Aaron stood backstage at the convention center, his heart pounding, his stomach churning, his nerves completely shot. In fact, he wasn't so sure he'd ever been so nervous in his entire life. Performing all those times, going out on stage by himself and being the center of attention... that was easy compared to all of this.
How do you meet the person whose child is responsible for your very existence in the world today... knowing that the child in question is no longer alive? How can you ever be thankful enough? Grateful enough? Understanding enough? How do you say, "Thank you", "I'm sorry", and "I'll never forget the things you did for me", in the same breath? Maybe Nick had been right when he'd told him that morning to go with his gut and express the feelings as they came... but how on earth could he express all the feelings running through him at the moment?
He watched from the corner as Nick, along with his fellow band members, took the stage and belted their hearts out in their first live performance in months. They were performing one of their new songs, "You Can Let Go" first and they would follow that up with a second song -- the ending of which would be Aaron's cue to join them on stage where they would sing a song together before inviting the father of his hero to join them. He couldn't believe he was actually going to get the chance to meet this girl's family after all this time. He was excited, no doubt, but at the moment the butterflies in his stomach and the overwhelming feeling of nausea in his throat were trumping that excitement.
Aaron hadn't appeared on stage in years... three years to be exact. The last time he'd taken the stage was during the Teen Choice Awards exactly two weeks prior to entering the hospital for his worldwind adventure of chaos, and after all of that he'd had neither the time nor the energy to perform again. It had been the last thing on his mind back then though, way behind the idea of living and loving and enjoying his everyday life. I guess you can say a guy's perspectives change greatly when he almost dies. He hadn't been too thrilled when Nick suggested the idea of performing with them that evening either, but he'd finally agreed and now... now he was just nervous. Nervous, excited and a few more emotions he couldn't really explain.
The other artists walking around back stage hadn't seemed to take much notice of the young man. A few stopped to say hello or to ask how he was doing. A few looked at him like he was out of place and a few just ignored him altogether. He didn't mind though. There were a lot of country music artists there and he figured many of them didn't even know who he was... and many of them probably wouldn't recognize him if they did. He'd changed a lot in the last few years. He wasn't that skinny, scrawny kid anymore. He was broader and healthier and he looked more like a grown-up than the little boy who had busted his way into the pop scene years before. It didn't matter that no one seemed to notice him today... he was in his own world and he prefered it that way.
He glanced out across the stage into the open convention center. He could see quite a bit from his spot back in the corner. Unlike in an arena, the lights were on and them mood was less formal. He could make out faces at the tables that were spread throughout the large room. Most of them were faces of happy, smiling individuals -- people he knew whose lives had been changed the same way his life had been changed. Some were wandering around talking, some were hugging, some were sitting quietly listening to the music... and some were shedding tears. Tears of joy, thankfulness, appreciation and even those of sadness and sorrow. Some were probably shedding tears of relief. Relief of knowing... the tears he felt he'd soon be releasing. He didn't know for sure which emotions each individual felt, but he'd go to bet that all of those emotions were out there somewhere in this one big room.
There in the recesses of the quiet corner he could hide away from the spotlights and the fame and enjoy being the person he was. The person who only existed now because that 19-year-old female who died to save his life. He needed to put a name to the age and a face to the name and he knew, as he listened to the guys end their first song and begin their second, that soon... very soon... he would be able to do just that.
