~Stick With Me Baby by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss
It had been nearly four days since that fateful night where two lovers were exposed and three hearts were broken. Three shows had been canceled, but the fans were told that it was only due to a bout of flu that was sweeping through the tour and that their tickets would be valid for a different date.
Management had not made an official statement regarding Nick’s rash decision, thinking it best to give him time to cool off and to try and convince him to change his mind. Rumors had begun to swirl on the internet, spreading like wild fire from message board to message board. With how many people were present when the meltdown had occurred, it was only a matter of time before the truth really got out. Fans weren’t pleased however; they were terrified, upset, and absolutely livid. Everyone was waiting impatiently for an official statement, and even though they were antsy to really know if the rumors of the Backstreet Boys demise were true, they still prayed that they were just that – rumors.
The tour was at a standstill. With no shows to do, the crew was waiting in limbo. Since the incident happened in New York City, the management team decided to set up everybody in a couple of hotels across Manhattan until everything was worked out. They were losing money, but they were too focused on fixing the dilemma to really care.
Considering the circumstances, management had put Leslie in her own room not only for her privacy and also to uphold the professionalism of the tour. They knew that she would be badgered, and they didn’t want a lawsuit on their hands if something got out of hand.
Leslie had only left the room a total of three times in the past four days, and it was only to quickly run to the ice machine to stock up. She had no desire to face anybody. Her cell phone was ringing constantly, but she only ignored it. The majority of the calls were from Brian, then her sister, and then her parents, but none were from Nick. She had tried calling him a few times, but each time she did, his phone went straight to voicemail. She grew more and more discouraged as the hours passed. She felt like her entire life was over.
She could only lie in bed, staring at the white plastered walls with her tear filled eyes. She was exhausted but she couldn’t sleep. Her mind was constantly reliving that horrible night. Over and over again she saw Nick’s face when he had figured out who she had cheated on him with. Over and over again she saw Nick’s tears and his disbelief and his pain. Over and over again she replayed Nick’s fury being unleashed on her silent lover.
Each time she tried and pushed these thoughts aside, for her heart ached terribly at the fact that it was all her fault. Ever since she was a little girl, her mother always told her that when she was feeling sad to just concentrate on something that made her happy. The problem was that what made her happy was Brian, and thinking of him was just as upsetting as thinking of how much she had hurt Nick. So all she could do was lie there alone and just take the pain. She told herself that she deserved it. For all the horrible things she had done, she knew that she didn’t deserve happiness.
After Leslie had left Brian, Leighanne, Rachel, and Kristin in the hallway, Brian had to endure Leighanne’s wrath. Rachel and Kristin had both given up. They both looked at Brian with a mixture of sympathy and anger and ultimately left the two to battle it out in the hallway. Leighanne gave no indication that she knew of Brian’s treachery until that night. The fact that Brian had cheated on her had numbed her to the entire situation, but the fact that he blatantly announced to everyone that he was in love with Leslie was something she couldn’t handle. She felt like she was losing this uphill battle. She reasoned that he just didn’t realize how good he had it and that maybe if she threatened to leave him he would straighten up, so she commenced to scream at him about what a horrible person he was and how she’s always been a good girlfriend to him. How could he do that to her? Didn’t he love her? She was carrying his child… did that mean nothing to him? They were getting married!
With Leighanne yelling at him, all Brian could do was stand there and take it. He barely flinched and he barely reacted. With Leighanne standing there in front of him, he still found his mind still on Leslie and their last conversation. He only found the energy to respond every so often. When she had finally threatened to leave him, he told her to go ahead and that he didn’t care. He’d be there for the baby, but that was it – he was done.
Leighanne was shocked at this and to only add fuel to the fire, she had stepped forward and slapped him. With that she had turned and walked away. When Brian got back to the hotel that night, he found that she had taken all of her things and had left. Brian was relieved, but at the same time saddened. Everything was ending for him that night. He was alone... so utterly alone.
As for the rest the guys, all they could do was sit still and wait. Kevin had opted to stay and help, but both AJ and Howie told him that he should go. He didn’t need to stress out over something that he wasn’t exactly involved with anymore. So with reluctance, both Kristin and Kevin flew back home, leaving AJ and Howie to scramble around to try and figure out what to do.
