~Alexandrea to Nicholas III
“Nick, this thing is making my face itch,” Leslie whined. It took all the willpower she could muster not to reach up and snatch the blindfold away from her face.
She heard him chuckle beside her as he tightened his hold on her hand, “Just be patient, we’re almost there.”
Nick had been tight lipped about this night’s birthday events the entire day. Leslie had given into her desire to know everything and as a result, had proceeded to plead with Nick to tell her what he had planned. He was resilient, however, and had not budged an inch. He would only smile lovingly and kiss her softly. He was taking pleasure out of this form of torture and she was finding it irksome yet romantic all at the same time.
He had been showering her with attention the whole day. In the morning he took her out to breakfast and then treated her to a horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park. For lunch, they settled down at a delicatessen in Times Square, and then afterwards they hit up the Metropolitan Museum of Art for the afternoon. Leslie especially enjoyed this last part because she had always adored art. She could tell that Nick wasn’t enjoying it as much as she was, but he tried, and that meant a lot to her. She caught him with a puzzled expression more than once and she had to stop herself from giggling.
Leslie had an overall wonderful day, thanks to Nick, but there was an underlying sadness over everything that was being showered on her. Out of all of her birthdays, she had never once been so phone deprived than she was then. Usually her cell phone would constantly ring the day of her birthday, but she had only gotten a handful of calls, and none of them from the people that mattered to her most. She found it hard to believe neither of her parents or Amy had contacted her. Not only that, but no one from the tour, including the guys themselves, had wished her a Happy Birthday. She was disappointed that she wouldn’t get to spend her birthday with everyone, but she understood that they had things to do and had to get to Virginia for interviews. She understood that Nick was going out of his way for her. She just didn’t expect being forgotten. She kept telling herself that the day was still young and that she would hear from everyone soon, but it was already 8 o’clock, and her heart was slowly sinking further and further into her stomach. Her happy mood was quickly sinking.
It was one thing not to hear from her family, but not hearing from Brian was entirely different. Out of everyone, his silence bothered her the most. Out of everyone, she thought that he would be the first to call her, but he hadn’t, and as a result, her thoughts were plagued by doubts of if his feelings for her were truly real. How could they be if he could forget a day he knew meant so much to her? Of course, she knew she was being ridiculous. She was thinking too much and as a result, she was reaching conclusions that probably weren’t truth. This was one of her major faults as a woman, but this particular vice was shared by many. Women think too much, they overanalyze, they worry. She knew these things, but that didn’t stop her from thinking the worst. It didn’t stop her from feeling so hurt.
After Nick and Leslie left the museum, they returned to the hotel and Leslie immediately collapsed onto the bed, exhausted both from the excitement of the day, but also because her emotions were draining her. She was nearly ready to call it a night before Nick had announced that he had one more surprise in store for her. He told her to dress up in something fancy, yet comfortable. She used his cue of getting into a nice black suit as a means to figure out what she would wear in turn. She had no idea what he had planned and her attempts at finding out were only in vain. She had settled on a baby blue, knee length, strapless dress that flowed about her like water.
Her confusion had only heightened when Nick informed her that he would have to blindfold her. She was less than pleased with this notion due to the fact that she had just spent a good amount of time in perfecting her hair, but she gave in nonetheless, not wanting to ruin Nick’s surprise for her.
Now, the two of them sat in the back of a limo, driving to God knows where. She could feel the nervousness and excitement emanating from Nick, and it only made her just as jittery. Was he taking her to the opera? Was he taking her out dancing? She had run through every idea imaginable, but she couldn’t settle on any one conclusion because with Nick, any of them were possible.
She felt the car finally come to a slow stop then and Nick moved beside her. She turned her head in his direction, “We there?”
“We are. Sit tight for a second babe,” he said softly. The limo door opened then and cold air came rushing into the cabin, making Leslie shiver involuntarily. She felt Nick’s warmth leave her as he stepped out of the vehicle, but his hand found hers soon after, telling her that it was her turn to get out. Nick helped her out of the limo carefully, holding her hand and steadying her by placing his hand firmly on her lower back. Her heels clacked to the cement as she exited and she could hear the car door slam shut behind her.
“Nick, I have to look ridiculous,” Leslie hissed.
Nick laughed, leading her further up the sidewalk, “You don’t, I promise. If anyone’s looking, it’s because they can’t believe how gorgeous you are.”
