The way they hit her I just stop and stare
I'm love stoned from everywhere and she knows, I think that she knows
And now I walk around without a care
She's got me hooked, it just ain't fair
I'm love stoned and I could swear that she knows
I think that she knows, she knows
~Love Stoned by Justin Timberlake
A Week and a Half Later
“You up babe?” Nick tried to get out between the froth of toothpaste in his mouth, coming out of the bathroom, glancing around the room. He found Leslie still in bed, sitting upright, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She groaned and looked over at him pouting. He quickly went back into the bathroom, spit, and washed his mouth out.
“Do you need me to throw you in the shower?” he asked, emerging from the bathroom and walking over to where she sat beneath the covers.
She eyed him, as if daring him to do so to see what would happen. He smiled anyway, reaching his hand to push some hair out of her eyes, “I know it’s early, but we gotta get going.”
Leslie looked over at the clock and saw 7am glaring at her. She was upset that she had to get up this early, especially since Nick and her didn’t get to bed until 2, for certain naughty unspeakable reasons.
Nick leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth, “Up you go. I’ll go make us some breakfast.”
Leslie nodded and watched as Nick left the room. She sighed and finally threw the covers off of herself. She immediately regretted this rash decision, shivering when the cold air hit her bare body. She quickly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom, starting up the warm shower. She jumped in, relishing the feel of the hot water as it ran down her. She closed her eyes and just stood there, awakening more and more by the second.
She started smiling about the night before and found her mind wandering to all the intimate moments she had been sharing with Nick, physically and emotionally. He was turning out to be a better man than she had ever imagined. He was everything she could ask for and more. She knew she was lucky to have snagged him, and it wasn’t just the fact that she snatched him as a boyfriend, but the fact that she had somehow managed to get him to fall in love with her. He hadn’t told her yet, but she knew. It was in the little things he said and did. It was in his eyes every time he looked at her.
She felt like she should be rejoicing right now, telling everyone she could that Nick Carter loved her. But then why did she feel so terrible about it?
She cared for him deeply and she adored everything about him, but did she love him? She knew she didn’t, because love should be unquestionable. She knew she could love him though, and she was well on the road to that, but the simple fact remained that when she closed her eyes at night, she wasn’t dreaming of him. She was dreaming of an untouchable blue eyed man that had somehow crept into her heart. He was haunting her, but she didn’t want it to stop.
It was this same man that brought a smile to her face then. She hadn’t seen him in nearly two weeks, but today she knew she would. Today was the beginning of dance rehearsals and she found herself giddy at the thought of seeing him, though the guilt that accompanied it was just as significant, but just as easily pushed away.
Brian was stretching over by AJ, scanning the room every so often, but trying not to make it too obvious that he was clearly looking for someone. AJ was in the middle of a story, and where Howie was listening intently to him, Brian only caught little snippets every now and then. He was clearly distracted and AJ was beginning to get a little annoyed.
“Yo Bri, are you with us?” he asked, leaning over from his stretch and smacking Brian’s arm.
Brian tore his eyes away from the dispersed group of people in the studio and looked over at AJ, “What?”
“You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying,” AJ accused.
Brian raised his eyebrows, “Am too.”
“Are not. Then what did I just say?” AJ asked.
Brian scrambled, trying to put small bits of the story together, “That Rachel was hitting on some other guy last night?”
AJ stared at him intently, “What a vague description. Just admit it Bri. What’s going on with you this morning?”
Brian shrugged, “Just tired I suppose. Leighanne was up late reading over a script and the rustling of the papers was driving me crazy.”
“Why didn’t you tell her to go somewhere else?” Howie asked.
Brian looked over at him, realizing the obviousness of that statement, but also the idiocy of it as well, “And piss her off? I’d rather stay awake all night then do that. She’s got that whole passive aggressive thing going.”
AJ laughed, “Oh, Rachel’s like that too. They act like everything’s fine, but you know damn well that it’s not, so you’re just sitting there waiting for something to happen, because you know it will. And that’s part of their plan too. They make you wait so it builds up until you get all nervous and twitchy. Then they pounce. They wait for the most opportune moment to spit something out that just cuts you right down to the bone. I swear man, it’s an exact science. Women are fucking vindictive.”
“Leigh’s not like that with me,” Howie stated.
AJ and Brian looked over at Howie and both said in unison, “Yet.”
Both Brian and AJ laughed as AJ clapped Howie on the back. Howie rolled his eyes and continued to stretch. Brian once again turned his attention back to the room, scanning the dancers. Leslie hadn’t shown up yet and he was growing more anxious by the second. He hadn’t seen her since the dinner, but everyday he thought about her, whether he wanted to or not. She was always there and no matter how hard he tried to push her out of his thoughts, she kept springing back up.
