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Chapter 3

Next morning I woke up to someone move next to me. I was so sleepy I didn’t remember what happened last night. I moved my hand to my left and I touched someone. He started to talk.

“Morning, Cara. You okay?”
“Nick? Oh God I forgot you are here with me. What time is it?”
“Almost 4:30. I should go to my own bed now so no one won’t see us together in the same bed.”
“We were just sleeping.”

I felt him move out of bed. He was really going. I feel little cold now without him next to me.

“I don’t want you to go. Please come back to next to me.”
“Cara… Do you want Kevin see us on same bed?”
“It’s not like we are having sex or anything.”
“Even we aren’t he would think that… I’m shirtless, remember?”
“Oh… Well you could go get shirt and come back.”
“Still wouldn’t make Kevin believe that we only slept.”
“I don’t mind him get upset seeing us being close. He saw us at the beach…”
“Yeah well… I haven’t kissed you then yet.”
“I feel cold in here. You feel so warm.”
“Well… Get under covers and get some more sleep.”
“No if you are not coming back here.”
“You really want to make Kevin mad?”
“We are grow ups. He can’t decide what I can do and can’t.”
“True, but he’s like brother to me. He wouldn’t like to see me next to his niece half naked.”
“Fine. I’ll get up then.”

I moved off the bed and walked to find my suitcase. I wasn’t going to sleep if he wasn’t next to me.
While I was going through my stuff, he talked.

“I’ll go make us some coffee and breakfast then. What you want to eat?”
“Everything is fine.”
“Alright. Can you manage to get yourself to kitchen?”

I heard him walks out the room and then closing door behind him. I sat down to floor and started to think about last night how he kissed me so sweetly. Are we really going to date secretly when I get home? What would mom think? Me dating one of Kevin’s band mate. She would freak out.
And let’s not forget about our age differences… 6 years is not so bad, right? Brian and his wife Leighanne got 7 years and she’s older. I could ask Nick to get me to airport instead of Kevin.
I wasn’t ready to let Nick go yet. I wanted to be close to him as long I can today. Maybe I could ask him to fly with me to NY. If I remember correctly he has born in Jamestown, NY. He could find a house or penthouse there and we could secretly see each other. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to ask him to move to New York and then we can date secretly. I changed to my clothes to formal clothes and walked out the room. I was about to open the fireplace room door, when door almost hit my face when someone opened it. It was my uncle Kevin behind it.

“Shit… Cara… I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m okay.”
“How on earth are you up so early?”
“I woke up to some crack noise and thought maybe Nick woke up.”
“Well seems like he is awake.”
“I was going to kitchen get some breakfast and coffee.”
“I walk you there. Come on.”

We walked to kitchen and it sounded so quiet. Kevin would’ve said something to Nick if he would be there, but he wasn’t. It was just me and Kevin. I sat to barstool that Kevin lead me to sit on.

“So what you want for breakfast?”
“Same as yesterday.”
“Pancakes. Alright. I need to go get some ingredients from the cold room.”
“Alright. I’ll be here.”

He walked away and it was just me now. It was too quiet in here. Suddenly I heard floor crack and listen carefully. Steps got closer and then I heard Nick’s voice.

“Hey. You get yourself look nice. So what you had decided to have as breakfast?”
“Nick… Kevin is awake. He’s making me some pancakes.”
“Huh… He’s not here… Maybe I can make you pancakes before he can.”
“Is there some coffee?”
“Yeah. I’ll pour you some.”

Few minutes later Kevin walked back to kitchen and I heard him stop walking.

“Nick… You are up early.”
“Yeah. Thought I could go for jog after breakfast.”
“You woke up Cara here with your heavy footsteps.”

I heard in his voice that he wasn’t surprised that I lied about that. They talked little bit more of stuff, but then I decided it was time to ask about if Nick could take me to airport.

“Uncle? I have a question. Well actually suggestion.”
“Sure. What is it?”
“Can Nick take me to airport?”
“Why? He won’t leave until later today.”

I stayed silence and then Nick spoke.

“Actually I could drive her to NY. It’s much safer than flying.”
“I don’t think so Nick. I’m taking her to airport.”
“Kev… Come on… It’s Cara we are talking about… What you think will happen, huh?”
“I don’t trust you with my niece.”

They were now arguing how I should go home today. I slapped my hand to table.