Leslie couldn’t help but smile, “Always the charmer Carter.”
“Only with you,” he said before kissing her cheek gently.
He informed her that she would have to climb some stairs and after some careful maneuvering, Nick was escorting her into a heated building. Her curiosity and excitement were rising to a new level, and she was soon forgetting about her lack of birthday wishes.
“You doing okay?” Nick asked.
“Course, except I’m dying to know where we are,” she smiled.
After a couple of minutes walking through the building, Nick came to a stop and let go of her hand for a moment. Leslie heard a door open in front of her then and Nick led her through it. She thought she heard hushed voices, but she dismissed this when Nick spoke up again, “We’re here.”
“We are?”
“You ready?” Nick asked. Leslie could tell by his voice that he was smiling.
“Do you even have to ask?” Leslie retorted.
Nick laughed and he slowly inched his fingers around her head to untie her blindfold. When he pulled it away from her face, she didn’t even have time for her eyes to adjust before a large group of people screamed ‘Surprise!’, with balloons and streamers immediately flying from the ceiling. Leslie stood there in shock, trying to take in the scene. She raised her hands to her mouth, shocked.
People came rushing towards her, and she barely had time to comprehend what was happening until they were upon her. She saw her parents and Amy at the head of the crowd, rushing to her excitedly. They wrapped her in a hug, all of them at once telling her Happy Birthday and trying to apologize for not calling her earlier; Nick had made them promise not to.
Leslie hugged them back, still trying to adjust to this welcomed surprise. She was ecstatic, so much so that she could barely take in who was hugging her or what anyone was saying to her. She turned to Nick through all this and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him hard. He laughed against her lips and laced his arms behind her back, kissing her right back. She pulled away to look at him, “Baby, thank you so much!”
“I knew you would like it,” he grinned, kissing her softly.
“I’ve never been thrown a surprise party before,” she admitted.
He nodded, “I know.”
Leslie wanted to show her gratitude more. but she was quickly grabbed away from Nick and scooped up into several more hugs. Nick had gotten her family, some of her old friends from Colorado, and the entire tour to show up. How he did it, she did not know, but she was beyond surprised. All her fears and worries from earlier that day shattered and she embraced the happiness and love that surrounded her.
Nick had rented out a medium sized event ballroom with a stage, a dance floor, a bar, tables full of finger foods and sweets, and of course, the surrounding tables for the guests. The room was decorated beautifully, from pastel colored balloons to similar colored flowers. A DJ was busy on stage, finally throwing the party into full swing. Leslie felt like she was in an episode of Sweet Sixteen on MTV with how glamorous the room was. It was like a Hollywood party, but for her.
She glanced over at Nick seeing him engrossed in greeting her parents, wondering how much this had cost him. He was really too good to be true. She hadn’t expected this in a million years, and even now, she felt that she didn’t deserve it. She didn’t need all this, though she was appreciative. She would have been content staying at the hotel and cuddling up with Nick to watch a movie, but Nick had surpassed anything she had ever imagined. The time, effort, and money that had to go into this was astounding to even think about, and she wondered how he did it without her knowledge. She felt so incredibly loved at that moment that she was nearly on the verge of tears.
“Happy Birthday!” Rachel squealed as she ran up and engulfed Leslie in a hug.
Leslie stumbled back and laughed, “Why thank you.”
Leigh was close behind, “Yeah, Happy Birthday beautiful. Did ya think we all forgot?”
Leslie gave Leigh a quick hug and nodded sheepishly, “To be honest, I did.”
Both Rachel and Leigh ‘Awww’ed in unison, and went in for another hug. Rachel jumped in apologetically, “We’re so sorry! We hated having to keep quiet about all this, but Nick made us promise. I found it the hardest cause lord knows I can’t keep a secret worth a damn, but this is nice isn’t it?”
“It’s beyond nice. It’s amazing. I don’t know how Nick did it,” Leslie said looking at the spectacle about her. Everyone was dispersing and finding their own little niches, whether it was on the dance floor, by the bar, chatting amongst the tables, or eating. It was a packed room, but she knew everyone, and that made it all the more special.
“He hired a party planner I think,” Leigh commented.
Leslie laughed, “See, I knew he couldn’t do it all by himself.”
“Oh, don’t let that fool you. He picked everything out and made sure everything was perfect. He’s been excited about this for weeks.”
