I’m so in love with you…
~Calling You by Blue October
“Hey baby girl,” AJ greeted. Leslie looked up from her book and smiled, “Hey.”
He sat down next to her and asked, “Whatcha reading?”
She flipped the book over to show him, “Pride and Prejudice.”
He raised his eyebrows, “That’s intense.”
She laughed lightly, “It’s not, I promise.”
“Says you. I’m not much of a reader anyway,” he replied.
“That’s too bad. I love reading. It’s kind of like watching a movie, but it obviously takes longer. I like getting lost in a world that isn’t reality,” she explained.
“I can understand that. I just don’t have the patience for it unfortunately.”
“You are a bit antsy. Just like Nick,” she said.
AJ looked across the private airplane and saw Nick passed out over a couch, his mouth hanging open slightly. AJ laughed, “Thanks for comparing me to that.”
Leslie laughed, “He’s adorable.”
“Oh yeah, just so adorable,” AJ joked, rolling his eyes. Leslie continued giggling and AJ grinned at her, “So how have you been?”
“Good. Tired but good,” she responded. “I can’t imagine how you guys must feel. All I do is rehearse and do the show, but you guys are off doing interviews and photo-ops and lord knows what else.”
AJ nodded, “Yeah, but you get used to it after awhile. We’ve been doing it for over a decade so it’s kind of engrained in us now. Sure, we get tired, but it’s just another day you know?”
“Well, I admire all of you,” she said.
“Why thank you gorgeous,” he grinned.
She smiled at him again, “Why aren’t you sleeping?”
AJ looked around the dim lit cabin, the loud roar of the engine was the only sound that filled the cabin. It was black outside, the only lights coming from the flashing of the wings, and the specks from the cities below. He sighed, “Can’t. I have trouble sleeping sometimes.”
“Why’s that?”
He shrugged, “I’m just so wound up all the time. It’s hard to get to sleep when your mind is constantly running.”
“I know what you mean,” she agreed.
He looked at her, “Why aren’t you sleeping? Not like you need your beauty sleep or anything, but…”
Leslie laughed, “Always the charmer.”
“I can’t help it,” he said innocently. “But really, it’s 3 in the morning, why aren’t you snuggled up with the giant fly catcher over there?”
He motioned towards Nick and his gaping mouth and Leslie snorted from laughter. She covered her mouth, stifling her giggles. AJ chuckled, “Now that was unexpected.”
“Oh shut up McLean.”
He raised his hands up defensively, still laughing, “Hey, it’s hot when a girl snorts. It’s so… primal.”
“What?” she laughed. “AJ, I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”
“I get that a lot,” he grinned.
“I bet.”
“So?” he asked, getting back on topic.
“Just like you, can’t sleep,” she replied, finally closing her book and setting it on the floor. AJ could tell there was more to it than that, and there definitely was. She had a lot on her mind, what with the tour and Nick, and especially Brian.
They hadn’t really talked much since the other night. Brian had been distant and Leslie sensed that he might be angry with her. She couldn’t blame him, but it was necessary to be so forceful with him. With them being around each other everyday for hours on end, they were beginning to let their guards down and it was dangerous.
Though it was necessary, she was upset about it. She missed him, as odd at that sounded. Though she still saw him constantly, they were forcing themselves to stay disconnected from one another, and it was just as if they weren’t near each other at all. It was silly for her to miss someone that was sitting only a few feet away from her.
It had only been a couple days, but she missed their talks and their jokes. She missed his smile and laughter in regards to something she would say or do. She missed the way he would look at her.
But either way, she knew this was a good start on getting over whatever it is they had.
“Anything bothering you?” he asked.
She looked over at him, “No, why?”
“Just seems like there’s more to you not being able to sleep than you’re letting on,” he replied.
“What makes you so sure?” she asked coyly.
“I know women, that’s why,” he stated.
She laughed lightly, “Well, excuse me.”
“I’m serious,” he laughed. “I’m not just saying it to say it. I do know women. I was raised around them. I know what their facial expressions mean; I notice the subtlety in every word. I know if you’re lying and if there’s something wrong. I know it all.”
“That’s a rare talent.”
“You’re telling me. It’s such a burden to bear,” he kidded.
She mocked sympathy, “Such a burden. I’m sorry you have to endure that.”
“Don't go worrying your pretty little head off about me. I'm here for you today, so what’s up?” he asked, trying to get an answer out of her.
“Nothing, I told you.”
He was unhappy with her answer and decided to push it more, “How are you and Nick?”
“Just fine,” she replied. And they were.
He nodded, “Good to hear. Good to hear.”
He paused for a moment, wondering if he should say what he was going to say next. He was hesitant about it because he was still unsure of what was going on and if he wasn’t just imagining things. He was hesitant because it really wasn’t his place to intervene.
