Nicks POV
So it has been one hell of a night. I spent all night trying to silently convince myself I don't have any feelings for Sophia, and that going home to Lauren and trying to repair my broken marriage is the honorable thing to do.
As I lay here watching re-runs of Friends. Yes, I know friends. A.J would be so proud. I look down at a sleeping or should I say passed out Sophia. I can't believe the situation I got myself into this time.
I here Joey and Ross fighting over Rachael. "I hear ya buddy, I know its a messed up situation." I say cursing myself as Sophia stirs in her sleep mumbling something in-coherent.
I am so lost and have no idea what to do. I keep playing mine and Lauren's meeting over, and over in my head she finally says what I want her to say, and suddenly I wish she never said those words. I move Sophia off of me and move to the kitchen table with my good friends Jack and Daniel. Double fisting right now seems appropriate.
5 Hours Earlier- Nick Lauren
"Nick, can we go somewheres more private and talk. This is embarassing enough. Airing our issues like its some sort of dirty laundry on a close line?" Lauren asks after she asked for a hug.
I look into her eyes, they were the same eyes I looked into on our wedding day except the light in them is gone, there used to be a spark a twinkle if you must it is gone.
"I don't think we have anything left to say." I said as coldly as I could muster up. It is her fault we are even having this conversation I glare at her. "
"Everything I had to say, I said it at marriage counseling with Dr. Amshad. You walked out and quote said there is nothing left to talk about." I moved my fingers into quote signs.
"Nick, Please" She pleaded with me
"Okay" She grabbed my hand and before I knew what I was doing I squeezed it back. Then realized what was going on and I let go of her hand "Lauren, don't- Okay"
She looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. Those were the eyes she could get me to do anything. Used to being the key word.
We walked silently side by side through the freshly cut manicured grass. Passing some sculptures of skulls and angels. The same sculptures I passed earlier with Sophia. I inwardly sighed as I thought of Sophia.
I stopped at a Black stone pergola with a couple of homemade stone chairs with cushions. Looking up at the ceiling there were grape vines hanging down. I made a mental note to self. To come back in a few weeks and pick some.
"So, what did you want to say?" I asked Lauren Im sure I looked as impatient as I sounded. I was still really pissed off at Lauren and the whole situation. Not to mention she put a huge damper on the special night I had planned with Sophia after the BBQ.
Lauren looked taken back and I saw her swallow hard. She looked really scared. "I...I made a mistake".
"Just one" I said not even looking at her."
"No-More than one" I could hear her voice starting to break up. "I shouldn't of ever cheated on you."
"Really-your just noticing this now." I say through gritted teeth still not looking at her.
"Okay- is that it?" I say starting to stand up. For the first time since we sat down I looked at her. She had tears streaming down her porcelain skin.
God, why did I still have to care so much about her. It killed me to see her cry and to know I was somewhat the cause of it. I put my hand on her shoulder
"It is what it is, but its not worth crying over."
"Nick, that is where you are wrong. You are worth crying over. I lost you over a stupid fling." she says going from standing in front of me to sitting down and putting her head in her hands.
"I left him Nick, I left Rodderick." She says staring at me.
"I am willing to do whatever to start a family." She says as she uncovers her eyes.
"Lauren- I- I" I stutter "Its to late. I have moved on."
God I hoped it sounded belivable, it wasn't really a lie. Fuck I am so confused right now.
"Right with that bitch." She mumbles
I stand up for her "She is not a bitch, so don't talk about her in that way." I say getting defensive.
She stands up and gets low to my level and strips down her T-Shirt and removes her bra and takes off her shorts and flip flops and stands in front of me. She sits down on my lap and kisses my neck in all the right spots and whispered in my ear while lingering and nibbling on my left ear lobe.
"Remember how good we were".
Oh how I wished she didn't remember those spots.. I looked back at her and all her nakedness and it took everything I had in me to push her off of me.
"Lauren this is and always was our problem, we don't communicate, when ever we had a fight or had a disagreement we always turned to sex. Its not working. I am not having sex with you. If you want to talk, talk."
I say picking up her discarded clothes off of the floor of the pergola and chuck them at her.
"Im sorry-I just don't know how else to be with you Nick." She shrugged her shoulders in defeat.
"Is it really over?" She asks in such a tiny voice it broke my heart all over again. I could see here eyes well up with tears.
"Can you really say you don't love me anymore?" She asks taking my hands. I see the way you look at her and its not the same way you look at me."
"Lauren-I" I scrambled to find the right words I was so confused.
"Of course I still love you, but you really hurt me and I don't trust you. You knew, Damn it Lauren you fucking knew how hard it was for me to ask you to marry me with the issues with my parents being divorced, you fucking knew. You promised you would never cheat on me." I say pulling my hands away from hers with such force it put her backwards some.
"Hunny-" Lauren said stepping closer. "Don't fucking say that Lauren not anymore."
Lauren stepped back "Nick, Im sorry I made a mistake. Its not like I didn't catch you before with some other woman."
Nick scoffed "That was fucking different." That was before we were married and decided to spend the rest of our lives together forever." I stopped to catch my breath I was yelling pretty loud. "When I said I do, Lauren I Stopped all of that you were the only fucking woman I ever wanted to wake up next too, and you were the only person I could ever see myself with." I was so fucking mad all of my pent up anger came flying out of me.