“Well, it’s great, and I’m so glad you guys made it. I know how busy you guys are,” Leslie said sincerely.
“Pssh, we wouldn’t have missed this for the world!” Rachel beamed as she wrapped Leslie in another hug. “But we’ll let you go mingle. We wouldn’t want to keep the birthday girl from all her guests.”
“Thanks, I’ll find you later okay?” Leslie said, noticing more people approaching.
“Sounds good, but oh! Before I forget... your present, it’s for both you AND Nick,” Rachel winked. Leigh laughed and grabbed Rachel’s arm, pulling her away.
Leslie looked at her puzzled, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll just have to find out!” Rachel called behind her shoulder.
Leslie greeted everyone that was in proximity, from AJ, Howie, Kevin, and Kristen, to some friends she hadn’t seen in what seemed like years from Colorado, to some of the roadies and dancers. She spent some time with her parents, and especially some time with Amy, unable to conceal her excitement that they were here to celebrate with her.
After nearly an hour, however, she was becoming puzzled by the fact that she had yet to see or hear from Brian. He was here wasn’t he? She was afraid to ask anyone, thinking it imprudent to be so specific about a particular person being present, but her curiosity was getting the best of her. It wasn’t until she was once again with Nick on the dance floor that Brian had appeared.
She saw him at the edge of the dance floor, absentmindedly talking to Howie, but it was clear his attention was elsewhere because he would repeatedly glance over in her direction. She wondered where he had been the entire night, but she pushed those thoughts away, happy and relieved to know that he was actually there in the first place.
“So how do you like everything?” Nick asked softly in Leslie’s ear.
Edwin McCain’s ‘I’ll Be’ was playing through the speakers. Nick had intentionally asked the DJ to play this particular song so that he could get a slow dance in before the party got too crazy, and the song choice itself was based off of Nick and Leslie’s first date. They were driving to dinner and this song came on the radio. Leslie went on to gush about how she had been obsessed with the song when it originally came out and Nick had teased her about it. He was too proud to admit that he liked it too.
“I love it. You did good Nicky,” Leslie smiled.
She looked up at him lovingly and he kissed her forehead, “How good?”
“Real good,” Leslie joked in a manly voice.
Nick laughed lightly, “So brownie points for me then?”
“Major brownie points,” Leslie agreed.
“Does that mean I can get a little somethin’ somethin’ later?” Nick wriggled his eyebrows playfully.
Leslie acted shy, “Maybe…”
“Maybe!? Woman, what do I gotta do to get some lovin’?” Nick whined.
Leslie rolled her eyes, “You act like you never get any.”
Nick raised an eyebrow as if to agree with that statement and Leslie laughed, smacking Nick’s shoulder, “You get it more often than you probably should!”
He laughed, “Alright, alright, I know, I’m only joking with you baby. All I gotta do is bat my eyelashes at you and you’re putty in my hands.”
Nick commenced to bat his eyelashes and Leslie giggled, having to look away from his absurd actions, “Oh God.”
“That’s what she said,” Nick joked.
“You’re on a roll tonight aren’t you?” Leslie mused.
“What can I say? I’m just in a happy mood, and you know why?”
“Why?
“Because you’re happy,” he said sincerely.
She took a moment to take in his loving words before kissing him softly, “You’re so good to me Nicky.”
“I love you,” he kissed her.
She smiled and kissed him back, “Love you, too.”
Just then, someone cleared their throat from behind Nick, and both Nick and Leslie turned their heads to see who had joined their little party on the dance floor amongst all the moving couples. Brian stood there, shy and unsure with himself. He smiled at the both of them and turned his attention to Nick, “Would it be terrible to ask the birthday girl to dance?”
He only glanced at Leslie as he addressed Nick. Leslie could see his nervousness and it made her smile from its cuteness.
Though Nick would have liked to finish out the song with his girlfriend, he didn’t see the big deal in letting his best friend take over for the last couple of minutes, so Nick smiled and dropped his hands away from Leslie’s body. He reached over to clap Brian on the back, “Go for it. I guess I can’t hog her all night can I? I hope you’re not afraid that she’ll upstage you.”
“She does that every night anyway,” Brian kidded.
Leslie smiled at this comment and Nick leaned in and kissed her cheek before scampering off to mingle with other guests. Leslie turned her attention back to Brian and blushed slightly as he saw the look he was giving her; pure adoration.