The door opened then and Nick’s smiling face waltzed through. Brian’s heart rose in anticipation when he heard the door open, but then fell when he only saw Nick.
Nick spotted them and quickly jogged over, setting down his bag, “You ready for this?”
AJ stood up, shaking his head, “I don’t know how you can be so stoked for this.”
“What? This is always fun. It’s hard, but fun. Plus, I'm ready to show off my mad skills!” Nick beamed.
The door then opened again and Leslie walked through, looking over the room as she closed the door behind her. Brian’s heart skipped a beat as he saw her, unprepared for her entrance. He immediately noticed her Nike tear-a-ways and her black sports bra, showing off her toned stomach perfectly, and an unexpected lump formed in his throat.
She saw them and smiled. She greeted the other dancers and then approached them, waving at them all.
AJ immediately grabbed her and wrapped her in a hug, “Don’t be shy honey. It’s good to see you again.”
She laughed, hugging him back, “It’s nice to see you again too AJ. You too Howie,” she continued, wrapping Howie in a hug next.
She then turned to Brian and became a bit shy. He didn’t realize how his hands had turned clammy or how hard he swallowed when she approached him. All his thoughts were on her and how beautiful she was.
When her arms found their way around his stomach, he wrapped his arms around her and breathed in, loving the way she smelled. He relished how close he was to her. Leslie closed her eyes, loving how his arms felt around her, strong and secure. The two of them stood there for a few moments and Leslie finally realized the extent of their embrace.
“Nice to see you again Brian,” she finally said softly.
Brian nodded, using that as a cue to pull away from her, though he could have stood like that all day, “It’s good to see you too.”
They smiled at each other, finding it hard to look away. Nick was digging through his bag trying to find his water, and Howie was eyeing the other dancers, but AJ had noticed the unusual embrace, and the longer than normal stare afterwards. He didn’t know what to make of it and decided that his mind was making something out of nothing, blaming it on how early it was.
Everyone suddenly snapped out of their thoughts when one of the choreographer’s, Charm, yelled out, “Oy!”
The entire room looked in her direction. When she was satisfied that she got everyone’s attention, she continued, “I just noticed the last few stragglers finally come in. So lets begin.”
Everyone moved towards her, “So thanks for coming out this early, but Caitlin and I only have two weeks to put all this together before the boys here go off on their promotional tour. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I think we’re going to have a lot of fun. We’re going to do a mixture of new stuff and the classic old stuff. But before all that, we have a few rules to start out with. First off, if you feel like you’re going to barf, please don’t just stand there and let it happen. Just leave and do your business. You'd think that'd be common sense but surprisingly, through past experience, it's not. Also, no bitching. It doesn’t help dancing for five hours straight and having someone complaining in your ear the entire time. And finally, please, for the love of God, just have fun.”
Caitlin then jumped in, “So, I think we’re going to start out with ‘Everything But Mine’. It’s going to mainly be just single choreography but there’s going to be some couple dancing for the last chorus or so. We randomly assigned a few of the girls to dance with you guys. Camille and Howie, Melissa and AJ, and Nick, considering your girlfriend is part of the show, we figured it would be too much of a distraction for you and her to be paired up, so we’re putting you and Ashley together, so Brian and Leslie should go well.”
Both Leslie and Brian’s hearts stopped for an instant after hearing those words. It was both unexpected and cruel. Leslie looked over at Nick to see his reaction and though he seemed to be a bit disappointed, he didn’t seem to be too put off by it. Relief started to wash over her, but that suddenly stopped when she realized the trouble this could eventually cause her. She looked over at Brian then and found him staring back at her. He quickly looked away, trying to compose himself. He kept thinking to himself how glad he was Leighanne didn’t tag along today. She was always good at reading his mannerisms and facial expressions. If she were here she would automatically detect both his nervousness and excitement and knew that she could trace those feelings back to the fact that Leslie was paired up with him.
Caitlin began to speak once more, “So Beth and Tina, you two are out of the couple’s routine, but will continue to dance in the back with the other boys.”
Charm commenced telling everyone what positions they would stand in. Howie, AJ, Brian, and Nick were obviously put in the front, with the four main girls behind each of their assigned partners. A mixture of the rest of the boys and girls were put further back, forming a perfect spaced out dancing area.
Caitlin stood in front of them all, facing the mirror so they could all see her in order to do the movements in the correct direction.
For over three hours they focused on the singles choreography; stepping, spinning, jumping, and everything in between. Brian kept sneaking glances at Leslie in the mirror. He watched as her body seemed to take to the movements like a fish to water, and it only made him work harder. He wanted to be up to par with her. He felt like he had something to prove. He felt like he needed to impress her.
