~*~AJ’s point of view~*~

The alarm went off way too early. I could never, I decided, work anywhere that required me to be conscious that early. I’d probably be sneaking off at the studio second day in a row to take a nap. It wasn’t even my fault I’d been up so late. Usually, the internet was to blame. Last night, though, I hadn’t even turned on my laptop.

I’d driven Michelle to work, and managed to keep my eyes open long enough to stay on the road, and then went back to my place. I had a good hour until I needed to be leaving to meet the guys, but I couldn’t fall back asleep. I lay on the couch in vain and finally went to take a shower and get ready.

The morning passed by slowly, and I was more irritable than I would have liked to admit. I tried to come up with a third verse to my song, but that went as successfully as my attempt to nap this morning.

“How’s it coming?” Nick asked, sitting next to me. I was fumbling on the piano.

“About as good as it sounds,” I crossed out the lyric I’d just written. The page was becoming full of scratched out words. Not a single one sounded right for the song. I sang the rest, hoping when I got to that point it would come to me. It didn’t. I did tweak a few of the other lines, though.

I doubted that the song was going to be done so we could record it for this album. The still untitled album… I grabbed the piece of paper I’d been making notes on and threw it in the trash.

“Dude, deep breath!” Nick said. “You’ll never come up with the words if you try to keep forcing it.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I sighed.

“You want to come to lunch with me and Howie?”

“Where you going?”

“We’ll probably just grab some burgers.”

I started to accept the offer, but then I realized who was missing. “Brian’s not going?”

Nick shook his head. “He’s in… well, about the same mood as you today.” He laughed.

I managed a smile, too. “I think I’ll stick around here, too. Get me some fries, would you?”

Nick agreed and went to find Howie. I was starving, but I reminded myself how much I’d been missing in Brian’s life. He was always there to hear about my problems, and I hadn’t forgotten my resolve to do a better job returning the favor.

After going outside to smoke a quick cigarette, I found him in the studio, listening to Inconsolable.

“Oh would you listen to that? Our first single,” I said wryly.

Brian laughed. “Just what you and Nick wanted, right? A mid-tempo?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, of course!” I sat down in a seat across from him, listening to my verse of the song. “How’s it going, Rok?”

“Good,” he said, but distant.

“You and August talking again?”

He nodded. “I mean, she’s talking to me as little as she can. But at least she’s not completely shutting me out anymore. I don’t know… It’s almost been a week.”

Only that long? Then I remembered their fight was the same day that we’d had the dinner with Kevin. And then Sunday I’d been at the mall… It had been a long weekend. And the week hadn’t picked up much since then.

“What are you going to do?”

Brian shrugged. “I really don’t know. I gave her the anniversary present. Late, but she wouldn’t accept it that night. I was hoping that would help some, but…” he trailed off.

“That sucks. I’m sorry, man.”

“Me, too. I’ve apologized a million times, but it’s not doing a lot of good. Although, like I said, she’s talking to me some now. Maybe I just need to give it another week and see what happens. I don’t know what to do.”

I hated hearing the pain in his voice. I’d considered them as the perfect couple. I could see now that trouble had been brewing for awhile, but I hadn’t noticed anything until this blow-out.

And it seemed neither had Brian.

Still, I could remember sitting at their dining room table, being so jealous of what they had. I hadn’t thought about that since last night, sitting at Michelle’s table, eating pizza. It wasn’t the wonderful home-cooked meal that was usually found at the Littrells, but the dinner had had a homely quality.

I snapped back into reality. Brian was staring off into space. Inconsolable had just finished playing, but he hadn’t noticed. “You know, I’m the one who always has the girl problems. You need to make nice with the wife, so we can go back to only having to deal with my crap.”

Brian smiled slightly. “I’ll try.”

Good. I hoped he could. Because, honestly, if Brian couldn’t make it work out? No one else in the world stood a chance at true love.

“Speaking of drama. Anything new with the stalker?”

I shook my head. “The police are still looking. It really sucks waiting.”

“Imagine how she feels.”

“Yeah,” I said, sighing.

“What?”

“Nothing. We always talk about me. We’re focusing on you today.”

“It just so happens that I’m all talked out.” He sounded a little tired.

I wondered if he’d gotten any more sleep than I had.

“So did Michelle stay with you again last night?”

“No, I crashed at her place.”

“And… what is it you’re not telling me?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on. I always find out eventually anyway. You can’t keep your mouth shut.”

“Dude, we girls now? Gossiping and all.”

“You know it, girlfriend,” he flipped his wrist.