He held out his hand and she tentatively slid hers into his. Brian gently pulled her into his arms and began to sway to the music. She leaned against him comfortably, allowing him to gently move her body with his.
After a few moments of silence, Brian finally spoke up softly, “Happy Birthday.”
She pulled back to look up at him, “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you,” he apologized sincerely.
Leslie shook her head, “It’s not a big deal.”
“But it is. It was torture not being able to talk to you. I nearly called you over a dozen times, but we had all promised Nick not to do anything. I was a wreck all day,” Brian admitted.
“A wreck huh?” Leslie teased.
He laughed lightly, “I thought you’d hate me.”
“Of course I wouldn’t hate you,” Leslie replied.
Silence enveloped them once more, but it was a comfortable silence. They both realized that this was the first time they had ever slow danced with one another, and though they couldn’t vocally express what they were thinking, they both knew that the same thing was running through their minds; this felt right.
Brian had barely gotten any sleep the night before. He was tempted to call Leslie up and just forget Nick’s wishes, but he held himself back, thinking it would be worth it in the end for both him and Leslie. He was only afraid that she would be hurt by his blatant disregard for a holiday that she had expressed several times in loving so dearly. He had indeed been a wreck all day. He constantly stared at his phone, continually having to stop himself from pressing the ‘Send’ button when he brought her number up. It didn't help that Leighanne had been complaining all day about having to go to the party that night. She kept telling him that she didn’t feel up to it and that they should both stay in and relax. Leslie would understand, she said. But that was out of the question. There was no way in hell that Brian would miss such an important occasion, especially because it dealt with Leslie, the woman of his dreams.
He had been antsy the entire hour before Leslie had shown up. Nick wanted everyone at the event center over an hour before they showed up, just to make sure all the guests had enough time to get to the party and prepare for Leslie’s surprise. He had sat down at one of the tables and commenced to nervously chew on his inner cheek. He got in the habit of glancing at his watch every 30 seconds or so, wondering why time wasn’t going by any faster. He was eager to see Leslie and wish her a Happy Birthday to prove to her that he didn’t forget and that he did care, but not only that, he secretly had other plans.
From his and Leighanne’s last major argument surrounding the baby and Brian’s later conversation with AJ, Brian had come to the conclusion that AJ was right. He couldn’t stay with Leighanne because it wasn’t fair to either of them. He had tried to fix something that was permanently broken, and in the process had ruined a potential relationship with the woman he was so madly in love with. He tried to rekindle his romance with Leighanne but found it both hard and fruitless. He tried keeping a steady friendship with Leslie in the hopes of getting over his feelings for her, but that had turned out disastrously. He tried to finally do the right thing, but he felt more and more out of control and unhappy with each day that passed. He had tried, and that was what mattered. Ultimately, he knew that he couldn’t do this to himself for the rest of his life. He had accepted that fact that he would never love Leighanne the way that she wanted him to, that he would never get over Leslie, that they could never be just friends, and that he would never be happy in a marriage only brought together by a child that was a complete accident.
And so, he was going to use this night as a means to finally tell Leslie how he felt. He would finally tell her that he was in love with her and had been from the moment he first set eyes on her, and that he was going to leave Leighanne for good. He wanted nothing more in this world than to be with her, and if that meant risking everything he had worked so hard for in every aspect of his life, then so be it. What mattered was that she was his. He only hoped that he wasn’t too late. He feared that Leslie may have finally moved on from him, but he feared even more so that Nick had already proposed. However, he doubted this, knowing that Nick wished to do it later on in the party. He felt terrible for betraying Nick, but he had to tell Leslie how he felt now, or else he wasn’t going to get a chance otherwise. He had to tell her so she could decide for herself who she really wanted to be with.
AJ had seen Brian’s agitation before Leslie and Nick showed up and had tried to comfort him, seeing that Leighanne made no attempts to as she wandered off to talk to Kristin, but nothing he said seemed to make any difference. It was obvious Brian was preoccupied with more than he was trying to let on, but AJ couldn’t delve any deeper, thinking the place was inappropriate to do so.
And so, when Leslie finally showed up, Brian lingered back, waiting for the onslaught of greetings, and happy birthday’s, to diminish before he approached her. He needed all of her attention, and as of then, he finally had it.
