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Chapter 17 Whole Hearted Smile and A Gentle Kiss

***Kalie’s Point of View***

            The next day Nick and I started preparing ourselves for the concert that night. We went to the gym together and worked out for a good while then caught a quick breakfast. After that we went back up to the room and went over some dance routines. Our small lunch was followed by a long nap so neither of us would be tired for the show. Nick was the one to roll over and turn off the alarm he had set and the first to take a shower. I rubbed my eyes and sat up in bed.

            My cell phone rang and I frantically looked for it.

            “Hey Rochelle! What’s up?”

            “I just woke up from a nap. How about you?”


            “Does Alana need help getting ready for tonight?”

            “Actually yes she does. The wig is a pain in the ass to put on so it stays on.”

            “Ok when do you want me to come over to your room? I’ll help.”

            “Nick is in the shower now so I’ll call you when I’m finished with my shower.”

            “That works for me. See you in a little bit.”


            “Who was that?” Nick asked when he stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

            “It was Rochelle. She’s going to help Alana get ready for the show.”         

            “I’ll get dressed quickly then.”

            “No take your time because I have to take a shower and get dressed.”

            About half an hour later I called Rochelle back and she brought over her makeup kit and a ton of Bobbie pins. It took us about 15 minutes and about 20 Bobbie pins to transform me into Alana. The worst part was putting my blue contacts in. I don’t know why but my eyes kept watering making the contacts fall out. Finally they stayed in and the three of us met the rest of BSB and their dancers for a light dinner.

            The bus ride to the venue was silent. Everyone was catching as much sleep as possible even though it was only a twenty minute bus ride. Once we arrived at the venue we followed security to the dressing rooms and the dancers and I hit the stage to get our correct places.

            I looked out at the empty seats and my knees started to shake.

            “Are you ok Kalie?” one of the other dancers, Sue, asked.

            “I’m fine I’m just starting to get a little nervous.”

            “I thought you were used to performing in front of a crowd,” another dancer named Tiffany said.

            “I am but not this big of a crowd.”

            “If you’re nervous now with no one in the seats then I hope you won’t get stage fright on us when there are fans in those seats,” the third dancer Hanna commented.

            “No I’ll be fine. Let’s just continue with the run through and I’ll be good.”

            The girls and I continued our run through and my nervous subsided a little. That is until show time got closer and closer.

            “You are going to do perfectly fine out there tonight Kalie and you look so cute!” Rochelle said as she touched up my makeup.

            “Thanks Ro. I’m pretty nervous though.”

            “Don’t be. You’re going to knock ‘em dead tonight and you’ll be the envy of a lot of Nick fans when they see you dance with him.”

            “I doubt that.”

            “Don’t doubt it because it’s the truth.”

            “Five minutes ladies!” the tour manager called.

            “Your makeup is all finished and we better get to the group prayer before they start it without us.”

            We jogged to the prayer circle. I stood next to Nick and everyone linked hands then bowed their heads as AJ said a prayer for everyone going on stage.

            Backstreet headed for the stage and Nick was the last to follow. Before he left he turned to me and said, “Break a leg Kalie, I mean Alana.”

            “Thanks Nick. Go show your ass off tonight.”

            “Thanks babe.”

            We kissed then he jogged after his band mates.

            The other dancers and I gathered around and waited for our cue. My hands started shaking but once I hit the stage and Nick flashed a smile at me all my nerves escaped and I had a blast performing in front of all those fans. The feeling I got from that first performance made me yearn for more. Hearing the entire crowd scream and yell was fantastic and even though I knew it was for BSB I pretended a little portion of those yells and applause were for me.

Nick was incredible! He was truly working it for the crowd and the energy he received from all those screams and camera flashes transferred into his own performance and mine. He was so happy and it was obvious that he loved what he was doing. He was such a ham soaking up all the love the fans were giving him. Also I didn’t notice until that night how hot he was under all those flashing lights. His stage presence and the power he was putting behind his voice was really turning me on.

            During the encore BSB introduced their dancers. Nick grabbed my hand and kissed it for I was the last one to be introduced.

            “And let’s hear it for our newest dancer, my girl Alana!” Nick announced.

            I did a quick move like the other dancers before me and the fans applauded me then we finished off Straight Through My Heart to end the show. Once we got backstage Nick grabbed me and planted a great big kiss on my lips.

            I giggled and asked, “What was that for honey?”

            He smiled widely at me, “That was for the amazing job you did out there! That was hot! You were so sexy! Oh damn I can’t wait to get back to the hotel room.”

            I laughed, “I wasn’t that good.”

            “Oh yes you were! You don’t know how turned on I am right now.”

            “Chill baby chill!” I laughed out as he started to suck on my neck. “Wait until we get back to the hotel.”

            “Guys gather around real quick before we get on the bus,” we all gathered around the tour manager Jenn and she continued, “Awesome first American show tonight folks! Let’s have repeat performances of tonight and North America will be begging for more! Kalie great job! Welcome to the Backstreet Family.”

            “Thanks Jen.”

            “Go ahead and get on the bus and sleep well tonight,” Jenn lead the way to the bus and Nick grabbed my hand.

            On the bus I rested my head on Nick’s shoulder and yawned loudly.

            Nick looked down at me and smirked, “I guess someone is tired.”

            “Just a little baby. I think the only thing I want to do when we get back to the hotel is sleep.”

            He pouted at me.

            “Nickolas,” I looked harshly at him.

            “I’m just kidding babe, I’m pretty wiped out myself.”

            Back at the hotel room after we changed into our pjs I laid down as Nick messaged my legs. His warm hands gave the best message ever and it was putting me to sleep.

            “Hey Kalie…”

            “Yeah baby?”

            “Before you go to sleep I just wanted to ask you,” he lay down next to me and whispered in my ear, “Are you glad you came on tour with me?”

            I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him, “It’s only the first day of tour.”

            “Well what do you think of it so far?”

            “So far so good. I didn’t think I would like being on stage but I loved it.”

            “It looked like you were having a blast.”

            “That was so much fun out there tonight. I can’t wait for the next show.”

            “So you think you’ll do this next tour?”


            “I think you’ll like seeing the different parts of the country.”

            “And I get to share it all with you.”

            He grinned, “Yeah that too.”

            As tour continued I got even more comfortable on stage and with each night I had more fun than the one prior. My connection with the other BSB dancers and Backstreet Boys themselves grew stronger and I became more comfortable with becoming Alana. At first I didn’t like donning the wig and contacts but now it was fun and it gave me this air of confidence that I didn’t really have before. I was always confident in myself but Alana had a little more confidence than I did. I scared myself a few times though because it felt like Alana took over. Nick was the one who brought me back down to Earth again when that did happen.

            I don’t know why but I started thinking about how my life would be different without Nick. I often caught myself staring at him and smiling for no reason what so ever. He would often look at me and simply smile and my heart would go into over drive. I felt like I was falling in love with him all over again although I never fell out of love with him. I was in complete bliss being on tour with him but I started missing my family, friends, and my dance studio but yet I was more than content with touring the beautiful country with the man I love. It felt natural to be with him day and night. Again it made me think about the future with him but those thoughts were shaken from my head whenever he glanced or stared at me. He reassured me about our future together without words, just a single bright, whole hearted smile and a gentle kiss.     

            Things on tour were going great for the first few weeks; all of the shows were sold out and the crowds were ecstatic plus the Boys kept getting better and better with each show they performed. The only thing that made me uneasy was when Nick started acting strange.