“You do that a little too well, you know that?” I laughed.

“Thanks,” he drew out the “s.” Then he read my face. “Oh, you two…?”

I sighed. He did always figure it out. “No. I mean, she wanted… but… we didn’t.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Brian laughed. “You turned her down? You?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not offended,” he smiled matter-of-factly. “We both know that you’re not known for… turning girls down. Especially not with someone you like so much. So what’s up?”

“It just didn’t feel right.” I shrugged.

“Oh. So, you don’t like her anymore?” Brian looked confused.

“She’s got someone after her, most likely trying to kill her. He almost hauled her off this weekend…” my voice cracked a little just thinking about it. I quickly cleared my throat.

He hadn’t been at the mall. He hadn’t seen how white she’d gone. How scared she was. It wasn’t an image I could get out of my mind.

Brian waited for me to continue. When I didn’t, he filled in the blanks for himself. “Oh. You think it’d be taking advantage of her?”

I was about to answer when Nick and Howie came in with their food. Nick handed me my fries and sat next to me. They were talking about some baseball game, so Brian and my conversation was cut short.

He’d, of course, hit it right on the money, though. She was vulnerable. She didn’t know what she was doing, what she was thinking. What kind of person would I have been? A week ago, Michelle wasn’t even speaking to me.

I heard someone in the doorway. Just the person I was thinking of.

“What are you doing here?”

Michelle was standing next to Carmen and Dianna. “I’m… with Carmen,” she simply stated the obvious. I couldn’t help but notice that she was avoiding my eyes as much as possible.

“I needed to pick something up from Mr. Littrell over here,” Carmen motioned towards him. “August give you my movie?”

“Yes, no, well…. I’ve got it, anyway,” he went to rummage through his stuff and pulled out a DVD rental. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

I must’ve still looked puzzled as to why they were here.

“It has to go back today,” Carmen said. “We’re going to go drop it off now.”

“Aw, you have to leave already?” Howie wrapped his arms around Dianna.

“Why? Got anything new to play for us?”

“Umm…” Howie thought it over. “We put the final touches on Unmistakable.”

“Really? That one’s my favorite!” she sent a pleading look to Carmen.

“Five minutes,” Carmen sighed.

I heard Michelle mumble something about going to get some water, and she was gone. It took Howie a few minutes to find the track. He put it on for Dianna and Carmen to hear. Halfway through the song, Michelle wasn’t back, so I went in search for her.

As I walked down the hallway, I could hear her talking to someone. Rounding the corner, I could see her with the receptionist in the front lobby, as well as someone else. He had shaggy hair and was holding a guitar.

“Do you have any idea what it costs to book the studio? And your band has been waiting here for an hour for you!” Michelle had her hands on her hips.

The guitarist seemed apathetic. He started making excuses, about his alarm not going off and there being traffic.

“Okay, that’s wonderful. Why don’t you tell that to your failed career? Because diva crap like that is only going to get you a job at McDonalds. There are a lot of songs that never get heard by anyone. Keep it up, and the only fan you’ll have will be your mom. You want me to tell your group that the CD they’ve been working so hard on is going to be for nothing because you’re too lazy to get to the studio and play your guitar?”

Now he looked taken aback, not to mention a little ashamed. “No,” he mumbled.

“Good. Now get your butt in there, and don’t let that happen again!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he rushed off.

“Wow,” the receptionist, Sophie, said. “That was amazing. Thank you so much!”

“Oh, no problem,” Michelle said. “I have to deal with that all the time. I’ve got these high schoolers who started showing up for work whenever they felt like it…”

“Are you the boss?”

Michelle laughed, a little bitterly. “No, I just do the boss’ job. But it has to get done.”

I walked towards the desk. “What was all that about?”

Michelle looked surprised to see me there and stayed quiet. Sophie answered.

“Their group signed with the record company recently. That’s their lead guitarist, and we’ve been having all sorts of problems with him. I’ve tried talking with him, but… I’ve never gotten a ‘ma’am,’” she looked at Michelle in admiration.

“You just can’t be nice to people like him. Show him that you’re in charge and that, with one push of the security button, you can have him thrown out of the building,” Michelle winked at her.

Sophie laughed, and the phone started ringing. “Oh, sorry, I need to get this… hello.”

Michelle gave me an awkward glance as we headed back to the others.

“You really did a great job. He was about to cry.”

She laughed a little. “No, he wasn’t. That would’ve been funny, though.”