Leslie herself kept catching glimpses of Brian staring at her through the routine, but every time he saw her looking at him, he would quickly look away. Each time this happened, a small smile formed on her lips. She didn’t know why he kept stealing glances at her, or why he kept looking away, afraid that she had seen him looking, but she liked it. She liked it a lot. But at the same time, Nick was doing the same thing, except he wouldn’t look away when she’d glance at him. He’d only smile and wink, continuing to dance. This tore down her high until she’d see Brian looking once again. It was a never ending cycle and it made her extremely unfocused. The routine was simple compared to some of her past ones, but the emotional tug-a-war within her was exhausting her, making it hard to get the moves down as quickly as she wanted to.
Finally, Caitlin allowed for a 10 minute break, so everyone immediately dispersed in search of towels and water. Brian noticed Nick exit the room for a restroom break and turned his attention to Leslie who was at the back of the room, drinking from a Nalgene. He knew that he shouldn’t go and talk to her, but he couldn’t contain himself. He had wanted to speak with her since she walked into the room that morning but he hadn’t had time to, so he used this as his chance.
“You’re doing great,” Brian commented.
Leslie looked over at Brian and smiled, “You are too. You got some smooth moves there Littrell.”
“Nah, I’m out of shape. It’s been awhile,” he said.
She nodded, swallowing the rest of the water in her mouth, “You don’t show it. Honestly. I’m impressed.”
Brian’s heart soared at her words, “Thanks Leslie, I appreciate that. You excited for the tour to start?”
She nodded, “Definitely. I think it should be a lot of fun. I’ve done a few tours but this one will be different I think. Your guys’ fans are so incredibly dedicated, so it will be cool to be apart of something that’s a little more intimate.”
Brian was pleased with her words, “You won’t be disappointed, I promise. We have a lot of good times. We’re a family. I just want you to know that you’re part of that now.”
She smiled warmly at him, “Thanks Bri.”
“And if you ever need someone to smack Nick back in line, I’m only a phone call away.”
Leslie laughed, “Oh, don’t worry about that. I can keep him in check.”
“Hey, I’m just sayin’, he can be a handful at times.”
“I can only imagine,” she winked. “But I’ve been meaning to tell you how much I love Leighanne. She’s gorgeous Brian.”
“She is, I’d have to agree,” he responded, though he immediately thought of how beautiful Leslie was.
Leslie actually felt self conscious all of a sudden, realizing how sweaty and unkempt she looked, but felt better, though shocked, when Brian spoke up again, “You look very pretty today yourself.”
“I do not,” Leslie said, looking away from him.
“No, really, you do. I don’t know how you do it, but you make sweaty look good,” Brian stated. He was shocked at what he just said and it was evident all over his face.
Leslie was definitely taken aback, but smiled, blushing, “Well, so do you Brian.”
There was an awkward silence between them where they only stared at one another. Nick suddenly pushed between the two of them, reaching down for his water. He stood back up staring at the two of them. Both Leslie and Brian looked away from each other quickly, both turning beat red.
“What’s up?” Nick asked, looking at the two of them strangely.
Leslie spoke up, fanning herself, “It’s hot as hell in here, that’s what.”
Nick leaned in and kissed her, “Just cause you’re here.”
Brian rolled his eyes, “Make me hurl already.”
“Shut up man, I had to endure this with you and Leighanne for years. It’s your turn to be tortured.”
And torture it was, because Brian longed to be the one kissing Leslie. He hated himself for this. He hated wanting anything to do with a woman that wasn’t Leighanne. He loved Leighanne dearly, but Leslie had an affect on him that he never expected. He hated it, but loved it at the same time. He had never anticipated such a conflict.
As the day progressed, the couple’s routine of the song was brought into the mix, and it only confused Brian more. Before, he thought that his feelings were only shared by him. He thought that in due time, he could get over this weird obsession he had for Leslie. He thought that it was only a passing phase that would fade, but as him and Leslie touched and moved with one another, he began to think things differently. The way his hands trailed over her soft skin only amplified the situation a hundred times more than it should have been. Where he normally learned routines easily, he was now finding it hard to concentrate more than ever. Having Leslie that close to him for that long clouded his brain. Having Leslie that close to him for that long only seemed to make his feelings for her grow stronger. He flat out wanted her. He just had no idea that Leslie was thinking all the same thoughts as he was. Leslie was having just as much trouble with her feelings.
But what really iced the proverbial cake was that whenever Leslie and Brian made eye contact, Brian and Leslie both saw the feelings within them reflected right back through his or her eyes. They both knew then that their feelings weren’t just theirs alone. They knew then that this wasn’t just a passing phase. They knew then that this was going to be a problem. One huge adulterous problem.