“Shut up! I can decide how to go home. How about I just walk home!?”
“Don’t be stupid, Cara. I know what is going on his mind.”
“Dude! She’s your niece. She’s no child anymore.”
“Yes… Only niece I have. I don’t want my niece to be friends with you.”
“Oh… Well how about you let her decide what she wants. She’s 22! She’s grown up, Kev.”
“She’s not going with you and that’s the final.”
“You are not allowed to decide my decisions uncle!”

Both got quiet and I kept talking.

“I understand you are worried about me, uncle. Like Nick said I’m already 22.”
“But nothing uncle. I’m going with Nick.”

I got up and walked out the kitchen and no idea where I was walking. I felt couch and decided to sit on it. I wasn’t feeling to eat breakfast. I decided to listen carefully when I heard them once again arguing.

“I swear Nick if I hear that you had hurt my niece, I’ll kick your ass.”
“Dude… I’m just being nice. No need to be worried, Kevin. I’m seeing someone.”
“Yeah? I saw how you hold her on that beach.”
“She was freezing. I gave her my hoodie to keep her warm.”
“You could’ve just kept your hands away around her.”
“You got nothing to worry about. She’s too young for my taste.”
“If she would be older, would you like her, huh?”
“So I’m not allowed to say she’s beautiful?”

That’s the last thing I heard from their conversation. Was he lying to Kevin about seeing someone or did he lying to me that she’s not seeing anyone? Does he think I’m beautiful? Am I too young for his taste? Why was he telling these things to Kevin? Maybe he just didn’t want to admit to Kevin that he really likes me. I could convince him that I wasn’t into Nick at all and that I could pepper spray him if Nick comes any closer to me. That would make him believe me, right?
I heard footsteps near me and then someone sat next to me on the couch. It was Kevin.

“Aren’t you going to eat?”
“Not hungry.”
“It’s going to be long hours before you are home.”
“If I get hungry then we’ll stop at somewhere to eat.”
“Cara… You got flying ticket to go home. Why won’t you just use it?”
“I hate flying. I always had. I’m letting Nick to take me to NY.”
“I’m not trusting him.”
“Well I do. If he does something then I’ll pepper spray him.”
“I would love to see that.”

He started to chuckle and I smiled.

“So are we done here? I can go with Nick?”
“Yes. Call me if something happens, okay?”
“Of course. I’m going to be fine.”
“Okay. So you want to eat or want to starve?”
“I would love to have some pancakes.”
“Great. Come.”

After eating breakfast, packing my stuff and taking quick shower, Nick and I were ready to go our road trip to New York. I was happy to get home. I was missing mom. Now that I was finally alone with Nick in the moving car I decided to ask Nick if he could move to New York so we could see each other.

“Are we going to be silence whole road trip?”
“I’m sorry. There’s lot of things I’m thinking about.”
“Like what?”
“Maybe I should take you to airport.”
“What? No. Please… There’s some things I want to talk to you about.”
“Like what?”
“I’ve been thinking this morning too. I want to see you again.”
“Cara… I think Kevin’s right. We should not go on that path.”
“What path? You said last night you want to date me secretly.”
“No I didn’t. I said I want to get to know you better. That doesn’t mean dating.”
“People goes on dates to get to know each other.”
“I know… We should not risk it. I don’t want to end up to magazines or internet.”
“Are you scared Kevin would find out?”
“Yeah. Of course. He treat to kick my ass. And you know he will.”
“So that’s it then. We just pretend that kissing never happened?”
“I’m sorry Cara. I’m not risking it.”
“We could just say that we are only friends. They never think you dating your bandmates niece.”
“Well… Fans knows I kissed Howie’s niece.”
“I didn’t know that. So you can kiss his niece, but not me?”
“Well I did kiss you. More than twice.”
“Fine… Then I won’t tell my brilliant plan of mine.”
“Is this about you thinking this morning?”
“I’m curious now.”

I was about to talk, but there was now coming Quit Playing Games on the radio and Nick groaned.

“This song made you huge in USA.”
“Not the way I wanted to USA like me.”

He turned the radio off.

“Oh… I was enjoying listening to it.”
“Well I don’t. My car and my music.”

He put some other music on.

“And this is better why?”
“It’s rock. Classic.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Are you saying you never heard of Journey?”
“I didn’t say that. Not my kind of music.”
“What you listen then?”

I had to think about that. I really didn’t know. I use to listen all kind of music, but not rock music.

