him to.”

            “That’s what I’m praying will happen. I better let you go get ready for your day of traveling tomorrow.”

            “Ok Kalie. Have a good night and a good day at work tomorrow. I’ll see you at the airport.”

            “See ya there. Have a good day.”

            “Good night Kalie.”

            I plopped onto Nick’s bed and put on his gray sweat jacket.

            “I might as well be comfortable the last night I sleep in this bed. I wish it wasn’t empty though,” I said aloud to myself. I traced my finger over Nick’s face in the picture frame sitting on the bedside table. I let out a sigh then kissed the picture, “I love you Nick. I just wish I could say that to you instead of your picture.”

            The words I had said to Nick that horrible day played on a constant loop over and over again in my sleep. I kept waking up and sobbing over them. If only I could turn back time and go with Nick in the first place, none of this would have happened.

***Nick’s Point Of View***

            “Who is it?” I asked when I heard a knock on the door of my suite.

            “It’s Bruce. You all packed Nick?”

            “Yeah you can come on in. You have the extra key right?”

            The door opened, “Yes I do.” My bodyguard took one look at me lying on the couch and questioned, “Did I just wake you up?”

            “Yeah. I was trying to see if I could get any sleep before the plane ride so I won’t have a bad case of jet lag.”

            “Oh I’m sorry Nick.”

            “That’s ok man.”

            “We have to get your bags to the bus then turn in our room keys.”

            “Alright the bags are in the closet. I only have four. We can each take two.”

            Bruce and I dragged my bags out to the bus. We threw them into the cargo hold then turned in our room keys.

            The drive to the airport took about half an hour and we all got some sleep on the way there. I dreamed of me taking a cab home from the airport and walking into an empty home. In my dream Kalie just up and left without trying to fix our relationship or even saying good bye.

            “Nick go get your bags. We’re at the airport,” Bruce shook my shoulder waking me up.

            We filed out of the bus and into the airport. Security surrounded us as we checked in our bags and stayed with us until we boarded our privet jet. I took my seat in the middle row of the plane. I was the first to enter that row so I took the window seat. I sat alone for some time while everyone was boarding the plane until Marcy sat next to me.

            “Oh great,” I thought to myself. “Just the person I wanted to sit next to.”

            “Hey Nick,” she said innocently. “I heard about you and your girlfriend. Sorry about that.”

            I didn’t answer her. I didn’t want to talk to her. I didn’t want to talk to any girl except Kalie. I was cranky from not getting a full night’s sleep and very depressed thinking about possibly going home to a big empty house. Marcy wasn’t taking the hint that I wanted to be left alone. She just continued talking.

            “I kind of figured this would happen after your first little tiff and her not wanting to go on tour with you in the first place. I just wanted to tell you that I’m here for you. I’ll do anything for you. And I mean anything.

            “What did you just say?” I asked shocked.

            “I said I’ll do anything for you. I mean it. I want you so badly Nick. I’ll do anything to have you even if it’s for one night. Or we can set up a date and I’ll show you a sneak peak of how a real relationship could be.”

            “No thanks. I’m not interested. Besides I’ve told you this before, I love Kalie and I’m going to fix this mess we’re in and nobody is going to get between us.”     

            “Then how about one quick entry into the Mile High Club?”

            “No! I’ve had enough of your shit Marcy! I don’t want to be partnered with a horny slut that wants to get between me and the love of my life! I’m not going to take any more of your annoying shit and you’re fired!”

            She was appalled, “You can’t fire me!”

            “Bad news is,” Jenn, the tour manager got up from her seat and stood next to Marcy, “you’re right; Nick can’t fire you. Good news is he does have a very big say in who does and doesn’t get fired. Better news is that I can fire you and that’s what I’m going to do. I suggest that after you pick up your bags in the airport you go home and start looking for another job because you are no longer a BSB Dancer. Also switch seats with me.”

            “What if I don’t want to?” she hissed in Jen’s face.

            “I’ll move you then,” Bruce came over and picked her up out of the seat then into Jenn’s with one swift move.

            “Mind if I and Bruce sit here Nick?” Jen asked.

            “Be my guests.”

            Jen and Bruce filled up the row and I stared out the window.

            Just after the plane climbed into the air Marcy started weeping when she came to realize what just happened to her. She was sitting right behind Rochelle and AJ. I looked over and watched as Rochelle unbuckled her seat belt and looked down at the seat behind her. AJ watched too and he winced when he realized what was on his girlfriend’s mind and what she was going to do next.

            “Oh suck it up!” she told Marcy. “That’s what you get for having feelings for a man who is already in love. If it had been AJ you had been hardcore hitting on you would be dead by now. And be thankful that Kalie told me to control myself and that she wasn’t here to fight you for Nick herself. You wouldn’t have come out of that fight looking like the wanna-be pageant queen you are. One of those fake boob implants could have possibly been popped too.”

“Rochelle!” AJ exclaimed. Everyone else on the plane who was listening started to giggle and whisper.

“Oh you know it’s true,” Rochelle replied.

            Marcy huffed and crossed her arms.

I silently chuckled and put on my head phones drowning out the rest of the people around me. I went into a world of my own. One where Kalie welcomed me home with open arms and nothing ever happened between us. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t clear my mind of thoughts of Kalie. This was going to be a long plane ride.

***Kalie’s Point Of View***

            I got home from work after counting the hours until I could go to the airport to pick up Nick. I showered quickly and threw on some clothes. I pulled back my hair into a pony tail not exactly caring about how I looked because I don’t really think Nick would care even if he did want me back or not.

            It took a half hour to drive to the airport but I got there with a lot of time to spare. I took a little cat nap in my car before heading to the gate to find Nick. I woke up and watched a private jet land on the run away and figured it was the Backstreet Jet. I hurried into the airport and waited with the rest of the people waiting for Backstreet and their crew.

I caught Nick’s eye as he was coming out of the terminal. I flashed a little smirk at him and dropped my eyes to the floor when he didn’t acknowledge me. He walked over to the baggage claim and I followed him.

            I grabbed his arm. He didn’t even turn around when he asked, “What are you doing here?”

            “I came to pick you up so you wouldn’t have to pay for a taxi.”

            “Oh… thanks.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            Silence fell between us. I spoke up after he grabbed his four bags, “Nick can you please face me? I really need to tell you something.”                 

            He turned around and looked down at me, emotionlessly.

            My eyes started to swell with tears and a shiver of cold ran down my spine, “Nickolas I don’t know who that was talking to you on the phone last week. I don’t know what got into me but I really want you to know that I truly do love you and I still want you in my life. No… I still need you in my life. I’m truly, truly sorry. I guess I didn’t expect my emotions to run as high as they did while you were gone. Every part of my body missed you. It was painful with you gone. I really did miss you Nick and I’m not lying when I say I love you.” Tears escaped my eyes and I wept, “Please forgive me!”

            He dropped his bags then engulfed me with his arms. He gripped my waist tightly and slowly rocked me back and forth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder.

            “I forgive you,” he whispered in my ear. “I forgive you 100 percent. I love you. And we’ll figure something out for the American and Canadian legs of the tour. I don’t want to cause you anymore pain ever again. I love you Kalie.”

            “I’m so glad you’re home,” I sniffled. “You have no idea how happy I am that you forgive me.”

            Nick looked into my eyes and wiped away my tears, “Come on baby, let’s go home.”

            We smiled at each other and kissed. He piled his bags onto his suitcase then grabbed the handle. With the other hand he grabbed mine and we walked out to the car together. Nick was back, but the best part was he still loved me.