Brian noticed that the song was coming to an end, and snapped out of his reverie. He had gotten lost in Leslie once again, not realizing that time was ticking by. For a moment, he had forgotten what he really meant to talk about with her, but now he knew that if he didn’t get it out now, he may not be able to find time to tell her later.
He finally spoke up, looking down at her beautiful face seriously, yet softly, “Leslie, I need to tell you something.”
She was thoughtful, wondering what could have sparked such a sharp change in tone, “What is it?”
This was it. The moment of truth. He couldn’t back down now. Would she say it back to him? Would she walk away? Would she laugh? Would she cry? Would she slap him? Would she yell? Would she do anything at all?
He took a deep breath, debating if he should really go through with it. He was second guessing himself, and this was the worst time in the world to do so. He licked his lips nervously and looked away from the eyes that had captured his heart so fiercely. Leslie grew puzzled by his demeanor and followed his gaze, trying to get him to look back at her. When she finally locked her eyes with his once more, she was surprised to find sadness there.
“Brian, what is it?” she asked quietly. She searched his face, faintly noticing that the music had come to an end. Their bodies had stopped moving, but they had made no move to remove their arms from around each other.
Brian decided to take the plunge, seeing the concern and love etched over her face. He felt comforted then. He knew that it would be okay.
He opened his mouth to let go of the words he had been meaning to say since the moment he had first kissed her, “I lo-“
“Hiyo!” someone called out. Brian’s words were frozen in his throat, and the moment that was created between the two of them vanished in mere milliseconds. Leslie’s arms dropped from around Brian’s neck and Brian reluctantly pulled his arms away as well. Brian’s heart cracked painfully in his chest, seeing his opportunity of telling her his true feelings flickering away.
Timbaland began blasting through the speakers and AJ swooped in, grabbing Leslie’s hand, “You don’t mind that I steal her for a bit do you Rok?”
Brian couldn’t find the words to respond, so he only shook his head, watching Leslie step away from him. She looked back at him apologetically, “We’ll talk later okay?”
He nodded, giving her a small smile.
AJ had noticed the two on the dance floor and watched them closely. In just a couple of moments, it was clear that they couldn’t contain their hidden emotions. It was seemingly a dance between a pair of friends, but it was clear that through the way they looked at one another and the way they held each other that there was more to it than that. AJ feared that people would notice, so as a means to keep the peace, he had interrupted their little world.
After a couple more hours of dancing, laughing, and talking, people started to get a little more rowdy. Champagne and wine flowed like water, and the music was constantly upbeat. It was soon turning into a club like atmosphere, but no one minded, including Leslie. Brian even let go a little. He found himself doing shots over at the bar with Kevin, which was a rare sight to see, but considering the circumstances, Brian thought he could indulge a little.
Leslie was busy chatting up Amy and a couple of the dancers when Nick approached her. He was on a high, not only because Leslie was obviously having a great birthday, but because the party had turned out to be better than he ever hoped it would be. It was a smashing success, and he couldn’t help but beam with pride. He felt that this was the most opportune time to finally pop the question. If not now, surrounded by everyone they knew and loved, then when? It was the perfect opportunity.
Leslie turned when Nick’s hand interlaced with hers. He leaned down and kissed her gently, “Hey, sorry, but can I talk to you for a second?”
Leslie smiled and nodded, “Of course. What’s up?”
“Let’s go somewhere a little more private,” he suggested, glancing at Amy and the other ladies that surrounded his beloved.
Leslie was intrigued by this and wondered what could be so important and so private for Nick to want to go elsewhere, but she didn’t object. She looked to Amy and the girls and told them that she would be back in a few moments, and then allowed Nick to lead her through the party. It wasn’t long until she felt the night’s cool air hitting her heated skin, and she took a deep breath, welcoming the sensation.
Nick had taken her to the side of the room where there were several glass paned doors that led out to several miniature balconies. Nick had quickly opened the doors and pulled them through, closing the doors behind them.
Leslie looked to Nick in puzzlement, “What did you need to talk about?”
Nick grinned and approached her, taking the time to gently snatch the champagne class from her grasp and rest it against the railing. He took her hands then and raised them to his lips, kissing her skin gently. Their breath billowed out in front of them, but neither cared, for Nick was too excited and Leslie was too curious to notice.
“I love you, you know that right?” Nick began.
Starting out a conversation like this always seemed to go two ways, to heartbreak or fulfillment. Leslie couldn’t imagine this leading to something horrible, especially after everything Nick had done for her that day.