“And Brian?” he finally let out quietly.
She looked over at him startled, “What?”
He was taken aback by her reaction and she had realized how dramatic she had responded. She tried to cover it up, clearing her throat, “I mean, what do you mean?”
“How are you and Brian?” he repeated, watching her closely.
She looked at him puzzled, “I don’t know what you mean.”
He shrugged, “You just seem close, that’s all.”
She was clearly uncomfortable and to him that was a telltale sign that he wasn’t just over thinking things.
“I guess so, but it’s only cause I’m around him all the time. Just like with you and Howie.”
He shook his head, smiling at her slyly, “Not like me and Howie.”
“I’m close with you,” she defended.
“I’m not saying you aren’t, but you’re different with Brian.”
“Are not.”
“Are too,” he pushed.
He wasn’t quite sure what he was trying to get out of this, but he couldn’t stop himself. Leslie was beginning to panic. Her heart raced inside her chest and she was becoming flushed. She thanked the dim lights, praying that they blocked AJ from noticing her nervous demeanor.
“What are you getting at?” she asked.
He shrugged, “I’m not getting at anything. You guys are just close, but you haven’t really been talking with one another the past couple of days.”
Leslie looked at AJ in astonishment. Had they really been that noticeable? If AJ had seen this, what if other people have as well?
Leslie looked to Nick’s sleeping body and her heart sank in her chest, “Really? I haven’t noticed.”
AJ realized then that he wasn’t going to get anything out of her. He didn’t know what he had expected. He didn’t believe that Leslie and Brian were doing anything adulterous. It was clear that Leslie adored Nick just as Nick adored her, and he knew Brian and Leigh were having problems, but last he heard they were doing better. He just believed that there was something more between them than they were letting off to everyone else.
Leslie suddenly changed the subject and AJ let her, not wanting to make her think that he knew more than she realized, “Why isn’t Rachel here?”
“Work,” he replied. “She couldn’t get time off to come.”
She nodded, “What does she do?”
“She works for a marketing firm in LA.”
Leslie looked at him impressed, “She’s smart then.”
“Oh yeah, smarter than I am,” he smiled.
“I doubt that,” she said. “I know I’ve only seen her a couple times, but you guys seem good together.”
“I think so too. She’s not clingy you know? She goes with the flow. She understands I need my alone time just as she does. And she trusts me. That’s something that’s huge.”
“Definitely,” Leslie agreed. “Trust is huge, especially when it comes to the entertainment industry. It’s easy to go astray.”
“It is, I agree. The girls I’ve dated in the past were always chill before anything was exclusive and then when things went to the next level, it was a like a switch flipped. They got jealous and just went a tad insane."
“I can understand that though. No girl wants to see other women up on their man,” Leslie said.
“No, you’re right. Just like I wouldn’t want to see men all over my girl either, but still. It comes with the territory of being in a boy band. But the point is, Rachel’s really relaxed about all that. And come to think of it, you are too.”
“I am?” she asked.
“Hell yeah. Nick’s a lucky man Leslie,” he winked.
She sighed, wondering why she kept being told this same thing over and over again. She hated hearing those words. They made her feel horrible. They made her feel fake.
All she could do was thank him. He smiled at her one last time before he grabbed her hand and kissed it, “Well beautiful, I’m gonna try and get to bed. You should too.”
Leslie smiled at him lightly, “I will.”
Leslie watched as AJ got up from beside her and walked towards the back of the plane, being sure not to wake up Brian and Howie on his trek. She turned and looked out the window, worry etched over her face. This situation was becoming more than she could handle.
Brian looked at Leslie from across the lobby of their hotel. She was sitting on one of the couches, her legs crossed, flipping through a magazine.
They had arrived in England only that morning, but after a long day of rehearsals, they were now getting ready to head back to the venue for the show that night. People were gathering in the lobby slowly.
He shifted unsteadily where he stood, his arms crossed over his chest. He had turned his baseball cap backwards and had just popped a piece of gum in his mouth. He chewed on it nervously as he stared at Leslie, debating if he should go talk to her.
He could see flashes of light outside. Each time the front doors opened, a wave of screams came through. The large size of the lobby made it hard to identify who was who, especially with the growing number of people associated with the tour gathering.
Brian looked around, spotting Howie over by one of the choreographer’s, Caitlin. He was deep in conversation, occasionally doing a few dance moves to see if they were right. AJ and Nick were still yet to be seen.
Brian moved then, approaching Leslie tentatively.
“Anyone sitting here?” he asked.
Leslie looked up, surprised to see him standing there. A small smile crossed her face, “Brad Pitt, but I’m sure he won’t mind.”