AJ, feeling some guilt from the situation, finally admitted to Howie that he had known about Leslie and Brian for quite sometime. He feared that Howie would get angry and he was surprised when he didn’t. All Howie could do was nod his head sadly and admit himself that he had a sneaking suspicion that it was going on near the beginning of the tour and that he was only in denial. AJ asked him if it was wrong of him not to have told Nick and Howie told him that it wasn’t. It was a personal issue that toppled over into their professional careers and that it was no fault of his. As much as they wanted to hate Brian for causing such a major dissention, they couldn’t. There was no point in causing more drama than there already was. If they had any chance of getting the band back on track, they would both have to take a nonbiased position and stay calm.
The only problem in fixing everything was Nick. He had immediately disappeared after he left the event center. Howie and AJ had caught up to him but he was too infuriated, too broken, to talk anything out. He only shrugged both men off and yelled at them to leave him alone. Various people, including AJ and Howie, had been frantically trying to get a hold of him to make sure that he was okay, but everyone had failed. No one knew where he was and everyone was beginning to accept the fact that the Backstreet Boys were really over.
The Next Day
Everybody’s been talking,
They say our love wasn’t real…
Brian’s hands were clammy. The small room seemed to be closing in on him. He could feel AJ shift nervously next to him and he could sense Howie’s eyes boring into him from across the table. He was nauseous. He was sweating.
AJ and Howie hadn’t said a word to him since they had all sat down. They had only briefly talked over the past few days, but they had stayed away from the touchy topic. It was mainly small talk. It was tense. It was fake. They were all walking on eggshells around each other.
AJ had actually finally gotten in touch with Nick the day before. Nick had flown down to Florida to get away from everything. The anger was no longer evident in Nick’s voice, but the sadness there was stifling. AJ’s heart went out to his heartbroken friend and they had a long conversation about the band and the future. AJ had tried to convince Nick to stick it out for the rest of the tour, if not for him, then for the fans. In the end, AJ got Nick to agree to a meeting, where they would lay out everything on the table and set down some ground rules. Nick just had to fly out to New York to get it done.
When Brian heard that Nick had agreed to a meeting, he had to sit down in fear of passing out. All color had drained from his face as he spoke to AJ over the phone. He was completely terrified at what would go down.
So after a long night of no sleep, here the three of them sat waiting patiently for both Ken, their tour manager, and Nick. When the doors did open, all three of their heads snapped in their direction. At the very sight of Nick, Brian had to turn his head away. Nick had made no move to make any eye contact with him, let alone acknowledge his existence. The happy, vibrant man that was normally present was no longer there. His face was sullen, his body was hunched over. He looked like a complete mess and Brian felt guilt pierce him painfully.
“Mornin’ guys,” Ken said tentatively as he sat at the head of the table. Nick took a seat next to Howie and turned his attention to Ken, waiting patiently. Brian could see the muscles in Nick’s jaw twitch and he knew immediately that he was trying to hold back his anger.
That it would soon be over,
That’s not the way I feel…
Howie mumbled a good morning back but no one else made a move to speak. The tension in the air was stifling. Brian felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Ken sighed and looked between the four men. He took a moment before speaking up, his voice cracking through the silent air, “So we all know why we’re here.”
Ken took a deep breath before continuing on cautiously, “We all understand that you’re angry right now Nick and you have every right to be.”
Suddenly Nick snorted with laughter and everyone turned to him nervously. Ken tried to push forward, “But we have to think professionally right now. We’re in the middle of a tour, we’re losing money daily, and the fans…”
AJ interrupted, “You don’t need to go over this. We already know. Nick knows.”
But I don’t worry honey,
Let them say what they will…
Ken nodded, pursing his lips, “Alright then. We have to decide how we’re going to move forward, if we’re going to move forward at all.”
When he paused, all eyes gently roamed over Nick, waiting to see if he would jump in, but all Nick did was stare down at the table, picking at the wood absentmindedly. After a few moments of no one speaking, Ken let out a heavy sigh. This meeting was going no where. How were they supposed to resolve anything if no one would talk?
“Nick, do you have anything you want to say?” Ken asked.
Brian’s heart was pounding. The seconds seemed to tick by achingly slow. When Nick finally spoke, Brian’s stomach lurched uncomfortably.
Nick clenched his jaw once more before mumbling, “Just bring her in here.”
Her? Her? Brian was terrified.
Come on and stick with me baby,
We’ll find a way,
Yes, we’ll find a way...
Ken nodded solemnly and looked towards the door and found his assistant Bonnie standing there uneasily, waiting to be told what to do. When he nodded in her direction, she nodded back and exited the room briefly.
“You’re not serious,” AJ’s voice brok through the tension filled air like a knife.