“Of course,” Leslie replied, letting Nick lace his fingers through hers.
He licked his lips and laughed lightly, “I’m a little nervous.”
“About what?” she asked.
He looked down for a moment, his grin never leaving his features, and then back up at her, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about us that is. And I’ve come to realize a few things.”
The high and excitement from the party was slowly beginning to dissipate within Leslie. She hadn’t expected Nick to want to talk about something serious, but it was clear that was the path that he was taking, and it was beginning to make her nervous. What was he trying to get at? What was so important for him to pull her aside when they were all having so much fun?
He raised his hand to gently rub his fingers against her cheek, “You’re so beautiful baby. I’m so lucky to have you.”
Leslie smiled at him, “And I’m lucky to have you.”
He nodded, once again taking her hands into his, “I don’t know what my life would be like if I hadn’t have met you. I didn’t even know a woman like you existed. You’re everything to me. I’ve realized just how special you are through how you’ve changed my life. You’ve made me a better man. You make me want to be a better man. I’ve realized that if everything were to fall to pieces tomorrow, that it would be okay because I would have you. That’s what matters to me Leslie. Out of everything in this world, you matter to me most.”
Leslie's heart was beginning to speed up a little bit, not out of flattery or excitement, but out of nervousness and dread. She was afraid now. She was flat out terrified.
Nick had always been very sentimental with her, but tonight was different. There was something in his eyes and the way he said the words that made her uneasy. She was afraid where this was going, and the more he talked, the surer she was as to what he was trying to get at, and she was in no way prepared for it.
“Nicky…” she began uncomfortably.
Nick interrupted her by raising his hand, “Hang on, let me finish okay? If I stop now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to start up again.”
She pursed her lips and allowed him to gather his thoughts. He sighed and continued, “I see how happy Kristin and Kevin are, and Brian and Leighanne, and I started to think that we could be like that. I can see myself with you always. I see myself growing old with you. I see myself having kids with you…”
He trailed off and he laughed sheepishly, “I feel like an idiot for saying all this. I know it’s cheesy.”
Leslie was beginning to panic. She was frantically searching her brain for a way to get out of this. She wasn’t ready. This couldn’t be happening now. Her feelings were still so fragile. She had only just begun having strong feelings for Nick, and now he was on the verge of ruining all that. She glanced sideways at the paned glassed doors and saw the party within, wanting more than ever to step foot back into the heated room and get lost amongst everyone.
Nick squeezed Leslie’s hands and her attention was brought back to him swiftly. He was smiling lovingly down at her, “I guess I should just cut to the chase…”
He cleared his throat and let go of her hands. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a black box. It was at this moment that Leslie felt like throwing up. She was screaming on the inside. She kept repeating that this couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening!
Nick slowly got down on one knee then, and looked back up at Leslie. If he had noticed her nervous and agitated disposition, he made no signs of acknowledging it. He reached out and took her hand, locking his blue eyes with hers. She stared down at him, knowing that this moment was something she had dreams about ever since she was a little girl, but somehow, the feelings she was experiencing weren’t the ones she had believed she would feel. She had always envisioned being completely elated, but as of then, she dreaded the next words that would come out of his mouth. She loathed them. The stability she had recently found was crumbling away beneath her.
“Leslie Ann Baker, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I can’t see my life without you in it. All I see is you, and I can’t go on another day not knowing that you truly are mine; body and soul. Baby…” Nick paused then and took a deep breath.
Then there they were. The words she had feared.
“Will you marry me?” he asked, relief immediately washing over his features when the words left his mouth. He looked up at her excitedly, waiting.
Leslie only stared down at him in shock. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. This was the last thing in the world that she had ever expected. She hadn’t even thought that this was possible. How had she dismissed the fact that Nick might someday want to marry her? Through all her heartache with Brian and through all her struggles into getting back on track with Nick, she had disregarded a big chunk of possibilities. She hated herself for allowing herself to become so vulnerable and blindsided.
Leslie let out a long breath, feeling her eyes well up with tears. She felt so lost. Here was a man on his knees, pouring his entire soul out to her, asking her to spend the rest of her life with him and only him, and she couldn’t find any words to say. She felt terrible. She felt like a monster.
The silence that filled the air was drawing on way too long and Nick’s happy high faltered slightly. He had not expected her to take this long to answer, and why wasn’t she smiling? He saw tears forming, but somehow he suspected that they weren’t tears of joy. Why wasn’t she speaking?