Brian couldn’t contain a smile from appearing on his face in response to hers, “Hopefully not.”
He sat next to her, keeping a space between them. He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees. He looked over at her, catching her looking at him, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For acting like a complete douche,” he stated.
She had been looking at him with a slight seriousness, but she couldn’t help but start to laugh lightly as his words, and as a result, he laughed too, “What?”
“A douche?”
“As in douche bag,” he continued. She continued to laugh.
“Well thanks for making me feel better,” he joked.
She leaned forward and hugged him lightly, “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
Brian stiffened when she had touched him and she noticed. She immediately took her arms away, “Sorry.”
“No, I am,” he said softly.
They were quiet for a few moments and they both instinctively looked around them to see if anyone were watching them. Their paranoia was only heightened because of how nervous they felt. Brian turned to Leslie once more, “I miss talking with you.”
Leslie looked at him quickly, not expecting those words. She relaxed a little at his sincerity and his soft eyes, “I miss talking with you too.”
“I can’t not talk to you Leslie,” he said.
“I never asked you not to,” she replied.
He saw the truth in this and looked away, embarrassed. He had been acting a bigger fool than he once thought.
“No, I guess you didn't. I suppose it’s the only way I thought I could cope with this,” he said.
She leaned forward then, lowering her voice, “Brian, you’ve become one of my closest friends and I don’t want to lose that.”
“I don’t either.”
“So let’s just let it go. Act like it never happened,” she suggested. “Act like none of this has ever happened. We can start fresh.”
He nodded in agreement, “Okay.”
She smiled lightly at him, using this as an opportunity to change it to a friendly subject, “So, Mr. Littrell, how’s Leighanne?”
He sat back, trying not to make it seem like he didn’t want to talk about his fiancée, but glad they had changed the subject all the same, “She’s good. Talked to her when we got here this morning.”
“How’s her movie coming?” she asked, trying to be genuinely interested.
“She says good. They’re a bit behind schedule, but they’re making headway,” he answered.
The conversation was clearly awkward and forced, but that couldn’t be helped. Leslie tentatively decided to throw in a question that she was nervous to hear the answer, “Will she be coming back on tour?”
Brian looked over at her, hearing her tone change slightly, “Not anytime soon.”
Leslie was relieved. She liked having Brian to herself and not having to worry about Leighanne walking in and ruining their conversation. Of course, Nick always posed that threat, but he wasn’t as clingy as Leighanne was. He wasn’t as protective.
“Hey guys,” Nick’s voice rang out all of a sudden. Both Brian and Leslie looked over as Nick sat on the other side of Leslie. He leaned in and planted a kiss on Leslie’s lips, “What’s up?”
“Just waiting to head out,” Brian replied. Nick nodded, looking out the window to the flashing lights of cameras. The screams had intensified as he came into view. Security stood by the doors, blocking anyone from entering the lobby that weren’t guests.
Nick suddenly looked alarmed, patting his jean pockets as if he had forgotten something. He looked to Leslie, “Shit. Baby, did you bring-”
“Tylenol?” she finished for him. He nodded and she continued, grabbing her purse, “Of course.”
He sighed relieved, “What would I do without you?”
She took out the bottle and dumped three in her hand, handing it over it him. He grabbed her and pulled her to him close, kissing the top of her head.
Brian averted his gaze, uncomfortable with their display of affection. It never bothered him with anyone else, but the fact that it was Leslie and Nick was the problem. He hated seeing her with someone else, even if it was his best friend.
But it wasn’t just their loving display of affection, it was how comfortable they were with one another. They were to the point in their relationship where they were beginning to think ahead for the other person. They were at the point where they knew what their significant other was thinking even before they said it. The fact that she knew his choice of painkiller was Tylenol and the fact that she knew he took three pills instead of the recommended two was disheartening.
He felt incredibly stupid for taking a normal, insignificant situation and turning it into something more, but at that moment, he realized just how close Leslie and Nick were. He knew they were together because that was just blatantly obvious, but he had never stopped to really take in the fact that they truly cared for one another. He never stopped to see that through his and Leslie’s constant emotional battle, her and Nick were growing ever closer.
He hated how upset this made him. Deep down, though he was with Leighanne, he had some small glimpse of a world where he and Leslie could one day be together. Seeing them now, his fantasy was torn violently away from him, and he suddenly felt very alone.
If only he could see that he was slowly but surely taking over Leslie’s heart. Of course, that wouldn't matter in the long run. Fate had finally caught up with the two of them. They had tried hard to keep what they had as platonic as possible, but that stage in their lives had finally come to an end, for tomorrow was Sunday and an unsuspecting afternoon was in store.