“I don’t know. I use to listen all kind of music.”
“Do you listen our songs?”
“Yeah. I love Never Gone. It’s beautiful.”
“Have you heard of my solo album?”

We were once again very quiet and didn’t talk for a few minutes. I thought the silence was going to be rest of the trip, but Nick then started to talk.

“So what’s the brilliant plan of yours? You never told me that.”
“Okay… I don’t know if it’s that brilliant.”
“I still want to hear it.”
“Do you think it would be crazy that you could move to New York?”

He didn’t answer right away. He did sigh deep. I knew he was surprised by this.

“I know it’s crazy. You don’t have to answer that. I just thought it could’ve been easier to see each other.”
“Well… It’s not bad idea. I had lived there when I was just a baby.”
“I know. I just thought it could be nice to see each other, you know?”
“Yeah. Moving to New York just for seeing you? That’s lot to ask from me.”
“I know it is. Just think about it. We can lie to my mom that we are only friends, but then we can always go to your house or penthouse.”
“And do what?”
“Eating dinner, watching movies, having sleepovers…”

I started to smile and blush all things I was thinking. I didn’t dare to say them out loud, but I knew Nick could see it in me that I wasn’t just thinking that.

“Cara… Please tell me you are not thinking what I think you are thinking?”
“What am I thinking, Nick?”
“Kissing… Making out… More kissing… Touching our bodies… Am I wrong?”
“You are close.”
“Close huh? Does it involve Kissing and making out?”

Once again he went silence and we didn’t talk for few minutes. I wanted to know what he was thinking right now.

“You got very quiet after that.”
“What you want me to say?”
“I want you to say what you are thinking.”
“I’m thinking to change the subject.”
“Are you afraid of Kevin?”
“He’s very big if you haven’t noticed.”
“Well I haven’t. I can’t see shit, Nick. I’m blind if you happened to forget.”
“I’m sorry. Of course I haven’t.”
“Did you lie to me about seeing someone?”
“No. Why you think I did?”
“Because you told Kevin that you did.”
“I only said that so he wouldn’t be suspicious about us.”
“Am I too young for your taste?”
“What? Did you hear us talking?”
“Yes. I’m blind, but I’m not deaf, Nick.”
“All what I said to Kevin is a lie.”
“So I’m beautiful?”
“Am I too young for you?”
“Then what is the problem? You like me and I like you…”

He sighed deeply and groaned.

“It’s complicated.”
“Is it cause of I’m blind?”

I knew his answer when he didn’t answer me right away.

“It is, isn’t it?”
“Oh my God. You don’t want to date me because I’m blind.”
“No. I do want to… But you are Kevin’s niece.”
“Screw that. So what I’m his niece. You kissed Howie’s niece and he’s fine with that.”
“I never shouldn’t stay with you last night. I never shouldn’t give you ride home.”
“Then take me to airport.”
“That’s bit too late. I can’t make u-turn.”
“Then I’ll get some sleep. I only slept 5 hours last night. Wake me when we are having stop break.”
“Okay. Need to go to bathroom now? We can stop now.”
“No I’m fine.”

I still couldn’t believe that his reason to not date me is because I’m blind. Maybe it isn’t. Maybe he’s just scared of Kevin if he finds out us dating. I’m not scared of my uncle. I’m adult and I can decide my own decisions. I want to go out a date with Nick. Maybe as friends first, but after that I
want to so much more. I know I sound like cray fan, but I’m not a fan. I’m just a girl who have a crush on normal guy. Nick is always normal to my… Mind? I can’t say he’s normal to my eyes because I can’t see of course. But how he talks and acts around me, seems to be really normal. Seems… I wished I never lose my sight and I could just see his face. Only memory of his face is when I was in his 20th birthday. He sounds so much different than then. He had young voice and blond hair when I met him. First night at my uncle’s house, he let me touch his face and other parts of his head. While I was touching his face, I imagine the Nick back in 2000. He was definitely different. Hair was shorter and he got some stubble on his chin. He felt so manly.

I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but Nick touched my shoulder gently to wake me up. We have stopped somewhere. I asked where we were. He told me that at some cheap old motel.

“Yeah. Do you think your mom won’t mind get home tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. Why are we at the motel?”
“Like you know I didn’t sleep so much either so I feel tired. I need to get some sleep.”
“That’s fine. I should call my mom.”
“Alright. Just sit in here while I go get us room.”
“Sounds good.”

