~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

I don’t know how I’d expected the dinner to go. But certainly not like this. Nick was even angrier than I’d realized.

“Is that so?” Kevin returned Nick’s question with a forced calm.

I expected Nick to back down. A younger Nick would have. But he stood his ground. “Yeah, it is.”

“What do you want me to say, Nick?” Kevin sighed.

Nick’s eyes widened. He’d obviously expected Kevin to fight back. “I guess there’s nothing to say then. Just wanted to make it clear how we were doing. I’m sure you thought we’d fall apart without you…”

“When have I said that?” Kevin asked, slightly louder now.

“You didn’t have to say it.”

“Nick…” Howie said, trying to intervene.

“No!” Nick stood up. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to this crap.”

“What crap?” Kevin demanded.

“You pretending you care about our CD. You obviously don’t care, or you’d still be around.”

“I…” Kevin started.

“And Brian agrees with me!” Nick pointed at me.

Oh, boy. Guess it was only a matter of time before I got dragged into this. AJ and Howie simply sat there, stunned. Some nearby tables were starting to notice the scene.

Kevin turned to me. Unlike with Nick’s comments, he seemed surprised. “You do?”

“Well…” I began.

“You think I’m lying?” Nick was still standing and yelling. AJ made motions for him to keep his voice down, but Nick ignored him.

“Not in so many words,” I told Kevin. “But… some of it, yeah. I mean, you just left. With no warning, you said you didn’t want to do another CD. Ever.” I kept my voice steady, but it was difficult. I didn’t realize how much I meant it until I started saying it, and I could feel the emotion building. “How did you think we were going to take that?”

“So Frick and Frack are going to team up on me, huh?” he looked aggravated.

“What did you expect from us?” Nick asked.

There was that ‘us’ again. I wished he’d stop putting words in my mouth.

“You know what?” Kevin asked, more angry now. “You’re pretending you’re all grown up. That you don’t need me around to make sure your butt is in line. Yet you’re in public throwing a temper tantrum! What are you going to do this time around without me there to keep you in line? Huh? You aren’t man enough to handle it.”

Nick looked taken aback. “Whatever.” He took out his wallet and threw some money on the table. “That should cover my food. I’m out of here.” He stormed towards the front door.

I sighed, torn between where I should be. I looked towards the door again. Kevin’s mention of Frick and Frack was still ringing in my ears. “I’d better try and talk to him,” I said, standing up.

Kevin looked at me. I could tell that, to him, I was choosing Nick over him. Even though I realized this, I didn’t change my mind. If he’d thought we could just forget everything just like that… well, he was kidding himself. Because, although Nick had been tactless in his attack, he had been right. Why was Kevin pretending to care about the new album and asking questions? If he truly cared, wouldn’t he still be making albums with us?

I headed outside. They didn’t say a word as I left. Nick was standing by his car. He kicked his tire a few times, taking out his aggression, and opened the car door.

“Nick, wait,” I jogged over to him. “You okay?”

“What do you think?” Nick asked. “Way to help me out in there,” he added, sarcastically.

“So now you’re going to turn on me, too? We both know you were out of line.”

“What? You think the same things…”

“No,” I contradicted. “Just because you’re mad, it doesn’t give you the right to go off on him.”

Nick started to yell back, but then sighed. “I know. I just lost it.”

I shrugged. “It happens.”

“Just because he quit the group, doesn’t mean he doesn’t care anymore,” I said, acknowledging my own question. And I knew that it was true. Even if I wasn’t ready to believe it yet.

He nodded. We exchanged a look of understanding. As pissed off as we- especially he- were, we were pissed off because we cared, too. Beneath the anger was simply the hurt he’d caused when he’d quit.

But we weren’t going to resolve it today. I said goodbye to Nick and headed home, thankful that this day was over.

When I got there, I headed inside. “August?” I called. I checked the kitchen and living room. I called again upstairs, but didn’t get a response. I was about to head up there, when I looked out the window. She was on the deck.

“Hey, baby,” I said, opening the back door.

She was leaning against the rail, looking out at the backyard. She didn’t answer me.

“I just had the worst day,” I said, coming to stand next to her. I leaned over to give her a kiss, but I noticed her face was wet. “What’s wrong?”

She was silent for a few seconds, and then turned to look at me. After realizing that I was sincere in wondering what was going on, she laughed. Bitterly. “If you can’t figure it out, then that’s not my problem.”

I sighed. “Listen, I just came from the worst dinner. So if you could just…”

“You just came from the worst dinner? You?” she cried. “It’s always about you. Want to know what I had for dinner? Nothing!”