“Leslie?” Nick asked tentatively.
Leslie swallowed hard, trying to gain control of herself. What the hell was she going to do?
“Leslie?” Nick repeated, the nervousness more prominent now.
Does she say yes? If she did, she would be lying to herself. Sure, she loved him, but she wasn’t ready for marriage. She wouldn’t be for quite awhile yet. Her heart was still mending, and her feelings for Nick were still unsteady. Could she say yes and just opt for a long engagement? Would that even be fair to Nick if she finally figured out that she could never love him the way that he loves her?
So then, does she say no? If she does that, however, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to lie about why not. She couldn’t bear tossing more lies at him when all he had ever done was love her. She would have to tell him the truth and hope that he would understand. She would have to tell him the truth and hope that he wouldn’t leave her.
She opened her mouth to finally speak but found that her throat and mouth had gone completely dry. She cleared it painfully slowly and addressed him carefully, “Nicky…”
His face lit up as she spoke, thinking that she had to just overcome the shock of him asking her for her hand in marriage, and that she would now accept him. But this happiness soon diminished when he saw the sad look on her face, and the gentle tone she used when she spoke up again, “Nick…”
She sighed, averting her gaze for a moment before looking back at him. A couple of tears escaped her eyes, and she bent down to grab both of his hands, pulling up on them, “Please stand up.”
Stand up? Why the hell would she want him to stand up? She hadn’t answered him yet.
Nick’s heart began to beat rapidly in his chest. This didn’t feel right. She was acting far from what he had expected. He felt a sense of dread sweep over him.
He reluctantly got to his feet, the dazzling ring still held within his fingers. He watched as Leslie raised her hand to rub her forehead stressfully. She turned away from him, placing her other hand on her hip. She paced slightly and her features grew even more sullen. With each passing moment, his heart sank further and further into his stomach, until he was soon on the verge of bursting.
She finally stopped pacing and faced him again, immediately seeing his downcast expression. This hurt her heart even further, and made her decision even more horrible. She stumbled over her thoughts, choking on her words, “Nick… I can’t.”
All the color drained from his face. He gulped, trying to ignore the fact that his stomach was lurching uncomfortably. The air around him tore apart. He felt like he had been slapped hard across the face. He was dazed for a moment, having to repeat her words over in his head. The more he repeated it, the worse he felt. The more he repeated it, the harder it was for him to stay focused.
“Can’t?” he breathed out quietly. He clutched the black box in his hand, felt the cold metal of the ring against his fingers. Leslie had just rejected him. He never even thought to take this into account.
She looked to him sadly, “I’m sorry Nick. I really am. I care for you, I really do. I wasn’t expecting this…”
He barely heard her, however, as he interrupted her, “Why not?”
She stopped in mid-sentence and took a deep breath. This was the question she had been dreading. She didn’t know how to respond at first.
He asked more forcefully, “Why not?”
The embarrassment of baring his soul and asking her hand in marriage and then turning around and being rejected was showering down on him.
She flinched at his words. She opened her mouth to speak, but Nick interrupted her once more, “What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, of course not,” she quickly responded. “You did absolutely nothing wrong. All you have ever been is loving and supportive. You’re an amazing man…”
“Then what then?” he was desperate now. He was beyond confused. He was beginning to feel helpless.
The cold night air was no longer welcomed. The heat she had obtained from inside the party had long ago diminished and now she found her arms hugging herself tightly to fight off the cold. She looked to Nick’s sad face and tried to choke down her sobs.
Nick began again, “Leslie…”
It was Leslie’s turn to interrupt him. She couldn’t bear holding it off any longer, “Nick, I have to tell you something.”
Nick stopped and stared at her. Her tone was frightening. He felt a heavy dread settle over him. He didn’t respond; he couldn’t.
Leslie’s bottom lip trembled and she hugged herself tighter. She could feel the warm tears slide down her cheeks but she barely noticed them. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her hands were clammy. She was terrified for what she was about to do. She was even more terrified at what the consequences would be.
“I don’t want you to hate me,” she said softly.
He furrowed his eyebrow at her, “I can’t hate you Leslie. I love you too much…”
She shook her head, wanting him to stop, “Nick, I’ve lied to you.”
He was trying to figure out what she was trying to tell him but he was only exasperated. He didn’t understand why she was being this way. He didn’t understand why she had told him no, “All of us lie.”