He got out the car and I searched my phone from my purse. I didn’t have much stuff in my purse.
I usually find my phone easily but this time, it wasn’t there. I started to get panic and search it around the car. I even get out the car and opened the backseat door and opened my suit case to look for it. I took clothing after clothing out the bag and still no sign of my phone. I saw down to edge of the backseat facing to outside on the backdoor. I heard footsteps getting closer.

“No, but I can be. You okay miss?”
“Please just keep walking.”
“I’m only here to help.”

I could smell stranger’s cologne. It wasn’t pleasant as Nick’s. I got really scared and crawled more to backseat. I tried to close the door, but someone was holding it open. I was about to scream, but hand came to shut me up screaming. Oh god! What is this man doing?!


I heard Nick’s voice shouting mad and loud. I felt man that was on me move away and I started to hear punches. Only thing I did was close the door and lock the all doors. I was listening punching noise and groaning noises. I didn’t even know if Nick was in danger. If I had a cellphone I would call 911, but I don’t. I have no idea where my phone is.
I don’t know how long it’s been, but I started to hear police sirens near by. Someone had to call the cops. Suddenly I felt big bang against the car. After that there was hard punch through the window and glass started to fly around me. I started to scream and cry. I heard same man groan around me and I didn’t know which car window he broke. Put then I heard him unlock the doors and started to pull me out from my ankle.

“Shut up or your boyfriend dies. Come on.”
“No. Let me go.”

Suddenly I heard another hard bang and then this man was no on me. I started to kick hard the man’s body. I felt it moved away and I heard heavy breathing.

“You okay, miss?”

It was different voice of another man. I could only nod and I cried.

“It’s okay. He’s unconscious.”
“Nick… Is he…?”
“He’s unconscious too. You can come out now.”

I was too scared to move. I waited when cops were here. Finally I heard sirens so close. Siren stopped and I heard car doors open and shut. I heard cops talking to guy who hit the guy who attacked at me unconscious. Then I heard footsteps walking towards me. It wasn’t man voice this time.

“Miss. You alright? I’m office Swan. What happened?”
“I… I just was searching my phone.”
“It’s ok. We take these guys to station…”
“No… Nick didn’t do anything… He… He tried to stop the man.”
“Which one is Nick? Can you point him for me?”
“Are you kidding me, officer?”
“No. I need to know which one is Nick.”
“I can’t just point him… I’m blind officer Swan.”
“I’m sorry, Miss. Describe him for me.”
“I guess he’s taller than other guy. He’s blonde…”
“Oh… Wait… Is that Nick Carter?”
“Yeah. How you know him?”
“Everyone knows the Backstreet Boys. So he’s your boyfriend?”
“No. He’s a friend. Giving me ride back to home to New York.”
“Alright. You can come out the car now.”

I moved carefully out the car and officer Swan helped me to not get scratch by the glass.
She walked me to inside to motel to sit down. She gave me some water and blanket around me.

“I’m going outside to see your friend. Motel owner’s daughter is here and she will look after you.”
“Did you see, Nick? Is he in bad shape?”
“Just bruises.”

It was crazy day. Nick tried to safe me from that awful man. If he couldn’t come on time, who knows what he could’ve do to me. I don’t know how long I was sitting there when I heard Nick calling me when motel lobby room door opened.

“Cara… You are okay.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just black eye and head ache. I told you to wait in the car.”
“I know you did, but I couldn’t find my cellphone.”
“And you decided to get out and search your whole bag?”
“Yes. And then this man…”
“Hey… It’s over now. Want to call your mom now?”
“How? I can’t find my cellphone.”
“I got us a room. We can go in there and we use mine.”
“You don’t have my mom’s number.”
“Nope, but I got it from Kevin.”
“You told Kevin what happened here?”
“Of course I did. He’s so worried. He’s actually glad I was with you.”

We walked to our motel room and I search the place to member where was what. Front doors left side was door to bathroom, right side of the door couch near the window. Next to bathroom door was chest of drawers and TV on the top of it on the wall. Then I felt the cold surface and I knew what that was. It’s mini fridge. I kept searching the room and then I touch the bed. I crawled on it and smiled.

“Oh man this bed is comfy.”
“You hungry?”
“What’s in the mini fridge?”

I heard Nick walk to mini fridge and open the fridge door.