Lauren looked taken back "I said I made a mistake Nick. I realized I made a big mistake leaving you."
Nick shook his head "No-Lauren you don't get a free pass. I used to be the fucking king of this game. Your flings over so you want me back."
"No- My fling wasn't over Nick. I made a really big mistake and I just really miss the life we made together. I want to try to have a baby again, whether its naturally, a surogate, or adoption. I really need you Nick, god I miss you so much. Life isn't the same." Lauren came closer and got down on her knee.
I look down at her and couldn't believe the words that were coming out of my mouth. "Lauren-Stand up" I say grabbing her hand and placing her hands at her side.
"Im sorry its to late. You lied to me over and over again and made me believe I was going crazy. That you weren't cheating on me. When, infact you were and it was going on for a year I find out in our therapy session.- That you walked out on. That was a month ago. A lot has changed in a month."
"Sophia-"
"Not just Sophia. I realized im happier without you. For 6 months Lauren I have basically known you were cheating. In my heart I knew, I just didn't want to believe it. I knew in my heart you were though- remember I know all the signs."
"So that is that in- your leaving me."
"Lauren- you already left me you packed up all your shit and said you were moving in with Rodderick."
Nick stop with all that I said I made a mistake. Please just can we try to move past it. You know how fucked up things were when we lost our baby. It killed me, and peice of me died. You hit it on the head when you said nothing was the same since then. you were right it just took you to be in the arms of someone else for me to see it."
I had tears of anger flowing down my face" Lauren, I fucking waited and was faithful, waiting for you to snap out of it and you didn't, you just didn't. It is to little to late."
"Well I did now, Nick. I can't lose you."
"Its to late Lauren."
"Its never to late and besides I know I can give you what you always wanted- A Baby. I went to a clinic in Switzerland, and they said they can help us."
"Lauren, we are in no shape to bring a god damn child into a home like this." I said exasperated pointing between us almost laughing.
"Nick, Baby steps right. We can start over." Lauren came up to me and wrapped her arms around me "Hug me tighter, feel that grip there is still something to hold onto. Please- just give us a chance."
"Lauren- I just this is crazy. No, I need time to think." I say putting my head in my hands.
"Nick, what if it doesn't work out with Sophia? Your going to throw a marriage away on a fling."
"Its not a fling." I say staring her straight in the eyes.
She rolled her eyes and says in a scarcastic tone. "Yah- well neither was mine and it turns out he is going back to his wife."
"So thats why? you want me back because your fling ended. I was right again." I shook my head "We're done here".
I storm away walking in front of her. Almost sucked in by her lies again, I was so fucking mad. I hope A.J wasn't going to miss the lawn art because I just ruined it.
"Maybe so- But the fling ending made me realise how much I cared for you. I am going to fight for you. I am not giving up on us." She yelled as I heard her yell behind me.
"Lauren go suck a dick." I say childishly I really wasn't my best self around her "Ohh-Wait you have already done that." I scream.
Once we saw the rest of the crew I wiped my eyes and watched as Lauren stormed in the other direction. I saw Sophia and walked up to her and kissed her passionately and hard. Why after did I do that, did I feel so guilty. Why was I watching Lauren out of the corner of my eye.
-End of Flashback-
So as I sit here drinking away with my old time buddies, with my I-Pad, and ear phones in I come across a song that fits my situation just perfectly. I listen to the words intently and can't help but relate to the song.
I also couldn't help but wonder if after the next few weeks Sophia and I would still feel the same about each other. After the song is over I look at the clock and see that it says 5:15 am. I shut my laptop off along with the kitchen light and the rest of the lights on. I walk over to my couch and pickup sleeping Sophia in my arms and carry her to my bed.
She stirs in her sleep and looks at me with her eyes half opened. "Mmm Nick, please don't hurt me." She closes her eyes and I lay beside her and put my arm around her still frame.
"I will try not too." I whisper into the mid air and hold on to her tight not ever wanting to let her go.
-MEANWHILE....
"So, did you do it?" The voice asked on the other end of the phone.
"We are getting closer Baby" Lauren grins devilishly
"So he bought it?"
"Of course...I planted the seed. Soon everything will be in order-"
"Good- Talk more later."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hello Everyone :)
I hope you are all still enjoying my story. I have some pretty big twists coming your way.
Song for this chapter- Framing Hanley- photographs and Gasoline. ( Make sure you listen to the song, it fits almost perfectly.)
Special Shout Out Too:
Kyrie- Hope everything is going good for you. Thank you for all your previous reviews and words of encouragement. I hope you like this chapter.
Brian_Fan_4eva- Thank you!!! I am so freaking happy that you are still liking the story. I am very curious to know what you think of the chapter.
Hazel- Thank you so much for your kind review. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can keep you on your toes. Please let me know what you think.
Much Love,
Rosalie
I hope you are all still enjoying my story. I have some pretty big twists coming your way.
Song for this chapter- Framing Hanley- photographs and Gasoline. ( Make sure you listen to the song, it fits almost perfectly.)
Special Shout Out Too:
Kyrie- Hope everything is going good for you. Thank you for all your previous reviews and words of encouragement. I hope you like this chapter.
Brian_Fan_4eva- Thank you!!! I am so freaking happy that you are still liking the story. I am very curious to know what you think of the chapter.
Hazel- Thank you so much for your kind review. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I can keep you on your toes. Please let me know what you think.
Much Love,
Rosalie
