The next two weeks were spent in the hospital, but at least they seemed to go by in a blur. Brian, Howie and AJ remained in Lexington for a few days following my surgery before they had to take a red eye to Florida to deal with some album issues. Brian didn't want to leave and it was tough convincing him to go and not come back as soon as they were finished, but Leighanne and Baylee had returned to Atlanta and needed him more there.

Good byes were bitter sweet and probably will be from now on but I made a vow the night Nick came back that I would leave nothing unsaid. Every good bye would be a good bye just in case. I spent time with each of the guys separately just trying to make sure they knew how grateful I was for everything they'd done and how much it meant that they'd been there when it mattered most. Especially AJ. That conversation was one of the hardest I've ever had because there were no words adequate to describe just how thankful I was that he'd brought Nick back when he had.

Nick and I had spent long hours since his return talking about everything that had happened and everything that would be happening in the coming months. I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him that I had been pregnant. Somehow I think I believed that it wouldn't effect him as much as it had effected me. Somehow I thought... well I don't know what I thought, but he was heartbroken. He crawled into bed beside me and laid his hand on my stomach, I reached my own hand down to his and pulled it up to my heart. I apologized for everything again. For all the things I didn't need to apologize for, because I felt like I had to.

14 days in the hospital and Nick never once left my side. He ate in my room, he slept in my room and he even showered in my private bathroom. The first week was spent confined to my bed as my body began to heal. We watched movies together and listened to music and slept a lot. I hadn't brought up the fact that Nick had skipped town even once since the night he returned and as far as I was concerned it was a fact better left in the past. All that mattered to me was that he was there now and all I wanted to think about was enjoying the present part of our lives together.

Almost a week after my surgery the doctor's gave me permission to go outside, so long as I stayed in my wheelchair. It was wonderful. We spent hours just walking around UK's campus, basking in the sunshine and enjoying the gorgeous weather. The temperatures were perfect and the dogwood trees were in full bloom as Nick pushed me along the sidewalk in front of the towers, my favorite spot on the campus. I loved being able to get outside again and was even able to visit with a couple of classmates when I ran into them heading out of one of their classes... one of my classes.

Nick went mostly undected simply by wearing a Kentucky ball cap and sunglasses. His beard had grown scruffy from staying with me in the hospital and frankly I don't think most people stare too hard at the young guy pushing around the wheelchair with the pale, skinny, sickly looking girl.

The second week had been spent making plans for the rest of my treatment. Radiation and chemotherapy were words I'd hoped to never hear again and yet, here they were staring me down in the worst way. I recieved my first treatment several days before leaving the hospital, and everyday after. Luckily so far this chemo hadn't been quite as nauseating as the first. Don't get me wrong, the icky feeling was certainly there and the knowledge that I didn't know from one second to the next exactly how I'd feel was a bit nervewracking, but it wasn't as bad as vomiting for hours and hours at a time.

We arrived home on May 10th, exactly two weeks after my surgery. I'd had my fourth chemo treatment that morning and was feeling the effects. I had never been happier than when Nick opened the door of my apartment and led me inside.

Home at last.

I walked to the couch and flopped down, stretching myself out as Nick followed closely behind and covered me carefully with my warm fleece blanket. I snuggled deep down beneath the covers and thanked God for helping me through. Nick got me a glass of water from the kitchen and came back to sit beside me.

"You okay?" He asked as he rubbed my feet gently, reaching over to grab the tv remote with his free hand.

I nodded and smiled weakly at him.

"Comfortable?"

"Mmmhmm." I closed my eyes and leaned back into the sofa, so happy to be in my home with it's familiar surroundings and everything my own.

Of course my apartment was nothing compared to the homes Nick had lived in... but it was mine and I loved it. It was comfortable and roomy, located in downtown Lexington right over the library overlooking a park where people gathered in the summer to buy hot dogs from a street vendor.

Nick stood and went to the window. He pulled back the drapes and sighed.

"Do you like it here Nick?" I whispered when he closed the curtains again and came back to sit down.

He frowned, "Of course. Lexington really is beautiful... it just takes some getting used to when you've been looking out at the ocean all your life."

I nodded, "We can visit the ocean a lot... we can go soon."

He smiled, "We will... but for now, you need to just concentrate on getting better. For now, I don't think we should get our hopes up on going anywhere anytime soon."

I nodded as tears sprang to my eyes. He was right. I had one hell of a fight ahead of me and that had to come first. The doctors hadn't given me a tremendous amount of hope... only a 25% chance for survival... but I sure as hell wasn't giving up without a fight.

Nick snuggled up closer to me on the sofa and kissed my neck gently, "I don't need to go anywhere though. Here's good... here's where we both belong."