“Well, why don’t you make…”

“Forgive me. I really thought that we’d be going somewhere tonight. Anywhere. Or we even could’ve stayed here. That would’ve been fine. I didn’t have high expectations, but I thought there’d be… something going on today. How stupid am I?”

What was she talking about? Then I thought back to her look when I’d told her that we had dinner plans with Kevin tonight. The look I’d misread.

I thought about the date. It was our anniversary.

“Oh my God…” I slapped myself on the forehead and got ready to do some heavy-duty apologizing.

August held up her hand. “I don’t want to hear it.” She shook her head as a new batch of tears started forming in her eyes.

“I can’t believe I forgot… it’s just that the album’s almost done, and Kevin was in…”

“I said that I don’t want to hear it! I listen to what is going on in your life every single day. And you haven’t taken two seconds to notice what’s happening in mine. I’m…” she opened her mouth, and then thought better of it. She turned to face the backyard again.

“August, you’re right. I can’t believe how selfish I’ve been… But I did get you something. It’s upstairs…”

She shrugged. “I don’t want it. Tonight was supposed to be special.”

“Well, we’ll have other anniversaries…”

She sighed. “Brian, you just don’t get it. And I’m tired of having to explain everything… I’m going to bed.” With one last look that made me feel horrible, she headed inside.

Okay, now I’d just had the worst day.

~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

“Well that was… memorable,” I said to Kevin, back at my place. We sat down on the couch in the living room, and I turned on the radio for some background noise.

“I knew I was going to hear it, but… I hadn’t realized to what extent,” Kevin shook his head.

“So, you think you ever will come back?” I asked. I knew it wasn’t the best time to ask, since he’d just had a fight with two of the group members. But it was something I’d been wanting to ask.

Kevin sighed. After a few seconds, he said, “Honestly? No. I’m just not at that place in my life anymore. I just wish they’d get that it’s about me, not them.”

“So it has nothing to do with the fighting last tour? And trying to make that record?”

“A little. But not really. I think that was just a good illustration that it was time to leave. I don’t think I ever came back after the break. Not completely. And I thought about it a long time before I told you guys. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore. So I just tried to enjoy every show, and do the best for the fans.” He shrugged. “I wasn’t kidding when I said you guys had my blessings to continue without me. I wasn’t trying to set you up for failure.”

I nodded. “Nick knows that. He’s just loud when he’s mad. You haven’t forgotten that, have you?” I joked.

Kevin laughed a little, too. “Yeah. Anyways… I don’t want to spend my whole visit fighting. Or talking about fighting.”

“Alright,” I agreed. Finally, we could discuss something else.

“So, AJ, seriously. What happened with this girl they were talking about? The one in the song?”

I sighed. No, we weren’t going to get a new topic of discussion after all. “It’s really no big deal.”

Kevin raised an eyebrow. “You think I was born yesterday?”

“Certainly not! You’re the oldest in the grou… well, you know what I mean.”

He laughed. “I think you mentioned someone on the phone. And August did, too, actually. I just didn’t realize it was serious.”

“It’s not!” I said, a little too quickly.

He made a “hmm” noise, giving me a thoughtful look. “Is that the problem?”

I grabbed the stereo remote and started playing with the radio stations, not wanting to look him in the eye. “Is what the problem?”

“Well, you’re not used to the complications of relationships. You get in and out pretty quickly.”

“Gee, thanks, Kev. You come all the way down from Kentucky to tell me that?”

“Well, that’s as specific as I can get without knowing what’s going on.”

I sighed. I ended up telling him the whole story. Not just about the recent fight, and the fact that I hadn’t spoken to her since, but meeting her. Working so hard to get that first date. I rambled on for a good while.

“So what happened?” Kevin asked.

“Um, I just told you,” I said.

He gave me a look. “Once again: I know you better than that. Why’d you call Cheryl?”

Man, he was too observant. I shrugged.

“Do you want my advice or not?”

Ugh. Yes, I realized I did. “I was talking to August, the night Michelle was panicking over… something. She seemed to think we were serious and in love,” I hurried on to my next statement, “and that’s not where we are at all. I didn’t want to mislead Michelle…”

Kevin opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again. There was something he obviously didn’t want to say. Instead, he said, “So because August insinuated a bigger commitment than you’re ready for, you’re punishing Michelle?”

“No, that’s not it at all.”

“Did Michelle say anything about moving the relationship forward?”

“Well, no…”

“Then what are you afraid of?”

“Nothing! Why can’t I date other people?”

“You can. It’s the fact that you chose to see that other chick again when you did, and despite the fact that you weren’t at all into her. You didn’t just meet someone else and decide you wanted a date. You used a girl you couldn’t care less about to shield yourself from the girl you do care about.”

“Well, that’s just stupid.”

Kevin just smiled, looking very pleased with himself. “That’s just love.”