Sophia and I decided that we need to talk about a lot of things and more in depth but not here at the house neither of us want to see my mom.
I especially don’t. I still cant believe- actually wait I can believe my mom would do this to me. She would do anything for money. Even if that means destroying lives including innocent ones especially her own flesh and blood.
Sophia ran upstairs to get ready and I finally turned my phone on. I shut it off last night and just turned it on now. I have many missed phone calls and 10 voice mails luckily that is all my phone can hold.
I have many missed text mostly from each of the guys wondering if I am okay and if I got in touch with Sophia and basically just wondering what the hell is going on because we have a show in a few days, that I need to be back for. A lot of Nick Im not putting up with this shit, that one was from Kevin.
I sat there looking at my phone wondering which one I wanted to talk to first. I figured management would be a good one. I chewed on my bottom lip as I contemplated this I opted for management.
They are just going to hassle the other guys until they hear from me. So I was just about to dial their number. When Ava and A.J popped up on my screen
“Hey-Im sorry about having my phone off” I rushed quickly before I heard any yelling of anysort.
“Hi Shithead, where in the fuck, what the fuck is going on? Everyone is going nuts here management is super pissed. Fans are super pissed that your with someone that acts like that, im just worried.
"Like what the fuck. It’s like you fell off the face of the earth man. Did you talk to Sophia?” I slightly chuckled to myself A.J was in full dad, worried, panic mode. I can tell he was smoking which meant he wasn’t around the other guys.
“Can you do me a favor. Can you tell the fellas im fine and ill be back for the show and not to worry. Sophia and I still have lots to talk about. I could hear the noise in the background.
"Cover for me with manangement cause im not leaving Soph here with my mother. It is a long story.” I paced back and forth staring outside in the back yard. I loved having the ocean so close.
“Nick- what the fuck am I supposed to say?” A.J sighed and whispered “Im not good at keeping secrets” As I could hear Howie coming up to him asking who he was talking too.
“Then don’t A.J im not telling anything so you don’t have to keep secrets.” I rolled my eyes “just let them know im fine.”
AJ sighed out of annoyance “I know this is something you have to take care of and I know you love her but come on man do you really know her?”
A.J thought Nick hung up on him the silence was deafening “Are you there man I am not around anyone…you can talk to me. You know this right. I know it has to be confusing.”
Nick sighed and wanted to beat his head against the wall- this was why he avoided calling any of them and why he let the battery run out of his phone.
“Im here- I get it A.J. All anyone needs to know is I love her and its complicated and leave it at that.”
“Okay, look just be back for the concert in a couple of days okay?” A.J exhaled the smoky carbon monoxide.
“Gotta go man- I owe you one.” I quickly clicked off the phone as I heard Sophia coming down the stairs.
I grinned over at her and wrapped my arms behind her “I love you”
“I Know” She whispered and averted my eyes I pulled her in for a hug and hugged her so tight I never wanted to let her go… I wanted to ask her a pretty big question.
“You ready to get out of here for a bit?” She nodded as I moved a piece of hair out of her eyes and behind Sophia’s ear.
I grabbed her hand and we headed outside…we walked along the beach and we stopped and grabbed some ice cream and we buried our toes in the sand and the dogs were enjoying resting as well they were soaked from chasing driftwood in the waves.
“So are you ready to talk me now? I know your avoiding talking about it Sophia. I don’t’ want to upset you but I need to know what happened.
"I don’t understand how you could attack one of my fans. I need to understand, the guys need to understand, Management needs to understand. Fans need to understand, the public needs to understand.”
I heard her sigh “Why- I really don’t think it is going to make a difference it happened. It is what it is.”
“It is what it is?” I shook my head at her in disbelief
“Really Soph that’s all I get from you. Come off it. I am taking a big hit from everyone being with you.”
She looked up at me with a lot of attitude and broke down at the same time
“Then don’t be with me.” She got up and started to walk away I jogged after her
“Sophia stop. Stop pushing me away” I yelled and got her to to turn around, once I got closer my expression got softer once I realised she had tears In her eyes.
“We have to deal with them together.”
“I don’t want you to look at me different.” She mumbled under her breath. “I don’t want you to give up on me. I don’t want you to realise that Im not good enough for you.”
Nick got closer “Babe, if I didn’t want to be with you I wouldn’t. I would of given up long ago.”
“Im going to have to sit down for this- I don’t think you understand how hard this is to talk about I haven’t told anyone ever and I buried it.”