Brian suddenly felt dizzy. When the door opened once again, everyone but Nick turned to look. Leslie slipped into the room, her head down, her demeanor shy and scared. She looked ragged, nothing like she normally did. Brian’s heart went out to her immediately. His innate need to protect her kicked in. On one side he was relieved to see her standing there, for his attempts at getting a hold of her these past few days had been in vain, but on the other hand her appearance saddened him greatly. Had his selfishness really caused all this pain?
“Please take a seat Ms. Baker,” Ken said gently. Leslie didn’t make eye contact with anyone as she sat at the other end of the table. Brian tried not to make it obvious that he was staring at her but he knew he was failing. Was it really Nick’s decision to have her come here? How cruel could he be? Brian didn’t feel it appropriate to drag her here in the midst of all this, but he knew he was in no position to really speak up about it.
Everybody’s been talking,
Yes, news travels fast…
The room fell silent once again. The awkwardness was increasing by the second. Everyone felt like screaming.
Leslie could feel all eyes on her, except for Nick’s. She avoided all eye contact. She was beyond uncomfortable. She didn’t understand why she was brought here. She didn’t find out until she was in the waiting room that she would be attending the meeting with all the guys. She wondered what good she would do. If anything, she’d only make things worse. She didn’t feel that it was her place to be present at something so important, but then again, she did have a hand in why they were having the meeting in the first place. She just hated that this was happening at all.
“Thank you for coming Leslie,” Ken addressed her less formally and this calmed her slightly.
Leslie licked her lips nervously, seeing everyone around the table shift uneasily.
“Is there anything you would like to say?” Ken asked.
What a way to put her on the spot. Was there anything she wanted to say? Of course there was, but that didn’t get rid of the fact that she was blindsided. She didn’t know how to organize her thoughts to even begin to say what she wanted, what she needed, to say.
Her voice cracked when she spoke, and her eyes immediately found Nick, who was trying his hardest not to look at her.
“I just wanted to say…” she raised her voice slightly, the scared and shy little girl within her shining brightly, “I just want to say that I’m sorry.”
They said the fire would stop burning,
That the flame wouldn’t last…
Brian felt the need to jump in to her defense. The way they were going about this didn’t feel right. It was like they were pushing all blame on her and that wasn’t the case. He was as much a part of this as she was. It took two of them to do what they did. It took both of them to generate as much love as there was between them.
“She’s not at fault here,” Brian spoke up.
Everyone was shocked to hear him speak. All heads turned towards him, including Nick’s, whose eyes flashed angrily. Brian continued to speak but Nick immediately cut him off, “Shut up Rok. This isn’t about you right now.”
“I’m not saying that it is,” Brian said defensively.
AJ saw Nick’s fury begin to boil and he jumped in quickly, “Look, let’s just both shut up. Fighting right now isn’t going to solve anything.”
“Then what do we suggest we do?” Howie asked.
AJ sighed and turned to Nick, “Nick, we’re here for you man. What do you want to come out of this? Do you still want to be with the band?”
Nick slowly nodded and AJ blew a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to continue but Nick interjected, “But I want her gone.” He jabbed his finger in Leslie’s direction. She flinched at the suddenness of it. Everyone in the room stopped moving and grew incredibly silent. Brian’s heart hurt terribly.
But I don’t worry honey,
Let them say what they will…
“Gone?” Ken asked.
“I want her off the tour,” Nick said matter-of-factly.
Ken turned his gaze over to Leslie sympathetically until he nodded slowly, “Alright Nick, if that’s what it takes…”
Brian was frantic. They were kicking her off the tour? But that wasn’t fair! She was his biggest ally right now. They had to stick together. If she left, he would be completely alone, but he also knew that if she didn’t go, the Backstreet Boys had no future.
Brian turned to look at Leslie and found her staring at him sadly. His face softened and he sent all the love he could muster her way in the hopes that she would sense and find strength from it.
“Leslie… Ms. Baker… I’m sorry,” Ken began.
“Don’t say sorry,” Nick spat. “She dug her own fucking grave. The only way I’m staying is if she’s gone. Don’t make it a big deal because it isn’t. After this tour though, I’m through.” Nick turned his attention to Brian, “And don’t fucking talk to me. The only time I want to see you is when we’re on stage or at a press junket. Don’t pretend everything’s okay because it isn’t. You fucked my girlfriend and that makes you number one on my shit list. I’m not staying to save face or to make it seem that what you did was okay, because it isn’t. I’m staying because I’ve never quit anything and I’m not about to quit this. I owe it to the fans to finish it out. But this is on your hands Brian, not mine, not AJ’s, and not Howie’s. This is YOUR fault.”