When we got back, Carmen was ready to leave. At least I’d gotten Michelle to say a little bit; she was so unusually quiet. I tried to come up with a reason to stall them a little more, but failed.

“Alright, guys. Good luck recording. I’ll see you later,” Carmen said.

“Bye, sweetie,” Dianna gave Howie a quick kiss. “Loved the song!”

“Even Carter didn’t sound so bad on it,” Carmen teased.

“Ohhh,” Brian called. “You know, we were this close. You two were doing so well.”

We’d almost gotten through one encounter where there hadn’t been any fighting between the two of them. Almost.

“This coming from the world’s worst karaoke singer? Yeah, I’m hurt,” Nick rolled his eyes.

“Alright!” Dianna laughed, grabbing Carmen’s hand and pulling her out the door.

“Um, see you guys later!” Michelle said quickly, glancing at the other guys and following Dianna and Carmen out the door.

I sighed. Time for another cigarette.

~*~Brian’s point of view~*~

“Alright, guys. See you tomorrow,” I said. For once, I wasn’t the last one out of the studio.

“Hold up, “I’m coming, too,” AJ said, grabbing his keys and following me out the door.

“Any plans tonight?”

I shook my head. “I’m going to go by the flower shop on the way home.”

“That sounds like a plan. Good luck, Rok.”

I nodded, wondering how long August was going to stay mad at me. I got that I screwed up big time. I mean, it was our anniversary. But she had to be able to see how sorry I was. I couldn’t change it, so where did we go from here?

I smiled, wryly, thinking of the song.

“You going to see Michelle later?”

AJ nodded. “I guess she’s mad at me but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let her stay at her apartment by herself. Whether or not she wants to talk to me, I’m not letting Peter anywhere near her. I’ll sit outside her freaking door if I have to.”

I nodded, impressed at his commitment. He was a good guy, but that wasn’t something he was always known for. He was different now, though. And I didn’t think he’d realized it yet.

“I don’t think she’s mad at you,” I said.

“She wouldn’t even look at me.”

“Yeah. That’s called embarrassment. Usually she’s more vocal about it when she’s mad, right? I mean, it’s gotta be awkward talking to the guy you were just rejected by.”

“I wouldn’t put it that way… She’s probably relieved now that that didn’t happen.”

I gave him a pitying look. “Yeah, right, AJ. Anyways, I’ve got to get home. See you later.”

I picked up a dozen roses, and when I pulled in the driveway, it wasn’t even five yet. I’d been making an active effort to get home earlier this week. Hopefully she was noticing.

“August?” I walked inside. Her car was out front, but I didn’t see her anywhere. Kitchen, living room, dining room. I headed upstairs. I walked into the master bedroom and threw my keys on the bed.

I was about to call for her again, when I heard something in the bathroom. The light was on and the door was slightly cracked. After setting the bouquet on the dresser, I knocked as I opened the bathroom door. “Au…” I started to say, and froze when I saw her.

She was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shaking with uncontrollable tears, her hands covering her face.

“What is it?” I rushed inside and sat next to her.

August jerked away from me. “It’s gone.”

“What is?”

“I lost it,” she sounded hysterical. She was standing in front of the sink now, but her face was still in her hands.

“Lost what?” I was racking by brain, trying to understand what she meant.

I stood up and walked in front of her, putting my hands on her shoulders, wishing she’d calm down enough to be able to tell me what was wrong. It was hurting me to see her like this. “Lost what?”

She was breathing in short gasps. She finally looked up, eyes red and pull of pain. “The baby.”

“Baby?” I stared at her. “What baby?” She still wasn’t making sense to me.

She didn’t- couldn’t- answer.

“You were pregnant?”

“Were,” she started crying harder again.

I tried to speak, but I didn’t know what to say. “I… uhh…”

August moved away from me and grabbed another tissue.

“I… I… I didn’t know,” I stammered.

She shook her head, sorrow and anger mixing in her expression. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” I was still trying to process what she’d just told me.

My wife had had a miscarriage.

“This,” she took another few shaky breaths. She wiped her face, but it was in vain. Fresh tears were now streaking down her face. “We’re… just… I can’t.”

She rushed out of the room. I stood there for a few seconds. Finally, I had the strength to move my legs, and I followed her downstairs. She’d already rushed out of the house though. When I opened the front door, her car was disappearing down the drive.

I didn’t know what to think or what to do. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I hadn’t even had any clue that she was pregnant. How was I supposed to feel now? Could someone miss something he never even knew he’d had?

I clutched my chest as I felt the pieces of my heart breaking and water fill my eyes.

Yes, he could.