6 Months later-  Sophia’s POV

It wasn’t easy leaving everything I knew behind, but it was getting easier. Sometimes I have these small reminders like a song on the radio, or flashbacks whenever I hear sirens.  I am learning to deal and cope with this lonliness I have created.  I have called my parents just long enough to hear their voices, to make sure they are okay. I don’t think they know it is me because, I never say anything I just listen to there breathing to ease my fears that they will be taken away from me too, until I hear a dail tone and the breathing stops. I hope they know I love them.

I am going to a support group every Thursday.  Sometimes it’s really hard to listen to their stories.  Some of the stories are about addiction, addiction to drugs, sex, love.  Other times the stories are about loss, losing someone or something very important to them. Although, these stories are really upsetting to hear; sometimes it makes me feel like I’m not as pathetic as I feel. Other times I feel like im surrounded by family who love and appreciate me, even though I don’t feel as I love and appreciate myself.

I clap as the last speaker of the evening enters the stage. “When are you going  up to the hot seat?” Rochelle whispered to me with inquiring eyes. “I Dunno” I shrugged my shoulders in response. Rochelle is the wife of one of the members here. 

Her husband is the guy who is up there talking now, he is full of tattoos and skull jewellery in my past life he is someone I would be weary to get to know. I have learned never to judge a book by its cover because he is one of the most honest, and caring people I have ever heard speak, he is very charismatic.

Rachelle and I have became… well she is probably my only 'girl-friend' here. Although, she knows nothing about me really or my past, I keep myself pretty closed up. I know they say I should talk about it, but to be honest it just hurts to damn much to think about it anymore than I have to. She knows what I want her to know and I think she gets that. She knows I was married and it ended badly and she knows I live on Riekard Avenue in an apartment with my dog.

My thoughts were taken back to the tattooed man on stage I think his name is Alexander? I met him awhile ago but I am not so great with names. “ Today I am celebrating three years sobierty, I couldn’t have done it without the support of my everything, my rock, my baby, my beautiful wife- Rochelle, or my Mother, or my Brothers, most importantly my baby girl Ava. She is my reason she needs me to be her rock, so I need to continue to be strong.”

Alexander’s eyes were filling up with water, making his chocolate brown eyes shine. He put his hands in the air “If I can do it all of you can beat your deamons too.”  He looked so happy , I don’t remember the last time I felt that happy.

The room exploded with a round of applause and cheers. The acoustics made it sound like a thunder storm with rain hitting the tin roof.  I stood up alongside Rochelle and clapped, Alexander came down and picked up Rochelle and spung her around in a circle.

I heard Rochelle whisper “ Im so proud of you Monkey.” Alexander hugged her tighter.

“Congratulations on three years Alexander”. I put my hand up for a high five, but he pulled me into a hug. I was quickly learning this guy wore his heart on his sleeve.

“Thank you So…” He stammered

“Sophia, don’t worry about it im not so great with names either.”  I smiled “Congratulations again, I will see you two next week then?” As I grabbed my coat off of the back of the chair, judging by the darkness of the sky it was a good thing I brought my umbrella as well.

*** “Sophia…call me A.J, my friends call me A.J.”  A.J helped Rachelle put on her jacket like a gentleman. I smiled as I watched the couple in front of me Jealousy rang through me. I tried not to let it show, I mean it is un-believably cute to watch them. It just hurts knowing that I had that before, before the accident I sighed to myself.

Not realizing that Rochelle and AJ were still talking to me “ So what do you say, do you want to come celebrate with us?”

I shook my head, to get rid of my thoughts. I could tell by the temperature of my body that I must have turned a lovely shade of pink. I didn’t want to seem like a complete idiot so I just said yes. I had no idea what I said yes too.

“Great” Rochelle replied happily and clapped her hands together. “Were leaving now to meet some friends at Club Cobra you can follow us there if you want” AJ put on his sunglasses and fedora leopard print hat as we walked outside.

I couldn’t help but smile, its been a long time since I have been out and it might be fun.  This weather wasn’t the epitome of fun though it hasn’t rained in LA in 4 weeks, and of course today of all days it decides to pour.

“ I don’t drive ill just catch a cab and meet you there.” I yelled over the sound of heavy rain hitting the pavement.  “Don’t be silly Sophia just come with us”. Rochelle replied grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the Pearl white Escalade parked in the parking lot.

I got into the vehicle and the new car smell took over my senses, I watched as the cars passed us by I quietly sat in the back as Rochelle and A.J chatted amongst themselves in the front seat, as low music played in the background I couldn’t help but smile as I silently sang the all familiar words in my head, as I remembered our last dance together.

 It was our wedding song at our wedding, but this was before the wedding we were practicing our dance moves. He picked me up and twirled me around as the song started to play.  Lucas wasn’t really a romantic guy, but he sure did make it romantic this night. We were dancing by the ocean, the waves came crashing up hitting our toes making our toes dig a little further.  We swayed in time together. Matching each others step, each others movement. It was so perfect it is a memory I never want to forget. The stars were shining bright his hands wrapped around my waist, our little girl dancing in my belly, feeling little flutters as her daddy brushes his fingers against my belly.

I jumped out of my skin hearing AJ honking his horn with his head out the window yelling "Three years sober today. Time to parrrrtttyyy."   As we pulled up to the Club I noticed all the cameras and girls holding up signs saying congratulations I recongized the E- Entertainment news van. Somehow I knew this was going to be a night I soon wouldn’t forget. I just hoped I could do this. I know some might think Im crazy its just a club but for me it is the first time being out without him, without Lucas.