“Some coke, water, wine in the mini bottles… Sandwiches. Crackers…”
“Wine sounds nice.”
“You sure you want to get drunk?”
“I never had wine before. Can we?”
“Sure. Want some sandwiches?”
“Yes. What flavors?”
“Ham and chicken.”
“I’ll have chicken.”
“Great… There’s goes my diet.”

I smiled when I heard him sighs deeply.

“You can have it. I can take ham.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. If you are on diet then…”

We ate and drank some wine. That was the grosses wine ever. I bet other kind of wines are much better than this. After I had drank my wine, I decided to have some water. After eating, Nick decided to go have a shower. He needed after fighting with that man in the parking lot. I decided to change my clothes to pj’s while Nick was in the shower. I couldn’t help but smile the idea to sleep next to Nick another night. I was going to be warm all night. No interruptions. I was taking my shirt off when I heard bathroom door open and Nick called my name.

“Hey Cara…”

I froze and covered my chest with my shirt. I heard him stop on his tracks.

“Oh Gosh I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. What is it?”
“Just thought maybe you want to have shower before me.”
“No I’m fine. Thanks.”

I smiled and waited to hear when he walks back to bathroom. I heard his footsteps, but was walking closer to me. I felt his breath on my neck. I get shivers in my back. My bare back. His fingers were moving slowly on my back

“I haven’t notice your scars before.”

Great. He was looking at my scars on my back. I needed to feel his touch again. I turned to his direction. It was really hard to know if he was watching my face or something else.

“They are from the accident. I don’t like people seeing them.”
“I’m really sorry what happened, Cara.”
“You don’t need to be sorry.”
“I do. It was my 20th birthday. I shouldn’t have invited you and Gerard.”
“Nick stop… It’s not your fault, okay.”
“I can’t help it. Now that I saw your scars…”

He makes me turn around to show them again and touches them with his thump. I got shivers again all over my body. I wasn’t moving. I was waiting his next move to do something, but he just touched my scar lines. I didn’t want to be like this whole night so I just dropped the shirt and moved to search my pj’s shirt on me. I didn’t hear him walking away. He must’ve got shocked that I allowed him to see my bare chest. I wasn’t wearing any bras under my shirt. I had smallest breasts ever. I finally find the shirt I was looking for from my messy bag. I didn’t know if Nick was watching me or has he turned around.

“Are you still looking at my back?”

I swear I hear him gulp or sigh deep. He must’ve looked at my breasts.

“Weren’t you going to shower?”
“Yeah. You just surprised me with being topless.”
“It’s ok. You had seen boobs before. I’m not embarrassing about it. I can’t see how you react so…”

I heard him walking back in the bathroom. I smiled and wondered if he was blushing when he saw me topless. I wonder what he would think about my whole naked body. Was he going to be speechless and embarrassing about it? So I decided to just wear my panties tonight to sleep on.
I removed my jeans and socks off and then crawled on bed to under covers. I heard shower going on and then off. 10 minutes later I heard bathroom door open and him walking around the room.
Now it could be handy to have my sight to see if he had towel on or not. I tried to pretend to be fall asleep, but it was hopeless.

“Cara… Are you sleeping naked?”
“Then why your pj’s is in the bag and other clothes on the floor?”
“It’s too hot to sleep. I’m not naked though.”
“Hard to believe that. Come on, Cara.”
“What? I’m not.”

I got out the covers and showed him I’m not naked. Kind of.

“That’s naked for sure.”
“I’m wearing panties. How’s that naked?”
“Because dear, Cara… They are see through.”

I was now shocked to hear that my panties are see through. I tried to think where I had bought these panties from. I was so embarrassed now. I heard Nick chuckled and get to bed.

“Why are you laughing?”
“I don’t know what got into you. Why are you all of suddenly being naked around me?”
“I told you. It’s hot in here.”
“So you take off your all clothes?”
“What should I do then, huh?”
“Go to cold shower. That’s what I did.”
“No. You need to suck it up. I’m sleep like this.”

I get under covers again and started to sleep. I heard a click sound. He must’ve shut the lights off.
As me being blind, my whole life is just blackness. This night is so much different from last night.
I was being “naked”, wasn’t cuddled up to Nick to his warm body. I was lying when I said I was feeling hot. I was starting to shiver little and I knew Nick notice it. I felt him moved closer to me and I felt his heat right up. He put his arms around me, but not under blanket. He was being nice to know touches my bare upper body. I was feeling good now. This is what I want: Me and Nick close to each other and no interruptions. I wish I never woke up to this comfortable situation.