"I was really drunk, and embarrassed to say high on pain killers and cocaine. It was the first and last time I ever did any type of drug. It was an awful time I lost my husband who I found out was cheating on me all in the same few months, I also lost my unborn child. I was a reck.”
Nick sat us down so I was sitting in between in his legs had his arms wrapped around me from behind.
“Its okay babe…” Nick rubbed his hands down my arms as the goosebumps started to appear.
“I was really messed up I was dancing with two guys at a dirty bar in my hometown… I was just having fun forgetting about all the past events.
The guy started to kiss me and it felt good to feel loved even if it was from some drunken stranger. I pushed my family away at this point and still to this day I haven’t really spoken to them.”
Sophia watched as Nick nodded and urged me to continue. “ I know im kind of all over the place but this isn’t easy to talk about.”
“I know its not but you need to.” Nick kissed my head and squeezed me tighter, and whispered into my ear “Im not going anywhere okay. I love you.”
I nodded and felt the stinging in my eyes as I remembered the memory.
“It was all fun and games until it wasn’t anymore. They started getting aggressive grabbing my breasts squeezing them so hard they left bruises, pushing me up hard against them that I could feel how inappropriate the situation was getting.
It wasn’t fun anymore. I tried to leave but one of them was to strong. I went to walk away and the bigger of the two guys grabbed my arm so hard it popped my arm out of its socket.
I spit into the guys face the smaller guy of the two his hair was red and long in a mullet. I remember the bar being smokey, dirty, broken glass everywhere, and an obscene amount of drugs everywhere.
" Anyways I got loose until I got into the alleyway. I remember the bright light hitting my eyes and my head instantly started to spin. I started to run but it was like no matter how fast I ran they were faster. I broke my heel that night and I fell the big guy grabbed me and held me down while the other guy got on top of me and ripped my shirt open and pulled up skirt and ripped tTmy panties off of me." the tears were streaming down Sophias face.
"I screamed so loud for someone to help me every time I would scream they would hit me and or kiss me to get me to shut up. The smaller guy started to pull his pants down and grabbed a condom out of his pocket and proceeded to sit on me."
"I screamed as he got closer and closer. I could remember just wanting to die to have a heart attack, to overdose, to have a stroke. I wanted to die that was the lowest point in my life, the dirtiest I have ever felt."
I looked at Nick and he was looking at me the way I didn’t want him too. Pathetic, I didn’t want to be that pathetic girl.
“Then all of a sudden I heard sirens…Police came out of no where and they saved me. So when I get put into intense situations like that Its like I see red. So when the fans were ganging up on me and crowding me I just went back to that place and fought back.”
Sophia was crying so hard she could barely see the ocean in front of her. “Im so sorry Nick I know this is a lot.”
Nick grabbed me “Its okay babe- its awful you had to go through that. Im so sorry I made you dig up the memories.”
“Shh its okay let it out.” Nick rubbed Sophias head until she couldn’t cry anymore and they sat there in silence.
They sat there on the beach holding each other
"I am never letting you go.”
“Nick- that’s ridiculous “ Sophia rested her head against him
“Its okay I am working through it the best way I know how. You are going to have to let me go sometime.”
“How are you so strong?” Nick mumbled against my neck
“That’s simple because of you. You loving me and being there and understanding and making me talk to you. It helps.”
“Come on tour with me.” Nick blurted out speaking really fast.
“What?”
“Come on tour with me Sophia.”
“Nick I can’t. Its not the right time. I have no job the fans hate me.”
“They would understand. Who cares if they don’t. I need you with me. I don’t trust my mom and Lauren right now. I want to protect you. I want to kiss you, hug you, make sweet love to you every morning and every night.”
“Nick this is why I didn’t tell you.” Sophia sighed heavily
“No- I wanted to ask you earlier. I miss you when your not around.“Don’t worry about the job right now it will come. Right now take some time for yourself we can get you enrolled in online classes.”
“Just say yes”
“Nick this seems sort of fast”
“Don’t worry about anyone or anything- just say yes”
“Yes”
Sophia mumbled as the sun was starting to set and it felt like things were going to be right again.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Please Review :)
I haven't been getting much reviews lately and I would love to know what everyone who is reading. What they think and anything that they would like to see happen in the story.
Lots of love,
Rosalie
xoxooxoxox
I haven't been getting much reviews lately and I would love to know what everyone who is reading. What they think and anything that they would like to see happen in the story.
Lots of love,
Rosalie
xoxooxoxox
Chapter End Notes:
Please Review
