~William Shakespeare
As Nick walked through his front door, he immediately noticed the smell of food being cooked in the kitchen. Curious, he laid down his bag, set down his keys, and followed the aroma. When the kitchen came into view, he saw Leslie facing away from him, slowly stirring something on the stove.
“Hey, baby, what you doing?” Nick asked, approaching Leslie. He rubbed her back and kissed her neck.
She turned to him and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him to her close, “I wanted to surprise you.”
Nick looked over at the cooking noodles on the stove, “You didn’t have to do this.”
Leslie shook her head, kissing him softly on the lips, “I wanted to. You’ve been working so hard lately, what with dance rehearsals and getting ready for the tour, and I wanted to do something for you for once.”
Nick’s heart melted at the woman standing in front of him. He couldn’t have asked for anything more when it came to a girlfriend. He hadn’t even expected to see her today. The past few days have only been dance rehearsals for him and the guys, so all the backup dancers have had a couple days off. He figured Leslie would be out and about.
“Plus, I feel like I’ve been distant lately, and I haven’t meant to be. I feel terrible about it,” she said, wrapping him in a hug.
The truth of the matter is that she had been distant. Not significantly, but enough for him to notice.
“It’s okay, I know you’ve been working just as hard as me,” he said, hugging her back.
She shook her head, “I just want to tell you I’m sorry and this here is my little piece offering.”
She motioned towards the food around the kitchen and Nick looked around, noticing all she had prepared, “What did you cook?”
“Baked penne pasta, salad, and for dessert, I got a little something special for you,” she winked.
She began to walk away but Nick grabbed her waist and pulled her to him, kissing her softly. She kissed back, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He pulled away and said softly, “I’m lucky to have you.”
“I’m lucky to have you too Nicky,” she softly whispered back.
And she meant it. She’d be trying to push all her Brian feelings aside, though it had been hard, especially with how close she’d been working with him lately. She realized that her feelings for Brian could never be acted on, even if it did seem that he had the same ones for her. The fact of the matter was that she was happy with Nick, and Brian was getting married, so why jeopardize that? It would have been stupid to, so it seemed for the time being, Brian and her had an unspoken agreement. They were strictly friends.
Nick finally pulled away, smiling at her, and went to the fridge, pulling out a beer.
Leslie looked after him, “How was it today?”
Nick shrugged, popping off the cap, “Not so bad. We’ve gotten a lot down. It was just a bit annoying today cause Leighanne stopped by for a little while.”
Leslie took the pot off the stove and began to drain the water, “Why was it annoying?”
“She was on the phone nearly the entire time talking about wedding this and wedding that. It was obnoxious. And when she wasn’t on the phone, she kept making comments on the dance moves.”
“What sort of comments?”
“Just suggestions on what she thought would look good. Charm and Caitlin weren’t pleased, which I can’t blame them. It was their toes being stepped on. It was kind of insulting.”
“Did Brian do anything about it?”
“Nah, but I can’t blame him for it. It would have just been awkward.”
Leslie nodded, “That’s understandable.”
“I guess, but I don’t know, I’m getting weird vibes from them.”
Leslie looked over at Nick quickly, “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Brian just seems different with her, but I guess that’s expected. She’s changed a bit.”
“How so?” Leslie was intrigued.
“She’s so wrapped up in this wedding that she doesn’t seem to have time or room for anything else. I was talking to Brian the other day and he feels like there’s some separation between them now. He’s upset about it, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up with Leigh. It’s sad really.”
“You’d think he’d be excited about the wedding too.”
“Well, he is, but I don’t think it’s what he expected. I’m sure it’s just a bit of cold feet. I keep telling him it’s completely natural, but I feel bad for him all the same.”
“He should be fine. I wouldn’t worry about it Nick. He’s grown enough to know what he wants and if what he’s doing is right. I’m sure they’ll work things out. They’ve been together long enough to.”
“I suppose you’re right,” he smiled lightly, approaching Leslie once more and planting a few more kisses on her lips.
“I can’t believe you convinced me to come lift weights with you after an entire day of dancing non-stop,” Brian grumbled as he spotted AJ’s bench presses.
AJ breathed out, “Might as well man. Besides, it only makes dancing that much easier.”
They didn’t say anything to each other for a few moments. AJ kept pressing up on the bar, Brian still making sure to keep his hands lightly on the bar in case it dropped.
Brian tentatively started up the conversation again, “I got a weird question for you.”
“Shoot, I’m the King of Weird my friend,” AJ breathed out.
“Well, this is a really stupid question. It’s just hypothetical…” Brian began to babble.
AJ grunted, “Spit it out already!”
“Have you ever been attracted to any of our girlfriends?” Brian pushed out.
AJ stopped momentarily and stared at Brian, amused, “Say that again?”
Brian rolled his eyes, “You heard me the first time, so answer the damn question.”
AJ laughed, “Alright, alright. Yeah, I have. Leighanne’s hot as hell, Sam was pretty good looking too, and Kristin’s gorgeous.”
Brian had expected this answer, and didn’t know why he even felt the need to ask AJ in the first place. Maybe it was some small glimpse of hope that AJ would miraculously make him feel better about the Leslie situation. And it really was a situation. He hadn’t seen her in a couple of days, but before that, they saw a lot of each other through dance rehearsals. They were secretly having an emotional affair, though it was never spoken of between the two of them. He knew she was having trouble dealing with her feelings, just as he was. He knew that she cared for Nick, and he felt bad having to put a kink in their relationship. It was never on purpose.
He even felt worse that it was Nick, his best friend. He never wanted to do anything to hurt him and he clearly loved Leslie. This situation, on top of his growing problems with Leighanne, was all enough to make him have a nervous breakdown.