“Not like this,” Leslie cried. “I’ve done something terrible.”
Nick’s stomach lurched again, “What are you talking about?”
Leslie met his eyes once more, “I’m so sorry Nick.”
“Leslie, what are you talking about?” Nick asked more forcefully. He was getting frustrated.
Leslie bit her lip. She looked at Nick carefully, her nerves jumping into overdrive. She was beyond terrified. All she could do was blindly tell him the truth. She finally choked out softly, “I’ve been seeing someone else.”
His reaction was immediate. It looked as if she had thrown a ten ton boulder at him. His head jerked backwards as the words hit him head on. His facial expression was of complete and utter shock. He gaped at her and stumbled backwards. He threw his arms out to steady himself against the railing of the balcony.
Leslie watched this fearfully, his silence creating an eerie cloud to twirl about them. She kept her distance, watching as his breathing deepened by the second. He was staring down at the concrete and it wasn’t long until he looked as if he would pass out.
“Nick…” Leslie attempted to start up again. “Baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen... Nick, please talk to me.”
Nick ignored her pleas. He was still trying to process what she had initially said to him. Leslie cheated on him? His Leslie? How could he have not known? How? When? And who?
He spun towards her, and she stepped back in surprise, “Why?”
She quickly shook her head, “I don’t know. It just happened.”
“It just happened!?” he burst. “Did you just happen to fall on the guy’s dick or what Leslie!?”
She cringed, “It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what the hell was it like? Was I not good enough for you?”
“It’s not like that Nick! I don’t know how it happened!”
Nick threw his arms in the air in exasperation. He didn’t know how to react to this. He definitely had not expected it. He had never thought that Leslie would do this to him, and now that it had, he was completely unprepared.
Various emotions surged through him; anger, hate, love, sadness.
It was this last emotion that overcame him then. He lowered his voice and felt the tears come forth, “How could you do this to me?”
Leslie tried to approach him but he pushed her off. She pleaded, “Nick, please. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I’m not seeing him anymore.”
Nick croaked, his tears sliding down his cheeks freely, “I never thought you were capable of doing something like this.”
Leslie was feeling desperate. She had no idea what to say or do to help the situation, “I care for you so much.”
“Don’t lie to me!” he cried, stepping away from her. She watched him stumble back and her heart broke.
“God Nick, I’m so sorry! It’s been eating me up inside having to keep this from you. You’ve been so good to me-“
“Just stop talking,” he put his hand up to silence her.
Leslie couldn’t just stop though, and she continued to plead. Nick spoke over her, “Just stop Leslie! Please. Just stop.”
Leslie quickly shut her mouth, not wanting to make him angrier than he was. She watched as he leaned against the balcony, lowering his head as he began to cry. She stood back watched him tentatively. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. She felt like jumping from the balcony.
She was causing him so much pain and she hated herself for it.
Nick could feel Leslie’s eyes boring into his back but he had ceased to care. It felt like his heart had been torn out and stomped all over the ground. How could he go from asking the girl he loved to marry him to finding out that she had cheated on him? What was he supposed to do with that information?
Thousands of thoughts streamed through his head at a pace that he couldn’t keep up with. He could barely comprehend the pain he was feeling, let alone trying to decipher what he was thinking. But there was one thing that stuck out amongst all the pain and the tears and the heartache. It rang all too clear in his head and the more he thought about it, the angrier he became.
Who the fuck was the man Leslie cheated on him with?
WHO?
Nick turned to Leslie again, his voice lowered, his tears controlled, “Who is he?”
“Who?” Leslie croaked out.
“Who the fuck is he, Leslie?” Nick’s voice trembled.
“Don’t do this,” Leslie whispered fearfully. It was one thing to admit her treachery, but it was another to have to admit to whom she did it with. Her stomach was in knots.
“Who is he!?” Nick burst.
Leslie swallowed hard, terrified at the word that was about to slip from her lips.
“Tell me Leslie. That’s the least you can do! Who the fuck is he!?”
She felt defeated. She felt stripped and bare and vulnerable. She felt like her world was ending.
“Tell me,” Nick growled.
Leslie felt a few more tears fall before she heard the name drift from her. If Nick had not been listening so intently, he might not have heard it, but the name boomed through the quiet night air like a firecracker.
“Brian.”
She paused before speaking again, "It's Brian."