Come on and stick with me baby,
We’ll find a way…
“You can’t just blame everything on him,” Leslie spoke up.
Nick snapped his head towards her, “Leslie, baby" the way he said 'baby' so icily made tears come to Leslie's eyes, "Who said anything about your word being at all legitimate? You fail to forget that we’ve known each other a decade more than any of us have known you.”
Leslie’s face fell immediately. Everyone in the room could hear her heart break. He was acting as if the relationship they once had meant nothing to him. She had no idea he could be this cruel, especially to her. Did he love her? Was it possible for him to love her and spit such venom? She understood his anger, but she didn’t understand how he could be so cold towards her. She felt like she didn’t matter; she felt like she never did.
He addressed her still, “Your plane leaves at 5 o’clock tomorrow morning.”
“Nick…” Howie began tentatively, trying to figure out a way to get rid of all the animosity.
“Don’t start Howie,” Nick snapped.
“For the love of God Nick, we didn’t do this on purpose!” Brian burst. “It’s not like we sat around planning this entire thing. It just fucking happened. We never intended to hurt you!”
“Well, you did,” Nick glared. Everyone could tell that he was quickly losing control. The anger that was driving him was dissipating and the sadness that was deep within him was beginning to surface. “And it’s done. But if you don’t shut up, I’m going to change my mind about all of this. You’re walking on thin ice pal.”
Brian opened his mouth to retort, his frustration and anger rising, but he stopped when he felt AJ’s hand press firmly on his arm. AJ said softly, “Just stop Bri.”
Yes, we’ll find a way…
Brian grumbled and turned his head away. He felt like he was under attack; that his love for this woman was being torn to pieces. He couldn’t even defend himself. He couldn’t defend his actions or his feelings, because if he did, it would only infuriate Nick more, which would ultimately have him leave for good. He couldn’t risk that, as much as he may have wanted to. He loved Leslie dearly, but he had to think of someone more than himself right then. It was a horrible feeling being forced to choose between the woman he loved and the friend's he had known since as long as he could remember.
Ken looked around sadly at the room, “It’s a shame that you all have come to this, but Nick, I’m happy that you’ve decided to stay with us for the remaining of the tour.”
Tears were quickly springing to Nick’s eyes and he tried his best to keep them away from meeting anyone’s. He needed to get out of there. He thought that he would be able to handle this entire thing. He thought that bringing Leslie there to tell her himself, in front of everyone, that he wanted her to leave, would empower him in a way. He thought that it would make him feel better, but something unexpected happened. Instead of feeling better, instead of feeling like he had gotten her back slightly by firing her, he felt the complete opposite – he felt incredibly sad. He felt an incredible sense of loss.
Come on and stick with me baby,
Come on and stick with me baby…
He pushed back his chair and stood up. He mumbled “5 o’clock” to reiterate to Leslie that he wanted her gone before exiting the room. No one made a move to stop him. There was no need to. Though he had agreed to stay angrily and reluctantly, the fact was that he was staying and at that moment, that’s what mattered most.
Ken cleared his throat, feeling unsatisfied with how the meeting went, “Well… I guess that’s it.”
Slowly, Ken, Bonnie, AJ, and Howie filtered out of the room. Leslie and Brian still sat silently and uncomfortably. They only glanced at each other every so often until Leslie stood up. She lingered for a few moments before saying, “I guess I’ll see you around.”
Brian raised his head to meet his eyes with hers. He could tell that she didn’t want to get into anything extensive. He wanted to talk to her more extensively – to sit her down and talk about them, to try and convince her that they could be together if they just worked at it, but he could see that all she wanted was for him to respond simply. She didn’t need anything more complicated at that moment. So he did just that. He gave her what she needed, “Yeah… I’ll see you around.”
She smiled lightly at him, showing him that she had accepted her fate. She would bow out quietly, for she had caused enough drama already to really fight for her place. The punishment being dealt to her was rightfully deserved.
She waved at him slightly before exiting the room, leaving Brian alone, both physically and emotionally. He began to question if this was truly the end for them, and the very thought of this notion made him want to cry.
Come on and stick with me baby,
Come on and stick with me baby,
Come on and stick with me baby…
Song and Lyrics by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss – “Stick With Me Baby”