“That’s not what you meant was it?” AJ asked.
Brian was torn away from his thoughts, “What?”
“My answer, it’s not what you meant for me to say,” AJ repeated.
Brian shook his head, “I guess not, but I don’t know what else I’d want you to say.”
“To be honest Rok, I had feelings for Leigh,” AJ stated, still pushing the bar up and down.
“My Leigh or Howie’s?”
“Howie’s,” he clarified.
Brian was surprised at this and AJ saw this clearly etched on Brian’s face.
He quickly continued, “You can’t tell him, or anyone for that matter.”
“I won’t. But do you still?” Brian asked.
“Maybe a little bit.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Hide it so well?”
AJ thought about it for a moment and then said, “I never thought about hiding it. I always felt bad about it, but I knew I couldn’t act on those feelings. Besides, I knew she didn’t feel for me in that way. It’s Howie’s girl man, I wasn’t going to mess with that. My feelings have definitely subsided over the years, and now I have Rachel, so it’s not that big of a deal.”
Brian nodded but didn’t say anything. AJ noticed and asked, “Why do you ask?”
Brian shrugged, “No reason.”
AJ laughed, “Yeah right. It’s kind of a random question to just be throwing out for shits and giggles. There has to be some basis for it.”
“There’s really not. I was just curious.”
“Uh huh.”
Brian hadn’t wanted to ask this next question, but he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t. He wanted to at least get things sort of out in the open, “What would you have done if you knew Leigh liked you back?”
“Good question and I don’t know. Still probably nothing. Howie loved her and I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.”
“But what if, hypothetically, you two were meant to get together?”
“I don’t know Rok. That’s just getting a bit too complicated for me. I have to be thankful that it wasn’t that way. Dipping into your friend’s goodies is always a hazy subject. I’ve always tried to avoid it. But hell, not like you have anything to worry about with Leighanne.”
Brian knew that the conversation couldn’t have gone any further without it beginning to be obvious that there was definitely an ulterior motive. He decided to change the subject while he still could.
“Speaking of Leighanne, sorry about today,” Brian stated.
AJ pushed up on the bar once more and paused, “Sorry about what?”
“Leigh. I don’t know what was with her today.”
AJ rolled his eyes, “Women are like that. They have off days. It’s nothing to apologize over.”
“It was still unnecessary. And besides, Leighanne isn’t like most women. She would have never been like this before. She used to be so carefree and now she’s just…”
“Just what?”
“Boring,” Brian let out.
It sounded harsh but it was the perfect word to describe how Leighanne had become. She was boring now. She never wanted to do anything fun anymore, unless it had something to do with the wedding. Brian didn’t understand how something that was supposed to be a time of celebration and excitement could change her the way it did. They barely had any real time alone anymore without some marriage subject getting thrown into the mix. He can’t even remember the last time they had a real date, or the last time they had made love and it actually meaning something.
AJ finally pushed on the bar one more time, letting out a grunt. Brian grabbed the bar and set it in its notches.
AJ sat up, looking over at Brian, “I was wondering when you were going to bring this up to me.”
“What do you mean?” Brian asked, a bit confused at his comment.
“It’s obvious you two aren’t happy,” AJ stated.
“I wouldn’t say we aren’t happy bone,” Brian quickly responded.
AJ shook his head, “You might not think you’re unhappy, but you are. I would be too. You’ve been with her for what, three years?” Brian nodded and AJ continued, “That’s a long fucking time Rok. I’ve always loved Leighanne, don’t get me wrong, but something’s definitely changed in her. I can’t blame you for pulling away like you have, but if you want to be with her, you need to sit her down and talk to her.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Brian said.
“Maybe it is, but it doesn’t hurt to try. She probably has no idea what she’s doing, and what’s the worst that can happen by talking to the woman? You love her don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” Brian said a bit defensively.
AJ looked at him a bit skeptically but accepted his answer all the same.
“And you want to marry her?”
“Well, yeah, at least I think I do.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” AJ asked, raising his eyebrow.
“I don’t know. When I asked her to marry me, I knew what I was doing. I knew who I was asking. I wanted to marry that Leighanne, not this one. If this is the Leighanne I’m going to marry, then I’m not sure I want to go through with it. But I can’t accept that she’s always going to be like this. I loved the other Leighanne so long that it’s hard to think that this isn’t just some freak occurrence. It’s just... it's like all the passion out of our relationship died. I thought that was supposed to happen 10 years down the road when we have kids and we’re fat and old.”
AJ looked at Brian with sympathy. He felt bad for his friend, but he didn’t know what to say to relieve his feelings. It was a hard situation. An abnormal situation.
“Talk to her Bri. Maybe you too should even take a break. Postpone the wedding?” AJ suggested.
Brian quickly shook his head, frowning, “I’ve thought of that, but I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“My parents are so invested in this already. I can’t disappoint them, not when they love Leighanne as much as they do. I feel like I’m a failure. That I’ve done something wrong. And then Leighanne’s parents…” Brian sighed heavily, sitting down next to AJ on the bench, putting his head in his hands, “This is terrible Bone. I don’t know what to do.”
AJ put his hand on Brian’s shoulder, “Talk to her.”
Brian looked over at AJ, “And if that doesn’t work?”
“Then you either need to come to terms with it, or grow the balls to do something about it.”
Brian nodded, “Yeah. Thanks Bone.”
AJ clapped Brian on the back and got up, walking over to the leg lifts. Brian looked after AJ and sighed, finally getting up and following him. AJ was right, but that didn’t stop Brian from being nervous as hell about it.
